Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Alexander knew he should have been quicker. On entering the room with Gregory, he had looked around him for Juliette, spotting her entering the room from the terrace. She had looked very pretty, dressed in a peacock blue ball gown and matching shawl, with a diamond tiara on her head. But it had been Nicholas who had reached her first, and if Alexander had had any hope of seeing Juliette’s feeling had changed, that hope was now dashed.

He had watched as they had danced, laughing and smiling at one another as they had whirled and twirled across the tight confines of the ballroom. It was more like a glorified drawing room with the furniture pushed back. It had been agony to watch, and Alexander had finally torn himself away, making his excuses as he had hurried out of the room.

“Where are you going?” Gregory had said, and Alexander had made an excuse to take the air.

He had made his way out onto the terrace and down the steps to the garden, following the same path his gaze had taken him on the day he had seen Juliette and Nicholas sharing a kiss by the shrubbery. The image of that terrible scene was imprinted on his mind, and now he could think only of the choice Juliette had made, and the fool he had made of himself.

“He was always her choice. I should’ve realized it sooner. I knew it, but I was blind. Oh… why didn’t I see it for myself?” he asked himself, feeling utterly stupid at having failed to see what was so plainly in front of him.

Juliette had agreed to the ruse – it had given her every advantage, and now she had achieved precisely what she had wanted to achieve, and all at Alexander’s expense. He should have been angry with her, but he could not bring himself to be so. Instead, he merely felt angry with himself for having been so foolish in the first place.

“I shouldn’t have fallen in love with her. That was my mistake. If I hadn’t allowed my feelings to get the better of me… I should’ve stayed a rake,” he told himself, shaking his head in despair.

He had reached the shrubbery now, and was standing by a small summer house, built beneath the branches of an ancient willow tree, its fronds hanging down almost to the ground.

For a moment, Alexander was reminded of the orangery where he had first met Juliette over a year ago, and opening the door, he stepped inside. It was warm there, the afternoon sun shining through the glass roof above, and though it was not filled with the same exotic scents and sights as the orangery at the home of the Rankins, Alexander found himself transported there, as though on the first night he and Juliette had met.

“Don’t be so foolish,” he said to himself, as now he paced up and down, wondering what to do next.

He had come to the party at Gregory’s invitation – how could he not have done. And then there would be the wedding, too. Gregory was his closest friend, and if he was to marry Emily – which he certainly was – there could be no escaping from the fact of Juliette’s presence in the future, too. Would he even be invited to her and Nicholas’ wedding?

The thought of it made his blood run cold – to see her pronounce her vows to a man who had considered her second best. Alexander found himself despising Nicholas – he was nothing but a coward, too worried about his own reputation to refuse Lavinia, and willing to break Juliette’s heart, too, only to come crawling back to her when he found himself in need of a wife.

“But she’s the one who said yes,” Alexander thought to himself.

He could not bear to imagine what had passed between them. Were they laughing at him? Had Juliette told Nicholas of the ruse, and how she had used Alexander as a ploy to get him back. He tried not to think about it, but his mind was filled with a hundred possibilities, each more awful than the last. Behind the smile Juliette had given him, Alexander felt certain there was mockery, too. And yet, despite everything, he still loved her.

“And I’ll go on loving her. How can I not?” he asked himself, as he sat dejectedly on one of the chairs in the summerhouse, wondering what to do next.

It would be churlish not to return to the party. Gregory would wonder where he was, but the thought of seeing Juliette with Nicholas was enough to prevent Alexander from doing so immediately. He held back, not wanting to see what he inevitably had to see, and fearing all that was to come. What would his mother say? The twins would be disappointed – they had liked Juliette, and she had liked them, too.

“Oh, why did I bother? It all seemed so easy,” Alexander thought to himself, and he was so lost in his thoughts he did not see the figure approaching the garden, and it was only when the door of the summerhouse opened, he looked up with a start.

“I’ve been looking for you,” Juliette said, closing the door behind her.

***

The summerhouse had been the last place Juliette had thought to look, but having exhausted all other possibilities, she had stepped out into the garden, spotting Alexander through the hanging branches of the willow tree. At first, she had held back, but something inside her had urged her on, and as she had stepped into the summerhouse, Alexander had looked up at her in surprise.

