Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

OCTAVIAN STUDIED SYD as they sat across from each other in the hired coach. They had made excellent time these past few days on their journey north and would reach Carlisle by this evening. Gretna Green was not far from Carlisle which meant they would soon cross over the border into Scotland and be married by tomorrow afternoon at the latest.

Blessed saints.

By this time tomorrow, he would be Syd's husband.

Of course, this assumed Syd was not going to have a change of heart and run away at the last moment. She had behaved like an angel throughout the journey, showing consideration and in general being charming. Their conversations were intelligent and often witty, but she also knew how to remain silent and lost in her own thoughts.

He could not have asked for a better travel companion.

Or a sweeter bed mate, which was something he had never experienced before. It was not his practice to spend entire nights with any woman. Nor was it his practice to merely sleep when in bed with a woman. Until Syd, having a woman in his bed was purely for the purpose of satisfying his manly urges.

Once done, he and the lady in question would exchange a few pleasantries, and then part ways.

He never brought women to his home, a cardinal rule that he never ignored.

However, he had brought Syd straight to his home without thinking twice about it on the night she had thrown him off the roof. He could have taken her to the residence of Lady Dayne or Lady Withnall or even to Leo and Marigold's home. Any of them would have protected her quite ably.

But no, he had acted on pure instinct and taken her home with him. He understood the reason for it, although he was not quite ready to accept that he wanted her with him for always.

Syd was a handful.

Headstrong and unpredictable.

And yet, he was ready to risk his heart in the hope of making a love match with her. Syd, who was usually the smartest person in the room, did not seem to grasp the situation.

Would she ever get over her own insecurities to understand he could not bear to be without her?

He did not think so, not yet anyway.

He studied the beautiful swirl and sparkle of her eyes that glistened like pale green crystals, and saw she was troubled once again.

What now?

She was holding something back, a new worry perhaps?

He feared to let down his guard when watching her. One lapse and he risked losing her, especially now that they were so close to their goal. "A few more hours until Carlisle, Syd."

She smiled, but her smile was strained. "And less than twenty-four hours until we are married. How do you feel, Octavian? Any second thoughts?"

"None at all. I feel just fine." He leaned forward and took her hand as they jounced along the uneven roadway in their carriage. "The more important question is, how do you feel about our marriage?"

"I am committed to our make-believe marriage, so you needn't worry that I will run away at the last moment. I can see the doubt in your eyes, but I give you my word of honor that I shall not run. Does this make you feel any better? I know you have been worried about me all along."

"It does ease my mind," he admitted, his tension ebbing now that she had assured him of this fact.

"I know you believe I break promises, but I do not." She glanced out the window. "The more urgent question is whether the impending rain will delay us. Will you look at those dark thunderclouds? They seem to be overtaking us fast."

He followed her gaze and frowned, for those thunderclouds were moving fast and now turning almost black. This meant a serious storm was about to unleash its fury upon them. "We'll be all right, even if we have to stop before reaching Carlisle. We can stay in Penrith tonight, if we must. It is only a few miles away, and we are already within a day's ride of Gretna Green."

In truth, it seemed likely they would have to find themselves a room at one of the nearby inns. There were several good ones up ahead and none would be filled to capacity since the summer hikers had returned to London weeks ago and it was too early for grouse hunting season to begin.

He glanced out the window again, seriously worried the storm was about to swallow them up. "Yes, we had better find shelter right away."

He knocked on the roof and told their driver to stop in Penrith. "Aye, Captain Thorne," the man said with obvious relief.

Syd appeared fretful, but she had to know this was their only choice. Their route traversed the Lake District, a place of majestic beauty and plentiful hills that would be impossible to cross when the ground turned to mud. Also, the roads around here were more isolated than in the south of England. If they broke a wheel on a particularly barren stretch, they might lose days from the time help arrived to the time the carriage was repaired.

Fortunately, their luck held. No more than a few raindrops had fallen by the time they reached the Penrith Inn and drew up in its courtyard. The jovial owner immediately hurried out to greet them. "Good to see you again, Captain Thorne."

"And you, Mr. Burton. May I introduce you to my wife?" He cast Syd a besotted look. "Married almost a week now."

