Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Fourteen years later …

She turned sideways, the flimsy piece of cloth she was using as a blanket sliding away from one side, exposing her back to the coldness of the attic. She flinched, quickly fixing her makeshift blanket to cover her once again from head to toe and tried to fall back asleep. Although, she knew it was a failed attempt.

The lone window in the entirely bare room was curtain-less, the early morning light filtering in through the translucent glass. She sighed, finally opening her eyes, knowing it was time to wake up anyway.

The house must still be asleep except for those in the servant quarters, who must be awake by now, already beginning to do their respective jobs.

She must get up as well.

Finally pushing away the cloth from over her body, Eliza sat straight on her rickety excuse of a bed, trying to shake sleep from her eyes.

She had not been able to sleep early last night, having been forced to stay up while Victoria was visiting a friend in a nearby estate for a house party from which she was bound to return late. Only once Victoria returned, and Eliza had made sure she needed nothing, would she be able to fall asleep.

Lara had constantly asked her to go to sleep, for she would see to Victoria, but Eliza could never agree to that proposition, knowing fully well how important Lara’s sleep was for her in old age.

Now that she was no longer a nanny as she had once been for Eliza, she was reduced to being a scullery maid and had to wake up early in the morning as well.

“I will not allow grief to consume me today,” Eliza whispered in the almost empty attic, which was now her bedroom, “I will try to be happy.”

She sat up straighter, preparing for her everyday ritual.

“Dear God, I must thank you for giving me shelter, food, and clothes to wear, even if they are just used clothes that Victoria no longer wants for herself. I must thank you for letting me have my own space and my own bedroom, even if it is in the attic. I must thank you for ensuring I am still with the company of all those who loved me once in this house and are still here to protect me, guide me, and keep me safe from Uncle Edgar and Aunty Beatrice. I must thank you for not filling my heart with bitterness or hatred and keeping my smile intact. Thank you, God. I can’t ask for anything more.”

She opened her eyes, a smile coming to her blush pink lips as she breathed in deeply. She knew how important it was for her to thank God daily, or else her circumstances would have thrown her into a fit of rage.

She could not afford for that to happen.

Not when she had no means to change her circumstances and no desire to leave the house, which belonged to her, even if it had been stolen away.

No. No. I cannot think about that. Not today.

Tears stung her eyes as she stood up, folding her blanket neatly as she remembered the past once more. Uncle Edgar had shifted into the Grafton Manor right after her parents’ death, and everything had gone downhill since.

Eliza had been reduced to the role of a servant in the house, everything that belonged to her snatched away.

Her room, clothes, jewellery, possessions, and everything she held dear were given to Victoria, Uncle Edgar’s daughter and similar in age to Eliza. She had been forced to move into the attic, her identity taken away from her. Despite being of noble blood, she no longer felt like a lady and had made peace with the fact that it was no longer her life.

Her life was this now.

For she was no longer Eliza. Even her name had been taken away from her as Uncle Edgar and Aunty Beatrice began to address her as Beth instead, ensuring her identity was erased in a way that no one even remembered she existed. That was all Eliza was now. A servant in a house that had once been her very own.

“Oh good God,” she sighed, realizing how late she already was, and quickly fixing her hair without the aid of a looking glass.

Once her light blonde waves were well secured in a braid, which she hoped looked half presentable, she raced downstairs straight towards the kitchen. Just as she had expected, this part of the house was already awake, and all the servants were at work.

“Good morning!” Eliza greeted the cook, Mrs Abouela, loudly, along with the kitchen maids helping her prepare breakfast. She quickly assumed her position in front of a burning stove, beginning to prepare tea and coffee for all the members of the house.

“Mornin’, Eliza,” Amelia greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, and Eliza smiled at her friend.

Eliza loved Amelia like a sister, the two of them growing closer after Amelia had started working at the house. She was the eldest of seven siblings and had a hefty amount of responsibilities over her head. Eliza loved the young woman’s courage, and they immediately became friends due to being closer in age.

However, despite their friendship, Eliza couldn’t help noticing how bitter Amelia was at times, the trauma of having a difficult childhood catching up to her. But Eliza could never hold it against her.

“Morning!”

“Are ye beginning to make the tea?” Amelia asked, and Eliza nodded, returning to work.

To her dismay, everyone preferred having their morning beverage differently, which only meant added work. All the other maids were terrified of getting it wrong, but Eliza had years of practice and knew she could simply not go wrong.

“I will see you later,” Amelia said, walking away, clearly rushing to complete her own set of chores.

Eliza smiled at her before returning her eyes to the kettle.

“Lady Eliza!” Lara’s voice in her ear forced her to turn around as the aged woman came inside the kitchen.

“You must not be calling me that, Lara,” Eliza whispered, hoping the other servants hadn’t heard Lara.

“To hell with it,” Lara snickered. “You will always be Lady Eliza to me no matter what that uncle of yours says.”

