20. Asher

I stand with a jerk and race to the bathroom. Flipping up the toilet lid, I place Lani on the ground in the nick of time. She’s throwing up as she drops to her knees, hurling into the toilet bowl with these aching sobs that are killing me.

It’s torture watching her go through this. Hearing what that fucker did to her turned my insides to ash.

No wonder she kept pulling away from me.

Scooping her hair back, I hold it away from her face while she leans forward and heaves into the toilet again.

I grimace, aching for her, raging for her, wanting to smash my fist through the bathroom tiles, then leave this house on the manhunt of the century. I want to find that motherfucker and end him.

How dare he.

How dare he take a woman that way.

How dare he use Lani like she was his sex toy to do what he wanted with.

That fucker!

I want to kill him!

Lani lets out a shuddering groan, pulling my attention back to her.

“You done?” I ask gently.

“I think so,” she rasps. “I hate it when that happens.” She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, and I quickly stand to wet a washcloth for her.

She stays on the floor, leaning back against the bathtub. Ringing out the cloth, I hand it over, then stand there helplessly while she wipes her face down.

Once she’s done, I crouch in front of her again and ask, “What do you need?”

Licking her lips, she gives me a weak smile and whispers, “Clothes.”

“Do you want to go home? I can take you back to Huxley Hall if you?—”

“Is it okay if I stay?”

“Of course.” My voice has never been this tender before. Probably because I’ve never felt like this before.

I mean, I’m nice to girls. I treat them right. I’m a gentleman, but I’ve never felt like this before. Because I’ve never been with someone so vulnerable.

I like to play the shallow game. Keep it fun and light. Impress them, feed them fancy food, make them come—whatever they’re in the mood for.

But girls don’t open up to me like this.

Maybe because they figure I’m not deep enough. Maybe because I’ve never shown any of them who I really am.

But I showed Lani. I couldn’t help it. She drew me out without me even noticing.

And now she’s let me in.

And I will do fucking anything for her.

Scooping her back into my arms, I carry her to the bed, laying her down and rummaging in my drawers for the softest T-shirt I can find.

“Do you want your underwear or…?”

“Yeah, just the—” She points to her jeans, and I pull her bright orange panties out of them, grinning as I hand them over. “These are cute.”

She gives me a weak smile, putting them on while keeping the blanket wrapped around her. I pass over the T-shirt, then turn to give her some privacy.

“Thank you.” Her voice is wobbling again, and I spin back to check on her.

She’s crawling under my covers, looking at me with those big brown eyes.

“Can I join you? Not for sexy times, just… wanna hold ya.”

“Okay.” She smiles again, and this one has a little more strength.

I slip in beside her, stretching my arm out so she can snuggle against me. “Want to watch a movie or something?”

I figure she’s all talked out.

“I don’t know.” She shrugs, then lets out a shuddering sigh and wraps her arm around my waist.

I take charge, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV, which is mounted to the wall. I pull up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. If she’s seen it as many times as I have, she won’t have to put much effort into concentrating. That magical music starts to play, and I feel her relax against me.

Since we both know the movie so well, I talk over the dialogue, telling her all these inane facts about the movie and books. I’ve watched so many behind-the-scenes documentaries and read so many articles about this franchise, I am filled with useless facts.

She lets out soft murmurs and sounds of interest… until she goes really quiet.

Harry has only just arrived at Hogwarts when I finally move to check her face.

She’s asleep.

All that talking and crying must have really taken it out of her. I get it. I feel like I’ve been smashed by a freight train.

Hearing that shit was fucking hard.

Watching her throw up like that… seeing the effect that asshole has had on her… it was like taking a beating.

Rage rumbles through me again. It’s hot and overpowering. My brain torments me, playing out images of Lani on that bed. Did she cry while he finished? Did she try to fight back at first, and he just held her down so all she could do was take it?

I feel sick.

Bile burns my throat as I snap my eyes shut, begging the torturous images to leave me alone.

I need to move. I can’t be still in this bed right now.

Gently sliding Lani off my chest, I arrange her limp body against my pillows, lightly caressing her cheek with my knuckles, then brushing her hair off her face, before slipping out of the bed.

I’ll be back soon. I just need to…

I don’t know what the fuck I need to do. Punch a hole through a wall, maybe?

Stalking out the door and through my man cave, I walk into the main area and notice the TV playing. Rachel and Liam are snuggled up on the couch watching some rom-com while Ethan and Mick play chess at the dining table.

“That’s not how you—” Ethan dips his chin, letting out a frustrated grunt. “You can’t just move the pieces wherever you want. There are rules.”

“Boring rules.” Mick pulls a face.

“You were the one who wanted to play this.” His voice pitches as he points at the board.

“Could you two keep it down, please?” Liam calls over his shoulder. “Why don’t you just come watch with us?”

“Ugh.” Mick pokes out her tongue. “That girly shit? No way.”