“Juliette… is something wrong?” Alexander asked as Juliette closed the door behind her.

She shook her head and smiled at him.

“No. I just… wanted to talk to you, that’s all,” she replied, and he looked at her curiously.

“You wanted to talk to me? But why?” he asked, as though it was a curious request.

“I thought perhaps you might be hiding from me,” she said, and he sighed.

“I suppose I was. Seeing you and Nicholas together… well, I suppose that’s it, isn’t it? Don’t worry, though. It doesn’t matter. I’m just being foolish. Really, I am,” he said, as Juliette looked at him curiously.

It was the first time he had expressed any emotion at seeing her and Nicholas together. In the past, he had seemed to brush the idea of it away or make light of the fact this was what she wanted, even as she had tried to explain it was not.

“It was just one dance,” Juliette replied, and now it was Alexander’s turn to look at her curiously.

“But there’ll be more, won’t there? Lots more. You’re betrothed to be married. He’s the man you’ll dance with for the rest of your life. There’s no getting away from that, is there?” he replied.

Juliette was astonished, and now she shook her head, realizing what he must have assumed, and knowing just how much it must have hurt him.

“Oh, but that’s not true. We’re not betrothed. I refused him. He wanted us to get married, but I told him no. I don’t want to marry him, Alexander. I told you that,” Juliette said.

She wanted him to know the truth – that she did not love Nicholas, and that she certainly had no intention of marrying him, either. It seemed Alexander had misunderstood, or rather, he had assumed far more than was the case.

“But I saw you kiss him,” Alexander exclaimed, and Juliette blushed.

“Did you? But… no, you saw him kiss me – and when did you see that?” she asked, taken aback by the fact he even knew about what had passed between her and Nicholas at the bottom of the garden.

Alexander, too, blushed, and he pointed out of the summerhouse window.

“Out there, in the garden. I came to call on you the other day. I wanted to talk to you, but then I saw the two of you together. It broke my heart,” he said, turning away and shaking his head sadly.

At these words, Juliette’s heart skipped a beat – had he really just said what she thought he had said?

“But… do you mean it, Alexander? I didn’t think… oh, I’ve been so foolish,” Juliette exclaimed.

She had not known what she would say to Alexander, or what he would say to her, but to hear this – and to realize what he had come to believe was astonishing. Had she known he had seen the kiss between her and Nicholas, she would have gone to him at once, begging him not to reveal the secret. The fact he had not done – that he had saved her from scandal – proved everything she had thought true of him.

“It broke my heart because of how I feel about you, Juliette. Because I love you. I know you don’t feel the same way about me. How could you, after all that’s passed? You don’t need to pretend. If you’re in love with Nicholas, so be it. But I had to tell you. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I simply couldn’t,” Alexander said, shaking his head as he looked at her with a pained and sorrowful expression on his face, as though he now expected rejection.

“It’s not true, Alexander,” Juliette replied, as tears welled up in her eyes.

“But I know it’s true. It’s been true all along. I’ve held back…” he said, but Juliette interrupted him.

“No… it’s not true. I’m in love with Nicholas. It’s you I’m in love with. But I thought you couldn’t possibly love me in return – not after everything that’s happened. You even said so yourself – you broke off our ruse, and for what?” she asked, as now he stared at her in astonishment.

“Because I thought it was what you wanted, Juliette. I thought you wanted to be with him – with Nicholas,” Alexander exclaimed, and Juliette shook her head.

“No… I never, well… at first, perhaps I did. But then… a lot changed,” she said, smiling at her, as he gazed back at her with a look of disbelief in his eyes.

“Please, Juliette. Tell me you’re not leading me on. I couldn’t bear to be a laughingstock – or worse, don’t take pity on me,” he said, but Juliette was neither leading him on nor taking pity on him.

There was no question of her feelings towards him – she was in love with him. When it had happened, Juliette was not entirely sure. But there was no longer any doubt in her mind. This was love, and the more she thought about it, the more she wanted only to be with him, come what may.

“It’s not, Alexander. I promise you. It never was… well, at first, there was a ruse. It was the same for both of us, wasn’t it? But little by little, I realized it was more than a ruse – for me, at least.

