Chapter 5

Heather

He's trying to trick you. To drain you until you are dead.

But what if I could be free of this feeling, for even a day?

You'll die. Haven't you learned not to trust people by now?

He doesn't need to trick you, he can just reach out and touch you. He's so close.

The thoughts warred in my head until I realized I'd been quiet for a long time. He was peering at me. The skeletal face was hard to read, but the blue glowing eyes seemed almost sad. It was ridiculous to let a lich drain your energy. I knew that. But the thought of being free from my anxiety was so tempting. The memory of the dream that I'd had about him flashed into my head. My face flushed hot. Some part of me, no doubt a self sabotaging part, wanted to touch him. Wanted to lose myself to him. I'd never expected to find myself drawn to power and danger, and that unsettled me.

"I'm sorry, but I think that would be unwise. I'm your therapist and you're my client. We should keep things professional."

"The offer is always open."

"That's… kind. Thank you."

I sucked in a deep breath of air to calm myself, but I was unnerved. He'd said he could see my energy. Could he read everything in it? That dream pushed its way into my head again. My body reacted and arousal started to creep in. Surely he coudn't see that? His translucent lips seemed to twitch up in a smirk. I blushed even harder.

"You are embarrassed by your feelings for me?"

He spoke with a slight edge to his voice that sent a shiver up my spine. I didn't know how to respond.

"If it helps, I'm feeling them too."

My stomach flipped. I felt like I was suddenly drowning. Overwhelmed by my feelings, and all I wanted to do was reach out to him. To have him hold me and make it better. Realization dawned, and a curse popped out of me before I could stop it.

"Oh fuck."

He smiled.

"I see you have reached the same conclusion that I have."

"What's that?"

Panic began to set in. This couldn't be happening.

"Fate has brought us together. We are destined."

My heart hammered in my chest like it was trying to escape. The thought crossed my mind that maybe it wanted to get to him.

"I was told by the seer that my mate was dead."

"I have indeed died. Opinions vary about whether I am dead or undead. Technicalities. I am certainly not alive anymore. But you are bringing parts of me back to life. My feelings. My desires."

"She said that I could choose to do whatever I wanted with my life."

"Because your choices would bring us together anyway, I expect."

I felt like the room was spinning out of control and I was going to fall over.

Why isn't there enough air in here? I'm suffocating.

Pain shot through my chest.

This is it. I'm dying.

No, you always have chest pain with anxiety attacks. It's fine.

No, I'm dying this time.

No, no, no.

Vedrac stood and reached out a bony hand.

"Let me help you, love."

Love. I stood, started to reach towards him, flooded with desperation. Then, without even a conscious thought, I turned and ran straight out the room. I heard the voice of a guard shouting after me, but I kept running. I slammed my pass at the gates to open them and kept going until I reached my quarters. As soon as the door closed behind me, I collapsed to the floor and lay there struggling to breathe.

Oh, gods, please stop. Please just let me breathe.

After a few minutes my door opened and I looked up into the face of Lyla.

"Oh, honey. They said you were upset."

I burst into tears. Huge sobs racking my body. She lay down on the floor and wrapped her arms around me. Squeezing me tight.

"Breathe with me. In. Out. In. Out."

I followed her instructions as best as I could. It took what felt like an eternity. But the tightness of her arms and the cool floor began to ground me, and I eventually felt like I could breathe again. The tears dried up and my body loosened.

"Did he hurt you?"

"NO! No, not at all. I just… urgh. I don't know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet."

"Do you want me to take him as my client?"

"No. I need to see this through."

I pulled myself back up to a sitting position.

"I'll be okay."

"I know."

Lyla pulled me to my feet. I knew what was coming.

"Let's go for a walk outside the prison."

"URGH."

"It's going to be great. You'll feel much better for it."

I knew she was right, but that didn't make me want to do it anymore. Why did she always have to be walking everywhere all the time? I wanted to crawl into bed. Before I could muster a retort, she had started threading my arm into a coat. I stood and refused to help, like a petulant toddler, while she pulled the rest of the coat on.

"Lovely. Let's go."

I looked out of the window of my little room. Rain was pouring now. She was going to make me walk in it, I could tell. Rain never stopped her.

"Okay. But I need to make a quick stop on the way out. And we are taking umbrellas."