34

Rae

February 7th, 2020

We hadn’t been at the club an hour and Viv was already drunk. She had no idea what time it was, which was great for me. I didn’t need her whining about us leaving ‘so early’ right now, I just wanted to get her back to her place without incident so I could talk to her before she passed out.

I managed to get her in the car and driving back to her place, glancing in the rearview to see Jack’s car not far behind.

No, I didn’t need backup, but it felt nice knowing he was right there.

I glanced over at Viv who had her forehead pressed against the chilling window a smile on her face, her hot breath fogging the glass. “How are you?” I asked, slightly worried that she had hit the alcohol way too fast.

I never realized before how much she drank in such a short amount of time. All of those nights we went to the club, how long had we actually stayed? It always felt like so long dancing and drinking, but maybe this is what it had always been. An hour going hard and then regretting every second in the morning.

“I bet that guy had a huge cock.”

I offered a small smile and turned back to the road. “He seemed to really like you.”

“No,” she snorted. “The guy from the bar who was clearly into you. Too bad you got that ring,” she mumbled, glancing to my left hand. “He would have been a great lay.”

“You have no idea.”

“Yeah, well, call me faithful.” I glanced over, taking her in, my heart picking up. God, why was I taking advice from Azrael? Jack was right, he was certifiably psychotic. How did Malachi even handle him on a daily basis? My mom never would have allowed us to work with someone like him. Too unpredictable, too unreliable. He may be good but being chaotic like that only got you so far before you inevitably got yourself caught.

Even so, his advice seemed partially sound. Sound enough.

I turned back to the road. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” she said, falling back in her seat, “But I can’t promise a good answer. I am trashed.”

I laughed easily. “That’s okay.” I shouldn’t have felt nervous. I really shouldn’t, but I guess I could only be deprogrammed so much. I wondered if I would ever fully be ‘Charlotte Alascer’ again.

I adjusted the grip on my steering wheel and released a breath. I couldn’t think about that. I would never be that girl again, but I would never be the Rae Bennett Jack met either. I had to be something new. Something unknown to even me at this point. “Why did you insert yourself into my life, Beth?” I asked evenly, allowing enough warmth into my words to hopefully keep her willing to answer the questions.

She was quiet so long that I had to look over to make sure she hadn’t passed out yet. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was the death of her parents that had caused this. The drinking, the partying. She had no one left in the world, that alone could drive a person into madness.

She only stared out the window, her blinks heavy, her lips parted. What was going through her head? Was anything? Had I waited too long to talk to her?

She swallowed and her eyes fell to her hands. “When did you find out?” she finally asked, her voice thick.

My heart skipped a beat. “Part way through January,” I answered, shivering when I remembered the week and a half I had spent in the basement of the cathedral. “I tried to deprogram myself.”

She looked out the window, picking at her nails. “I should have told you,” she finally said, “but I wasn’t sure how deep it went. It was your mom who taught me that there are layers to programming. Failsafes to ensure that the programming remains. I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk losing you too.”

My brows pulled together at her confession, and I looked over. “You…you weren’t involved?”

She looked over, her eyes filled with hurt, red with tears. “No. I ran into you one day one the street and you started talking about High School. It was as if he couldn’t erase me from your mind, so he replaced it with something else. Viv was the name he gave me, so I had to keep it. You started going on about your mom and your half-brother. I knew something was wrong so I played along until I could put the pieces together. It didn’t take me long to figure out what had happened.”

Viv shrugged and turned back to her window. “I adapted, just like I was taught.”

I watched her for a long time before turning back to the windshield just as I turned onto her street. “You were trying to protect me,” I whispered to myself. Of course. We had been friends. In this kind of world, there weren’t many people you could keep as a real friend. Beth had been it for me. Our friendship had been real. Of course it had. I felt ashamed for doubting it, but in a world like this? People turned every single day. Beth had lost her parents, us, as far as she knew. She could have gone the other way, joined my dad, his bosses, if she wanted another family, but she stayed because she was loyal. Because she cared.

“That’s what we do in this world,” she said with a shrug. “We protect each other.”

I adjusted my grip on the wheel, my throat closing from emotion. “Did you find anything out?” Fuck. I messed up.

Her head fell against the window with a thunk. “Just that your dad killed my parents and then decided to play with you. He’s a bad man. I can’t believe Marla never saw it. That none of us did.”

Yeah, I was starting to wonder how we were all so goddamn blind. “I didn’t know he killed your parents. I am so sorry.”

She shrugged. “It happened a long time ago.”

Still, she had trusted my family and we betrayed her. He did.

Had he always been like this? So…evil? Or had something changed. It couldn’t have all been because of the affair, it had to be something else. Something deeper. Maybe his new bosses had showed him how good it felt to draw blood. Maybe he had always been capable of it. Weak willed, willing to follow whoever seemed the strongest.

I pulled up in front of her house and shut off the car. “I’m going to fix this, Beth, I promise. I’ll fix this.”

She smiled softly, her eyes closed. “That’s what you are, Char, you’re a fixer.”

