21. Sequin

21

SEQUIN

T hat night, my chest is hollow. I go through the motions of driving home and making dinner for Chime. All the while, memories of making love to Slade replay in my head. Not just the kisses and how thoroughly he filled me, but his gentle restraint and the way he cupped my cheek like I was the most precious thing in the world. What would it be like to bond to a man like him? I can’t imagine the bliss of being able to touch him whenever I wanted. Would he hold me every night? Could I wake up in the warmth of his arms the way I did six years ago?

Probably not anymore. He was so upset when he left.

Normally, I put Chime to bed in her room for a few hours before I turn down myself, but tonight we read books in my bed until she falls asleep curled up on my chest. I stroke her fur long after her eyes are closed, and her breath has slowed. What will she think when she finds out that the big stranger she met tonight is her alpha dad? Will she be angry with me for keeping them apart too?

Maybe she has every right to be.

I stay awake far too late worrying about the future. The next morning, I can barely drag myself out of bed. Taking Chime over to Aunt Emerald’s house is a relief, though. When I finally get to the baking trailer behind my home, I don’t have to pretend to be okay. I add all the ingredients to the dough mixer like a zombie, too sad and wrung out to enjoy the routine of it all. Normally, I love this part of the day. I get some time to myself, and the comforting scent of flour and yeast calms my soul. But this morning, I just feel lonely.

At ten o’clock, there’s a knock on the door. That’s strange.

Aunt Emerald just walks in if she needs to talk to me before I’m done with the bread. I pull off my plastic gloves and walk across the metal floor of the kitchen to open the door. A heavily pregnant omega is standing outside the trailer. His face is a spitting image of Chime’s. The resemblance is so striking, I know who he is immediately.

“Jake?”

He smiles. “Hi. I’m assuming you’re Quin?”

“Yes. How did you… I didn’t give Slade my address.”

He drags a hand through his hair. “Sorry. I looked up your bakery online, and this was the address listed.”

“I thought you lived in San Antonio,” I say. That’s a long drive.

“I do. I, um, really need to talk to you. It looks like you’re working, but I can wait.”

I look back at the bread pans filled with dough. Normally, I make the cookies while I wait for the bread to rise, but that could wait. At least for a little while.

“Let’s go to my house,” I say, pointing to the trailer out front.

He follows me through the back door. I wish I finished doing the dishes before leaving this morning. Boxes of cereal and empty bowls still wait on the table.

“Sorry about the mess. Can I get you some tea? Or maybe some water?”

He pulls out a chair and sits, his belly almost touching the edge of the table. “Thank you. Some water would be nice.”

I clear off the cereal and bowls before grabbing glasses of water for both of us. Jake watches me closely. At first, I just think he’s being attentive. But when I place his glass in front of him, he moves back slightly, acutely aware of where my body is in relation to his.

He reminds me of Silver’s best friend, Lucas. When we were growing up, Lucas used to come to school with black eyes now and again. He never told us he got them from his alpha dad, but Silver worried about it.

Has Jake been abused too?

I sit across from him. I’m still wearing a hair net and an apron covered in flour. “Oh my god. This is embarrassing.” I pull the hairnet off my head and toss it into the trash.

Jake lets out a breathy laugh. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for interrupting.”

“No worries at all. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” He pulls out his phone and swipes his screen a few times, then slides it across the table. There’s a photo of two little boys grinning at each other over an ice cream sundae on the screen. One looks like a carbon copy of Chime, and the other is bigger with Slade’s nose.

“That’s the only photo we have of us as kids. Our moms lost all the others. Slade remembers a time when they weren’t addicts, but I don’t. He was the one who took care of me. He made sure I had enough to eat and he kept me safe. He was my world back then.” Jake takes his phone back and swipes to another picture. This one is a mug shot of a young teenage boy. He’s dangerously skinny with sores on his face.

