Chapter 9

Iclimb out of Oz’s car and open the door for Greg.

Oz walks over to Zig’s truck and opens the tailgate. Zig joins him after getting out of the truck, and they immediately start arguing, which has me rolling my eyes and Greg laughing.

“And before you ask, yes, they are always like this.”

“I figured that out at the toy store. You know, I only wanted to get a few things, not half the store. It’s going to take me forever to pay them back.”

“It will take longer than that because they won’t take a penny from you.”

“Stupid, stubborn ass men,” I grumble.

“It’s finally sinking in. Besides, after the chaos they caused, I think it’s only fair the store was compensated.”

I smile and shake my head, picturing Oz and Zig bouncing up and down the aisles on space hoppers, of all things.

“I’ve never seen anyone use those bouncy balls in real life before, let alone so competitively.”

“They’re twins, sweetheart. Everything is a competition with those two.”

“Poor Salem,” I sigh before I realize what I said.

Greg cracks up, drawing the attention of the two arguing fools.

“What’s so funny?” Oz asks.

“You mean other than your face?” Greg fires back.

“At least I get laid on the regular. When was the last time you got—” Zig elbows him in the chest before nodding to me.

“Shit. Fuck. I forgot.”

“I’m a big girl, Oz. I know what sex is. And even though I’m still a virgin, I even know what a cock is,” I mock just as I feel a presence behind me.

Turning, I look up to find Wilder staring at me and feel my face flame. I must be the color of a fucking tomato.

“Uh…hi,” I say lamely, praying for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. But alas, no such luck. So, I do what any self-respecting woman would do. I run. “Bye.”

I ignore the sounds of laughter and head inside. I slow my steps once I reach the kitchen and stop when both Delaney and Bella look up from the table where they’re sitting and coloring.

“Lara, you’re back,” Bella yells, jumping down from her chair and running over to throw herself at me.

I drop to my knees and wrap my arms around her, breathing her in before Delaney barrels into us. Pulling my arm free, I tug her in for a three-way hug before they both pull back and start questioning me.

“Where did you go?”

“Why didn’t you take me with you?”

“Did you get us anything?”

They ask the questions so fast I can barely keep up, making me laugh.

I stand up when I see Alfie approach me. He’s wearing his headphones, but he tugs them off when he’s in front of me. I wait him out, knowing he hates to be pushed.

“You came back.”

Unable to stop myself, I cup his chin, tilting his head back so that he can see the sincerity in my eyes. “I won’t always be able to take you with me, but I will always come back to you.”

“Everyone leaves, Lara,” he whispers, his pain far heavier than anyone his age should carry.

“I know. But I’ve never loved anyone like I love you—like I love all of you. No matter how far I go or for how long, I will always come home to you.”

“This is our home now?” he asks uncertainly.

Though I don’t take my eyes off Alfie, I can sense there are others in the room with us now. Not sure what’s going to happen—now or in the future—I pick my words carefully, knowing he won’t forget them.

“My home is where you are, be it in a fancy house or a cardboard box.”

He steps forward, wraps his arms around my stomach, and buries his head against my chest. I press a kiss to the crown of his head before he pulls back.

Tears fill my eyes, but I hold them back as he offers me a small smile and slips his headphones back on before moving back over to the sofa. As far as he’s come, he will always be on the introverted side. His social energy drains faster than others because his brain works overtime.

I look around for the girls, but instead, I find both Wilder and Crew watching me with an intensity that makes me take a step back. I mentally curse myself for doing it, but I don’t trust these guys. Worse, I don’t trust myself around them.

“Do Oz and Zig need help bringing everything in?”

“No, we’ve got it. Just wanted to know where you wanted it all,” Crew replies, his eyes dropping to my lips briefly.

“Here is good, I guess. If that’s okay. The kids don’t live with me anymore, remember, so I don’t have any say in where they’ll go.” I don’t manage to keep the bitterness or the hurt out of my voice.

“Lara—” Wilder starts, but I ignore him, looking down when a small hand slips into mine.

A sleepy Noah looks up at me before slipping his thumb into his mouth. I reach down and pick him up, sitting him on my hip, even though he’s far too heavy for me to hold for long, but when he snuggles into me and releases a contented sigh, I know I’ll find a way somehow. He might be eight, the same age as Delaney, but with how he was raised, he’s mentally much younger. He has time to catch up, and I’ll be damned if I let anyone push him just because they think he should be hitting milestones that other kids his age are. He had enough of that from father’s team.