But I didn’t know how you felt, and I was too scared of humiliation to ask. I know you must think I’m a terrible fool, but it’s true. I just didn’t know what to think or what to do. Please, don’t think ill of me,” she said, but Alexander now rose to his feet and came over to her, holding out his arms with a smile on his face.

“My darling Juliette, how could I ever think ill of you? I’ve loved you since… well, I don’t know. Perhaps even after the evening we spent together in the orangery. You’ve never been far from my thoughts. But do you know when I really knew?” he asked, and Juliette shook her head.

“Tell me,” she said, for her heart felt fit to burst, so happy was she to know his feelings were her own.

He blushed, laughing as he shook his head.

“In the pigsty,” he replied, and Juliette burst out laughing.

“Covered in mud? After being knocked over by a pig?” she exclaimed, and he nodded.

“That’s right – because… well, I couldn’t imagine any other woman doing the same. The fact you didn’t hold back – that was what made me realize I was truly in love with you,” he said, as now he embraced her, and she clung to him, overjoyed to think they had finally realized the happiness they both deserved.

Juliette had thought it lost – an impossibility there was no point in longing for. But fate had offered them one last chance, and now they had seized it, realizing their feelings for one another, and as Juliette looked up at Alexander, she could not have felt happier.

“And I’d do it again. I felt so happy in Norfolk – so free. I couldn’t imagine wanting anything more than we had – I don’t want anything more,” she said, and he smiled at her, stepping back and taking her by the hand.

“Then I have to ask you something, Juliette. I can’t hold back. I know we’re here to celebrate the wedding of Gregory and Emily, but that doesn’t mean the two of us… well, I want… Juliette, will you marry me?” he asked, dropping to one knee, and gazing up at Juliette with an imploring look on his face.

Juliette gasped, though she had no hesitation in her reply. It was what she had longed for, what she had dreamed of, and now she nodded, her eyes filling with tears as she spoke.

“Yes… I’ll marry you. A thousand times, yes. Oh, Alexander,” she exclaimed, as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

Alexander now rose to his feet and threw his arms around her for a second time.

“Oh, Juliette. You don’t know how happy you’ve made me. I love you with all my heart. I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing you with… oh, but it doesn’t matter now, does it? I love you, Juliette. That’s all that matters,” he said, clasping her hands in his as he stepped back from their embrace.

“And I love you too, Alexander,” she replied, knowing nothing else mattered but that.

For a few moments, they lingered in the summerhouse, enjoying the delights of their newly discovered romance. Juliette could not have felt happier, and as they returned to the house arm in arm, she wondered what the others would say when their happy news was announced.

“Well, we knew it was coming, didn’t we? There was never any question about it,” Juliette’s mother said, when the happy news was shared a short while later.

“Will father give his permission?” Juliette asked, for her father was away on business that day.

Her mother smiled.

“He will when he’s told to,” she replied.

Juliette glanced at Alexander and smiled. The news of one another’s feelings had been a revelation to them both, but not to those around them. The ruse had been played perfectly, and so convincingly as to make it seem entirely plausible. Everyone had believed the two of them were courting, and a proposal was the natural outcome of such a courtship.

Juliette could not have felt happier, and it seemed those around her shared the same sentiment, congratulating the couple on their betrothal. Nicholas had already left, and Juliette wondered what he would say when he learned the truth, even as she knew she should not concern herself with such thoughts. She was happy, and that was all that mattered.

“I’m so happy for you, Juliette,” Emily said, embracing Juliette after the announcement had been made.

“I’m sorry if we upstaged you,” Juliette said, for it was meant to be Emily’s party.

But her cousin only smiled and shook her head.

“Not at all. I couldn’t be happier. I really couldn’t. This is just what you wanted – it’s what we all wanted,” she said, and Juliette nodded, glancing over at Alexander, who appeared to be having much the same conversation with Gregory.

“It all worked out rather well in the end, didn’t it?” she said, and Emily nodded.

“I’d say it did. You spent long enough waiting,” she replied, and Juliette laughed.

That was certainly true, but now the wait was over, and she could look forward to the happiest of futures – married to the man whom she had fallen in love with, a man who loved her for who she was, and who would love her just as she loved him.