Chapter 103

Anna went for a walk late Sunday morning and, after she’d eaten, found herself at the library again. Something about the big white marble building soothed her whirring mind. She had finished the book she’d borrowed the previous week, and wandered around the third floor until she found a section on ballet. She settled down on the floor between the tall wooden bookshelves and pulled one of the picture books into her lap.

“You can check those books out, you know.”

Anna looked up to see a slim man with thinning gray hair and wire-rimmed glasses looking down at her. His gray suit looked almost too big for his tiny frame.

“Or we have more comfortable chairs over there.” He motioned behind him.

Anna smiled shyly. “I know . . . I just . . . It’s quiet here.”

The man chuckled. “Yes, it can get a little noisy on the weekends. People don’t seem to understand what quiet means anymore.”

Anna smiled. “I can imagine.”

“You were just here last week, weren’t you?”

Anna’s eyes widened. “Yeah. I liked it so much I came back. It’s a beautiful building.”

The man leaned his shoulder against the end of the bookcase. “It is. I couldn’t imagine working anywhere else.”

“You work here? What a wonderful job to have!”

He tilted his head and studied her, then nodded with a smile. “I’m Max. Max Richardson. I’m the head librarian here.”

Anna stood and shook his hand. “A—Katrina. I just moved here from California.”

“California, eh? That’s quite a change. What brought you to New York?”

“Oh, uh . . . dancing.” She shrugged sheepishly.

“Ballet?” He grinned, glancing down at the book in her hands.

Anna smiled down at the book. “Yeah. I just joined the ballet company.”

“Wow. That’s quite impressive.”

Anna didn’t get the sense that Max was trying to flirt or come on to her at all. He was just a nice, friendly older gentleman. “Thank you.”

“I take my granddaughters to The Nutcracker every year. They love it.”

“I understand The Nutcracker is very different here than what I’m used to.” She laughed. “Well, everything is very different here.”

Max laughed with her. “Yes, the east and west coasts do tend to be quite different. We’re a bit more... uptight.”

Anna liked Max. He was funny and didn’t seem uptight in the least.

Max studied her for a long moment. “Why’s a pretty thing like you hanging out in a library on a weekend?”

Anna bit her lip. “I like reading. I haven’t been to a library in years and...” She sighed. “There’s nothing like it.”

The man chuckled again. “You’re an unusual young woman.”

“I’ve been told that.”

He smiled. “Have you been on the tour?”

“Oh, yes. It was wonderful.” Anna sighed. “I was going to go again, but I got here too late.”

Max chuckled. “I’ll let you get back to your reading. I was just curious about you. Most young people don’t come in two weeks in a row.” He gave her a last smile and then walked away.

Anna smiled and then sat down again on the floor to finish looking through the book, happy to have found a new friend.

Aaron was at the apartment when she returned. She ran to him, hugging him tightly. “I missed you.” She gazed up at him. “How was your trip?”

He smiled, but not as enthusiastically as she’d expected. “Good. Interesting. Dancing went really well.” He glanced at the kitchen table. “Who got you the flowers?”

Anna followed his gaze and smiled, remembering Hugo standing at the apartment door with the huge bouquet of spring flowers. “Hugo. He brought them last night before he took me out to dinner.”

“Oh.” Aaron frowned and stepped away from her. “Are you guys dating?”

She blinked in confusion at his sudden coldness. “I—I don’t know. We went out a few times after practice. Why are you upset?”

Aaron turned and walked to the window, hands in his hair on top of his head. After a pause, he lowered his hands and turned around to face her, his eyes filled with fiery emotion. “God, Anna, you get here... I have to leave for a week— one week! —and when I get home, you already have a boyfriend.”

“I don’t think he’s?—?”

“I have waited and waited and waited for another chance with you.” He stormed across the room and grabbed her upper arms. “I was your first boyfriend, and we never got a chance to try again like we said we would. You kept pushing me away. I thought—?” He paused and swallowed, lowering his voice. “I thought, with you moving out here, that we could give ‘us’ a chance again. But no!” he spat, his voice growing louder once more. “You have to go out and—?” He turned away again, silent for a long moment as his chest heaved. When he spoke again, she could barely hear him. “God, Anna, don’t I ever get a second chance?”

Anna stared at his back, speechless. “Aaron, I didn’t know you wanted??—?”

“You didn’t know?” He spun around. “Bullshit, Anna. You can read men like a billboard, and you’re gonna try to claim you don’t know that I’m still in love with you?”

Anna’s chest tightened. “You’re my best friend?—?”

“I don’t want to be your best friend, Anna,” he snapped. “That’s a death sentence to a guy.”

Anna blinked, her heart shriveling in her chest at his harsh tone. He was so angry. At her. He’d never been angry with her before.

“ I am the one Alex asked to watch over you. I’m the one Wilhelm asked to watch over you. God!” He whirled back around and looked out the window. “Can’t you just be single for a while before you go off fucking some new guy?”