The fact that he is as kind and thoughtful and sweet as he is after the abuse he’s known is a testament to the size of this small boy’s heart.

“You’ve been napping, huh? After my day of shopping, I’m ready for a nap myself,” I tell him.

He doesn’t answer, but he slips his thumb free from his mouth so he can play with a strand of my hair.

“Laraaa,” Bella drags out my name with more attitude in her tone than a six-year-old should be able to achieve.

“Did you get me a present? I’ve been really good.”

“You have been good. You all have. And I am so extraordinarily proud of all of you, which is why I asked Oz and Greg if they would take me to the toy store.”

I let my words sink in before she and Delaney start screeching, making poor Noah jolt in my arms.

Refusing to hide any longer, I look up and find Crew still watching me. Wilder is gone—probably letting Oz and Zig know where to bring the toys.

“Hey, Lara, are you hungry?”

I jump at the sound of Salem’s voice, not realizing she was in the room. I spot her sitting on a chair at the island, feeding her son, who is cradled in her arms.

“I’m good, but thank you. We ate at the diner and again when Oz insisted on going through the drive-thru.”

She rolls her eyes. “He never stops eating. I think he’s making up for when we were stranded in the jungle.”

What the fuck?

“And that’s also why I’ll never eat another mango in my life ever again.” Oz shudders as he walks in, his arms full of toys.

“Oz! Are those toys for us?” Bella asks excitedly, and Noah lifts his head to see what’s going on.

“They sure are. And there’s a bunch more outside. So you might want to move out of the way so you don’t get accidentally squished.”

“You can’t squish me, silly. I’m not a bug,” she huffs, rolling her eyes.

“And here was me thinking you’re a beautiful butterfly.”

“Laying it on there a little thick there, aren’t you, big guy?” Salem mumbles.

“I’m just making sure I’m her favorite.”

Crew jumps in. “You can’t buy her love, Oz.”

“Yes, he can. You can, Oz. Next time, I think I’d like a pony.”

“Bella,” I scold gently.

“I’m just letting him know, Lara.”

Before I can say anything else, Zig and Wilder, walk in with their arms filled with more toys.

“Whoa, is that all for us?” Delaney asks with a whole lot of wonder in her eyes.

“It sure is.”

“Was there anything left in the store?” Salem asks.

“Lara picked out a few things for you, and well, we decided to just add to it. We might have gotten carried away,” Zig admits, making me laugh.

“What did you choose for us, Lara?” Bella asks before Zig can reply.

I wait for the toys to be dropped on the table before I pick up the purple sparkly teddy and hand it to Bella.

She squeezes it tightly. “She’s so pretty. I’m going to call her Mrs. Sparkly Pants.”

I grin before grabbing the doll and handing it to Delaney.

“She’s mine? Really?”

“Really.”

“I don’t have to give her back?”

I swallow and shake my head, ignoring the growl coming from Oz.

“Nope. She’s all yours.”

“Wow,” she whispers, sitting down and crossing her legs with her doll in her lap.

Leaving her to play, I dig around until I find the dinosaur for Noah. I hand it to him, and he wraps his arm around it tightly.

Greg walks in and sees the kids with their toys and smiles.

“I’ve never seen so many happy faces before.”

He sits down on the chair next to Salem as I look at Oz, who is watching me with a smile on his face. He’s given me a lot today, and I’m not just talking about the toys and the books. There isn’t much I can give him back to show him my gratitude, except my trust. There’s only one thing here that matters to me, and that’s my Lost Ones.

I whisper in Noah’s ear, so he’s prepared, as I walk over to Oz. Noah looks up at me, but he doesn’t look scared, which is a relief. I’d never force him to do anything he doesn’t want to. Well, except when he refuses to brush his teeth.

“Hey, Oz, can you hold Noah for me for a second? He’s just woken up from a nap, and he likes to snuggle when he’s still sleepy.”

Oz, being the smart man he is, takes the gesture for what it is. His smile is brilliant and blinding.

“Of course. I love snuggles.”

“Hey, Noah, want to snuggle with Uncle Oz for a minute?”

Oz sucks in a sharp breath when I call him uncle. Noah reaches his arms out for Oz, who takes him without hesitation. Noah tucks his head under Oz’s chin.

“And pop goes the ovary.” Salem sighs.

