16. W I L K S

SIXTEEN

W I L K S

They say thirty seconds is the perfect amount of time to wait by someone’s front door and if they don’t answer, then you should probably catch the hint and go.

Or do they?

Perhaps it’s all a hoax, or maybe I’m convincing myself of that narrative to feel better about the fact that I’ve been standing at Chelsie’s door for far too long.

Last night was awful—a bloody mess. Usually, the second my head hits the pillow, I’m out like a light, but all I seemed to hit last night was a brick wall.

I couldn't stop my mind from relentlessly churning over what transpired on the front of this very porch. It’s been twelve hours since I last stood in this exact spot, but with the way my mind has been working, I can’t help but feel like I never left.

Mentally, I’ve stayed here, trying to dissect every part of what happened, all the while attempting to piece together the absurdity of her words:

“What if I can’t be the girl you want me to be right now, Gary?”

Not the girl I want? Christ, Chelsie’s the only girl I need. The only girl I’d ever been this desperate to go after as I mumble my rehearsed speech under my breath.

“Chelsie,” I begin. “I’m sorry I’m here so early in the morning, but I just couldn’t go on with my day without checking in to make sure that things are…”

I’m left shaking my head in disgust.

“ No . That’s not right.”

Maybe I should start in a less formal way?

A less… pleading way?

I suck a short breath in and exhale a long breath out, relaxing my shoulders as I try again.

“Hey Chels.” I chew down on my bottom lip in worry. “How’s uh—it going? Fuck , what is wrong with me?” I run a hand over the creases in my forehead. “Get it together, Wilks. Seriously!”

Why can’t I think clearly?

Why is this so bloody hard?

Straightening my spine, I switch positions, this time turning my back towards the door as I talk to the open road.

Maybe it’s the pressure getting to me.

“Chelsie,” I try once more. “I just wanted to say to you that I really like you… like a lot . And I’m here because I want to make things work between us. I’m here because I… I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I?—”

“I think you should go with option one,” a recognizable voice takes me by surprise, forcing me to flinch— Ruby . “Though,” she speaks as I reluctantly turn back around. “Throwing in a little bit of option three might drive it home.”

If the word embarrassment was a person, I’d be it. Not only do I sound like a fool as I ramble on the front of Chelsie’s porch, but I also look like one as Ruby undeniably catches onto the fact that something is wrong between Chelsie and I.

Great. This is just great.

“Hey, Ruby…” I flash her a humiliated smile, hoping that somehow, by some miracle, I can swallow myself whole and disappear into the abyss.

I can’t.

“Hey, Wilks,” she responds with a mutually awkward wave, and silence follows thereafter. I’ve never been more humiliated in my life.

“You’re uh—probably wondering what I’m doing here, huh?” I can’t help but admit, kicking the gravel beneath my shoe as I rub behind my neck.

“I think I might have already gathered that,” she playfully scoffs, folding her arms across her chest.

“So you heard… all of it?” I painfully laugh, hopeful it’ll help to alleviate the pink that masks my cheeks.

“Every. Last. Word.”

“ Perfect ,” I remark sarcastically, rubbing along my bottom lip. “Isn’t that just perfect?”

“Perfect, indeed. So, Chelsie, huh?” Ruby flashes me a keen look—one I’m certain Chelsie has before.

The two are so similar with their wide eyed gaze, blonde hair and round face, yet different at the same time. Nothing about Chelsie can be duplicated—replicated—or replaced. Chelsie’s her own. Comparison is not an option.

I bob my head. “Yeah, I am. Is she uh—home?” I attempt to peer inside, but see nothing with an empty hallway.

“She just left town.” Ruby breaks the news with a shrug of her shoulders before peering back down at her watch. “About an hour ago, actually.”

My heartbeat amplifies. No, scratch that. It stops beating all together. Left town? What? Why? Was it because of me? Was it because of what happened? Shit . How has this gone so south so quickly?

“Oh, relax, pretty boy.” Ruby cuts my internal crisis short with a coy laugh. “It’s not because of you and your eager touch.” She subtly rolls her eyes. “She’s just visiting our parents for the night, okay? She’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

I exhale a sigh of relief, yet I’m still not appeased as I obsess over two keywords in her sentence.

