TWENTY-TWO Jessie

TWENTY-TWO

Jessie

RAVI: What are you doing next weekend again?

JESSIE: For Thanksgiving break? Nothing. I can't go back to Texas, so I'm probably going to have dinner with Tanvi's parents while you're with your folks.

RAVI: About that. They want to meet you.

JESSIE: Um ... I thought you weren't going to tell them about us yet?

RAVI: I didn't. Sahdna said something because our parents are pressuring us to date again. Besides, she and Tanvi are spending Thanksgiving together.

JESSIE: Ravi, I don't know if that's the best idea.

RAVI: You're the only future engineer I know who isn't interested in meeting the Kumar family.

JESSIE: It's a commitment I don't think either of us are ready for yet. I mean we JUST started seeing each other.

RAVI: We started seeing each other the first day of the semester. Besides. It's the twenty-first century. I promise my parents won't read too much into it.

JESSIE: Bullshit. We aren't like our friends without color. Our culture is different.

RAVI: What's wrong with wanting my parents to meet my girlfriend, Jessie?

RAVI: You're important to me. I really want you to be there. Please?

JESSIE: Ugh. Fine. But not on Thanksgiving. Maybe that Wednesday before we all leave for the holiday. Okay?

RAVI: That's perfect. Thank you. I know I'm asking a lot.

Jessie wasn't able to sleep a full night for the few days leading up to the dinner with Ravi's parents. Every horrible outcome played through her head like a bad movie. What if they thought she was some gold digger and hated her so much they convinced the dean to cancel her scholarship? What if they threatened her father's business if she didn't leave their son alone? No, what if they hated her so much that Ravi saw the truth about how both of them were so ill-suited for each other?

"You look incredible," Tanvi said. She sat on her bed, cross-legged, with an open suitcase sitting in front of her. "I'm so glad you found that black dress."

Jessie let out a deep breath as she looked at her reflection in the small rectangular mirror that hung over her standard-issue armoire door. She'd bought the dress from the Macy's sales rack and had barely examined her reflection in the dressing room before she was out the door.

But now she saw how the slim black dress hugged her curves from neck to calves. Tanvi had let her borrow a small black clutch along with a pair of black boots that were both fashionable and practical for the weather.

She wore her mother's hoops. She rarely had an opportunity to put them on, but they were a gift from her grandmother to her mother on her wedding day.

And for the first time in her life, she had styled her hair into curls that fell down her back. That was also thanks to Tanvi's help. Her roommate had called it a late Diwali gift since Jessie's relationship with Ravi had introduced her to Sahdna. She'd even agreed to stay on campus for an extra night before driving home for the holidays just in case Jessie needed help getting ready.

Jessie felt her phone vibrate in her clutch and turned to her roommate. "I should head downstairs," she said. "I wouldn't be prepared for this without you. Thank you for all of your help. I don't have a lot of people in my life, because I know I can be a little uh, focused on work, but that just means the friends I do have are so important to me. I'll never forget this."

She winced as Tanvi's eyes began to water. She hadn't planned on making her roommate cry, and now she was worried that this was going to be a regular occurrence between them. Tanvi didn't seem to care that she was backing away and got off the bed and opened her arms for a hug. "Be careful with your heart," she whispered in Jessie's ear. "Please be careful."

"I will," Jessie said, even though she had a feeling that it might be too late when it came to her feelings about Ravi.

With one last look at her reflection in the mirror, Jessie left her room and rushed down the stairs to meet Ravi. When she pushed through the building's front doors, she saw him leaning against the back of a black sedan. The windows were tinted, and the rims were a shiny chrome. It was fitting for the way he looked under the streetlight: a fitted suit with an open white shirt, French cuffs with cuff links, pressed trousers, and black leather sneakers.

"Hi," she said, coming to a stop three feet from him.

"Wow," he said, his eyes widening. "Hi. You look incredible."

