Something Like Love

L ife's a bitch when your girlfriend cheats then dumps you right before prom.

As I stood on the school's front steps, watching Stacey wipe her eyes, I knew the tears were for show. My relationship with my now-ex had been superficial. Sports, studies, and my annoying home life were enough at seventeen; so the relationship had been a distraction. I'd miss her on nights when I needed an escape, but her constant gossiping and dragging on my arm? Not so much.

"It's not you—" she started.

"Yeah, yeah, it's you. I wish you'd waited until after prom," I said, cracking my neck and forcing a smile.

I enjoyed school dances—the cheesy music, teachers as killjoys, spiking the punch. I'd looked forward to spinning her on the dance floor and taking dumb photos.

"I know," she said. "But we'll find dates."

You with…? I didn't say the name of the guy she cheated with. Instead I said, "Okay. Got it," before jogging down the stairs to my brother Bryan's car. He always took forever to get his ass out of school and was probably with Aurora. Or maybe the girl he'd been fooling around with.

As if summoned, Severin Thompson appeared, walking out of school with her friends. She waved as they headed to the parking lot toward me, glancing at Bryan's car. She was always looking for him. Everyone knew she was in love with my brother, especially since he kissed her in front of the entire school while dating Aurora. It wasn't fun watching your dickhead older brother kiss the girl you'd had a crush on since you first saw her.

Severin locked eyes with me, and I raised my chin. She blushed, doing something dumb to my stomach. After she walked past, I reached for Bryan's car door, which was locked. Bryan and Aurora walked out, hand in hand, and Bryan's eyes swept past his car to Severin's retreating form. Aurora didn't seem to notice and started kissing him on the steps.

Impatient, I rapped my knuckles on the hood and wolf-whistled, breaking them apart. Bryan glared at me as he unlocked the car.

I threw my backpack in the backseat as he got in. "I just got dumped."

"Good for her," Bryan replied, and I flipped him off in return.

My brother and I were constantly at each other's throats. It wasn't just that he was messing around with the girl I wanted; it was everything about the prick.

With only one year between us, you'd think we'd have a lot in common. I'd been a baseball player; he was a basketball player. We had steady but unhappy parents.

We even liked the same girl.

The issue was, Bryan felt like the world was out to get him, while I just wanted to make people laugh.

Since childhood, we've had a basketball hoop in the driveway and a makeshift baseball diamond in the field. Our father pushed faith and sports on us from a young age. We excelled in different areas, but we always played together. Until we didn't.

Later that night, I grabbed a Pepsi and walked out to where Bryan was shooting hoops. He pretended to throw the basketball at me, probably to make me spill my drink, but I held out a hand. He rolled his eyes instead of passing me the ball.

"So, you're taking Aurora to prom, then?" I asked.

Bryan glared at me. "Is that even a question?"

"Yes. Notice the inflection at the end?"

"Of course I am."

"So she didn't scare Sev off when she confronted her at the Falcon's Nest?"

"No."

"Lame," I said.

"What is? Why are you hassling me?" He shot the ball and missed.

I ran for it, tossing my Pepsi bottle in the grass. "It's lame that she's let you string her along this long."

"I haven't been stringing her along," he snarled.

"You and Aurora will never break up. You'll get married, have babies, and be miserable together forever. Everyone knows that but you and Sev."

" Sev? Have you ever even talked to her?"

"No. But I'm very aware of her," I said, shooting the ball.

Bryan jumped and snatched it out of the air. "You have a thing for her? Didn't Stacey just break up with you?"

"Yeah, big sad," I laughed.

"Is this like when we were kids, and you wanted to play with my toys?"

"She's not a toy," I snapped. "Why are you playing with her when you'll never date her? Wasn't humiliating Aurora at the homecoming dance enough?"

"Fuck you," Bryan said.

I laughed, picking up my drink. "I never thought I'd see the day I wanted to be you."

"And why do you want to be me?"

"I see the way she looks at you." I shrugged. "Maybe pretty soon, you'll want to be me."

"Why would I want to be you?"

"Because maybe I'll ask Severin to prom."

I could feel Bryan's stare as I walked back into the house.

The flowers in my hands were the same color as I knew her dress would be—thanks to a tip-off from her friends—and when I found Severin at her locker, her eyes were wide as she took me in. I wondered if I'd have a voice when speaking, but she beat me to it.

"What's this?" she asked, reaching for the roses.

"Can we talk outside?" I asked, not caring if my brother saw me.

She nodded and followed me out of the school, and I felt eyes all over us.

When we stepped outside, she crossed her arms. "What's up?" she asked.

"Do you have a date for prom?"

"No, and I think you know that," she said, smirking.