"Newlyweds!" The man clapped his hands and immediately offered them a charming corner room with ample windows overlooking the front yard. Conveniently, it also overlooked the side yard where the inn's staff entered, and the nicely landscaped back garden.

Of course, Mr. Burton was giving them his best guest chamber because he believed they were newly married. But Octavian was pleased with the choice because it gave him a view of whoever came and went from the place, whether from the front entrance or the staff's kitchen entrance.

As the rain began to fall in earnest, he signed the Penrith Inn's guest register as he always did, Captain and Mrs. Thorne.

It amazed him how comfortable and right it felt to sign Syd in as his wife.

After he and Syd settled into their room, he left her there while he sought out the inn's ostler. Perhaps he was being overly concerned, but they had hit a few ruts along the way and he wanted the carriage wheels thoroughly checked.

"The last stretch of road was rough," he told the old man who had a weathered face, calloused hands, and obviously had a wealth of experience with horses and the carriages they drew. "Can you check this hired coach? We need to be on our way at first light tomorrow and I would not like any mishaps."

"At once, Captain Thorne. Never ye worry, this is one of the Carville coaches out of Oxford, isn't it?"

Octavian nodded.

"They're as sturdy as they come." As Octavian looked on, the man took several minutes to poke and prod each wheel and did the same for the carriage frame. "Ye needn't worry, Captain. As I said, she's built sturdy. Nothing wrong with those wheels or anything else."

This came as a great relief to Octavian, for they were so close to Scotland now and he did not want anything to delay their wedding day.

His only regret was that it would not be much of a ceremony for Syd. As for him, he did not care that it would be a five minute affair and then kicked out so another eloping couple could take their vows.

As for his brothers not being present, he knew they would understand. They were practical men and all of a similar mind about wedding ceremonies. These ceremonies were a mere formality. What mattered most were the years of marriage.

But Syd had that traditional side to her and might feel cheated.

He would find a way to make it up to her if it proved important. Of course, this assumed they would stay together.

"It is a nice room, don't you think so, Syd?" he asked, walking back into their chamber and coming to her side when he found her staring out the front window.

"Yes, quite comfortable and cozy." She turned to him and cast him a fragile smile that made his heart lurch.

"But you do not seem comfortable," he remarked. "What is troubling you?"

"Nothing, Octavian. Well, nothing new."

"Still worried that you are imposing on me?" It bothered him that she did not appreciate how lovely she was in every way. She had developed a huge chip on her shoulder due to being raised by an ineffective and often cold mother, and a selfish, wastrel of a father. Whatever doubts she felt about her own worth were only made worse by the snide comments and cruel slights she had endured once out in Society.

Her intelligence was regarded as a mark of insolence.

Her strength of character branded her as difficult and a troublemaker. Well, she certainly was a load of trouble.

But she made him feel more alive than he had ever felt, and he had led a fairly interesting and adventurous life. Syd had not traveled as extensively as he had, nor did she have much experience beyond her book learning.

Still, she held her own against him.

She challenged him constantly, but mostly in a good way.

In truth, she was an inspiration to him because she believed passionately about her causes and would not let the petty thinking of others dissuade her from doing what was right. Her knowledge of medicine was impressive and all of it self-taught because Society and her own family frowned upon her desire for a higher education.

This did not stop Syd from quietly working toward her goal.

Did she realize how much he admired her for overcoming those odds?

Or did she only notice when he rebuked her? He only did so when she was about to run into danger. Ah, well. In time, she might come to accept that he liked her fire and spirit. He had no intention of stifling her, but he was bloody well going to protect her.

He drew aside the curtain so that they could both look out with ease. It was not long before the gentle rain became a gushing torrent, and the courtyard turned into a sea of mud. "Goodness," Syd remarked, "that came on fast."

He grunted in agreement. "I hope it moves out fast, too."

She inhaled lightly. "Octavian, what if it doesn't? Will we ride on to Gretna Green anyway?"

"I don't know. Hopefully, we can. I'd like us to keep moving."

"Because you are worried that Sir Henry and my father will catch up to us? Let's hope they are days behind us still. I know you are eager to get the marriage over and done, but we mustn't act rashly."