“ Eager touch ?” I repeat what appeared to be her mindless slip-up. “Is that what you just said?”

Realization makes Ruby’s eyes widen. “Did I say eager touch?” She picks at the polish on her nails before peering up. “What I meant to say was ‘super rush’.”

“Super rush?” I raise a suspecting brow. “Seriously ? You realize that doesn’t make any sense, right?”

“Well, sometimes I don’t make sense.” Ruby raises her hands in defense, her face transforming into a bright shade of red. “ Oh , did you hear that?” She looks back over her shoulder. “I think that was the timer. I have cookies in the oven. Better go check on them?—”

“ Ruby ,” my voice brings her to a halt before she can sprint back inside. “Can you just talk to me? Please?” I plead. “Chelsie… what did she tell you about last night?”

Ruby sighs out in defeat before she leans her forehead against the doorframe. “If I tell you, this stays between you and me.” She gestures back and forth. “Do you understand, Wilks? You don’t say a word to Chelsie!”

I nod with absolution. I'll hold onto this secret for an eternity if I have to. My lips are sealed.

“She likes you a lot, Gary,” Ruby reveals. “Trust me when I tell you that. But Chelsie, she’s… she’s been through a lot with her ex, okay? Things that aren’t my place to tell you. But from what she did share with me about how she reacted to things last night, well, it’s because deep down… she’s scared.”

“Scared?” I ask.

“Yes, scared .”

I don’t understand. “Scared of me?”

Ruby rubs her evidently clammy hands along her colorful pajama bottoms. “No, not of you. She’s scared that she’s falling for you so quickly.”

She’s falling for me?

The revelation only makes my heart wince that much more as I’m tormented by the way we left things last night. I knew something was off, yet I also knew something was on. The two of us… we’re electric, unlike anything I’d ever felt before.

“Just…” Ruby softens her voice. “If I can give you any advice when it comes to Chelsie, it’s that you’ve got to let her take the lead, Wilks. You’ve got to. Over the past little while, she’s lost all control in her life. And this? You. Well, this is just another thing on her plate.”

Her words make me wish I knew the truth about things with her and her ex, but at the same time, I know it’s not my place to pry. I have to accept that when the timing is right, Chelsie will share everything with me. Until then, I suppose I have to be patient.

Fault #6: I hate being left in the dark.

“Now, I’m sure you have girls fawning all over you left, right, and center,” Ruby sings my praises. “But if your end goal with Chelsie is just another mindless hook-up, then I’m sorry to say, Wilks, you’re sadly mistaken. Chelsie isn’t the type.”

“It’s not like that at all, Ruby,” I assure her. “I like her. I like her a lot . This isn’t about just a hook-up to me. I want to get to know Chelsie. I need her to know that.”

Ruby stands up straight, and pulls back from the doorframe. “Well then, it looks like, for the first time, you’re going to need to take a backseat.”

I jerk my neck back like I’ve never heard the word before.

I haven’t.

“A backseat, you say?”

“Yeah,” Ruby laughs. “You know, learning how to work at someone else’s pace. You want to win Chelsie over. Let her take the lead in all of this. She’ll come around eventually, Gary ,” hearing her call me by my real name makes me wince. These Windsor girls sure know how to hit me right where it hurts. “You picking up what I’m putting down here?”

Sucking in a deep breath of understanding, I nod, hopeful that when I breathe out, it’s the bad omens that have clouded my mind. I needed someone to give it to me straight. Lay it on thick. It’s how I learn. It’s how I grow. The strategy reminds me a hell of a lot of Coach, and if I know one thing about his teaching methods, it’s that they work.

Ruby’s right. She’s so right that it pains me. Things got too heated last night between the two of us. What should’ve been a simple kiss escalated way too quickly.

Fuck.

It’s like I can feel gravity burdening me with the thought that I’ve just blown my chance. One that I fear I won’t get back…

“Good things come with time.” Ruby attempts to alleviate my worry with an encouraging smile. “And Chelsie? Well, I can promise you that she’s more than worth the wait.”