“Slade was good at staying out of trouble. He did his homework and kept his nose clean. I didn’t. This is the first time I got caught with drugs. I was only thirteen.”

I can’t believe that’s a photo of Jake. He looks like an entirely different person.

“A year later, our moms were arrested, and we got put in foster care. Most families won’t take a kid with a record, so we got separated. I was put in a group home, and he was sent to live with a lady named Georgina. Up until that point, I’d done a lot of stupid shit, but Slade was always there to get me out of it. At the group home, I had no one. So I did more drugs, and when I got caught, I did more time in juvie. It was an endless cycle. I was trying to buy Molly the night of the murder.”

Is that why he came here? To tell me about why Slade did it?

“My brother mentioned that you have a child together?” Jake says.

I nod.

“And you kept that child a secret from him because you’re worried he’s dangerous?”

I nod again.

Jake takes a deep breath. “Slade doesn’t know I’m here. He wouldn’t want me to tell you any of this. But you need to know that my brother is the kindest, sweetest guy you’ll ever meet. He’d do anything for me, Quin. Even go to jail for something he didn’t do.”

My stomach drops. Is he saying what I think he’s saying?

“Do you mean the murder?” I ask.

He stares at me for a long time before turning his head away. “What do you think, Quin? The victim was human and small for an alpha. Would a guy like my brother need to stab him to protect me? It makes a lot more sense for a young omega who was pinned to the ground and fighting for his life to use a weapon, doesn’t it?”

My mind reels as I try to process what Jake is saying. I remember how shocked I was when I found out Slade had killed someone. It didn’t seem in line with his character. I’ve spent the last six years questioning my own judgement because of how wrong I was about him.

But what if I was never wrong?

“His name was Chad Avery,” Jake says softly. “I think about him sometimes—wonder what I could have done differently. I have nightmares of thrashing underneath him and the warmth of his blood on my fingers. The knife was his. I don’t think I was the first omega he threatened with it, and I don’t think I would have been the last, had he walked away.”

Jake’s fingers tremble as he grabs for the edge of the table and stands up. I stand with him, not sure what to say. I’ve never experienced something so horrific. I can understand Slade’s decision now. He arrived to see his brother and a dead body. He knew someone would have to pay for what happened, so he did the time.

He was never dangerous, he just loved his little brother.

I almost reach out to Jake, but then I remember how jumpy he was earlier. A hug from me probably won’t be any comfort.

“Thank you for coming,” I say, instead.

“I swear to you that your little girl is safe with Slade.” He offers me a sad smile. “Until I met my mate, the only time I ever felt safe was when I was with my brother.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. It has a phone number and an address printed in blue ink.

“This is Slade's new number, and that’s our address. You’re welcome to come by anytime.”

It feels like he’s handing me a ticket to a different life—one where I could have a mate, a sex life, and more children. But more importantly, a life where I could have Slade.

It all seems too good to be true.

I think Jake is being honest, though. Maybe it’s the tremble in his fingers or maybe it’s the way he said Chad Avery’s name, like the man was still living and breathing in his mind. I don’t know. All I know is I believe him.

Jake opens my front door and pauses on the porch. “If you’re ever interested, Chime has two uncles who’d love to meet her.” His voice is tentative and unsure. It reminds me a lot of that night six years ago when Slade told me he was no good for me.

It would seem insecurity runs in the family.

“I’d love that,” I say.

His lips quirk up on one side. His smile is similar to Slade’s too.

“Let me get some bread for you before you go.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t need to do that.”

“I want to. Just give me a second.” I rush back into the kitchen and grab the loaf of bread I hadn’t opened yet from the bakery. It’s French bread made with my omega mom’s recipe—the same French bread I used to take over to Slade’s house when we were in high school. I hand it to Jake. “Congrats on your cub, by the way. Maybe your child could use an extra uncle, too?”

Tears well in his eyes. “Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll be in touch?”

He smiles and carries the loaf of bread back to his car.