“I’m not sure that’s how the song goes,” Greg teases, but Salem just shakes her head.

“It is now.”

I grab a couple things from the pile and walk over to the sofa where Alfie is sitting. I knew he wouldn’t join us, even if he was curious. He wouldn’t want to put himself in a position to be disappointed. He’s learned to expect nothing, but that’s not gonna fly with me.

I sit beside him and hand him the iPad and the brand-new set of earphones that are a serious upgrade on the ones he has. He might be ten, but he has little interest in toys. Now, books and music, however, are another thing altogether.

His head whips up when he sees what I’ve placed in his lap, a look of shock plastered on his face. “For me?”

“For you. And Zig has a gift card over there so that you can fill it up with books and music.”

His jaw is hanging open.

I smile, but it slips off my face when tears run down his cheeks.

“It’s really mine?”

I fight back tears of my own as hatred for the people who hurt him rushes through my veins. The kids might have been rescued by the Division, but they were still treated like commodities, not children. Like me, I don’t think they ever got presents. If they did, it was to manipulate them. Then they’d be taken away as punishment just as quickly.

“It’s all yours.”

“Nobody’s ever given me a gift before, and this is an iPad, Lara. It’s a lot.”

“You love it?”

He nods rapidly.

“Then it’s priceless.”

He still looks unsure as his hands smooth over the box.

“I get it, trust me. You should have seen my face when Oz bought me some books. I cried,” I admit, elbowing him lightly. “There may have even been snot involved.”

He laughs, making me smile as I wrap my arm around his shoulders and tug him close. “Zig says Ev will help you set it up. I’m going to expect you to read to me next time.”

“Nuh-uh,” he says. “Wendy is the one who does the reading. But I’ll find a book for you.”

“You sure? You have a beautiful voice.”

He hesitates for a moment before answering. “I won’t forget your stories. If something happens, I’ll have a bunch of them in my head.”

I squeeze his hand, knowing he’s talking about being taken away. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve reassured him. The reasons for his doubt are valid.

My stomach churns at the thought of anything happening to these kids. So many have come into my life over the years, and each of them is lost to me now. I don’t know where they went or if they’re still alive. Every time they were sent away, a small piece of me went with them.

Bella, Noah, Delaney, and Alfie have been with me the longest. In the beginning, I tried to keep my distance, but it was impossible not to love them.

I stand up when Alfie’s attention goes back to his new iPad and head toward the front door.

“Lara?” Greg calls. I wave him off, feeling myself start to unravel, needing to be alone so that I can cry and not be judged for it.

“I just need a minute,” I tell him before hurrying outside, praying that nobody follows me.

I make it all the way back to Greg’s and breathe a sigh of relief that I have a key now so that I can let myself in. I pull off my jacket and hang it up before walking to the room that’s now mine for however long I stay.

I climb up onto the bed and curl into a ball, letting the tears I’ve been holding back fall. I cry for The Lost Ones, hoping and praying that life with me is nothing but sunshine and rainbows for them now. I cry for the younger version of myself. I wish I could go back and tell her to stop trying so hard to make people love her. Relationships might be hard, but love should be effortless. I know that now, even if I don’t have it yet. Damn, I could have spared myself the heartache if I had figured it out sooner.

I thought if I was better, smarter, quieter—all things my father wanted from me—then he’d love me. But the one thing he wanted from me was power, and that’s what I refused to give him.

As a low-grade telekinetic, people were astonished by my ability to float minor things from one side of the room to the other. Once the novelty had worn off, though, they realized it wasn’t the most exciting gift. My gift was too weak to be considered defensive or offensive, so I was relegated to babysitting duties. If anyone had paid me more attention, they would have noticed why I’m so good with the kids. I might be a lousy telekinetic, but I’m a strong empath, maybe even stronger than my father. I hadn’t been able to test that theory without giving myself away, though, so I kept that gift a secret and only used it when he wasn’t around.

I sigh. If these guys knew what I could do, they’d kick me out for sure. But I can’t help that I was born with a gift I never asked for. The gift doesn’t make me good or bad. It’s just a part of my DNA. I’m so damn tired of being judged for every little thing. How ironic that back at the Division I was considered a dud, and here I’m considered a threat.

I roll over and stop at the sound of crinkling paper. I lift my head and find a folded piece of lined paper. I open it up and almost throw up all over my bed.

There, in my father’s handwriting, is a message.

Time to come home, Lara.