Chapter 36

36

We get out of the cab at Paddington and walk past a pub where a group sitting at the tables outside are singing “Happy Birthday” to one pink-cheeked man in the middle. His face glows over a little Victoria sponge stuffed with candles.

The man looks embarrassed to be the centre of attention, but also kind of overjoyed. All of those people there celebrating him. All of them looking at him with love or, at least, like. That must be a really nice feeling.

Once Cooper and I have our burgers, we wander down Craven Road past the rows of white houses towards our building.

“I know how to show a woman a good time, right?” He waggles his eyebrows at me while biting into his Quarter Pounder, almost demolishing the whole thing with one bite.

“I have zero comparisons!” I sip from my milkshake. “That was my first date.”

Cooper stops walking. “Seriously?”

I nod and pull a face. “First date, only date.”

Last date.

“Well, let me assure you this is romance at its finest!” He laughs and reaches into his paper bag, pulling out a couple of fries and handing one to me.

“I literally have no choice but to believe you.”

He stops outside our building, his eyes growing serious. “I feel honoured to have been your first, Delphie. And I…”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence because there’s a woman sitting on the front step of the house, watching us. I recognise instantly that it’s one of the women I’ve seen exiting his flat before—an impossibly beautiful leggy brunette with the little hat that looks like a spider. A “Wednesday Addams walking for Chanel,” as Cooper’s sister would term her.

“Lara!” Cooper says. “What are you doing here?”

Lara stands up and brushes off her long burgundy skirt. She bites her lip and gives Cooper a knowing smile. “I was just in the neighbourhood and you popped into my head. Thought I’d see if you wanted to come out to play.”

The woman’s eyes wash vaguely over me and I’m annoyed at myself for being offended that she hasn’t even considered that Cooper and I are on a date. Of course, why would she?

I take another sip of my milkshake, the loud burpy sound of it alerting everyone in the vicinity that it’s finished.

“I’m actually on a date right now, Lara,” Cooper says smoothly. I look at him in surprise. Lara does the same.

“You? A date? Ha!”

“It’s true,” Cooper laughs. “But it was nice to bump into you.”

I think of the last time I saw them together a few months ago, kissing in the lobby; Cooper, wet haired and sleepy, looking like a dirty dog—the kind of man who wouldn’t dream of saying no to a woman like that asking if he wants to play.

Cooper grabs my hand and leads me past an astonished-looking Lara.

As soon as we get into his flat, he drops the McDonald’s bag on the table and pushes me up against the wall. He grabs my face and gives me the slowest, deepest kiss, his body pressed so close to mine there’s barely room to exhale.

He pauses, running his teeth over his bottom lip. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the moment I saw you harassing those teenagers outside Concept and Caramel.”

I kiss him back, using my tongue to explore his tongue and feeling my body melt with the sensation, like I’m a chocolate pudding in human form. I pull back. “I’ve been wanting to do that since you told me you’d googled ‘restaurants with an arty vibe.’ ”

He runs his hands over my shoulder, gasping as the silk strap of my dress falls down, exposing the top of my breast. He leans down and kisses it, then trails the kisses up the side of my neck before dragging his teeth across my jaw. Hungrily, I unbuckle his jeans and reach inside to feel the hotness of him in my hand.

“Christ, Delphie,” he breathes, running his hand up my thigh, lifting my dress and using his thumb to lightly stroke over my underwear in exactly the place I need him to. We touch each other, fully clothed, just standing there, eyes fixed on each other. Somehow, it’s more unfiltered, sexier than anything else we could be doing in the moment.

“How does that feel?” he murmurs as he deftly slides my knickers to the side and slips a finger inside me. I respond by increasing the speed at which I’m stroking him. He matches my pace, both of us breathing hard. I lean my head back against the wall. His eyes don’t leave mine except for a millisecond when they’re on my mouth as I lick my lips. When we come within seconds of each other, my knees buckle. Cooper swings his arm around my waist so that I don’t fall.

“My god.” He shakes his head.

“I know,” I say, my whole body sparkling.

Cooper leaves to go to the bathroom, and when he returns a few minutes later, I’m sitting on the sofa still trying to catch my breath, holding on to the blissful sensations that cloak my body, a lazy smile on my face. My phone buzzes from across the room with the sound of “Jump Around.”