She swayed side to side, enjoying the feel of the dress hugging her skin. "Thanks, but don't get used to it. I'll be back in a sweatshirt and jeans in no time."

"You look great in those things, too."

She didn't wear a coat or even a shawl, and the exposed skin above the wide boat neck of her dress began to goose pimple from the chilly November air. "Any chance we can get going?"

He jumped into action and rounded the car so he could open the door for her. Like the princess she felt like she could never be, Jessie approached the car, then on a whim, she stood on her toes and pressed a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw.

"Thank you for finding me in that study room," she whispered.

"If you trust me, then I'll show you how awesome things can be outside of that study room, too."

As long as you stay with me.

This unspoken thought hung in the air between them as she slid across the buttery leather of the back seat until she was leaning against the opposite door. Ravi took his time getting back in the vehicle and shut the door with a quick thud. They were encased in darkness as the driver pulled away from the curb and onto the road.

"So," she said as they cruised down Main Street, "what's with the fancy vehicle? Why couldn't we drive or take a car service?"

His beautiful face was illuminated by brief flashes of streetlights. He turned to face her, his hand outstretched as if he couldn't stop himself from wanting to touch her to make sure she was still there. "The restaurant doesn't really have great parking, and I feel like my parents would spend the first fifteen minutes of our dinner talking about how unsafe it is to get into some stranger's car."

"Don't they own a ride-share company? I thought I read something in Forbes."

"My brother does," Ravi said. Jessie saw the slow movement of his throat.

"And even then, your family worries?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

The fact that his parents worried about his safety felt so ... normal. But she knew this was an illusion. She remembered the way he'd told her how often he was alone growing up. How they rarely cared what he wanted and what he said was best for him.

"Hey, what did you tell your parents about me?"

Ravi squeezed her hand. "I just said that you were probably the most surprising thing that I've ever had in my life and I'm grateful that you're a part of it now."

She felt her heart melt just a little bit and had to work at reinforcing the ice that she'd encased around her feelings. "Didn't they ask about what I was studying? What my parents did for a living? If it's going to be like an interview, then I'm screwed."

Ravi swallowed. "They did, and I answered honestly. They're very impressed, by the way. And no, they'll probably do most of the talking."

Great, she thought. At least that was something. But she knew that her interest in engineering would also highlight the fact that Ravi hadn't picked an internship yet.

The car pulled up a few minutes later in front of an Italian restaurant at the edge of town. As cliché as it was, Jessie assumed they'd be going to an Indian restaurant. But maybe they were looking for something different.

Ravi opened the door, pulling her out of her thoughts. He helped her slide out from the back seat and get her bearings on the sidewalk before he shut the door and tucked one of her hands under his arm.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

No."Yes."

"Great," he said, and sucked in a deep breath. She did the same as they strolled into the restaurant and toward the private room at the back that was monitored by two large men in suits flanking the door. They had to be security.

The first person she saw was Neeraj Kumar. The man who had periodically made an appearance on her parents' television stood from his seat at the end of the table. The handsome features of his youth had become more rugged and distinguished with age. He didn't bother crossing the room or hugging his son. Instead, he greeted them in a booming voice.

"Ravi."

The next person to stand was one of the most beautiful women Jessie had ever seen. Ravi's mother was a vision in a sleek column dress and diamond stud earrings. Unlike Ravi's father, she rounded the table and crossed the room so she could wrap her son in a hug that showed she didn't give two damns about the way she looked if she could hold her child.

The last people to get up from the table were Ravi's older brother and a woman who, Jessie learned just that morning when she was doing a Google search, was his girlfriend.

"Papa, Mumma," Ravi said, an arm still around his mother's waist. "I want you to meet Jessie Ahuja."

Jessie braced herself for a cold front, a frigid smile dripping with ice. Instead, she found herself enveloped in the same hug Ravi had just received. She caught the delicate scent of jasmine flowers before she took a step back and clasped her hands in front of her.