Eliza looked guiltily at the cooks and the maids, but they were completely oblivious to their conversation. Eliza herself did not wish to cross anyone from the house and cause trouble for herself and Lara since even Lara had been asked to start addressing her as Beth only.

She had learned very early on that acceptance was always the easiest thing, and the sooner you accepted things, the better it was for you.

“Let’s not begin any unnecessary arguments this early in the day,” Eliza joked, hoping for Lara to stay calm. Progressing age and the worsening condition of the house had turned her sour, and Eliza could not blame her. Most of the servants hated the conditions here since everyone in the house was absurdly cruel and harsh.

“You are right.” Lara nodded, standing beside her, “Did you have any breakfast yourself?”

“Not yet.”

“And you are standing here preparing tea for them instead,” Lara said disapprovingly.

“I will eat once I have served this. I would rather have some peace while eating and not have to hurry.”

Lara nodded as Eliza poured everyone’s beverage into separate cups and balanced them meticulously on a tray before leaving the kitchen.

Without wasting a single second, she quickly made her way towards the living room where, just as she had expected, her Uncle Edgar was already seated with his back towards Eliza as she entered.

She silently walked in front of him, picking up his sugarless cup of tea and placing it on the table. He looked away from the piece of parchment in his hand to pin Eliza with a look, but she did not say anything.

“Have you forgotten all your manners, girl?” he asked, his voice thundering unnecessarily. Eliza knew he only raised his voice to achieve dominance over those below him, but it had stopped affecting her quite some time ago. She could hardly care any longer.

“Pardon?”

“I do not remember you wishing me a good morning.”

If she could roll her eyes right now, she would. However, she refrained for the sake of avoiding unnecessary drama and only angering him for no reason at this early hour.

“You were busy reading your letter, and I did not wish to be the reason your focus was broken. I do apologize. Good morning, Uncle Edgar.”

He nodded, not replying to her greeting.

“About the letter, it’s from Beatrice.”

Eliza hoped with all her heart for the letter not to say that she was returning soon because out of everyone, she was the absolute worst person to be present in the house. She had been away in London for three weeks now, and everything had been much more peaceful.

“I hope she is doing well.”

“She is.” Uncle Edgar nodded, “She wishes us all to head to London at once because she is planning to co-host a masquerade ball with her friends.”

Eliza kept her expression neutral, already knowing what followed this revelation.

“I want you to make sure everyone is ready for travelling in two days’ time and their luggage is packed. If anyone requires or needs anything, you will look into it personally, and you will be coming too, of course.”

Oh God. Why me?

“I will make sure everything is right. You mustn’t worry.”

He nodded at her, his eyes returning to the letter, and Eliza took it as her sign to leave. She slipped out of the living room and went upstairs towards Henry’s bedchamber, already wanting to puke at the thought of seeing his face. It was true she did not like any of her cousins, but her hatred for Henry was due to the terrible person he was.

On top of being dishonest and immoral, he was also a rake who had no respect for her or any woman at all. He had never been kind to her and only brought her extended misery. Despite that, he had demanded only Eliza be the one to bring him his morning coffee, getting extremely angry if someone else dared to step into his bedchamber.

She knocked softly, and Henry’s valet opened the door for her. He was standing in front of the looking glass, staring into his reflection, but upon seeing Eliza, he turned around, a leering smile on his lips.

He had never been conventionally handsome, but to Eliza, he always only appeared ugly. She hated that he, too, had blond hair and blue eyes like her own, even if the shades were vastly different, but the mere fact that she was related to him was almost disgusting.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

His valet looked at Eliza at the comment, an apologetic smile on the face of the young man, but Eliza nodded at him to assure him she was alright.

“Good morning.”

She placed his steaming mug of hot coffee on the table in his bedchamber and began to turn around to leave, but he hopped forward to block her path. Eliza looked up at him, unsure what he was trying to achieve.

“You look exceptionally charming this morning,” he said, sighing dreamily and baring his teeth.

“My room does not have a looking glass, so I thank you for the observation,” Eliza said seriously, leaving no room for even the slightest hint of a smile.

“You can take my looking glass, and I can simply get another.” He shrugged, motioning towards the large mirror in his room.

“Why, thank you,” Eliza replied, trying to appear sarcastically grateful, “but I am not obsessed with staring at my reflection for hours. You can go ahead and keep it.”

Without letting him add another remark, she ducked from underneath his arm and hurried straight out of the bedchamber, not wanting to be in his presence even a minute longer. He made her hate men even though Eliza was hopeful that not all men were as awful as Henry Russel.

Thank God, she sighed, stepping out at last.

Eliza’s eyes fell on the several smaller pieces of mirrors on the wall, and she walked closer, staring at her broken reflection. To her surprise, the braid appeared rather presentable, her blonde hair shining as a streak of sunlight from the open window fell on them.