It was the first time she sounded like the girl I'd heard laughing with her friends and speaking poems aloud in our English class a year ago. I loved it when the teacher called on her to read.

"Yeah," I admitted, smiling at her. And this time, she blushed for me.

"So, is this you asking me to prom?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay?" I asked. It wasn't romantic, but I didn't care. Severin was going to prom with me.

I thought back to the homecoming dance when I won for junior class king, and she won for senior queen. Yearbook posed us together, and I congratulated her even though I knew that crown had cost her something. And she said thanks as I felt her arm tangle with mine.

I wanted her then. Even when I was with Stacey.

Maybe I was just as bad as my brother. But if Severin had shown even an ounce of interest in me, I would have dropped Stacey that night.

My brother had Severin's heart all tangled, but I had the promise of the night. And that's all I needed.

My mother wanted Severin to come over for pre-prom photos by the barn, but I made excuses to avoid it. I didn't want to put Severin through that.

Instead, I took the obligatory pictures with my brother and Aurora, and once the photos were done, I had my dad drop me off at the school.

When he left, I jogged across the street to Severin's house.

I adjusted my bowtie and arranged the roses as Severin's dad opened the door. "Mr. Thompson, sir," I said.

"Ben Winthrop. Come on in," he replied. "Severin's still getting ready."

The house was cozy and bright, with a sliding glass door in the dining room. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked.

I nodded and walked to the fireplace, looking at photos of Severin and her parents.

Her dad returned, handing me a glass of water, taking the roses. "They're the same color as her dress. Smart boy."

I smiled, looking back at the fireplace, at the pictures of Severin's mother. They made me sad. Her dad's voice broke my thoughts.

"I've got a green thumb, Ben. The flowers bloom in the backyard, so I hope you don't mind if I take some photos of you and Sev before you go."

"No, sir, I don't mind at all," I said, walking to the screen door, glad Severin had a good father to look after her.

I heard high heels on the hardwood floor as he said, "Sev, you look lovely." I turned to see Severin and her father embrace.

"Ben's here. He got you roses. I put them in a vase."

Severin's eyes met mine, wide and blue. She smiled and walked to the vase, smelling the roses, one hand tracing the baby's breath.

"Thank you," she said, walking over to me and hugging me, making me feel warm all over. When she pulled away, she wiped my shoulder. "Just making sure I didn't get any makeup on you."

Her father ushered us into the backyard and grabbed his camera.

It was the start of one of the best nights of my high school years.

Jealousy was a normal human emotion. I understood that. I just...didn't feel it. I'd seen the destruction it held. I'd seen my brother look at me with his pissy face when my mom treated me like a baby. I'd seen my father treat my mother like shit any time she attempted to have a life of her own.

I was seeing it right now.

Severin looked at Aurora like she had the key to her happiness. But I still didn't feel it. Some might argue that perhaps my feelings for a girl I'd barely spoken to were paper-thin, but I boiled it down to one thing: I had no desire to be my brother. I had no desire to be her object of affection if what she deemed romantic was how he treated her..

And despite what I said, I didn't want to be him. I wanted to be who I was right then. The guy with the most beautiful girl in the room placing her hands on his shoulders.

"Are you having fun?" Severin asked, looking up into my eyes.

I smiled at her. "Yeah."

"Are any of your friends going to have a party or anything afterward?" she asked.

"A couple are going on. Why, you wanna go?"

Severin shrugged her shoulders.

I had no desire to take her to a party with some of my dumbass friends. Especially since I knew that's what Bryan and Aurora would do after prom.

"I'd rather not go to a party after, to be honest," I admitted.

"What do you want to do?" she asked as her fingers brushed against my neck.

I knew the girl had spunk, I knew she had fight, but it felt like it had all been taken out of her. And I knew the assholes across the room were partially responsible for that. I was going to bring it back out of her.

Twenty minutes later, she caught me spiking my drink by the punch bowl, but she didn't look mad.

"What are you doing?" she asked, eyes drifting to the chaperone just over my shoulder.

"Adding some fun to the night," I said with a smile.

She surprised me by reaching for my drink and downing it.

"What do you say?" I asked as her eyes met mine.

"What?"

"Let's get drunk."

She smiled, and somehow, her eyes already looked fuzzy. I knew she was a lightweight, and maybe this was what she needed to get over seeing Bryan and Aurora parading around like it was their honeymoon. But I planned to keep her safe.

"Let's stay and see who wins prom king and queen," she argued.

"Okay," I replied, taking her hand, leading her out to the dance floor.

When we reached the center, I grabbed her other hand and raised her arms. She interlaced her fingers behind my neck, and my hands went to her hips. Her dress had a low back, and my fingertips brushed against her skin, making her shiver. I pretended not to notice, but inside I was fucking grinning.