"Jessie," Ravi's father said in that same booming voice. He nodded.

"Thank you so much for inviting me to dinner tonight. I really appreciate it."

"We're really curious about you, so it's our pleasure," Ravi's older brother said.

Jessie approached the table and accepted the handshakes from Arjun Kumar and his girlfriend before sitting down between Ravi and Ravi's mother.

They ordered wine because Ravi had been drinking it since he was eighteen, at least in front of his parents. Then they asked the chef to deliver what he thought was best. Jessie's chest tightened as she watched everyone's focus shift to her.

"So," Ravi's father said. "Jessie, Ravi tells me you just started at the university and you're in his nonfiction writing class."

"Ah, yes," she said, even though she could feel Ravi tense by her side.

"And you're in the engineering school?" Arjun asked. "Software or hardware?"

"I'm not sure yet, so I front-loaded my gen-ed courses. I'm hoping to get a better idea based on the internships I can get over the summer."

She winced the minute she said the word internship. Jessie tried to reach under the table to touch Ravi's knee, but he was too far away from her. She saw how his jaw had tightened.

"Well, at least one of you has common sense," Arjun said before he sipped at the glass of table water.

Jessie had to bite her lip to stop from telling him to shove his sarcasm up his ass.

"Oh, don't start pestering him so soon," Ravi's mother said. "Right now, I want to get to know Jessie."

"Your father owns a sandwich shop, Jessie?" Ravi's father asked.

She could see Ravi tense again. At this rate, his spine was going to crack.

Jessie turned to the man she had always considered larger than life. It was so surreal sitting so close to him, seeing him as her boyfriend's father instead of just another tech genius to walk the planet.

"Yes, my father owns a franchise location," Jessie said. "It's in Houston. Both of my parents were engineers before the market crashed and they lost their jobs. For employment safety, they ended up pivoting into food services. They've been doing pretty well for themselves, and they're happy."

There was that awkward silence that she had anticipated. The one that told her that Ravi's parents didn't think her background was good enough for her to be dating their son.

"They must be really proud of you for getting a full scholarship," Arjun's girlfriend said. She wore an elegant blue dress, her hair parted down the middle and pulled back in a tight bun. She looked like the perfect partner, a daughter-in-law in the making.

"My parents are really proud of me," Jessie said as the waiter presented the bottle of wine to Ravi's father. "They know that even though I have no intention of taking over the family business, they taught me everything I know to succeed after I graduate."

Ravi's father lifted his glass, smelled the wine, then swirled it while making a show of examining the coloring. He nodded, and the waiter began filling everyone's glass.

There was more silence. Someone coughed. Ravi shifted in the seat next to Jessie as if he wasn't sure what to say. She wanted to snap at him, to tell him that this is what she had warned him about.

"So when did you two start dating?" Ravi's father asked.

"A few months ago," Ravi said.

"Jessie, are you the reason why my brother hasn't chosen an internship?" Arjun asked with a laugh.

"Ravi knows how important the decision is to all of you. I think your pushing and interference is probably the reason why he hasn't chosen an internship, not me."

Her words landed like a bull's-eye hitting its target.

They hadn't even ordered dinner yet, and things were already uncomfortable. Jessie was regretting her decision to come at all. Even though Ravi had invited her, she should have stuck to her gut and skipped out on the Kumar family affair.

"I guess you're just going to parties all the time, then," Neeraj Kumar said, his frown deepening. "It's a good thing that I had that conversation with the dean at USC, because it looks like you may be transferring for your last year after all."

Jessie could feel the tension flooding Ravi's body, the tightening of his muscles, even though they were sitting nearly a foot apart. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, but she felt like if she did, they'd only blame him more for being distracted.

"I had midterms," Ravi said, his jaw so tense that Jessie swore she could hear his teeth grind. "And I'm working on a personal project."

