39. Asher

Lunch with Harvey was pretty good, although he kept getting distracted by girls walking past the table, and then when a brunette with blue eyes and rosebud lips took a seat beside me, he just outright ignored me. In the end, I left him to it. As much as I wanted to call Lani and check in, I had a class to get to, so I settled for a text.

She didn’t respond.

It niggled for reasons I can’t explain.

She had classes all afternoon, and she would have been busy concentrating, so I don’t know what my problem is.

I just hope she’s not suffering with bad period pain or anything. My mom used to get the worst periods. She’d sometimes be holed up in bed for a day with headaches and cramping.

Is Lani like that?

We’ve been dating long enough that she’s probably had one period already and I didn’t notice anything. Although, maybe some are good while others are heinous. I should ask. I want to know this stuff about her. I want to be the guy she can be herself around, even when she’s having a shitty day.

Concentrating on my afternoon classes turns into a mission, and I’m more than relieved when they’re over.

As much as I want to skip hockey practice and get straight to Lani, Coach will kick my ass if I’m not there. Thankfully, practices are light drills just to keep our fitness and skills up. We run through it efficiently and even have a few laughs when we end with a friendly game. I manage to get two past Baxter, who is silently fuming as we head to the showers. He never lets it show, but the clench of his jaw as he rips off his sweaty gear tells us enough.

“Don’t sweat it, Bax.” Casey slaps him on the shoulder with a grin. “Soon this place will be in your rearview mirror, and Mr. Second String over there will be hugging the post.” His smile is met with a marked frown as Baxter glances at Donovan, the guy he’s been helping to train up throughout the year, then shuffles off to the showers.

“Dude.” I shake my head at Casey.

“What? I was trying to make him feel better.” He flicks his arms wide, and I just shake my head again, snickering at his pathetic attempt. Ethan and Liam back me up, razzing him about how clueless he is.

Like any guy here wants to be reminded that they’re leaving the team and will soon be replaced by someone younger and potentially faster than they are.

I won’t admit this to Baxter in a hundred million years, but Donovan is already showing huge potential and will no doubt be a superior goalie to our steadfast Baxter Brown. We’re gonna miss the guy, but Donovan will make the loss easier to get over.

I rush through my shower and get dressed as fast as possible. I’m more than ready to go see my girl.

In case she’s sleeping, I text first, asking if I can come over.

I hear back before I reach my truck, but rather than a text, she’s calling me.

It’s not hard to answer with a smile. “Aloha, beautiful.”

“It’s over.” Her voice sounds rusty and raw, and I don’t know what she’s talking about.

With a confused frown, I jump into my truck and dump my bag on the passenger seat. “What’s over?”

“You and me.”

My insides go cold. “What?”

“I can’t do this anymore.” She sniffs. “It’s not working.” Her voice is going tight and rigid, her words clipping off at the ends.

What the hell is she doing?

Is someone holding a gun to her head or something?

She doesn’t want to say this shit to me, so I call her on it.

“Wait, wait, wait. You don’t want to do this.”

“I do.”

“I thought we were vibing. What’s happened? What’s changed?”

She goes quiet and I raise my eyebrows, a mix of emotions I can’t even identify crowding my chest. Gripping the wheel, I run my tongue over my bottom teeth, willing this panicky feeling away.

“I just…” She sighs, then sucks in a shaky breath. “I can’t be in a relationship right now. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just not in a good place, okay?”

“Lani, come on, you?—”

“I’m sorry.” She hangs up on me before I can say anything else.

Holding the phone away from me, I scowl at the screen and mutter, “What the fuck?” as I call her back.

She doesn’t answer.

So I try again.

It goes straight to voicemail.

I slap my phone down on the dashboard and shout, “What the actual fuck!”

Liam and Casey just happen to be walking past my truck, and they both jerk to a stop, blinking at me like I’ve lost my mind.

Well, I fucking have!

Slamming the wheel, I yell out a few more profanities until my door pops open and Liam calmly asks, “What’s up?”

“Lani just dumped me!” I spit, turning to my friends like they can somehow help me understand this shit.

But how can they possibly?

No one can because it’s fucking insane!

Yesterday, we were telling each other “I love you,” and today she can’t be in a relationship because she’s not in a good place? I know she can be unpredictable at times, but this is like fucking whiplash. She does not want to break up with me. I know she doesn’t, so why the fuck is she?

What did I do?

What changed?

