Summer Trip

M y fingers tighten around the steering wheel and my foot lifts off the gas as the familiar stretch of highway comes to a slight curve. Even if I haven't been back in months, I know this area as well as I know the way to the apartment I share with Simone in California. The speed limit sign sticks out against the contrast of Ponderosa pines that line both sides of the road as far as the eye can see. In a few minutes we'll pass the "Welcome to Wilder Valley" sign before reaching the limits of the small town in northern Arizona that I called home for the first two decades of my life. One I couldn't wait to leave—and the same one where Simone and I reunited and fell in love all over again last summer.

"Do you think your family is going to be upset?" Simone asks. My wife holds her left hand out, the sparkle of her ring catching the light shining through the car's front windshield.

A wry chuckle slips from my parted lips as we pass Jay's Feed Store, and then the diner.

"They are. Aren't they?" Simone turns in her seat to study my face. "Wild!" Her brows lift, a panicked expression on her beautiful face. "You said they wouldn't be mad if we eloped!"

"Baby." I reach for her hand, weaving our fingers together and giving it a reassuring squeeze. My eyes leave the road to meet hers for a long second. "Our wedding day was perfect. I wouldn't do it any other way. Besides, it doesn't matter what they think. We're happy, and if they can't be happy for us, that's their problem."

She's quiet for a moment, a soft smile teasing her lips as I make a turn, heading towards my family's ranch. "It was a perfect wedding."

When we got engaged in December, we had discussed the possibility of a more formal ceremony and throwing a big party. Neither one of us had been married before, and maybe we should've taken the opportunity to do it up. But Simone wasn't close with her parents, and all my family lived in Wilder Valley. Plus with my music career taking off and Simone working long hours training her staff in the label's accounting department, we were time-poor. Neither one of us had the energy or desire to plan a big wedding—and at the end of the day the idea of putting together an event gave us more stress than joy.

That's one of the best things about being in your forties. We came into this relationship not only knowing ourselves, but realizing that if something didn't serve us, we could give any outside pressures a big "fuck you."

I didn't want to wait any longer to make her my wife.

She felt the same about making me her husband.

So last month, we took a drive up to a courthouse in Santa Barbara, meeting up with Jenn—and in front of a judge with Simone's best friend as a witness, we exchanged vows. I already felt like I had won the jackpot, but that day Simone made me the luckiest man in the world.

My wife . A smile pulls at my lips as I recall the day in vivid detail.

Simone wore a thrifted dress that hugged her curves, her hair piled in curls around her face—currently a vibrant purple, and my new favorite color. I wore a suit, no tie, and we both skipped dress shoes in exchange for classic Docs. I cried when she promised to love me forever, which made her cry too. My heart felt too big for my chest, and for once, words failed to capture my love and adoration for my partner in life. The only evidence of our elopement are the two dozen photos Jenn snapped on her iPhone and a song I wrote later that evening—one I'll only ever play for Simone.

Everything about that day was perfectly us, and because we chose to elope it will stay between us, which I will cherish forever. Yeah, I have zero regrets, even if my brothers and sister are disappointed they weren't invited.

"Are you sad we're not staying at my boss's mansion this time?" Simone teases, pulling me out of my trip down memory lane. Her boss, one of the owners of Detour Records, has a mansion up the road—the reason Simone ended up in this small town for a vacation last summer—and without that, I'm not sure our paths would have ever crossed. Lexi Marx and her family are using the place this week for their own family vacation or she would have generously offered us to stay there again.

"I don't care where we stay." I grin at my wife. "As long as it's with you."

Simone smiles back. "I feel the same."

"I will miss the hot tub, though." I wink, unable to help but think of all the places we made love the last time we stayed there.

"And the porch swing." She sighs.

"Fuck." I scrub a hand down my jawline and press my foot on the gas, desire thrumming through my muscles at the idea of spending the next week distraction-free with my beautiful bride.

Simone reaches over, her hand resting on my shoulder and kneading at the tightness in my muscles. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Her voice is low and husky, betraying her own desires.

"We'll just have to find new favorite places to fuck."

"Exactly." Her laugh is full of delight and brings a smile to my face.

Only, my enthusiasm fades as our destination comes into view. Through the curved gravel drive, the cabin is barely visible through the trees. I don't want to remember what I found the last time I was here, or how difficult that week was. It takes all of my willpower to stay in this moment, and not get dragged into the past. I remind myself the place is empty, currently used as a vacation rental to help pay for our father's care.

"What's wrong?" Simone asks.

I take a deep inhale and brush my hair back, attempting to calm my nerves. "I'm good." I tell her, or maybe it's more of a reminder to myself. Because the man who raised me is not inside that building. He's in a facility, his memories scattered from dementia, five towns over.

"If you want to talk, I'll listen." Simone's offer is a balm to my worries. She's the best partner, the best listener, she's just the best—and she knows me well enough to understand that coming home is never easy—even when I want to be here.