His mother brightened, as if waiting for the opportunity to throw a lifeline to her son in these shark-infested waters. "Is it an app? Or are you working on a coding project? You always were so quick to learn new coding languages with your father," she said. "Tell us, beta. We want the opportunity to support you."

"Yeah, tell us," Arjun said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"I'm working on a novel, actually."

Their response was almost instantaneous. Jessie watched as both Arjun and Neeraj Kumar leaned back in their chairs and began to laugh. The sound was more cutting and hurtful than any words could have been.

"AI is going to make the entertainment industry obsolete," Arjun said. "Why would you waste your time with something like that? Dad was right. All those trashy books have rotted your brain."

"We're making this so easy for you," Neeraj said. "All you have to do is choose! It's like you're intentionally trying to be stubborn about it," he snapped.

"Well, prepare to be even more disappointed, then," Ravi said quietly. "Because I'm going to stay on campus this summer instead of working at either of your companies. I want to take some extra classes because I think I want to apply for a grad program in English."

If Jessie thought the table was silent before, she was pretty sure she'd now be able to hear a pin drop from down the block.

"What in the world do you need a graduate degree for?" Neeraj finally said. "In English? A field with zero financial stability? We're giving you more than most people could even dream of! My son, the only one in our whole family to waste such an opportunity."

Jessie couldn't hold back any longer. She shifted her chair closer to Ravi, and reached under the table and rested her palm against his thigh. Everyone around the table watched her with shocked expressions. That probably made them dislike her even more.

"I don't see it as an opportunity. I'm as passionate about this as you are about tech. You know I've always been a reader."

"That's true," Ravi's mother said faintly. "You've always had a book in your hand."

"So I should blame you for this?" Neeraj Kumar said, his voice hardening as he turned to his wife. "For coddling him like he's a baby?"

"Neeraj—"

How many times had this family been in a standoff similar to this where both brothers went head-to-head? Where Ravi's father acted like the Indian father that Jessie was lucky to only hear stories about?

"Jessie," the older man finally said, turning his wrath on her. "What do you think of Ravi's plans of going to graduate school?"

She couldn't lie to him. "If my family had the money and the stability and legacy that yours has, then my parents would want me to do whatever I wanted to do with my life. If that meant going to grad school, they would give me their blessing. I mean, why else would you want to be so successful and financially independent if not to support those you love?"

The man nodded. "Your parents don't have money and stability and legacy. They own a sandwich shop, which means that they'll never understand what it's like to be in our position."

"That's exactly my point—"

"My family runs companies," he continued. "We know that the way we've gotten to where we are is by making sacrifices and choosing the career path that will ensure our financial success."

"Your oldest son seems to have sacrificed for the next generation. When is it enough?"

"When both my sons are successful and stable and secure," Neeraj Kumar said, his voice raising with each word. "A decision that I made, and you don't have the right to question."

"Well, someone has to," Jessie said. Her ears were ringing, her breath coming fast. "Or is that how you run your company? By demanding respect instead of earning it?"

The room was even quieter now than when she first walked in, and she knew that she'd destroyed any chance she had at all of playing nice with the Kumars.

"I see that your upbringing failed you in the manners department as well. I wonder, is your influence the reason why my son has made so many poor decisions?"

Jessie shot to her feet before she could think twice about it. She looked down at Ravi's face and knew.

"I'm so sorry, I have to go," she said to the man she'd fallen in love with. "Thank you so much for inviting me."

She reached down to grab her purse, then ran through the restaurant until she reached the parking lot. She didn't know exactly where she wanted to go, but anywhere would be better than here.

When she saw Sahdna walking toward the entrance, panic bubbled in her throat. She was wearing five-inch heels and a white dress that hugged her like a second skin. Sahdna's eyes widened when she caught sight of Jessie.

"Jessie? What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

Jessie stopped inches away from her. She looked over her shoulder and saw that no one had come out after her yet. "I was invited to have dinner with Ravi's parents."

She gasped. "You, too?"

