Chapter 114

Alex waited in his bedroom for Sebastian. Alex was going to become like an Elder. The thought both thrilled and frightened him. He’d seen many funerals where Elder-Sons became Elder, and it never looked particularly enjoyable. Would it hurt? How would it feel? It had never occurred to him to ask a new Elder.

Sebastian appeared a few minutes later with... Irina? The Russian Elder-Mistress?

Alex frowned. “What’s she doing here?” There would be only one reason an Elder-Mistress would be here. Irina was beautiful and sensual, but cold. Like all the Elder-Mistresses. He wanted his sweet, warm Anna.

“Alex, I cannot give you my essence straight. It would be too much for you right now when you are not fully an Elder. Irina will make it easier for you to partake of.” Sebastian gave him a sympathetic smile. “I know she is not Anna, but she is a Mistress we can trust.”

Irina smiled at him and moved closer. “Let me help you, Alexander. My sister has been abused for far too long, and Sebastian assures me you are the one to free her.”

He stared at her for a long moment, then gave a curt nod. This was for Anna. He would do anything for his beloved.

An hour later, Alex felt different. And guilty. Sebastian had sex with Irina and then Alex had ‘partaken’ of both of their essences from Irina’s body. Then he’d fucked her senseless. He hadn’t been thinking when he did it; he just did it. Lust had consumed him.

Sebastian had taken Irina back to Russia and Alex sat on his bed, staring at his wedding ring. Was that what it would be like when he became Elder? Becoming so consumed with lust that he would fuck anyone? Is that what the Immortal essence did? He couldn’t do that to Anna. It would kill her. Why, oh why, did he have to be his father’s son?

But he was. And Anna was an Elder-Mistress. They would always have to share one another with others. Maybe he could fake his own death after he took care of Devin. Then he and Anna could?—

“Ready?”

Alex jumped at the sound of Sebastian’s voice. He turned and looked mournfully at his friend. “I can’t believe I did that.”

“Did what?”

“Fucked Irina.”

Sebastian studied Alex for a few minutes. “Alex, the first time is very difficult.” He chuckled. “We are sexual beings. Your body does not quite know what to do with it. But it will get more comfortable.” He took a step toward Alex. “Once you and Anna are reunited, you will need to do that with her.”

Alex gave him a horrified look. “I can’t use her like that.”

“With the right relationship, it is not using. She will want to give of herself.”

Sebastian’s words triggered a memory from long ago. Before he’d married Anna, they’d made love and Anna had tried to give him of herself. He didn’t know how he knew, or even if she knew at that point, but he had told her not to. That he didn’t need it. How had he known?

“She loves you, Alex. She will want to give it to you.”

“Will you fuck her first?”

“It would be a good idea if I did so every once in a while. Maintaining is much easier than re-doing. And it will give you the strength to fight Devin.”

That perked Alex’s ears. “Really?”

Sebastian nodded. “That is what he was taking from Anna that made him so powerful. You will still be limited until you become Elder, but you will be... more than yourself.”

Alex thought for a moment and then nodded. “Okay. But I won’t force her.”

“It is much more potent if she does it voluntarily. The two of you together...” Sebastian raised his eyebrows. “She is a very powerful Half-Immortal, though she does not know it. You will do great things.”

“I don’t want to do great things. I just want to be with her.”

Sebastian smiled. “That is okay. For now. You will change your mind eventually.”

Alex sighed, not wanting to discount the Immortal’s foresight, but wanting to focus on what he needed to do at that moment... “So, how does this work?” He wanted to see Anna.

Sebastian chuckled and moved behind him. “She will not see me. You can move as you normally would.” He put his hands on Alex’s shoulders. “Close your eyes.”

Alex did as Sebastian instructed and felt a simultaneous rush of dizziness and a tightening sensation, making him momentarily lose his balance.

He sensed the difference in his environment and slowly opened his eyes. He stood in a sunlit bedroom. Outside the tall windows, a sprawling cityscape stretched out before him. The Hudson River meandered along its banks a few blocks away. New York.

He turned. Anna lay on her bed, sleeping. The sight of the indentation on her right ring finger caused a pang in his chest, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. She looked different. Peaceful. He hadn’t seen her sleep in years. When they’d been together, he’d wake early just to watch her sleep. She’d been pregnant then. Oh, how his heart ached!

He longed to see how much she’d changed from the twenty-year-old girl he’d married. His hands clenched into fists. Devin would pay for what he’d done. As soon as he could, he would destroy that man. That animal . It was an insult to humanity to call him a man.

But for now, he needed to do what he came here to do. “Anna,” he said softly. He reminded himself that he needed to speak English and hoped she’d be able to understand him.

Her eyes snapped open and she stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning her head in his direction. Oh, his sweet Schatzi! She sat up and stared at him. “Alex!” She shook her head. “No. You left... you were gone.”

He nodded. “I had to. But I’m here again.”

She shook her head. “I’ve given you up. I’ve moved on.”

His eyes unconsciously moved to her empty ring finger and his heart grew heavy. “Don’t give up on me, Anna. Please. We’ll be together soon.”

“How can we be together? You’re dead.” She shook her head again. “No, Alex. It’s time to stop dreaming of you. I have a wonderful man in my life. He’s alive and he cares for me.”

Her words were a dull knife in his heart. “Do you love him?” He winced at the crack in his voice. “Does he love you like I love you?”

“I-I don’t know if I love him. I might. It’s all so... different now. I’m different.” She looked up at him, fear filling her eyes. “I killed my guardian,” she whispered.

