47. Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Seven

Indy — No w

“ I don’t see what the big deal is. You used to climb in and out of my window all the time.”

Nolan let out a chuckle behind me, his arm wrapped around my waist as we lay in bed. Soft gleams of morning light peeked through the window, slowly brightening my childhood bedroom. “Why would I do that when there’s a perfectly good door right there?” He skimmed his nose along the curve of my neck, leaving a kiss. “I only did that before because I was afraid your dad would skin me alive if he caught me sneaking out of your room. I don’t have to worry about that now.”

I smiled into my pillow, running my fingers through Genny’s fur where she was curled up against me. We hadn’t planned on spending the night here. We’d only come after my allergic reaction for me to grab a few more of my belongings. But before I knew it, the sun was up and I was bundled in Nolan’s arms.

I feigned a sigh. “Guess I won’t eat breakfast then.”

“I never said I wouldn’t make breakfast.” He left a teasing bite on my shoulder. “I’ll walk downstairs and make you breakfast right now. But I’m not climbing through that window.”

“Boring. ”

“I don’t have to put on clothes if I stay inside. You can stare at my ass the entire time I make you waffles.”

“Hmm . . .” I hummed, pretending to think it over. “Or you could climb out my window naked, walk through the front door, and then make me waffles.”

He grabbed my side, and I laughed as he flipped onto me, desire in his eyes. But even without clothes, and his heart pounding as fast as mine, he softly said, “I don’t think we’ve ever made breakfast together before.”

He had to be wrong. Out of all the years we’d spent together, there had to be at least one time we’d made breakfast together. But the more I thought about it, I realized he was right. We wouldn’t have had the chance in high school, and when we were married, it seemed like we were always rushing, too busy to sit down and have a lazy morning together.

“It’s not too late,” I said, giggling when Nolan all but yanked me out of bed. He’d been playful all morning, and while I wanted to be around him no matter his mood, I was relieved to see that whatever hung over him yesterday had diminished.

I slipped into Nolan’s shirt, and despite my teasing protests, he pulled on a pair of shorts. But I should’ve been grateful, as we’d barely made it down the stairs when the front door opened and my parents walked inside.

I froze, stomach dropping as my parents’ eyes registered us with surprise. It was silent, and I scrambled for how I might say Hi, Mom and Dad. Sorry your welcome home present was finding me half naked with my high school boyfriend in your house without actually saying it.

Before I could even try, Dad said, “Well, I can’t say I’m really surprised.” He said it with a grin, and from the way he eyed Nolan and me holding hands, I thought he might not be bothered at all.

“Uh . . . good morning.” I let out a breathless laugh, deciding it was useless to pretend this was anything else but what it was. “I thought you weren’t coming home until next week?”

Mom snorted. “Clearly. ”

Dad shot her a glance, seeming to hesitate with his words. “The marines gave Leo leave early. We figured we’d let him and Auburn enjoy their time together, so we came home sooner than expected.”

I nodded, grateful my sister’s husband was home early, even if I had to face my parents’ disappointment. I would’ve been annoyed with Auburn for not giving me a heads-up they were coming home if I hadn’t missed her call last night and this morning—I’d bet she’d called to warn me. Besides, Nolan and I were adults; there was nothing to be ashamed about. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t embarrassed. I hadn’t wanted them to find out like this.

“So, Nolan and I—”

“Indy, can I have a word?” Mom tilted her head toward the living room. “Now?”

I clenched Nolan’s hand, staying where I was. I wasn’t afraid of her—she loved me. But I wasn’t sure I was ready for what she might say. Especially when I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong.

“I’ll be outside getting our things unloaded,” Dad said, pointing behind him. “Indy, don’t leave without saying goodbye. You too, Nolan.”

He walked out the door, and I blew out a breath, preparing to follow Mom. I loosened my hold on Nolan’s hand, expecting him to head home, but his fingers latched onto mine, not letting go.

“So, are you going to try and tell me you two aren’t running around together again?” Mom asked as we walked into the living room, her gaze on our hands.

I could taste a retort on my tongue, but I shoved it down. “We didn’t mean to spend the night.” She was probably upset because she thought I’d used her house to sneak around with him. “I’ve been staying at his place. He brought me here last night after I had an allergic reaction, and we spent the night. I’m sorry about that. I should’ve run it by you—”

“You’re doing the peaches thing again?” Her tone was easy, but I felt her disappointment all the same. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. You get here, and you stop thinking. You do reckless things—”

Before I could tell her it was an accident, Nolan cut in, “You’re allowed to be frustrated, Mrs. Tyler. I’m sure this was a surprise, and I’m sorry you found out this way. But that doesn’t make it okay for you to disrespect Indy. And as far as my opinion goes, she’s the least reckless person I know.”

“I think it might be best if you head home, Nolan.” She gave him a polite smile, but I assumed by the way her hands fidgeted she was struggling to remain composed. “I’d like a moment alone with my daughter.”

