Chapter 102

Anna leaned her head on the barre and gulped for air. She’d never been so tired from practicing before. Then again, she’d never had so much one-on-one attention before.

It was Monday afternoon, and she and Hugo had been dancing since ten-thirty that morning with only a brief break for lunch. She didn’t know how much more she could take.

“C’mon, Kittycat. One more time and we’ll call it a day.”

She smiled at the nickname he’d come up with for her. If nothing else, her new name certainly allowed for interesting variations.

Hugo handed her a towel to wipe her face. “You’re doing fantastic. Don’t give up.”

Anna frowned and arched a brow at him as she patted her face. “I don’t understand how you move so fast. I don’t think my body was made for that.”

He gave her that brilliant grin of his. “You’d be surprised. You’ll get it. We have all week.” His topaz eyes glinted with humor.

“A week, huh?” She couldn’t help but grin back. His smiles were contagious. “Alright.” She groaned as she straightened.

“After we’re done, I’ll buy you dinner. How does that sound?”

Anna smiled. “Okay.”

He chuckled as he walked to the front of the room and nodded to the pianist. The music began and Anna danced. She hoped it would become as exhilarating as it seemed it should be soon.

By Saturday afternoon, Anna’s confidence had grown. Something had clicked that morning and she finally “got it.” Hugo cheered as she finished the dance.

“That was... amazing, Katrina. Truly amazing.” He came to stand in front of her with a huge smile on his dark face. His voice softened. “I knew you could do it, Kittycat.”

Anna gazed up into his eyes, her heart fluttering. They’d spent hours and hours and hours together this week, and she had grown quite fond of him. She smiled and turned to get her water bottle, but he grabbed her hand.

“Dance with me,” he said, his voice low. He glanced at Suzie, the pianist. “ Giselle , second act.”

Anna shook her head. “No, I can’t...” She’d spent all week trying to immerse herself into Katrina, and that dance was too much a part of Anna.

The music started and she closed her eyes as it swirled around her like a silk ribbon, powerless to resist. Her body moved of its own accord, her eyes still closed, remembering. She danced for Alex, mourning for him, as if dancing could somehow heal the jagged wound in her heart that his death had left. She barely felt Hugo dancing with her, lifting her, feeling as if she were dancing with a ghost. The ghostly memory of her beloved Alex.

When the music ended, she opened her eyes and realized she had danced blindly the entire time. Tears burned her eyes, and she turned away so Hugo wouldn’t see.

“Who was he?” He held her hand to keep her from escaping.

She turned back. “Who was who?”

“The one you danced for. I could... feel your emotions. You were mourning.” He shook his head. “I’ve never seen anyone dance like you do.”

He watched her expectantly as she wiped her eyes. “My husband,” she said softly, her voice cracking on the last syllable. “Alex. He died four years ago... almost exactly four years ago.” It was the beginning of April. Almost to the day when Wilhelm came to the studio to tell her Alex was gone.

“You must have married very young.”

“I was twenty.” She looked down at her ring and shook her head. “We weren’t even married for three months when he died. I keep asking myself why I still wear my wedding ring.” She couldn’t bring herself to take it off, even though Devin wasn’t around to make her wear it. “He meant the world to me,” she added softly.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.” She sighed. “You must think I’m silly, hanging on to him for so long.”

“Sometimes people leave such a deep imprint on our hearts that they never go away.” Hugo gave her a sad smile and the pain showing in his eyes made her wonder if there was someone who had made him feel the same way.

Maybe that’s what it was. Alex had touched her in such a way that her heart had been permanently altered. Did moving on— really moving on—betray his love? Betray her love for him? It had been four years. Perhaps it was finally time to let him go. Letting go didn’t mean she didn’t love him anymore. It didn’t mean that he hadn’t impacted her life—Alex had impacted her life unlike anyone else had. And that was okay.

She smiled up at Hugo, her chest lightened by the thought. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“What you just said. It... made sense suddenly.”

Alex would want her to be happy. He’d told her that many times. And now that she was free from Devin... Maybe she really could leave her past behind her and start over.

Anna lay in bed later that night, pensive and rubbing the indentation on her right ring finger. When she’d returned home from rehearsal that afternoon, she’d decided it really was time to move on. It was a bittersweet moment when she removed the ring. She’d kissed it and put it in her new memory box, next to Alex’s wedding ring.

Hugo had taken her out to dinner and a movie, and she’d had a wonderful time. He was sweet and funny and a “normal” man who knew nothing about her past. It was the first time she’d gone on a date without the obligations of being an Elder-Mistress looming over her.

When he’d walked her to her apartment door that night, she didn’t invite him in, reminding herself that she was under no obligation to sleep with him

But he had kissed her.

Anna touched her mouth, remembering his soft-yet-firm lips on hers. He’d tasted of the popcorn they’d shared at the movie. The kiss was gentle, tentative even, and made her head spin a little. He hadn’t pressed himself against her, or done anything other than hold her hand. Strange. Foreign. But exhilarating.

She smiled and drifted off to sleep.

It was the room again. Anna hadn’t seen it in months. It was different, though. Empty. The bed was stripped down to the mattress. The dresser stood empty, devoid of any books or personal items.

Alex was gone.

Anna’s eyes snapped open in the dark room. Alex was gone? How could someone be gone from a dream? But there was no doubt about it. No one lived there anymore.

Maybe it was a sign she’d made the right decision; that she’d finally let him go. She didn’t need him in her dreams any longer.

The thought was bittersweet.

Alex would always be in her heart, but she could move on now. Her mind had released him.