“Did I pressure her?” I whisper. “Did I move too fast?”

I can feel my insides crumbling at Liam’s hopeless frown, but then I just happen to look Casey’s way, and his guilty face makes me snap.

Jumping out of my car, I step up to him, poking my finger into his chest as I try to read his mind. “You know why, don’t you?”

He shakes his head but then looks to the ground.

“Casey,” I growl. I was going for calm, but that is so far beyond me right now. “What’s going on?” I bark the question at him.

He shakes his head again and I let out a roar, fisting his shirt and swinging him around. Smashing him against my truck, I yell in his face, “Tell me!”

“Dude, calm down.” He shoves me away, but I rebound right back to him, fisting his shirt again.

“Don’t tell me to calm down! Now start talking, you fuckhead!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Liam tries to get between us, but I stick out my elbow, catching him in the throat. He coughs and splutters, backing away from me while another arm wraps tightly around my shoulders and hauls me back.

“What the fuck is your problem!” Ethan shouts in my ear. “Calm down! Right now!”

Liam rubs his throat with a sad frown while I look at Casey with… I don’t even know how the hell I look, but my struggle against Ethan’s hold on me loses some of its power, and there must be a desperate stench wafting off me, because all of a sudden, Casey shouts something that ends my world.

“It was Harvey!”

“What?” I snap.

Casey closes his eyes, looking sick as he scrubs a hand down his face and softly explains, “Harvey’s the guy from the party. The one who raped her. That’s why she’s breaking up with you.”

Even with his gentle tone, his words are bullets, hitting my flesh with a shocking pain that burns me.

“Harvey did fuckin’ what?” Ethan barks.

I slump against him, ignoring his question as his hold on me immediately loosens. He lets me lean against him for a second while I try to wrap my brain around this bullshit.

“You guys all right? What’s going on?” someone calls from the other side of the parking lot.

“None of your fucking business!” Ethan shouts, his tone a friendly warning.

“Whatever, dude!”

An engine starts and then another. Cars drive away, but we stay there—a circle of four shell-shocked guys trying to absorb this.

It can’t be true. I shake my head. It can’t be.

Casey sags against my truck with a heavy sigh. “She didn’t want me to tell you, but when she saw him today, she knew right away. It’s him.”

“No.” I keep shaking my head. “She said she didn’t know who it was and… and Harvey wouldn’t do something like that.”

“She was raped?” Liam whispers, his expression wounded. “When?”

“Back in February.” Casey winces. “It was at a party at the football frat…” He shakes his head.

My ears start buzzing as I picture the scene, Harvey’s face appearing in my mind as he spun Lani around and roughly entered her.

Snapping my eyes closed, I choke out the words, “No, it can’t be him.”

“She was puking in the bathroom, man. She was crying and screaming and having a breakdown.” His voice kind of shakes, like witnessing that was harrowing for him.

As much as that picture burns me, my stupid brain still can’t compute. “You’re lying. She had her period. She…” Agony rips through me like a sword blade. “He didn’t even recognize her. They hadn’t met before.”

“That might be genuine,” Liam murmurs, stepping into my line of sight. “Doesn’t he sleep around a lot?”

I close my eyes, fisting the back of my hair and fighting to contain the roar rattling inside me.

“This can’t be true. It can’t be?—”

“I’m sorry, man, but I think it is.” Casey’s voice is a low rumble.

“Oh shit,” Ethan murmurs, obviously still struggling to absorb all of this. “I don’t even know what to say. I mean, it’s?—”

“Shut up,” I rasp, my fingers curling into fists as I stumble to my truck and smash the hood. “Fuck!” I smash it again, one hit for each profane word. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuuuuccck!”

The guys stand around me, letting me lose my shit, quietly supporting me with their hands in their pockets and their heads hung low.

Their expressions tell me that the foreboding in my gut is probably right.

Lani’s telling the truth, and my cousin, the guy I’ve looked up to and loved for most of my life, is a fucking asshole.

“Shit.” I seethe the word, shoving Casey away from my door and jumping behind the wheel.

“Where are you going?” He tries to stop me, but I flick the lock before he can open the door.

Starting up the engine with a high rev, I screech away from them. They’re forced to step back so I don’t run them over. I’m being an asshole, but my brain’s on fire, and I can’t tell them where I’m going. Because I’m not exactly sure yet.

Do I pound on Lani’s door, asking for every detail?

Or do I track down my cousin and beat the shit out of him?