Syd being the voice of reason?

That was a rare occurrence.

He arched an eyebrow. "I am not the one who ever acts…never mind. We'll see what tomorrow brings."

She harrumphed. "I know what you were about to say, and it is very mean of you. I do not ever act rashly. Well, only sometimes. Why are ladies thought of as impulsive and men who behave in the same way are deemed decisive and born leaders?"

Octavian avoided the question he preferred not to answer since it would only get him into deeper trouble.

Now, she looked insulted.

He did not blame her. "Are you hungry?" he asked, eager to change the topic of conversation. "Shall I order a meal brought to our room?"

She sighed. "Not yet. I don't have much of an appetite just now."

"Are you feeling all right?"

She looked up at him with big, worried eyes. "I don't know. It is all hitting me at once. I don't know what to think."

He wrapped his arms around her so that her back rested against his chest as they continued to watch the activity in the courtyard. Carriages were pulling up fast as the rain continued to intensify. His thoughts now turned to Sir Henry, hoping this deluge had slowed him down, too. The man was fierce and determined, especially when it came to claiming Syd as his prize.

Octavian had not been too worried about encountering him at any of the inns where they stayed. His real worry was about tomorrow and whether Sir Henry and Syd's father would be waiting to ambush them at the Gretna Green blacksmith shop. After all, that unsavory pair only needed to catch him and Syd before they married, and everyone knew Gretna Green was the first town across the Scottish border where they could accomplish this task.

Well, nothing to be done about it tonight.

But he would have to scout ahead tomorrow to make certain all was clear before he brought Syd there. They could move on to another village and take their vows further north, if necessary.

Syd's father was a bit of a dolt.

But Sir Henry was wily and dangerous when crossed.

He had to be furious by now.

It would not take Sir Henry longer than a day or two to piece together that she had run off to Scotland with him. He hoped the bounder did not have men already positioned in wait for them at every town along the border.

Octavian believed it unlikely but not altogether impossible.

Syd thought they were well ahead of Sir Henry, but a fast horse could cover more miles in a day than a coach.

Chances were slim that Sir Henry had brought along anyone other than Syd's father. Most of the men around him came from the meanest parts of London. These were ruffians who knew how to prowl the back alleyways and use a blade with skill, but most had never been on a horse.

Riding was a gentleman's sport.

He kept his demeanor casual because he did not wish to worry Syd needlessly.

In truth, she already looked as though something was bothering her. It wasn't the stupid comment he had just made about her rash behavior. No, something more serious was troubling her and had been for several days now.

He studied Syd as she moved to the bed and sat on the plump mattress with yet another sigh. But she wasn't reveling in the comfort of their surroundings. She was pensive and staring down at her hands. "What are you thinking about, Syd?"

A guilty look immediately sprang into her eyes. "Nothing."

Bollocks.

Was she still thinking of returning to her father and allowing herself to be pledged into indentured servitude with that arse, Sir Henry? He thought they had resolved this dispute days ago. And had she not assured him earlier today that she would not run off? He would never allow her to leave his side until he gave her the protection of his name. "Forget it, Syd," he said with a soft growl. "I know what you are thinking and it simply won't work."

Her eyes rounded in surprise. "How can you know what I am thinking?"

"Because your expression reveals everything."

"It does?" Her blush deepened and now spread to the tips of her ears. She moaned and buried her face in her hands when he frowned at her. "How can I ever look at you again? This is so humiliating."

"Why?" he asked, now confused because he did not think describing her decision to return to her father and an odious forced marriage to Sir Henry as humiliating. Well, it was a stupid decision. Upsetting and distasteful, for certain. But she was blushing so furiously, one would think he had accidentally walked in on her while she was naked.

"How can it not be humiliating?" she asked, sticking her head up for a moment before burying it in her hands once again. "Well, I suppose it is quite commonplace for you. But it is not at all for me. Please forget I said anything."

"No, Syd. I won't forget about it. We need to clear the air about this." He did not know what else to say because her response now left him even more confused.

What was commonplace?

She could not be talking about abduction or forced marriage.

She glanced up at him, obviously pained and struggling to maintain her composure. "I will not say another word about my idea. Obviously, I misunderstood your willingness. I thought men were not all that particular about the women they took to bed."

