Chapter 115

Anna ate dinner and then went back to the theater, her mind jumping between Hugo and Alex. Aaron wasn’t dancing and hadn’t been home when she’d left. Which was probably a good thing. She wasn’t ready to talk about what she’d learned from Wilhelm, and Aaron would have known something was bothering her.

Hugo knocked on her dressing room door as she was breaking in her new pointe shoes. “Are you nervous?”

“Yeah. I mean, a little. I’m nervous now, but I know once I’m on stage, I’ll be fine.” She shrugged. “It’s weird, but it works for me.”

Hugo laughed. “I understand. It doesn’t happen to me all the time, but I’ve had that before.”

“Do you get nervous?”

“Yeah. Sometimes. I’m nervous about next Thursday.”

“It’s a fantastic ballet, Hugo. I’m honored you’re having me dance with you.”

“You help make it great, Kittycat. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Anna bit her lip and looked away. She had decided she would talk to him after the performance, and was thankful he was being sweet and kind as usual, but not as touchy-feely as she had expected, considering they were planning on having sex tonight. But she didn’t know if that would happen after she shared her story with him. She truly cared for him and wished things were different. She sighed. The story of her life. But at least this time, she didn’t have to worry about him getting killed.

He left to get ready for the show. Firebird wasn’t until after intermission, so she had a while to wait, although she wanted to watch him dance from the wings. After her hair and complicated makeup were done, she stretched until she heard the music beginning. She wandered out to the wings and saw Hugo doing some last-minute stretches.

He grinned when he saw her. “Hi, Kittycat.”

“I wanted to see you dance since I missed it last night.” She chewed the inside of her lip. “Is that okay?”

“Of course. I’m glad to have you in the wings for me.” She grinned and he winked at her. “See you soon.”

Anna watched from the wings, enthralled by his dancing. She loved watching ballet as much as she loved doing it, and before she realized it, Hugo was taking his bows with the other dancers and Anna was clapping hard for him.

“You were wonderful!” She beamed as he walked to her.

“Thanks.” He grinned and kissed her cheek lightly.

The other dances flew by as well, then came intermission. And then it was time for Anna to step on stage for the first time in New York City. And oh, was it exhilarating! She felt herself transformed into the Firebird , flying across the stage, flitting around as the exotic bird and saving the Prince.

When she flitted offstage for the last time, Hugo crushed her in an embrace. “You were amazing!”

She looked up at him. “Really?”

“Absolutely.” He stroked her upper arm and looked out at the stage as the applause began. He grinned. “I bet that’s for you.”

Anna shook her head and held his hand until it was time for her to take her bow.

Dave held out his hand to Anna. “Ready?”

Anna was nervous for the two seconds it took for her to get from Hugo’s embrace to the side of the stage. But when she and Dave walked on stage, the applause became louder and even included some shouts. She blushed and made a low, humble curtsy. She glanced back at Hugo in the wings, who had been joined by Vincent, and they both beamed at her. The audience jumped to their feet and Anna grinned at Dave.

Several minutes later, when the applause had finally died down, the curtain closed for the last time and Vincent rushed over to her and hugged her hard. “Fantastic job!”

There were hugs and kisses and congratulations all around, and then Anna was finally able to head back to her dressing room to change and wash her face. She tried not to think about what she needed to tell Hugo. But now that the performance was over, her stomach was doing violent somersaults.

Hugo knocked a few minutes later. “You ready?”

Anna smiled. “Yeah.” She picked up her bag and took his outstretched hand.

They were quiet as they walked the block to Hugo’s condo. She’d been here just a couple of times. A little one-bedroom with a balcony and a beautiful view of Lincoln Center.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked as he locked the door behind them.

Anna shook her head and looked around. She had been looking forward to tonight. Even now, her body warmed at the idea of being with Hugo. But her heart ached and for once, she would listen to her head and heart instead of her body.

He walked by her and took her hand, leading her to the couch. Always the gentleman. Of course he wouldn’t take her straight to the bedroom. They would talk for a while, getting comfortable with one another, then he would kiss her...

“You’ve been quiet tonight. Is everything okay?”

She chewed her lip, trying to figure out where to begin. Oh, how she wished things were different! “Before we... progress with... stuff, there are some things I need to tell you.”

He squeezed her hand and gave a gentle smile. “Okay. I’m listening.”

She looked down at their hands, fingers intertwined. Dark, light, dark, light, dark, light. How could she have let it go this far? She should have stopped it from the beginning so he wouldn’t get hurt.

“Katrina?”

She glanced up at him and swallowed. “I... I’m not who you think I am. Or rather, what you think I am.”

His brow twitched, but his gentle expression remained unchanged.

“I don’t know how to say it...” She looked down at their hands again. “There is a man who decided he wanted me when I was born. I’m... different from most girls, and I have something he wants. He... killed my parents and arranged for my guardian to raise me as he did. When I was twenty, he took me from my guardian and made me his—?” She hesitated. “... his slave.” She looked away. “His sex slave,” she added softly.

She glanced at Hugo to see his eyes were wide and his mouth dropped opened in surprise. When they made eye contact, he nodded and gave her an encouraging smile.

“Alex... he... saved me from being totally taken by him and as a result, I became both of theirs. Alex did it to keep the other man from gaining complete control over me. He married me so that he would have an advantage over the other man.” She bit her lip. “Alex loved me and I loved him. So much.” She shook her head. “Alex would have married me even if he hadn’t loved me, but his—?” She swallowed. “He knew everything about me and still loved me. He could have had any woman in the world, and he chose me...”