CHELSIE

“Mum… Dad!” I’m quick to greet them both the second they swing open the front door and pull me into their warm embrace.

“Chelsie!” Their voices are full of excitement as they soothingly rub along my back and usher me to take a step inside. “Look at you! Oh my gosh, your hair! You look amazing.” Mum gushes as she runs her hand along my face. Mum never skips a beat. “How was the train ride? I hope it wasn’t too bad.”

“Oh, you know…” I bypass her compliment and pull back, shrugging off my jacket in the process. “It was long, boring , but you know what? I’m here now, and that’s all that matters.”

Mum smiles with rosy blush cheeks. “That you are, and we’re so happy to see you, aren’t we, Mark?” She glances up at my dad for reassurance.

“But of course.” He gleams with that proud father look in his deep eyes. “We’re always happy to see you, Chels. Your Mum and I know how tough it is to take time out of your busy school schedule. So, we both really appreciate you coming all this way. We do.”

I can feel the heat rushing towards my cheeks at the mention of school, but I fight it. This is the first time I’ve seen my parents since the night of the incident, and it's the first time I’ve had to play along with the facade of my double life face-to-face.

My trip out to visit them was on the spur of the moment. I knew I wanted to see them both before their vow renewal, but I’d constantly found excuses to put it off since we’d last spoken. Yet after last night, after that date with Gary, now seemed like the perfect time to flee town.

It’s like this is what I’ve resorted to.

Running.

Escaping.

Hiding.

I hate it.

But what I hate more is the reason why I ran, combined with this lingering feeling of regret that I can’t seem to shake.

The truth is, I like him. I like him so much it’s absolutely terrifying to me. It’s scary to think just how quickly things are progressing between the two of us. It’s like we’ve skipped past the awkward phase of getting to know one another and jumped right into the meat and potatoes of it all.

Never before have things felt so natural with someone, that first kiss inclusive, and because of that, I felt like the only rational thing to do was stop.

Stop before all the rationality could leave my mind because, in that moment, Gary became the only obvious answer, yet caused me to formulate the most daunting of questions.

Am I ready for this?

Another relationship?

Do I have it in me to let someone else in again?

Do I even want to?

I don’t know.

I don’t know a single answer to any of these spiraling questions. All I know is that I’m on a vicious merry-go-round that I can’t seem to get off of.

I’ve already spent the entire train ride over here thinking about Gary, and I’ll likely spend the whole ride back doing the same thing. Running me in circles. Running back the moment I pulled away and ruined everything.

Fuck .

I don’t know where to go from here—where we go from here. Is there even another destination?

I shake my head. I can’t do this right now. I came to Hull to escape Crawley. Clear my mind, and for the next twenty-four hours, I intend to do just that, which means no more thoughts of Gary. No more daydreaming about his lips, his touch, and especially no more self-pitying. I made my bed, I made my choice, now I need to lie in it.

“Chelsie?” Dad’s voice breaks me from my escalating thoughts—it’s a relief I can’t thank him enough for. “You alright there, love?”

I tuck some loose strands of hair behind my ears, and I flash them both a smile. “Yeah, of course. I’m just… happy to see you guys.” I decide as I swallow deeply. “I'm happy to be home .”

“Awh.” Mum pulls me back into her arms. “And we’re happy to have you home, sweetheart, but no more standing here. Come on in. We’ve got something to show you.” She guides me towards the living room that’s filled with an abundance of wedding decor.

My eyes widen in surprise. “What the heck is all this?”

“Let’s just say...” Dad places a hand on my shoulder. “We’ve got a lot we need your help with.”

After today I’ve officially decided that I never want to get married— ever . And it’s not the principle of marriage that’s led me to this conclusion. It’s the sheer amount of work that goes into putting together such an elaborate event.

I’m left baffled by the fact that my parents have not only done this once, but are willingly doing it again. This time, bigger .

They’re completely nuts—but they’re in love, and even if I have spent my entire day arranging centerpieces, I’d happily do it all again just to know that I’ve played a small role in being able to celebrate a lifetime's worth of happiness.