His heart shot into his throat. "To bed? For purposes other than sleeping?"

"Yes. What did you think I was talking about?"

What?

Had he just heard her right? She was asking to leap into bed with him for the purpose of…satisfying their carnal urges?

Syd was completely innocent and had no idea what was involved. However, he breathed a sigh of relief that she was not thinking about running back to London. This is what he'd feared most. But sex? He needed to proceed very carefully before he said or did something unforgivable. "Go on, Syd. Tell me what you have in mind."

"Why? Am I not obvious enough? I did not think you would care that I wanted you to teach me about these intimacies. What is so awful about us doing something more than merely sleeping together?" She groaned softly and continued. "We will be married tomorrow and I do not know what will happen afterward. What if you decide to send me back to London without you?"

Blessed saints.

He tried to form words, but they simply would not come to mind.

His unintentional silence only made things worse.

Syd looked like she wanted to melt into the furniture and never be seen by him again. "Octavian, why won't you say something? How is your refusal, and now your continued silence, anything but humiliating? So, let us forget I asked…well, I did not ask, but you saw the look on my face and knew my intention because you seem to know my mind better than I do."

Ha! That was surely a jest.

How had he gotten it so wrong?

He thought she intended to run away.

Gad, no wonder he was still a bachelor.

Syd looked so hurt, he knew he had to make it right immediately. He strode to the bed and sat beside her, taking her hands in his so that she could not hide her beautiful face in them. "Syd, look at me."

"No."

"You will make yourself dizzy if you stare down at your feet while we are talking to each other. I do not need you tossing up the remains of your afternoon meal in this confined space."

"But you saw…and you know…and you do not want me even for one night." She shuddered. "I am such an idiot."

"No, I assure you that I am the complete and utter idiot," he said with an ache to his voice, for a soft and vulnerable Syd wreaked havoc on his heart.

He could deal with the firebrand.

But the gentle Syd? She sent his protective instincts into spasms. He wanted to devour her and be with her forever. Having botched this conversation quite badly, he now had to make amends. Of course, he was never going to tell her that he hadn't a clue what she was really thinking. But he knew that he had misunderstood her intentions and inadvertently hurt her feelings.

He had to make it right, but was it wise to have the two of them get too close to each other while things were still so unsettled? What if something went wrong? He did not want to leave her heartsick. "Syd, all I meant is that we are in a delicate situation right now and I do not want to push you into doing anything that you might regret later. What makes you think I am not attracted to you? In fact, I think you are one of the loveliest women I know. The loveliest, actually."

She still would not look up at him, so he pressed on. "Even in sleep, I reached out for you. Is that not telling?"

"You said that you were afraid I was going to fall out of bed because you were taking up too much of it."

"That too, but mostly it was my need to hold onto you."

She gave a little snort. "Because even in sleep, you were afraid I was going to run away."

"No, Syd," he said with a low growl. "I thought I made it clear on our first night together that my reluctance to join you in the bed was because I wanted you more than was wise and might do something untoward while I slept."

"Which is why I thought you would not mind my willingness now. But it is so obviously distasteful to you. If you are worried that I might be in love with you, then let me assure you that my reason has nothing to do with love. I just did not want to spend my life never knowing how things could be between a man and a woman."

"And you think a big ox like me would be the perfect tutor? It is not my practice to despoil virgins, even irritating ones. If you want to know the possibilities, then let me make you my wife in truth."

Her eyes popped wide and she now stared up at him. "How did we go from a mere liaison to husband and wife in a real marriage? I thought we agreed it was only to be make-believe."

"We did, and for now it is. But if I am to bed you– and by bed you, I do not mean merely sleeping in the same bed– if I am to know you intimately, then honor demands that I protect you and keep you as my wife."

"Even if you decide later that you cannot abide me?"

"Yes, because I could never just toss you to the wolves and abandon you."

"But it would not be abandonment if we agreed upon it. And I know you will not leave me destitute. Not that I would be without means if I were permitted to work with Gory in the Huntsford Academy forensic laboratory. Would your brother allow this?"

"Ambrose?"