Seconds later, she was snoring.

I released a breath, turning back to the windshield as I fell into my seat. My dad had killed her parents just before mom had put me in that program. A few months before. Maybe mom knew that. Maybe the person she was trying to train me to fight against was my own father. Did she know who it was he was working for? Did she know anything about it?

After another few seconds, I released a breath and got out of the car, looking over to find Jack leaning against his own, hands in his pockets, his eyes steady.

I gave him a nod and walked over to Beth’s side. With ease, I pulled her into my arms, Jack meeting me at her front door so I could get her to bed.

“What is her part in this?” Jack finally asked when we left the house, locking the door behind us.

I felt such anger fill me as we headed for his car. “She was trying to protect me. She was trying to figure out how to fix me without destroying me in the process.”

“I’m sorry, Rae.”

I shook my head, feeling the anger roll under my skin. “Don’t be. It’s time we return the favor.” I looked over. “He killed her parents too. It wasn’t an accident. It was murder.”

Jack’s eyes hardened. “As if I needed another reason to put a bullet in his head.” He opened the door for me and helped me in. “We’ll fix this, Princess, I promise.”

Yeah, we would. If I had to die to put this motherfucker in his place, then so be it. So long as Charles Alascer no longer walked this world, I would rest in peace.

I took out my earrings, finding my eyes in the reflection of the bathroom mirror.

I still looked exactly how I had before I left the house. I almost felt unfulfilled with how little effort it had taken this evening, but what should I have expected? Azrael was right. I built it up into this thing when all it had been was questioning a friend.

I was more annoyed at myself than anything else, and I could clearly see the annoyance grow as my lips curved down.

I took my bracelets off and set them down with a clatter.

I exchanged the ponytail for a high bun and turned on the water, going through the tedious process of washing my face. When I finally straightened, Jack was standing a few feet away, one of our towels in hand.

I found his eyes for half a second before taking the towel and patting my skin dry.

“You okay?”

I tossed the towel to the counter and stalked out of the room. “I’m annoyed,” I answered truthfully. “You tortured me into remembering Charlote Alascer but I’m still weak like Rae.”

“Rae was never weak.”

I rolled my eyes and sat on the bed, reaching for my heels. “Rae posted on social media. Rae was careless in who she talked to, interacted with. Rae allowed Max into her life and accepted her role as Ms. Elite without question.” I found his eyes. “She was weak.”

Jack came to a stop in front of me. “Rae did her job. Your job.”

I set my heel down and sat back. “She gets nervous when readying herself to speak to someone about something important. Charlotte never would have allowed that.”

Jack studied me carefully. “Were you nervous because you were scared or were you nervous because you didn’t want to lose something important?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I’m on the side that keeps you from second-guessing yourself just because Azrael got in your head.”

I scoffed and reached for my other heel. “Azrael didn’t get in my head.”

“He gets in everyone’s head. Even Malachi’s. You had to consider everything, Princess. If Viv was working for your dad or going after you for revenge, those were important things to think about. You waited until you knew Viv was drunk enough to answer your questions and not call anyone if she was working with someone. It was a smart move.”

I set my other heel down and found his eyes. “Charlotte would have drugged her, strapped her to a chair, and forced the answers out of her.”

Jack smiled softly. “While that would have been fun, it also would have been counterproductive. Malachi was right, but I think the implications he gave were far from that.”

I searched his eyes, leaning back on the bed. “Why would he imply that she was bad? What was that about?”

He shrugged, his eyes darkening. “I don’t know. I think he and Azrael know more than they will ever say and while that is usually the name of the game, in this case?”

I could see the anger rolling over his shoulders. I wondered exactly how betrayed he felt by Malachi’s silence. By all of the secrets he had been keeping about me. This job was all about secrets, but from what I understood of the Claim, once that was made, everything about the claimed was supposed to be known to the brother or sister who made the claim.

After Jack told Malachi that he was going to claim me as his, Malachi was obligated to share everything he knew about me.

In most cases, nobody would know anything about the claimed. Why would they? We were just some girl or guy the Initiates or the Shadows picked out of the blue, but in this case?

Malachi should have come clean.

I wondered how deeply this would affect Zo and Jack’s relationship with him. “What do you think is in that storage locker?”

He shrugged again. “You don’t remember?”

I folded one knee over the other. “I remember my mom saying something about gifts. Sometimes important. She was all about contingency plans, so maybe it has to do with my old life. Why would Malachi say he was going to check it and then not?”

His eyes softened ever so slightly. “I don’t know. I think this time is different. His secrets, the way he’s been acting. Something shifted. Maybe he really did love your mom. Maybe he knows where Marla is and they’re talking about what their next steps should be.”

I chewed on my bottom lip for half a second before releasing it. “Maybe,” I agreed. Mom and I were partners, but that didn’t mean we didn’t have separate lives. If she was in love with Malachi, good for her, but why stay away for this long? Did she truly have no idea what dad had done to me? And if Malachi was talking to her even now, did she know about Jack?

My eyes lifted back to his, taking their time as they crawled up his body.