“Oh, shut up, you.” Rachel laughs at her, throwing a piece of popcorn at the table.

Ethan plucks it out of the air, shoving it in his mouth. “Okay, fine, lil’ mouse, let’s play pool.” He gets up from the table and spots me hovering near the kitchen. “Hey, man. You good?” His eyebrows dip, his face puckering with confusion.

Shit. What do I look like right now?

I don’t know.

All I do know is that I can’t stand here taking in all this domestic bliss when there’s a girl in my bed who was sobbing against my chest less than an hour ago.

“Do you want to join?” Mick asks, her smile turning playful. “I’d happily take your money if you want to make this interesting.” Her eyebrows wiggle, and then she glances up at her boyfriend with an impish grin. “Or we could play darts. Ethan loves darts, don’t you, baby?”

He gives her a dry side-eye, crossing his arms with a warning growl.

She starts laughing like she’s hilarious, and I can’t take it.

She wants to bet on pool? She wants to play like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

What’s fucking normal?

Nothing, now.

My simple world is never going to be the same again.

“Nah, I’m good,” I mutter, stumbling away from them all and heading for the front door.

I just need a walk. Some fresh air. A place where I can yell at the sky and let out some of this… this blinding rage.

Shoving my sneakers on, I walk into the cool night air. The sun set while Lani was telling me her big secret. Seems appropriate somehow, you know? Like, how can there be light in a world filled with so much fucking darkness?

“Argh!” I shout, punching the air. “You fucker!” I scream to the sky, wishing that asshole was here so I could pummel him black and blue.

I let out another shout, my chest heaving as I lean over, bracing my hands on my knees.

“Uh… you okay?” someone softly asks behind me.

I spin around and spot Casey and Caroline standing on the path outside our house. Little Fezzik is on his lead, sniffing the grass around him. They’re holding hands and gaping at me like I’m a crazy person.

I dip my head, closing my eyes and not answering them. What the fuck can I say?

I’m not okay.

I’m torn up and shredded.

“What’s…?” Caroline approaches me with her hand held up, like she’s attempting to tame a wild dragon. “What’s up with you?”

I stand tall with a heavy sigh and take in her sweet expression. She’s worried about me, but I’m not the person she should be spending that kind of energy on.

Do I tell her?

It’s not my story to tell.

But as Lani’s best friend, shouldn’t she know?

My insides quake, and the second Caroline’s hand touches my arm, the words slip out. “It’s Lani.”

“What?” Caroline’s head tips back, fear stark on her face. “Is she okay?”

I shake my head and notice Caroline’s skin go even paler in the glow of the porch light.

“I mean, yes and no.” I wince. Scraping my fingers through my hair, I huff. “She’s in my room. She’s okay, but… she just told me something, and…” My throat constricts. “It’s not great.”

Caroline’s lips part. “What?”

I work my jaw to the side. “It’s not my place to tell you.”

“You’d better tell me something.” She hits my arm. “What did you do to her?”

“Nothing.” I shake my head. “I didn’t do anything to her.”

Caroline immediately picks up on my tone and goes still, studying my face. “Someone hurt her?” Her voice shakes. “She won’t tell me anything, but did she tell you? Do you know why she’s been acting so differently?”

“Yes,” I croak.

“And it’s bad?”

I clench my jaw and nod, finding it hard to swallow.

“What is it?” she shouts, slapping my arm again.

“It happened at a party,” I whisper, hoping she can read between the lines. “With a guy who… He wouldn’t stop.” I wince, hearing her voice in my head again. “I don’t know when it happened, but?—”

Caroline gasps. “I do.” Her blue eyes bulge, her fingers trembling as she sprints for the front door.

“No, wait. She’s sleeping.” I chase after her, snatching her arm before she can open the door.

“Where?”

“In my bed.”

“What?” Caroline spins around to frown at me.

I point at her, ignoring her incredulous look. “Don’t you fucking wake her.”

Caroline’s frown deepens into an intense scowl as she shakes my hand off and shoulders the door open.

Turning to Casey for a little backup, I find nothing but another angry face. “What?” I snap.

“Don’t grab my woman like that, man. Shit.”

“I’m sorry,” I mutter, slumping onto the front step. “But Lani needs sleep. She needs to switch off and…” I sigh. “She needs peace.” Shaking my head, I lick my lips and stare out at the front yard. “You should have seen her face, man.”

Casey still doesn’t know exactly what happened, but maybe he can guess. The thing I love about the guy is that he doesn’t need to know all the details. Squeezing my shoulder, he gives me a sympathetic wince while the puppy sniffs around our feet. We don’t say anything as Fezzik snuffles the stairs, his little snorts and frantic movements entrancing me.

It’s good. I don’t want to look at Casey right now.

I don’t want to try and make conversation.

Because there’s nothing to say.

That fuckhead wouldn’t stop.

And now Lani’s paying the price.