The sickening truth slapped her in the face. "Of course," Jessie said, motioning to Sahdna. "They probably invited you to make Ravi realize he's dating the wrong girl."

She shook her head, her gorgeous waves floating over her shoulders and down her back. "Ravi and I are old news. But our families are still friends. I'm just doing this because my parents would kill me if I didn't play nice." She looked past Jessie to the door of the restaurant. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Jessie said. She couldn't hide her bitterness. "It was the reality check I needed." Even if Ravi loved her, there was absolutely no way he would go against his parents in the end. Because the truth was, he wasn't just fighting a battle with the two people who raised him. He was fighting the entire legacy his family had built within the Indian community. The Kumar tech conglomerate meant success for South Asians, and even though the notion that anyone could achieve what his parents had was somewhat false, it still offered hope. Jessie was living proof of that hope, whether she liked to admit it or not.

Sahdna looked back at the door, and to Jessie again. "What are you gonna do now?"

Jessie motioned to the road. "I'm just going to walk a block and call a car so no one can see me from the restaurant."

"No way," Sahdna said. "Ravi would have my head if he found out I let you go without someone driving you home." She opened her sleek white clutch and pulled out a small key fob. "Come on. Campus isn't too far from here. I'll take you home, and then I can swing back. It'll give them time to cool off."

Jessie nodded. Sahdna had obligations. She had her own demons to wrestle with. Of course she was going to come back.

"Just because I don't know if Ravi is going to come after me, I'll take that ride."

She nodded. "Good. Come on. I parked at the end of the lot."

With one last look at the restaurant door, Jessie followed Sahdna across the lot to the white Tesla Model Y. The interior revealed that Sahdna was as much of a clean freak as Ravi. Another thing they had in common.

A few seconds later, they were pulling out of the lot and back onto the highway that led to the campus.

"I'm sorry they put you in that position," Sahdna said quietly. "They can be really tough. But don't take it personally. They judge everyone. My parents are the same. I think it comes with the territory. They treat their families like their employees."

Jessie twisted her fingers in her lap, unsure of what to say in response.

Sahdna flipped on her turn signal and merged right. "He cares about you, you know. He would have never brought you here if he didn't think that you were important to him."

"I'm sure I am. But we all know that being at college is like living inside a bubble. What's going to happen when we leave? His parents sure seem to know this, and Ravi, no matter what he feels about me, is going to end up with someone his parents approve of." Jessie looked over at Sahdna meaningfully.

Sahdna merged onto the exit ramp and pulled to a stop at the light. She turned in her seat, her brown hair shimmering in the passing headlights. "I'm going to be straight with you, Jessie. I also don't think you deserve Ravi."

Jessie felt like she'd stopped breathing.

"Ravi deserves to be with someone who isn't so caught up in their own insecurities. You're so focused on the fact that you come from different worlds, that you don't have as much money as him, that you're driving a wedge between yourselves. From everything I know about you, you've done nothing but make him nervous that you're going to leave him any minute. Then the first shitty family dinner, you get up and run away. That's your right, but that doesn't mean Ravi deserves to have to put up with someone who doesn't support him the same way he's been supporting them."

"That's easy for you to say when you don't understand what it's like to be in my position."

"That's true," Sahdna replied. "But I know Ravi, and he needs someone he can trust will look past where he's come from. So no, I don't think that you deserve Ravi. I just hope you're not cruel and that you'll have the decency to put him out of his misery."

At that moment, the light changed, and Sahdna pressed her foot against the gas. Jessie felt the sick nausea in her gut that had started at dinner crawl into her throat.

Sahdna was right, she thought. She was the one who was driving a wedge between them with her constant concerns about how different they were.

She couldn't help but think about Divya and Christian. Ever since they had talked to Gayatri and Professor Barnard, Jessie worried that maybe the true love they found on campus wasn't enough to keep them together. She had to find out what happened to them.

That meant one thing. Jessie was going to break her promise to Ravi and read the rest of the letters on her own.