Chapter 19

Larkin

Iwoke up with a start, sweat beading my brow, tears streaming down my cheeks. I clutched my shirt, my heart racing, a strangled gasp leaving me.

For a second, I didn't know where I was, still trapped in my dream. It had been a horror reel through my mind, starting off with happy memories, ones that made me feel warm and good and brought me back to the past where there were no tormentors or pain or sadness.

I closed my eyes tightly, squeezing them as I tightened my fingers around the shirt. I could feel my pulse beating so hard it was painful. I was vaguely aware of my name being called but it sounded like waves in my ears, rushing back and forth.

"Larkin."

I heard my name being called.

"Don't wander too far."

It was my mother's voice. I was little, ten years old and so full of curiosity that I knew it was hell on my parents because they had to constantly watch over me.

"Larkin."

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter as I pictured my sister. She was grinning at me from the front door, her finger to her mouth as she silently told me she wouldn't tell our mother that I was getting my new dress all dirty.

The reel changed in my mind. I was now a grown woman sitting around the table with my family. It was after my sister had passed. The sadness was a heavy weight surrounding us.

The scene flickered once more, years later.

I sat by the lake, my feet in the water. I felt the strength and power of the waves move through me. I could hear my mother and father in the meadow beside me, laughing, my father telling my mother how beautiful she was.

And then the last image that slammed into my head was the first time I met Odhran, when we were ripped away from each other.

"Larkin."

It was Odhran's voice now, surrounding me, a panicked tone that had me rushing back to the present, a cold sweat covering me. I turned my head and looked at him. We were in the bedroom. In bed. Together and safe.

His brows were pulled low, his eyes taking on a wild cast. He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling hard and fast.

"Tha mo ghion ort."He sounded so anguished as he pulled me into his arms. "I love ye with all my heart."

I wrapped my arms around his chest and screamed inside. I was frustrated and scared and hated this, not only for me but for Odhran too.

"I knew they were gone years ago. I knew this and had accepted it long ago. But to face that reality, to go back to my home, it tore open wounds that had been healed and scarred over."

He started murmuring in Gaelic and then switched to English. "I'm sorry I took ye there. I dinna know. I dinna know."

I was shaking my head, stopping him from going further.

I pulled back and looked into his face. He lifted his hand and ran his thumbs over my cheeks, wiping away the tears. "I needed to see that stuff, needed to see my childhood home. I needed that closure. Thank you for taking me."

And then he pulled me into his embrace, leaned back on the bed so I was now draped over his big body, and held me the rest of the night.