She nodded. "He is the duke and it is one of his holdings. I know he is generous with his workers and the pay would be sufficient to support me. Perhaps I would no longer be able to move about in the highest social circles, but what do I care about that? Adela, Gory, and I were always considered oddities. Everyone laughed at us."

"My brothers and I never did."

"Because you are decent and honorable men, which is exactly why I would only consider such a thing with you and no one else. Ack!" she cried as he suddenly lifted her onto his lap. "What are you doing?"

He tipped her face up so that she had to meet his gaze. "Stay still, Syd. Do not try to squirm away."

"But–"

"We'll finish this discussion with you in my arms, now that you have conveniently fallen into them."

"Ha! You hauled me onto your lap."

He nodded, but did not relent. "I am not letting go of you. If you want me in your bed, teaching you about love, then we are going to get some rules straight here and now."

"While I sit on your lap? You can spout your rules as I sit on the bed. Need I point out that you have already given me two rules?"

"Those do not count. They were rules of the road. These are to be rules of the bed."

She blushed. "Why must there always be rules with you? Is it your Royal Navy discipline? Or did you have a natural affinity for the navy because you were a little boy who thrived on rules?"

"I have no idea. It isn't relevant. My concern is about your heart. I know you will lose your heart to me once I claim you. And do not accuse me of being full of myself. I know that the act of love cannot be merely a learning experience for you. Syd, you think you are independent and forward thinking. But there is a gentler side to you and it is very traditional. When you give your body to me, it will also come with your heart."

She frowned at him. "I can control my heart."

He laughed. "Not even I, as stone cold as I can sometimes be, am able to control my own heart. Think about it, Syd. If I cannot do it– and I like to control everything– how are you, with your inexperience, to manage it? I assure you, my heart makes its own decisions. Yours will, too. I worry that it will cause you hurt."

"You needn't worry about me. I can take care of myself." She tried to get off his lap, but he was not finished with her yet and had no intention of letting her up. "Octavian, is this not the very reason we will constantly be fighting in our marriage? We are both too stubborn and controlling. This is why I am not trying to alter the agreement about our make-believe marriage. Our deal stands."

"But we now allow for exploration of each other's bodies? No expectation of commitment?" He shook his head and frowned. "I know you love studying your cadavers, but a living person is quite another matter. Shall I give you an example?"

"What sort of example?"

"Just a kiss. It is the safest thing I can think of at the moment."

"A safe, harmless kiss?" she muttered. "Well, that's all right then. Yes, please kiss me and allow me to prove you wrong."

He was going to kiss the slippers off this girl.

He was going to kiss her until her body turned to fire.

He was going to kiss her into forever.

Syd's curiosity was taking over her common sense. But this was Syd, her scientific mind eager to test everything. This had nothing to do with loving him to the point of desperation…not yet, anyway. But he was going to give it his best because he wanted this lovely girl to lose her heart to him by the time he was through with his kissing lesson.

"Stay on my lap, but turn your body slightly toward mine." He drew her up against him so that her breasts now pressed against his chest. He did this purposely because he wanted her to be aware of his body and her physical response to it.

Next, his arms came around her. But he made certain to hold her gently, using just enough strength to keep her from squirming out of his grasp. "If you change your mind, all you have to do is tell me to stop. I will not be angry or irritated."

She looked up at him with a stubborn tilt to her chin. "I am not going to change my mind, so stop treating me like a delicate flower."

He groaned. "You are entirely missing the point of this kiss. Of course I am going to treat you delicately and with loving respect. But I am also going to put heat and passion into the kiss, to have you so hot that you'll want to take your clothes off for me."

She gasped. "That is ridiculous."

"I'll have you so hot, you'll be ripping them off because you cannot work the ties and hooks fast enough." Yet throughout, he would remain watchful and know immediately if she had changed her mind and wanted him to release her. The point was to show her how good a true marriage with all its intimacy could be for them.

She was staring at his lips as he spoke, looking doubtful but not at all scared.

Good, for this meant she trusted him. "Close your eyes, Syd."

She let out a kittenish purr as she closed them.

This immediately raised the temperature within his own body, but he tried not to think of that. The kiss was for her sake, not for his. "Put your arms around my neck."