Hugo gently squeezed her hand, encouraging her to go on.

“When we married... Well, De—I mean, the first man had taken me by force. When Alex married me, I was given to him as... it should be done. It’s kinda complicated.” She gave Hugo an apologetic look.

“It’s alright. You don’t have to tell me more than you want to.”

“Thanks,” she whispered. Why did he have to be such a good guy? “So, I was given to Alex in marriage by his father, who is the one who actually legitimately ‘owns’ me, I suppose is the easiest way to explain it. When Alex died, I returned to Wilhelm’s care.” She stopped, not knowing what to say next. After a long pause, she continued. “By me being here, it... weakens the other man, and eventually I will be freed from his ownership. But not Wilhelm’s. I will belong to him for the rest of my life.”

“And you’re expected to marry Alex’s brother.”

Anna’s head snapped up. “How did you know?”

“I know a bit about how the higher German families operate, and Aaron told me a little about your past last night.”

“I called Wilhelm to ask him if I would ever be free and he said I wouldn’t.” She blinked. “Wilhelm is a good man, as is Kurt. I’m not being forced into a horrible marriage. Kurt asked me to marry him before, but... we couldn’t.” She looked at Hugo, her heart heavy. “I’m sorry things... got so far. I suspected that I would have to marry Kurt, but...” She sighed. “I like you. A lot. I suppose because I didn’t know for certain, I didn’t think about it much. But now that I do know...” She shook her head. “I never wanted to hurt you, Hugo. You are one of the best men I have ever known. But I had to tell you before we... slept together.” She blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry.”

Hugo was quiet for several minutes and the butterflies returned to Anna’s stomach, but he deserved her quiet respect.

“If I were a callous man and didn’t care about the future, I’d say, ‘fuck it,’ and take you into my bedroom right now. I would stay with you as long as I could have you and then let you go when it was time.” He paused. “But I’m not a callous man. When we began getting serious, I started imagining a future for us.”

Tears burned at Anna’s eyes. She had thought of a future with him as well.

“I know that if I did hold on to you, it would kill me when I had to give you up. I don’t know if I could let you go.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she stared hard at her lap. Her chest tightened and she could hardly breathe. She tried to pull her hand away, but he held her tight.

“Katrina...” He lifted her chin with his hand. “I don’t regret a moment I spent with you. I will always cherish it. And I will cherish our time together in the future as well.” He smiled. “I’m not going to stop dancing with you. And I certainly can’t stop caring about you.”

She let out a choked laugh through her tears. “I don’t want to stop dancing with you either.”

“Don’t feel guilty, Kittycat. I understand why you kept things from me. And you didn’t lead me on when you found out what would happen in the future. I would have been far more hurt if you had told me next week. Or even tomorrow.”

Anna nodded, though his kindness couldn’t ease the pain of guilt in her heart.

“But I do think we should end things now, before either of us gets more hurt than we already are. At least romance-wise. Then we can have a good friendship instead of parting as hurt lovers later.”

She nodded again. He was right. But it still hurt.

“Katrina?”

She looked up.

“I was going to talk to you about what Aaron had told me. Either way, we would have resolved it tonight. It’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry.” The tears fell freely. Hugo pulled her close and let her cry on his shirt.

Hugo walked her home a while later. They were quiet, but Anna felt lighter. Hugo had taken her story well. He said he’d been thinking about it all day and had already gotten his head and heart around not being with her.

When they got to her apartment door, he kissed her on the cheek. “We have rehearsals for Arches tomorrow, don’t forget.”

Anna forced a smile. “I can’t wait.”

He waited for her to unlock the door and then said goodbye, and he turned and made his way back to the elevators.

Anna walked inside and saw the living room light was on. Was Aaron home?

She walked around the corner and froze in surprise to see Aaron lying on the couch, kissing a guy. She stared for a moment, fascinated, and then cleared her throat.

“An—Katrina! What are you doing home?” His eyes were wide and he glanced back at the guy he’d been kissing. Anna didn’t recognize him. He was good looking, in a feminine way, with thick auburn hair and blue eyes. “I thought you were staying with Hugo.”

She blinked rapidly and shook her head. Aaron was at her side in a flash. “What happened?” He put his arm around her and led her to the couch.

“We broke up,” she said softly. “We... had to. I told him—?” She glanced at the other guy and back at Aaron. “I told him what I was and what was expected of me in the future. We decided it was best to end things now. Well, Hugo decided, and I agreed.”

“Oh, Kat, I’m so sorry.” He hugged her tightly.

“I know it’s for the best, but it still hurts.”

Aaron nodded. “I know.”

She glanced at the other guy again. “I think I’ll just go to bed. Give you some privacy.”

“You don’t have to. Cam’ll understand.”

“Oh, yes, it’s totally fine,” Cam said gently. “You shouldn’t be alone after a breakup.”

Anna shook her head. “I just want to go to sleep.” As if to justify her claim, she yawned. “I danced hard tonight.”

“How did it go?”

Anna smiled, remembering the thrill of dancing. “Good.”

“Standing O?”

She nodded. “Two curtain calls.”

He grinned. “That’s my girl!”

“Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning.” She hugged him and then went to her room.