“With all due respect,” he said, “I think I should stay.”

She raised her brows, likely as surprised as I was. “Well, I’m going to ask you to respect that this is my home. You’re welcome to come back another time, but for now it would be best if you left.”

Nolan’s gaze flicked to mine as he waited to see what I wanted to do. There was one thing on my mind, and it had nothing to do with my mom. I pressed up onto my toes and kissed him hard. “I’ll see you at home.”

Despite my words, I didn’t miss the hesitation in his eyes. I had no idea if it was because he wanted to support me or if he was afraid I wouldn’t follow through. Before I could reassure him either way, he went upstairs to get his things and then told us both goodbye and walked out the door.

I sat down on the couch, clad in nothing but Nolan’s shirt. I could’ve gone upstairs and changed, but there was no time to waste. This conversation was long overdue.

“What are you doing, Indy?”

I didn’t respond. I knew what I was doing—I just didn’t want to tell her. Because this thing between Nolan and me? It was beautiful and pure. It made me happy. I wasn’t going to let anyone make me feel like it wasn’t the greatest gift in the world.

When it was clear I wasn’t going to reply, she said, “You have to let that boy go, Indy. His heart—his life—is not a game to be played with.”

I blew out a deep breath, tired already. “Nolan is the last person I’d ever want to hurt.”

“I don’t think you’re trying to purposely hurt him,” she tried again, and a small part of me appreciated her softening her tone. “But that doesn’t mean it’s right for you to start something up with him when you plan on leaving him again. ”

I pressed my lips together, a low fire building in my heart. “Have you ever considered how it might be for me?” I asked, voicing what I should’ve long ago. “Did it ever occur to you how painful it was for me to lose him? How much I missed him? How hard it was for me to pick myself up?”

“Of course I know it was hard for you. I know you cared for him, Indy. But he lost an entire future—”

“I loved him,” I pressed, my voice shaking. “You and Dad are high school sweethearts, so I really don’t know why you’ve never taken it seriously, but I loved Nolan more than anything. Yes, we were young—but it was real. And when I lost him, I lost everything. You, Dad, Auburn. My home. This town. I lost my future, Mom.”

She watched me, and I could tell by her silence she wanted to know more. Have a clearer picture of what I’d lost. But I wasn’t going to tell her. It wasn’t out of spite. I didn’t need to justify my pain.

She pressed her lips together, seeming to consider her words. “I am sorry for the losses you suffered, Indy, but you have been working so hard these past few years. You’ve created a beautiful life. And I’d hate to see you throw it away for a few weeks of reliving the good ol’ days. There are some things you can’t control. Can you imagine if you accidentally got pregnant? What then?”

I choked on a laugh, shaking my head. Logically, I knew she hadn’t said it to hurt me. She wanted me to consider the big-picture consequences, so I wouldn’t throw away my beautiful life. But if she peered past the surface of that life I’d made, she’d see how incredibly lonely it was. “Yeah, I can imagine it,” I told her, deciding to hell with it. “But I mean, we’re married. So no big deal, right?”

She blinked slowly. “Tell me you didn’t remarry him.”

I shrugged. “Never divorced him, actually.”

She stared at me with wide eyes, and I could’ve sworn I saw smoke brewing in her hair. “I don’t know what you two are doing, but neither of you are thinking straight. Do you have any idea what the town will say once they catch word of this? Or how it looks for you to pop back into his life with his businesses taking off? They’re going to have a heyday with this—and it won’t be his name that gets smeared. ”

“I don’t care!” It was the most honest I’d been in years. “I don’t care what this town thinks about me. Do you know the only time their words have ever hurt me? It was when my mom believed them too. When you were more concerned about what everyone else thought, instead of how I felt.” I shook my head, defeated. There was nothing left to say. “I can’t keep living this way. I can’t keep cutting myself down and forcing myself into a box for you.”

“I’m not—” She closed her mouth, and I didn’t miss the way her bottom lip trembled. “What are you saying?”

The words were there, and this time, I didn’t hesitate to say them. “I love you. I miss you and Dad. I hope someday I get to come home without feeling like I need to prove myself.” I let out a steady breath as panic and heartbreak pulsed through me, but there was acceptance too. “But if you can’t support me, whether I’m in New York, living here with Nolan, or wherever else I decide to go, then you need to get comfortable watching my life from afar.”

I walked up the stairs to my childhood room, not waiting for a response. This conversation needed to be had years ago—there was no way we could find a solution in a day. I wasn’t sure if we’d ever find one, but nothing productive would come from me staying here. After getting dressed, I grabbed my suitcase and cradled Genny in one arm, and then I walked out the front door.

Dad sat on the porch, and from the weary smile he gave me, he’d heard it all. He glanced at my suitcase, and I braced myself for him to ask me to stay. To come home. But he did something better.

He tossed his truck keys to me, and I caught them as he said, “Take it. Doesn’t matter how far it is—you keep driving until you find where you need to be.”