“Love that song,” Cooper says as I hurry over to my bag, heart racing. I open the text.

Is this part of your game plan to kiss Jonah?

It shimmers and pops into nothing. I peer around. Is she watching me? I quickly dip into the bathroom and close the door behind me so Cooper can’t hear. “Did you just see that?” I hiss into the air.

The phone sounds out again.

Ew, of course not. But I know a postcoital glow when I see one.

“Stop! Anyway. I’m not sure I should be listening to you anymore,” I whisper into the air. “I’m pretty sure Jonah is not my soulmate.”

Soulmates is no longer the point here, Delphie! Shouldn’t you be trying harder to save your own life?

I frown. I refuse to spend my last two days on Earth gambling that precious time on something that is almost certain to end in more humiliation, sadness, and awkwardness. I switch my phone off and return to the living room.

“Wanna shower?” Cooper asks, a wolfish grin on his face, holding out his hand for me to join him.

“Yes,” I say, slipping out of my dress. “Very much yes.”

“What’s up?”

I turn onto my side to face him, propping my head on my hand. “When we were walking back from the station earlier, there was a group of people outside the pub. Singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to their friend.”

“I saw them.”

“I usually find the idea of parties and the like a full nightmare.”

“You do? Why?”

I blink. “Well…” Because no-one has ever thrown me a party, and I knew that no-one ever would throw me a party? “You know, all that performative jolliness. Yikes.”

“That’s a dark perspective on parties, Delphie.”

“Maybe I’m a dark-hearted person.”

“I see you. You’re not a dark-hearted person. God no. If your heart was a colour, it’d be yellow. The colour of a sunflower.”

I laugh. “That was so corny, Cooper. You sure you’re a writer?”

Cooper does a mock-wounded face. “I take it back. Your heart is hollow and grey like an old tin can.”

I laugh and sit up in the bed. “What I’m saying is that tonight I saw those people singing ‘Happy Birthday,’ and I got it. Those guests, friends, family, whatever. They were witnesses to that guy’s life. The fact that they were there to see him change age—some arbitrary occasion—it marked it. It meant that it was remembered. That he will be remembered. Even when he’s gone. Because he had, you know, witnesses.”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

I sigh again. “Mr. Yoon is fine, yes. But he’s old. And he might not be fine for much longer. For whatever reason he’s shut himself inside that flat for as long as I’ve known him—over twenty years. If he had died this morning, then who were his witnesses? Who would have been at his funeral? Me and you. And we don’t even really know him that well. And Jesus, soon I’ll be…”

“You’ll be what?”

I turn to Cooper. His dark-green eyes are twinkling and there’s a lazy half grin on his face. He actually seems to like me. Beyond the sex. I wonder once more how bothered he’d be if I was gone. Would he miss me? Surely not enough for me to halt all this for the next two days? I mean, maybe he’ll think about me for a week or so. But it wouldn’t be like when he lost Em—someone he actually knew and cared deeply about. I expect he’d get over me pretty quickly with the help of Lara and all the other women I’ve seen visiting him over the years.

“Mr. Yoon needs more witnesses,” I say eventually. “More people to know him. People who will remember him. Who will check in on him.”

“He has us.”

“It’s not enough.” I bite my lip. “There need to be, like, contingency people.”

I tap my hand against my knee and narrow my eyes as a plan starts to form.

“Contingency people?”

“Yeah…” I nod my head firmly and sit up straighter. “That’s it. I’m going to throw a party for Mr. Yoon. Nothing big. Nothing overwhelming. But just something to, you know, introduce him about a bit. To people.”

“Introduce him about a bit? He’s eighty-eight years old, and he seems to like being alone.”

“Eighty-six. And does he? Do we know that? I mean, I’ve pushed people away my whole life. I made that choice and now I…” My voice wobbles but I swallow it down. “Mr. Yoon, even if he wanted to have witnesses to his life, people to remember the important occasions, it’s got to be near impossible when you’re getting forgetful and you don’t speak and your body’s all creaky. He’s missed out on so much.”

“He’s always seemed pretty content to me.”

“I’m going to do it on Sunday.”

My last day on Earth.

Cooper laughs in disbelief. “You’re going to throw a party for our eighty-six-year-old neighbour the day after tomorrow. Why the rush?”

I take a deep breath. “Because life is too short to wait around on a good idea.”