Anna flinched as if he had hit her. “I haven’t slept with Hugo.” Her jaw trembled, but she lifted her chin and fisted her hands. “He kissed me. That’s it.”

Aaron snorted and turned back to look at her, a sneer on his face. “You can’t go a week without fucking someone. You don’t need to lie about it.”

Anna pressed her hand hard to her heart as the air rushed out of her lungs. She gulped for oxygen. “Why would I lie about something like that?” After Tommy’s visit, her desire for sex had vanished. He had used her and left. She didn’t want to feel that way again. She had successfully deflected the physical need with her own hand several times, but hadn’t been tempted to go out and find someone.

He looked down and stared at her hand. “You took your wedding ring off?”

She glanced down and then back at Aaron, tears filling her eyes, desperate for him to understand. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Aaron. I’m sorry I did. But you are my best friend, Aaron. You’re one of a handful of people here who know what I really am. Please don’t be angry with me. I need you.”

Aaron sighed. “I’m not angry. I’m jealous.”

“Jealous?”

He nodded. “I was thinking about you all week, and was looking forward to coming home and... being with you, and then I saw the flowers and I thought I’d missed my chance. Again.” His jaw clenched. “I wanted the chance to ask you out. To see if there is still anything between us.”

Anna stepped close and cupped Aaron’s cheek. “I love being with you. I love spending time with you. I love that I live with you.” She smiled. “I do love you, Aaron. With all of my heart. I can’t imagine being here without you. You broke my heart when you left to come live out here.” She looked up into his denim-blue eyes. “I want to find out, too. But I also want to... figure out who I am. To find out what it means to make my own choices. To not be defined as ‘Devin’s Mistress’ or ‘sex slave’ or even ‘Alex’s wife.’” She swallowed. “I’ve never just been... me.”

“You’ve never had a chance to be you...” Aaron’s shoulders slumped and he pulled her close, resting his cheek against the top of her head. “I understand. I’m sorry for getting upset. It was wrong of me.”

“You’ve put up with so much from me. From the very beginning. And I am so thankful for you. You’ve always loved me for who I really am.” She sighed. “But to be honest, I think Wilhelm will expect me to marry Kurt when I’m freed from Devin.”

“Oh.” He was quiet for a few minutes and then laughed. “Then you’re like the runaway princess that’s clinging to her last few minutes of freedom before she’s forced into a loveless marriage.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Marriage to Kurt wouldn’t be a loveless marriage.”

He shrugged. “I know. But the story doesn’t work that way. What’s the point of running away from a love-filled marriage?”

“Because even though the princess knows that her future husband will make her happy, she still was imprisoned by an evil sorcerer.” She giggled. “And she wants to see the world before she assumes her new duties.”

Aaron laughed. “I suppose that’s a legitimate story plot.”

He pulled away and they grinned at each other.

“Of course, the princess has to have her trusty best friend to watch out for her during her explorations,” Anna said. “And with that may come some side benefits, if the best friend is interested.” She grinned mischievously.

Aaron grinned. “What kind of benefits?”

Anna took a step forward and ran her hands up his chest and around his neck. She rose up on tiptoe and kissed his ear. “Fantastic sex.”

Aaron pulled her closer. “You really went all week without sex?”

Anna nodded. “My fingers are a very poor substitute, but yeah. That and...” She told Aaron what had happened with Tommy, and how she had felt afterward.

“Oh, hon. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me when I called?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t want to bother you while you were out of town. I... it’s still my duty to please the Elders... Isn’t it?” Doubt reared its ugly head.

Aaron frowned. “Katrina isn’t an Elder-Mistress.”

“But Anna is.”

“Then don’t be Anna.”

She smiled wryly. “You make it sound so easy, but I was doing pretty well before...” She sighed. She didn’t want Aaron to feel bad.

“Until I started yelling at you?” He shook his head. “It was so wrong of me to do that. I’m so sorry. If I do that again, slap me.”

Anna shook her head with a smile. “I don’t know if I could do that.”

A grin spread over his face. “If I were your Master, I would command you to.”

She grinned. “Katrina doesn’t have a Master.” She playfully wagged her eyebrows.

“That’s true.” He grinned. “So me and Katrina will be friends with benefits?” He brushed his lips against hers.

“What does that mean?” Her heart raced at his touch.

“It means...” He ran his hands down her back. “We go into my room and fuck because it feels good, but no one else knows because I don’t want Katrina to get a reputation, but I also know that Anna really needs to be touched on a regular basis.”

“That’s quite the definition.” She trailed her fingers down his chest, circling a finger around one of his nipples, making him moan softly.

“It seemed appropriate. I really want you to be respected, hon. You don’t need gossip spreading about you. Not here.”

“Thanks.” She kissed him again. “I think I could do that. Can you?”

“Mmm,” he murmured against her lips. “Yeah.” He kissed her again and then took her hand and led her to his bedroom.