"I love you." I take her hand in mine and pull up to a stop in front of the cabin. Before I put the car in park and shut off the engine I press a kiss against the back of her hand. "I'm good. I promise. Though, I'll be better when we're both naked."

She releases her seatbelt, turning to face me completely, and brushes her free hand along my brow while studying my expression. "I think we'll both feel better when that happens." She offers me the hint of a grin.

I want to smile back, but over her shoulder I spot multiple vehicles parked behind the cabin. Strange . "Hey, by any chance did you tell my family what time we were arriving?"

"Yeah." Her brow furrows. "Your sister sent me a text an hour ago to ask how far we were. Why?"

I release a heavy sigh and nod towards the parked vehicles. "Because I think sex is gonna have to wait."

She follows my gaze and realization dawns on her face. "Fuck."

"I know." I chase away my disappointment with a wry chuckle. I love my family, and yet they can be so presumptuous. Not that I have much room to complain, what with them offering us the cabin this week. "Come on, let's get this over with."

We grab the bags from the trunk, then make our way up to the front porch. I press the code into the lock, then swing open the door and step to the side to let Simone walk inside first. As she crosses the threshold, the interior lights flick on as a chorus of voices shout, "Surprise!"

The living space is fully decorated, and several homemade signs hang on the walls offering congratulations.

But . . . how did they find out? I turn to Simone for answers, but she's wearing the same look of confusion as I am.

"Brother!" Ryan greets me with a hug. Aiden, Maeve, and Jackson right behind him.

"We know it's nothing as fancy as the parties you're used to in LA, but we wanted to throw you an album release party!" My sister says, her newborn strapped to her chest in a fabric sling.

Ahhh. That's what we're celebrating.

"We're proud of you, Wild." Aiden clasps my shoulder.

"And your music ain't too bad." Jackson winks, a teasing smirk on his mischievous face. "At least some of it."

"Thanks." I can't help but laugh. "I think." I hook my arm around Simone and pull her to my side. Sure, I was looking forward to a quiet night alone with my wife, but considering we haven't visited Wilder Valley since Aiden and Sarah's wedding back in October, this is all very thoughtful. Even if it is totally unnecessary.

Simone, leaning into me, slides her left hand over my shoulder, her ring capturing the light—as well as my sister's attention. Most people wouldn't notice the extra band stacked next to Simone's engagement ring. But nothing gets past Maeve.

"Oh my God!" She practically screams. "Do not tell me you went and got married without us!"

Simone winces, as I let out another chuckle. "Umm, okay I won't tell you."

"Wild!" Maeve chastises.

"Wait. For real?" Aiden's eyes widen.

"I couldn't wait another day to call her my wife." I press a kiss to Simone's forehead, a swoony, romantic feeling overwhelming my senses. "So we went and got hitched."

"You're stuck with him now." Ryan nods, his wide smile directed at Simone. "And all of us too."

Simone grins. "I'm perfectly fine with that."

For the next hour we eat and drink and socialize—the celebratory mood shifting to center around our elopement. Thankfully my brothers and sister didn't invite the whole town, but it might as well have been, what with how loud the space gets. It's a cacophony of joyful noise. The younger children run and play, weaving between the adults. Simone gets swept away by Maeve and my brothers' wives, each of them demanding to be shown the photos of our wedding day. I sneak over to the kitchen to visit with the teenage nieces and nephews and devour a plate of home-cooked perfection.

"Okay, we need to get the kids home." Maeve interrupts, wrapping her arms around my waist for a hug. "I'm so happy for you and Simone."

"Thank you." I press a kiss on top of her head as I hug her back.

"We'll catch up later this week." She says, pulling away with a smile. My little sister has always been a positive person, but she's absolutely radiant now that she's with her best friend. I never hated her ex, but he didn't lift her up the way Rainer does. I'm glad she has that now, especially with four littles to take care of.

"Let's grab lunch just the two of us." I glance down at my newest niece, who's still very much an infant. "Or the three of us."

"I would love that." She beams, then makes her way over to say goodbye to Simone.

I wave to Rainer who is already at the door, helping my youngest nephew to lace up his shoes. Yeah, he's a good man.

The room thins out a little more as others leave, and soon it's only my brothers.

"What do you say we pour ourselves a round of whisky out on the porch?" Aiden pulls a bottle from one of the cupboards in the kitchen. "Then we let these love birds have the rest of the night to themselves."

Ryan nods, "I'm down." His kids left with his partner a few minutes before. "But one round. Because Jackson and I have to get up early tomorrow."

"I'm gonna head back with the boys." Aiden's wife, Sarah, says, nodding to her teens who are patiently waiting by the door. "Don't be too late." She gives Aiden a kiss, then waves to everyone who's left.

"You go enjoy a drink with your brothers." Simone comes over to squeeze my hand. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"I'll meet you upstairs."

"Night, everyone!" Simone waves before heading up the stairs.