Her gaze fell on her pale skin, which almost looked untouched except for the beauty marks under her right eye and over her left cheek. She had never liked them, but everyone had always told her that the marks were signs of beauty.

Am I beautiful? She wasn’t certain.

Shaking all such thoughts away, she made her way forward and knocked softly on Victoria’s door. Her ladies’ maid opened it, moving away so Eliza could see the bed.

Just as she had expected, Victoria was still asleep, having returned rather late last night, and Eliza was almost grateful for not having to face her.

“I will take this,” her maid whispered, taking the cup of tea that belonged to Victoria from Eliza’s tray, which was only left with one more cup.

“Thank you,” Eliza replied gratefully.

The maid, Trina, smiled at Eliza before closing the door, and Eliza made her way towards Margaret’s bedchamber. As Eliza knocked, Margaret opened the door and invited her inside as always. Out of all the Russel children, Margaret was the only one who was kind to Eliza and far different from the rest of her family.

“Good morning, Beth,” she greeted Eliza with her assigned name as Eliza placed her cup of hot chocolate and biscuits on the table.

“Good morning, Margaret.”

Eliza knew the reason Margaret was different was that her family treated her like the runt of the litter. She had failed to adopt the blonde hair and blue eyes, the common feature in both Henry and Victoria. Instead, she had her father’s raven hair and grey eyes, making her look slightly different.

She was plainer and a little heavier than what was considered attractive by fashionable standards. Eliza had heard Beatrice constantly reprimand Margaret to eat less to lose the extra body fat.

It was both insensitive and jarring, especially coming from a mother. However, Eliza could see how weak Margaret really was, for she had never been able to stand against the cruelty of her parents and siblings.

“I hope you have a good day,” Margaret wished her as Eliza exited the bedchamber and returned to the kitchen.

At least she is kind to me.

Eliza shook her head, not wanting to derail her train of thought, and carried the empty tray back to the kitchen. Just as she had expected, breakfast had been served in the dining room and all the household servants were gathered in the kitchen, having their own breakfast.

Eliza smiled, seeing Ralph, who now worked as a stable hand at the house, his loyalty not allowing him to leave despite his advanced age.

“Beth!” Ralph called out to her, patting the chair beside him so she could come sit down.

Her heart always melted whenever she realized that no matter what, Ralph always saved a seat for her whenever they were all eating in the kitchen, and if Eliza were out working, he would even assemble her a plate.

Just as she had expected, a small plate filled with tea and biscuits was placed on top of the chair, and Eliza sat down, putting the plate on her lap.

“Oh Ralph, you do so much for me.” She smiled at him, taking a sip of her steaming, hot tea.

“Of course, Miss Eliza.” He was another person who refused to call her Beth whenever they were alone.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Eliza suddenly said, standing up from the chair and clearing her throat to gather everyone’s attention. All the other servants in the household both loved and respected her, and at least, here, Eliza always felt as if she was still home.

They all looked at her expectantly since mostly it was she who came bearing news.

“The family will be leaving for London a little earlier now since Lady Leicester is hosting a masquerade, and the family must be present for it. Hence, some of us will be going along with them. Everyone will probably be informed by tonight if they have to go, so be prepared,” Eliza said with a tilt of her head, noticing the glow in everyone’s gaze.

She knew what everyone was hoping for: to be the ones who were supposed to stay back.

I wish I could have been one of those, too.

“Are you going?” Ralph asked her, and Eliza nodded.

She sat back down, keeping her plate in her lap once again as she continued eating. She had not even realized how hungry she was, not even having eaten last night.

Everyone had been asking her to eat regularly since she was constantly losing weight, but she remained extremely busy with work around the house and mostly forgot.

If it had not been for Ralph and Lara, she would have fallen sick by now, and it was just the two of them taking care of her in whatever way they possibly could.

“Do you really believe Uncle Edgar will let me stay behind and have a few moments of peace for myself?” She sighed, not wanting to feel discontented.

Although, at times like these, it was a little too difficult.

“It is alright,” he replied, “I just hope I come along as well so you do not have to survive the London Season catastrophe all alone.”

“I hope so, too, Ralph.”

They continued having breakfast in silence, but all Eliza could think about was her dread of this upcoming trip. It was an awful thing to think about, but she knew the moment she stepped foot in London, all five members of the Russel family would only make her life even more miserable than they did in the countryside.

London meant balls and parties and constantly arriving guests. It meant excessive socializing, and the entire work for the household would fall on Eliza, with no one there to save or protect her.

Although, what other choice did she have? She had resigned herself to this fate and she must be brave in the face of it. She had endured worse, and this was simply another test.

I will be just fine.

She had to be. She said goodbye to Ralph and put the plate and cup away, leaving the kitchen, which was still in the midst of conversations between the other servants. She needed to escape to the attic for a little while because even though she was trying to be resilient in the face of every hardship, sometimes it felt too much.

She needed to escape somehow. She could not live this way forever.