“Chelsie?” Mum shouts over to me from the kitchen, where she and Dad have taken the liberty to prepare supper.

“Yeah?” I call back out, sealing off the last of the invitations and tossing them to the side. “What’s up?”

“Someone is at the door, love,” Mum reveals. “Do you mind answering it? The food will be ready soon.”

I peer over my shoulder and in the direction of the doorway. I’d been so consumed with listening to music to help pass the time by that I hadn’t even heard anyone knock.

“Sure thing,” I stand up from the ground, wiping off some dust along my trousers, and skip my way over to the door before swinging it open. Only when I do, the person standing there is the last person I imagine it would be.

“Chelsie.”

Simon .

“Wow,” he remarks sadistically. “Fancy seeing you here, huh?” Simon’s eyes may be full of devious delight, but his tone tells me that me being here is of no surprise.

I gulp, and without so much as a second thought, I attempt to close the door on him, but only he catches it within the palm of his calloused hand and forces it back open.

“Now, now, that’s not any way to treat a guest now, is it, Chelsie?”

I shoot him a troubling glare, stumbling as I cling to the door for dear life. “A guest?” I repeat after him in disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about?”

I do a terrible job at attempting to lower my voice, leading my mum to call out, “Chelsie? Is everything okay?”

Simon beats me to a response as he pushes his way past me and steps inside. “You didn’t know?” He slides off his jacket and kicks off his shoes far too comfortably for my liking.

“Know what?” I’m reluctant to ask. Even more reluctant to pursue this conversation.

“That your mum and dad invited me over for tea. They thought it would be nice for us all to be together again. You know, like old times.”

I shake my head. No way . There’s no way my parents would do that to me. Why would they do that to me? I decided at the very last possible second that I would be coming here. Did they really call up Simon just to let him know? What is this? A ploy to get us back together? They know we broke up.

I can’t seem to wrap my head around things almost as much as I can’t seem to comprehend the fact that Simon is attempting to caress my cheek as he leans in to say, “You look lovely .”

I feel like I’m about to be sick as I push his cold hand aside just in time for my mum to round the corner.

“Simon!” she cheers, arms wide. “You made it.”

“Sarah!” He reciprocates the hug, yet as he leans in for a kiss, I can’t help but notice the taunting look he shoots me over her shoulder.

I can’t believe this is happening.

“It’s so wonderful to see you.” He pulls back innocently. “Thank you so much again for the invite, you look great, in fact, I was just telling Chelsie the exact same thing. Wasn’t I, darling ?”

Mum’s too busy blushing at Simon's flattery to see the look of complete betrayal smitten along my face.

“She’s just so beautiful, isn’t she?” She pinches a hold of my cheek, forcing me to wince out a smile. “Her new hair is just gorgeous. So different, don’t you think, Simon?” She delicately runs her hand through my bangs, seeking his approval. “Hm?”

“Oh, absolutely,” he agrees, despite the fact that that was nowhere near his initial reaction. What a bloody liar.

That’s when it hits me.

Simon’s playing dumb, though it’s hardly an act for him, yet it’s clear as day that he’s acting like this is the first time he’s seen me. He’s trying to use my parents to his advantage. Play them against me.

“And it’s funny that you say that too, Sarah.” Simon folds his arms in front of his chest, a thoughtful look in his eyes. “It seems as if Chelsie’s doing a lot of things differently nowadays,” he remarks with a cocky smirk. “Aren’t you, darling ?”

I tighten my lips, glaring at him in disgust.

What kind of game is he trying to play?

“Simon?!” Dad beats me to a response as he joins us in the entryway. “Is that you?”

“Mark!” Simon is quick to shake my dad’s hand before he, too, is pulled into a tender hug. Dad has always been a hugger. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going great, mate.” Dad nods with enthusiasm. “How are you? How’s school been?”

“Oh, you know, super busy,” Simon responds with a sigh. “You’ve been busy with things as well, too, haven’t you, Chelsie?” He stares down at me. “Lots of new things going on in your world, am I right?”