His jacket was gone, his vest discarded, his tie loose on his neck, and the top few buttons of his shirt undone. God, he looked good.

When my eyes finally found his, I could see the desire in them. Clear and unabashed. I swallowed, my tongue going dry. I wanted him so terribly. This was the longest we had gone without sex since meeting.

My thighs tightened together, and I leaned back on one hand. “Are you capable of gentle?” That’s what I needed. I needed him to be gentle. To remind me that his touch was safe even though I knew it deep down in my soul, I needed him to remind my skin.

His nostrils flared as if he had just caught the scent of blood. “I can go slow,” he answered already walking forward.

I unfolded my legs on instinct and started slowly backing my way onto the bed, the pain in those still healing cuts shooting down my spine, but they did little to detour me from the completely ravenous look filling Jack’s eyes.

He crawled onto the bed slowly as I laid down in the center and watched him, my heart racing, my pussy throbbing.

He slowly slid his right hand over my foot, my ankle, just that warm touch alone causing my head to fall back and my eyes to close.

Focus. It’s just Jack. Jack Ashrin, my soon-to-be husband. The man I loved.

His hand trailed up my leg as he made his way over me, sending shivers across my skin, hardening my nipples. He edged that leg up, my other following until they rested on either side of him, my dress pushed up to my hips, his pants grazing against the skin of my inner thighs.

My eyes opened to find his staring right back at me as if he knew I would need some sort of anchor just in case those memories started creeping their way in.

He slid his hand down my inner thigh slowly until his fingers grazed over the thin fabric of my thong causing my breath to catch and my back to arch like the hungry whore I was.

Jack slowly pushed it aside, running a finger up the center of me. “What a good girl you are,” he murmured when he found just how wet I was.

I swallowed, falling back into the bed, finding his eyes.

His were all black now, his expression filled with lust. “My beautiful, perfect Princess,” he hummed and slid two fingers in.

I groaned, bucking my hips against his hand, and he allowed it. He didn’t restrain me as my hands dug into the blankets and my body lurched towards his. He didn’t order me to lay still as he shoved another finger in and picked up his pace. He just watched me. Watched how I reacted to him as he worked me up, changing the motion of his fingers to hit that sweet spot gently as if he wanted me to orgasm slowly.

I whimpered as I bucked my hips against his hand, pushing myself up onto my toes, trying to get closer when I found his eyes again. “Jack,” I pleaded.

His throat bobbed, a muscle in his jaw feathering at the sound of his name on my lips. “Yes?”

I was panting. He was keeping me at the same level. Not moving forward to push me over the edge, but not easing the life-altering torture. “Come here,” I demanded, releasing the blankets and holding open my arms. “Please. Come here.”

He studied me carefully before he finally lowered himself down to me, keeping one hand inside of me while the other slid above my head.

He hovered with ease above me, his eyes burning.

I slid my hands over the sides of his face back into his hair. Jack didn’t hurt me just to hurt me. It was always a means to an end. A good end. One that benefited me. One that I had asked for.

He was good.

He didn’t ruin me. He didn’t shatter me apart and leave me to die. He built me up, even when I was nothing more than a civilian. Nothing more than a liability that he had to teach.

Jack shoved his fingers in again and twisted them.

My nails dug into his scalp as I brought my head to his, breathing in his air, breathing in his life.

He didn’t stop going until he brought me to the end. The slow build up making for one of the best orgasms I had ever had. One I felt in my soul. A high I would chase until the end of my days.

As soon as he pulled his fingers out, I released his head and fell back into the bed, reaching down to unbuckle his pants, pull him out.

He watched me steadily, making no move to stop me, to push me, to do anything. He was taking it slow just like I asked.

I lifted my hips and guided him to me, feeling his hard cock pulse in my hand, feeling the tip of him press against my entrance.

I found his eyes again, gaping, whimpering, when he slowly slid into me. “Oh fuck,” I panted, grabbing onto his neck. “God, I missed this.”

“Look at me when I fuck you, Princess,” he hummed.

My eyes lifted to his just as one of his hands wrapped around my throat and pressed me into the mattress.

I groaned, tears springing to my eyes.

“Never again,” he threatened and slammed into me.

Never again would he wait. Never again would he sacrifice this for me. I was his toy. Him giving me that time was a luxury I wouldn’t get again, and I was fine with that. More than fine. It had been too long and while I had needed it, I needed this more.

He worked his hips slowly, angling his legs to lift my hips up, giving him a better angle, causing me to cry out when the piercing at the end of his cock hit that all too sensitive part of me with each thrust.

He kept up the slow, sensual fucking for as long as he could before he couldn’t help it anymore. His fingers dug into my neck as he slammed into me as deep as he could. I couldn’t breathe, spots dancing in front of my eyes, but I didn’t dare look away. I kept my eyes locked on his until that orgasm tore through me and then him.

And then I looked at him until he forced another one from me, until my eyes grew too heavy to keep watching him, until I finally drifted off to sleep and dreamed of his eyes watching me from behind that mask at the carnival when my life had changed forever.