She made another little purring sound that might have been a soft grumble, but she did as he asked. "You are spouting rules again, Octavian."

"They are merely instructions to allow for a more fulfilling experience. I am not giving you rules about this kiss. In fact, there are no rules. Do as you please, respond as you please. Encourage me as you please."

"That sounds rather daring."

He smiled. "But that is you, Syd. A risk taker. A firebrand. An independent thinker. Shall we forget it? Do you want me to let you go?"

Her eyes popped wide so that all he saw were two big, beautifully green pools. "No."

"I thought not. Close your eyes and let me take the lead in this until you feel ready to take over."

It amazed him that every curve of hers felt so right pressed against him. Up close, her features appeared quite delicate. Softest pink lips and big, lively eyes that had so much going on behind them. Her skin was as smooth as porcelain and a slight blush stained her cheeks, reminding him that she was still innocent and he needed to take it slow with her.

But she was ready for more of a kiss than that first one he had given her on the night she tossed him off the roof. He angled his head so that his mouth could cover hers completely because he did not want her to talk or ask questions while he was seducing her.

He approached it as he would a naval battle, but he was not going in for the kill. He merely wanted her to surrender to him.

No halfway measures either.

Full surrender because it suddenly felt vitally important that Syd remain with him always. Yes, he might regret it by tomorrow.

He would worry about it then.

In truth, he knew there would be no regrets.

Syd was who he wanted as his wife.

He dipped his head and brought his lips down on the plump softness of hers with a determination that turned into something raw and possessive the moment she opened to allow him entrance.

He took her with his mouth in every way possible.

He would teach her tonight what other things he could do with his mouth and tongue.

Cad that he was, he wanted Syd howling with pleasure if she still wanted him to teach her about the act of love. But what he truly wanted was to teach her about actual love, about giving her heart to him and trusting that he would never break it.

His tongue now probed and tangled with hers, teasing and promising.

Syd responded with innocent vigor, not in the least hesitant to give back as good as she got. He should have known the impudent hoyden was never one to back down from a challenge. She clutched his shoulders and pushed her body more firmly against his, squirming against him as though she wanted to get inside of him…or allow him inside of her.

Blessed saints.

Was this not a good thing? She was never going to worry about anything naughty they did together because she trusted him with her heart.

He wished he could trust her as fully as she trusted him.

Syd, for all her good intentions, would ignore his opinions if she thought she was protecting him. Having relied only on herself for so long, she did not know how to work together with him as a team. Nothing and no one would stop her if she believed she was in the right.

The girl was stubborn, for certain. But what troubled him most was that she had a martyr streak and would not hesitate to sacrifice herself to keep him safe.

Would she ever accept that it was his duty to protect her, and not the other way around?

He deepened the kiss, wrapping her fully in his embrace so that he could feel the pillowy softness of her breasts against his chest and knew the moment she went beyond mere pleasure to arousal.

Perhaps it was not fair that he knew how to tease her and stroke her near those intimate spots on her body that would arouse her, but he was not yet going to actually touch her anywhere sensitive.

She strained and purred like a kitten, urging him to do more as his hands slid just below her breasts but never actually touched them. He then ran a hand along her leg, sliding his fingers upward to her thigh and stroking the inside of her thigh but going no further.

He felt her frustration, one that he had every intention of easing tonight.

But not here and now.

He wanted her to think about this kiss, to let it wreak havoc on her senses.

He wanted her to love him and make their time together a promise of forever.

"Syd, your turn," he said, his voice deep and raspy as he ended the kiss. "Take possession of me and do whatever you like."

Her eyes were gleaming.

Her lips were deliciously pink and slightly puffed because of the pressure of his lips on hers. "Will you remove your jacket for me?"

"No, clothes do not come off."

"Never?"

He grinned. "Oh, they will tonight. But not before we have our supper."

"All right, then I will wait until tonight to have my turn."

"As you please. Care to enlighten me as to what you are going to do?"

There was an impish gleam in her eyes as she said, "No, I prefer to keep it a surprise."

Oh, Lord.

He hated surprises.

Especially when they had to do with Syd.

She was a lot to handle even when he knew what she was doing.

Just how wild was she going to get?