Alex walked over before he realized what he was doing. How he wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be alright! Instead, he kneeled next to her bed. “Does he love you as I love you?” he repeated.

Tears filled her eyes. “He’s alive,” she whispered.

“What if I were still alive, Anna? What if I walked back into your life tomorrow? Would you take me back?” He hated the desperation in his voice, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t lose her.

“But you’re not,” she whimpered.

“But if I was?”

She didn’t answer right away. She stared out the window, her lower lip trembling. He could almost feel the turmoil in her heart and it pained him to no end.

“Anna?”

She closed her eyes for a long moment and then opened again. His heart leaped at the love in her eyes. “I don’t know.”

Alex searched her eyes. She hadn’t rejected him outright. Her hesitation troubled him, but what else could he do? Forced love was no love at all. Winning her back would be more difficult than he’d imagined. “I will always love you, Schatzi .” He reached out to touch her cheek, and she vanished from his sight.

Alex sucked in a breath and forced his eyes open. He was back in his bedroom. He stared at the floor and fell to his knees in grief. Would he be able to gain her love back? Gain her trust back? Was she reluctant to love him, or was she afraid to? After all, he’d been gone for so long...

“Alex?”

Alex looked up at Sebastian. “She doesn’t know if she’d take me back,” he said in a cracked voice.

“She’s afraid.”

Alex nodded. He stared at the floor for another minute, then stood as determination filled his veins. “What do I need to do to get ready?”

Anna stared at the ceiling. Why had she seen Alex again? Was her mind telling her that she needed to be honest before she went any further with Hugo? Was she afraid to go deeper with Hugo? She adored him and the last thing in the world she wanted to do was hurt him. He meant so much to her.

But the previous night had been a reality check. Even though she was Katrina now, wasn’t she really just pretending? Hugo thought of her as someone who had been abused, and while it was true, there was so much more to her story than the abuse. Once she was freed from Devin, would she cease to be an Elder-Mistress? Would she just become Wilhelm’s Mistress? Or would she be free to live her life as she wanted? Only one person could answer those questions.

She picked up her phone from the nightstand and dialed Wilhelm.

“Hello, Anna.” He didn’t sound surprised to hear from her.

“Hello, Wilhelm.”

“What can I help you with?”

She hesitated. Did she really want to know the answer to the questions? She sighed. For Hugo’s sake, yes. “Once I’m free from Devin... will I be free?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean... will I be free to live my life as I want to, or... will I still be an Elder-Mistress?”

“Ah.” There was a pause, and then a sigh. “You will still be an Elder-Mistress. Your father gave you to us, to protect you, ja , but that gift cannot be undone. You will still belong to me.”

Anna swallowed several times and wiped away a tear. “So... I’ll never be free?”

“ Nein , Anna. I am sorry.”

“Oh.”

“My son is not a cruel Master, Liebling ,” he added softly. “I think you will be happy when all is said and done.”

Anna tried to smile through her tears. “Yes... I-I know.” Kurt was a good man. He loved her. She loved him. “I’m sorry for how I spoke to you, Wilhelm.”

“Thank you for saying that, Anna. I know I hurt you terribly by not being there for you. I am truly sorry for that.”

“I wish you were going to be here tonight.”

“It is what I wish as well. I had been planning on coming and surprising you, but with what happened with Jack... it is too risky.”

“I understand.” And she did. She knew he would be here if he could. “Well, I need to get back to the theater. Thank you for answering my questions.”

“Anytime, Liebling ,” he said tenderly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She ended the call and put the phone down on her bed and drew her knees to her chest. How did she tell Hugo the truth?

Alex knocked on his father’s study door and walked inside after Vati invited him in. His father sat behind his desk, a pensive look on his face. “Anna called.”

“Oh?”

Vati frowned and shook his head. “She’s accepted the fact that she’ll never be free, but she’s hurt.”

“We don’t know that she’ll never be free. Maybe?—?”

“Her father gave her to us—to me—to be an Elder-Mistress.” Vati frowned. “I cannot undo what we did to protect her.”

Alex sat down hard in the chair across from his father. “So she’ll always be a slave?” Vati nodded and Alex closed his eyes. “I don’t want her to be a slave.”

“We don’t have to treat her as such, but there’s no way to undo it.”

“What about the bonding ritual? And not performing it?”

Vati sighed. “By not performing it, she will remain autonomous, but she will still be a slave and Mistress.” He glanced at Alex. “That’s what she asked about when she called—if she’d ever be free. I had to tell her no.”

Alex winced. “How did she take it?”

“As well as could be expected.”

Alex ran his hands through his hair and then leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “I wish I could go to her and tell her everything would be alright. Eventually.” Vati opened his mouth, but Alex held up his hand. “I know why I can’t.” He clenched his jaw. “I just hate how I have to stay away from her to protect her.” He clasped his hands together and stared as his skin turned white and pink with the pressure. “You can’t visit her. I can’t be with her.” He looked up. “What do we do to assure her everything will be okay without revealing too much?”

Vati stayed quiet for several minutes, then grimaced. “Perhaps we should send your brother.”

“Kurt?” Alex sat up. “To do what?”

“To visit her. To reassure her in person that we love her.” He scrunched his face. “To give her some connection to us.”

Alex sat back in the chair. “Do you think he would?”

Vati shrugged. “He’s been restless since you returned. Perhaps giving him something to do might... help him not feel so out of place. So displaced.”

The idea of sending his brother in his stead—again—didn’t sit well with Alex, but Vati was right. Kurt had been displaced by his return. “I suppose it doesn’t hurt to ask.”