My throat goes dry as his remark piques my parent's interest, the two now seeking clarity in my face. “Yeah,” I lie, though it is partly the truth. “Things have been super busy. A little chaotic even.” I subtly scowl at Simon as I pull on the word.

“That’s our girl.” Dad takes no notice as he pulls me into his side, and plants a kiss onto my cheek. “Quite the brain on our Chelsie, so much so that half the time we don’t even know what’s going on.”

Simon scoffs, clutching his stomach in a laugh. “Oh, you’ve both got no idea.”

Mum and Dad join him in amusement, blinded to Simon's inadvertent jab—one I’m quick to retaliate with by saying, “Now that we’ve bypassed these hello’s, would anyone care to explain what the hell he’s doing here?”

My abrupt question is enough to make Mum and Dad’s face shift from innocent to guilty in a matter of seconds. It’s a transformation that breaks my heart.

“Well…” Mum's first to lighten the blow as she swallows deeply. “Your dad and I thought that we’d invite Simon around so that you two could talk. Reconcile .”

I shake my head with absolution. “I can’t believe this.” I grit my teeth so hard it almost pains me to do it. “You both know that we’re not together anymore.”

Mum and Dad both look back at each other, a wince in their eyes before Dad attempts to lighten this low blow. “But what about the vow renewal?” he asks. “You’re seriously not going to bring Simon as your date?”

I’m left stumbling hand over foot when it comes to what to say back to that. I’ll confess, it hurts me to see my parents hurt, confused, but at the same time it pains me even more to look in the eyes of a guilty man who paints himself innocent. This is a mess. Simon is a nightmare. I need to wake up.

“Oh, did Chelsie not tell you guys?” Simon inserts himself into the conversation, causing my parents head to shift on a swivel. “Chelsie’s got a new boyfriend now.”

Mum and Dad’s eyes both grow wide.

“A new boyfriend?” Mum’s voice inflates with surprise. “What? Since when?”

“Yeah, Chelsie, do tell us, since when?” Simon antagonizes me. “How long has it been? You know, considering we only just broke up...”

“I… uh…” I start to stutter, but can’t seem to find the words to carry out anything more than this sputtering mess.

“How come you didn’t tell us?” Mum continues to pester me with questions, whereas Dad, although he remains silent, doesn't hold back when it comes to the disapproving look in his eyes.

I hate it.

“Really, Chelsie?” Dad eventually remarks. “A new boyfriend? How on Earth could you find someone better than our Simon?”

I internally groan. “Our Simon.” Little does my father know just how much he’s feeding into Simon's already massive ego with that claim.

“Awh, thanks, Mark. You’re too kind. Though I will admit, the news took me by surprise, too. I'm just hoping she wasn’t seeing this guy while we were still together. If you know what I mean…”

“Chelsie,” my mom gasps. “You wouldn’t do that to Simon. Would you?”

I can feel the onset of whiplash as I look back and forth between everyone rhyming off complete and utter nonsense.

I know what Simon is trying to do. He’s trying to butter my parents up, so that they guilt trip me into getting back together with him. I know him. I know just how manipulative he can be.

“I’m not getting into this right now.” I take slow steps toward the coat rack, reaching for my purse. “In fact, I think it’s about time for me to get going.”

“Get going? But I thought you were staying for dinner? Staying the night?” Dad pursed.

I zip up my jacket and secure my bag over my shoulder. “Looks like you both got another guest you’d much rather entertain instead,” I snap, making my way towards the door.

“ Chelsie .” I can hear the remorse in my mum’s voice as she calls out my name. “Please, don’t go.”

I make an attempt to look back into her eyes and change my mind, but all I can seem to see is Simon and my secret that rests in the palm of his hand.

He’s smirking. Grimacing at the way his presence has completely derailed my parents' view of me, while helping to steer him in closer.

I swallow hard to choke back tears. I’ve cried so much these days I fear I’ve run myself dry, but as a single tear drop slips down my cheeks and I wipe it away, I know that I’ve spoken too soon.

“Have a nice supper.”