Chapter 43

43

“Open your eyes…That’s it. Time to come to…Time to awaken…Aha! Hey, darling girl.”

I open my eyes to see Merritt in front of me, hands on her hips. She’s standing beside a washing machine, dressed in a navy-blue boiler suit. There are pink plastic chopsticks holding her hair up in a messy bun. Beside her stands a man so ridiculously good-looking he appears computer generated. He is tall and blond with pale green eyes and long dark eyelashes that soften the effect of a jaw so sharp it could cut glass.

Merritt turns to the man. “Well, here she is. The bane of my existence, Delphie Denise Bookham.”

The man waves, giving me a grin that looks like it ought to be photographically captured for a Vogue spread. “I’m Eric. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Eric? The man who…”

Merritt leans her head on Eric’s crisp white-shirted shoulder. “As it turns out, ours looks to be a classic tale of rivals to lovers—honestly, you couldn’t write it. Well, Lucy Score probably could.”

I shake my head, trying to process what is happening right now. A car crash? That’s how I died the second time? I was so busy worrying about manholes and murder by Mrs. Ernestine that I didn’t imagine it would be something as plebeian as a car accident. My stomach twists and clenches as I realise that I didn’t even make it to Jonah. No. Oh no. And then I cry out as I remember that Cooper was in the car beside me.

“Cooper! What about Cooper?!” I scramble up from the chair. “Is he okay? My god, was he injured?”

“He’s right there, Delph.” Merritt grins, pointing at one of the plastic chairs behind me. “Such a sleepy thing, isn’t he? Arrivals have usually woken by now. I can’t wait any longer. I’m going to wake him!”

Oh no. God, no. Cooper is here? Cooper doesn’t belong here. What have I done?

“No. Please.” I dart over to where Cooper lies in the chair, head resting on his shoulder, looking for all the world like he’s having a peaceful afternoon snooze. I…Cooper’s dead? I did this? NO. This was not meant to happen. Oh my god.

“Wake up!” I put my hands on both of his shoulders and shake frantically. “Cooper, wake up.” I turn to Merritt. “Send him back. You have to send him back right now. He doesn’t belong here! Not him. Cooper, wake up right now. Cooper, please.”

“Hey, go easy,” Merritt scolds. “Don’t scare him!”

Cooper cannot be here. He can’t be dead. I plead with Merritt. “You have to send him back. His mum will be…They already lost their…He can’t. He belongs on Earth! He has so much left to do…Books to write, joy to bring, joy to have. He’s already been through too much!”

I must be getting through because Merritt’s eyes glitter with tears at my desperation. She leans down and whispers something into Cooper’s ear.

I watch as his eyes slowly open, a brief flash of panic before they come to rest on Merritt crouching in front of him. The fear in his eyes transforms into confusion and then shock and then…delight? What?

He exhales shakily and whispers, “Oh my god.” My jaw drops as Cooper jumps up from his seat and immediately, fiercely pulls Merritt to him. He wraps his arms around her, one shaking hand pressed to the back of her head. “It’s you,” he murmurs, voice rasping. “You’re here. I…You’re here?”

Merritt rests her cheek on his chest, eyes squeezed shut, the corners of her mouth lifted. Cooper pulls away and holds her face in his hands, using the crook of his forefinger to tenderly wipe away the tears that have begun streaming down her face. His shoulders, always so hunched and stiff, lower, sinking into something resembling relief. He starts to speak, but whatever he’s about to say turns into a deep sob as he pulls Merritt back to him. Merritt laughs, right from her belly, and then Cooper laughs too, a quick bark of a laugh. The two of them are just desperately clutching each other, laughing and sobbing at something only they are privy to.

“Is this real?” Cooper says eventually. “Are you real? Is this a dream?”

Merritt takes a deep breath and exhales slowly as if she’s trying to steady herself. “It’s real, Coop. Not in any way the kind of real that you’re used to. But I’m here. And you’re here.” She clasps his hands in her own. “And my god I missed you.”

Eric watches on, an indulgent smile on his face as Cooper shakes his head, looking around the room in astonishment. His eyes are wide, and though he looks confused and light-headed, he doesn’t look frightened at all. He looks almost happy. I don’t understand.

“Wait…” he says, taking in the decor of the room. “What the fuck is this? Is this Franny’s Launderette in Barnet? You absolute weirdo.”

“You know I loved hanging out there,” Merritt says with a shrug. “But I’ve been getting some less-than-stellar client feedback about it. Apparently, what might be a calming environment to me could come off as creepy to other people. Should probably change it to something super basic that everyone gets. The apartment from Friends, maybe. Or just something generic and beige like a hotel lobby. What do you reckon?”