"It'll never work with him. You know that, right?" I said into her hair.

"Nothing is happening anymore. I mean, I know. But how about you tell me why? Slip the knife in a little deeper." Her voice was full of melancholy.

"He will never leave her. Or this town."

"He will never leave Burlingame?" she asked.

"Nope."

"He doesn't like this town any more than I do," she said, and I wondered if she believed that.

"He says that. And maybe he doesn't, but he won't leave. The summer before my freshman year, I always talked about leaving. I was obsessed with the Travel Channel that summer. Sometimes, he told me I was stupid or asked why I would want to go. There are leavers, and there are those who grow roots. You and me? We are leavers. We don't belong here. He does, whether he wants to admit it or not. And maybe part of the reason he thinks he wants to leave is that he knows I will. And he knows you want to. So he thinks maybe he can have that too. But the truth is, the person he loves most is here. So, he grows roots."

"Aurora," she said, voice low.

I shook my head. "My mother. And my mother wants Bryan and Aurora together more than anything. For as long as I've been alive, it feels like they've been this thing. She's like a sister to me. She is. And I know you have a certain perception of her. But you don't know her like I do. Like he does. Like my parents do. Because my family is her family."

"I'm not going to cry tonight."

When she said it, it was like I wasn't there, like she was saying a prayer.

"Then don't. Let's get out of here."

"Neither one of us has a car."

"Well, that works perfectly with our plan then, huh?" I grinned, ready for whatever would come next.

After another drink and another dance, Severin and I snuck out of prom.

Her father wasn't home and we ran across the street to her house where she changed clothes and I ditched my jacket. Then we took off to the center of town.

When the gazebo fell into view, she took off running, throwing her shoes in the air. She laughed out loud as I chased her and fuck, if that unburdened sound wasn't goddamn music.

When she sat and pushed herself up to the railing, her cheeks were flushed. "Has it ever happened to you?" she asked, her voice soft but searching. "Have you ever been cheated on?"

"Yeah. A few times," I replied.

"Did it change you?" she asked, her eyes filled with vulnerability.

"No. But I wasn't in love with any girls who did it," I said, shrugging. "I think I was already usually halfway out of the relationship and they didn't know how to end it, so it gave us both an excuse."

Severin looked at me then as if she were piecing together parts of me she'd never noticed. We'd never talked much, but our school was small enough that everyone knew bits about everyone else.

"I can't imagine what it would feel like. To love someone and have them betray you in that way. So I'm this person, and I've participated in it. And that makes me sick," she confessed.

"We're teenagers, Severin," I said, hoping to ease her guilt.

"Does that make it okay?" she asked, looking up at me, making me want to shut up every fear she had about who she was with a kiss.

"I don't know. I guess. We're kids. We make mistakes, and it wasn't real. At least not for me. Maybe for them. For you. But all of this," I said, waving my hand to the town, the high school, everything, "isn't that serious. I'm not that serious."

"I can see that now," she said, smiling.

"Listen, we have serious enough at home. So I'm not about to invite any of that into my life, unlike Bryan. I guess that's the benefit of being the youngest. I see all his mistakes and learn from them without the pain. You can spend your whole life trying to change him, and it will just be a dripping faucet of disappointment."

"I don't have my whole life. I have the rest of the year. The summer here," she said, a hint of resignation in her voice.

"It'll never work," I said, knowing it was the truth she needed to hear, even if it hurt.

She nodded, her eyes downcast. "What do you want in a girlfriend?"

I walked to her, sat beside her, passed her the flask, and watched as she took a swig before handing it back, her fingers brushing mine.

I cleared my throat and gazed out beyond the gazebo as I described her. "Someone I can have my shields down with. Someone who makes me question things. Someone maybe a little rude, who can call me a jackass and take it in return. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone I can make laugh. Someone too fucking charming for their own good." I smiled, shaking my head. "Someone I can get yellow roses, who'll see it as a compliment. Because that means they're my best friend."

"A best friend?" she asked, turning to me.

I glanced at her, then away, too worried I would kiss her. I wanted to, but it wasn't time. Not yet.

"Yeah. But the kind that makes me feel…" I motioned to my stomach, swirling my hand around. "I don't know, something here. Someone who makes me nervous, but excited." I risked it then, turning to her. "What about you?"

She held my stare momentarily, and when I took her hand, she didn't pull away. "I think I want yellow roses, too. Something like…love."

"Something like love?" I asked.

She looked me in the eye. "We're teenagers, Ben. So maybe that's enough for now."

I laughed, looking down at our clasped hands. "Yeah. That's enough. For now."