"Let's do this." Jackson says, taking out four glasses from the cupboards, then heading outside.

We each take a seat, Aiden pouring generous servings of the amber liquid. There's a gentle breeze and the quiet night fills with the gentle sounds of pine needles swaying, a few crickets singing, and the occasional creak of wood as my brothers move in their chairs.

I used to hate the simpleness of these moments. As a teen, I couldn't wait to leave this town and the ranch. But now, it feels like a gift to be sitting with my brothers on a weeknight, and without the dread of a looming argument with our father.

I should ask about him.

I should tell them about the letter I found in this attic last summer.

I should free myself from this secret. I know I should, but I can't press the words past my lips. I don't want to ruin this night. Don't want to spoil this peace we've all found.

A shiver runs down my spine and my body prickles at the cool air of the night. I think about our cousin Will, like I do every fucking day, and wish he could be here now. He would love this—sitting around, all together, and sharing a drink. Though, he'd have us all in stitches, telling some crazy story from a time in our youth.

Silence stretches between us for longer than usual, and I wonder if my brothers are thinking about the same thing.

"You know . . ." Aiden starts, then takes a long sip from his glass. "Mom would be proud of us. Everyone here is boo'd up. I have Sarah. Ryan has Val. You have Simone and Jackson has his hand."

A snort of laughter bursts from Ryan.

I can't help but laugh too.

"You know, you guys are assholes." Jackson grumps, narrowing his glare at Aiden. "And Mom wouldn't like you picking on her favorite son."

"Favorite?" Aiden scoffs. "Please. We all know that honor goes to Ryan."

"Don't look at me," I tell Jackson. "I was always a pain in the ass."

"I locked that in because I gave her grandbabies first." Ryan teases, "And I guess I'll always have you beat in that department. Though, I'm not quite sure how you manage that, what with sleeping with half this town."

"Jealous?" Jackson grins.

"Not at all." Ryan rolls his eyes.

"I can't help the fact I'm so lovable." Jackson boasts. "And I wrap it up—and pull out. Always. That's how I don't have any little Wilders running around."

"I didn't need to know that." Ryan winces.

"You pull out? Every time?" Aiden frowns. "That's commitment."

"What can I say, I'm trying to have a good time." Jackson says. "Not get locked down."

"That's probably for the best." Ryan shakes his head. "With that attitude I'd feel sorry for your kid."

While I happen to agree, it's apparent by the scowl on our little brother's face that he takes immediate offense. "What are you talking about? I would make a great father."

"You could make a child." Ryan teases. "But there's a lot more than donating sperm to fatherhood."

"Can you believe this shit?" Jackson looks at Aiden and then me for support.

I hold my hands up. "Don't look at me. I never wanted kids or a family."

"Yeah, and why are you getting so offended?" Aiden laughs. "You always brag about being single for life."

"Well, yeah, sure. Okay. But I'd be a fucking awesome role model."

"How exactly?" Ryan laughs, but there's a little cut to his words. "The part where your entire life centers around your own needs? Or how you've never had a relationship beyond a fuck buddy? I'm just trying to be clear."

Jackson throws back the rest of his whisky with a swallow, then sets his glass down with a little too much force. "You make it sound like I'm a piece of shit."

"You're a great uncle, but . . . come on, baby brother. A father figure?"

"You know what? You guys suck." He pushes to his feet, and starts walking toward his truck.

"Come on. We're just joking." Aiden calls after his retreating form.

"Mostly." Ryan grins.

"Fuck you." He throws up a middle finger for good measure.

"What's up his ass?" I ask. Jackson rarely gets upset over anything, let alone a little teasing.

"Hell if I know. I've been trying to get him to talk all week and he's been unusually quiet. I'd say woman problems, but we all know he doesn't do commitment, or monogamy." Ryan takes his last sip, then stands. "I better head out too."

"He okay to drive?" I nod to Jackson's truck as the engine roars to life. His cabin is a little further down the dirt road that cuts through our family's ranch.

"Yeah, but I'll follow behind just to make sure."

I stand and give him a hug, then Aiden. "Thanks for everything tonight. I love you guys."

"Love you too, brother." Aiden clasps my shoulder. "I'm gonna get home to my wife. You should do the same."

"Yeah." I chuckle, thankful my commute is just a walk upstairs. I gather up the empty glasses and tuck the liquor bottle into my side to lift my hand in one last wave before heading inside. My body buzzes with the effect of the alcohol in my system, heightening my eager anticipation to find Simone. Tonight has been another healing experience—one where my idea of my place in my family expands, creating a positive memory in this town to replace one of hurt from my youth. I'm so grateful for Simone—without her, I'm not sure I would have this.

She's played such an integral part in healing the pieces inside myself. Her love generous beyond anything I deserve. Yet, she makes me feel like maybe I do deserve this—her—our happily ever ending. I take the rest of the stairs two at a time to find her and show her exactly how much I love her too.