“Stop!” I choke out, utterly confused. Fuck. What if this is not Evermore? What if it’s some weird alternate reality? What if the Higher-Ups caught on to the plan and now they’ve sent me to some place where my destiny is just to be perplexed for the rest of forever? “Why are you all acting like this is normal?”

“Delphie?” Cooper finally realises that I’m standing right there at the back of the room. He hurries over to me, his face crumpling into a dark frown, like he’s finally cottoned on. “Fuck, are you okay?” He tilts my chin up with his hand, inspecting my face, then running his eyes across my body. “Are you hurt?” He pushes a hand through his hair, causing the curls to stick up at odd angles. He glances at Merritt. “How long can we stay here with you for? When can we go back? Is Delphie safe?” He turns back to me, eyes staring deep into mine. “As soon as you said Merritt, I knew you were telling the truth. I thought it was some sort of cruel trick at first, but you’re not the cruel-trick type. And then when you said about the romance novels, I knew it was my Merritt.”

“Your Merritt? Wait, are…are you in on this whole thing?”

Tears of frustration threaten to spill.

Cooper grabs Merritt’s hand and pulls her over. Eric is holding Merritt’s other hand, so he gets yanked over too. A chain of very attractive people who are all acting very, very strangely indeed.

“Delphie, this is Em! It’s Em. My sister.”

I look between them, and it suddenly occurs to me that their eyes are not only the exact same shade of dark emerald green, the exact same big almond shape, but that they are tilting their respective heads at the exact same angle.

“But…but this is Merritt. I thought your sister was called Emily?”

“Her name is M,” Cooper explains. “As in the letter M. Not E-M.”

It dawns on me like a drizzle at first. And then a cloudburst. Em is M. For Merritt. Not Emily. Cooper’s bookish twin sister is…Merritt? I notice then that she’s wearing the earrings that Cooper lent to me for the gala. She must have swiped them from his flat the day we got back! Merritt sees me looking and touches her hand to her ear.

“I missed them.”

“The Irish accent,” I mutter with a frown.

“I went to Trinity College. Lived in Dublin for ten years.”

I had assumed she had gone to Trinity College Cambridge. Cooper stares at his sister in wonderment. Now it makes sense why he’s not more scared, why he seems elated, why he doesn’t seem to have fully caught on to the ramifications of what all this means. I know how much his heart broke when he lost his sister. How did he describe it that night? Like his heart had cracked, and while he could find ways to plaster over those cracks, he knew they’d never truly mend. And now…

Merritt looks back and forth between us. I feel a weird surge of anger on behalf of Cooper. Because while he’s still in the midst of shock and delight at seeing his dead sister again, it doesn’t change the fact that she willingly brought him here. Away from his life for her own benefit. Was this the plan all along? Was I part of some sick ruse?

Merritt shakes her head as if she’s reading my mind.

“I was never planning on Cooper coming here!” she protests. “Of course I wasn’t, I’m not a total monster. I was initially planning to just have you, Delphie. But fate intervened and, as we know, fate is bigger than anything at Evermore.”

“You’re saying the crash…That wasn’t you?”

“No!” Merritt presses a hand to her chest, offended. “A crash? I would never. So prosaic. Crashes are dark. I was planning to have you fall into an open manhole for the comedy of it. That crash was fate. Cooper being here is fate. And human will? That’s even more powerful than anything we can conjure up here.”

Cooper looks like reality is starting to dawn on him. “So we can’t actually go back to Earth, Merritt? Ever?”

Merritt’s face falls, her eyes filling with tears. “You’re not glad to be here? With me? It’s pretty cool, once you get used to things.”

A question begins to form at the edge of my consciousness, but it doesn’t get the chance to fully realise because my vision starts to go hazy, the lights in this weird launderette flickering, and I hear a buzzing sound and then a siren.

“Oh!” Merritt gasps. “Are you kidding me? Well, well, well, Delphie. This is a turnup for the books! Looks like you’re getting that kiss after all…”

I sway slightly. Before I know it, Cooper has me in his arms.

“Delphie? Are you okay? What’s happening, M? What’s happening to her? Shit, is she fainting? Delphie, can you hear me? Delphie! No. Come back to me. M, help me! Do something! I can’t lose…”

Sounds start to fade away. I put my hand to Cooper’s face, but the hot sensation of his skin disappears beneath my fingertips into nothing.

I disappear into nothing.