Chapter 8

I’d followed them around for the best part of the morning, keeping my distance as I watched her with two men I considered family.

So why did I have the sudden urge to rip their throats out?

The interactions between Lara and the guys surprised me. Maybe not Greg so much, but Oz can be a mean bastard when he wants to be. Last night, he seemed firmly on the cautious, if not hostile, side. Today, it’s almost like he’s had a personality transplant.

The scene of him roaring at the sky after pulling over plays on a continuous loop in my head. What the fuck happened to get such a reaction from him?

The question was left unanswered as he climbed back into the car and continued driving. I followed at a distance, staying out of sight. I’d been so focused on trailing them that I hadn’t been paying attention to where we were going. So I’m shocked as hell when we turn into the parking lot of a giant toy store twenty minutes later.

I circle the lot as they park before finding my own spot a few rows over. Pulling my ball cap down over my eyes, I follow them inside and watch as they split up in different directions, surprised they left Lara alone.

A surge of annoyance races through me at their recklessness. They know damn well we have enemies who would look for any opportunity to grab her. Not to mention the possibility, of course, of her taking off on her own.

I grit my teeth and follow Lara. With how unaware of her surroundings she is, I could be standing right behind her, and she’d be oblivious. Naturally, this pisses me off too. It seems everything about this woman is destined to give me high blood pressure.

Child. I remind myself. Lara is just a child.

I watch as she picks up a stuffed toy, something purple and fluffy, before she brings it to her face and rubs her cheek against it. She smiles and tucks it under her arm as she walks a little farther down the aisle. I refuse to be charmed by her, even if she is kind of adorable right now.

She stops in front of the dolls and reaches almost reverently for one that’s twice the size of the Barbies I used to steal from my sister so that Batman had someone to rescue. She picks it up and keeps walking. I look around, still not seeing Oz or Greg. She stops again, this time reaching for something on a higher shelf. With the two things already in one arm, she stretches as far as she can before giving up. Blowing out a breath, she places the doll and stuffed toy on the shelf in front of her and nearly gives me a motherfucking heart attack when she starts to climb the shelves.

I don’t think, just act. And run over to her. Thank fuck I do because her foot slips as she reaches for whatever caught her eye, and she falls. She gasps as I catch her and yank her tightly to my chest.

I’m sure she can hear my heart pounding, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she pushes against me and scowls at me like a pissed-off kitten.

I will not be charmed.

Irepeat it over and over in my head while fighting the urge to chuckle at how adorable she is.

Ah, fuck. I’m so screwed.

“Put me down, you big ape,” she curses. She doesn’t yell, but she may as well have when I hear the sound of boots hurrying in our direction.

I lower her to her feet, then cross my arms over my chest and scowl down at her. “What the fuck were you thinking? You could have broken your neck.”

She looks from me to the shelf and then back again. “I’ve fallen out of beds higher than that,” she mocks.

A burst of laughter has me turning to find Oz and Greg with big-ass grins on their faces.

“And where the fuck were you two? If you’d stayed with her, she wouldn’t have fallen.”

Greg ignores me and looks at Lara. “You okay, sweetheart?”

“It’s not the first time a crazy man has accosted me.”

“I meant from the fall.” He laughs, but my mind clings to her words.

“Who the fuck accosted you?”

Oz full-out laughs. And Lara rolls her eyes, making me itch to put her over my knee and spank her.

She’s seventeen, I remind my dick. Seventeen. And like always, my dick ignores me and starts to get hard as she blinks at me innocently.

“It’s irrelevant now. But since you’re here, Gigantor, can you please grab that dinosaur for me?”

I narrow my eyes at her before reaching up and grabbing the toy she wants, pinning her to the shelves in the process. Her eyes widen a fraction when she feels my hard dick press against her.

I shove the toy into her hands before turning and walking away. I need to get the fuck away from her before I do something I’ll regret.

I’m almost at the door when I hear Greg behind me. “Slow down, motherfucker, unless you want me to keel over and die. Mind you, I can think of worse places to kick the bucket than between the Lego version of the Millennium Falcon and Barbie’s Dreamhouse.”

Turning, I glare at him, but let it go when I see how pale he is.

“Fuck, Greg. You were told not to overdo it.” I scan the area and spot the book section, complete with bean bag chairs.

I grab his arm before he can tell me to fuck off and drag him over to one of the bean bags before shoving him into the neon orange monstrosity.

“You’re an asshole,” he bellows, drawing the attention of a scowling woman who reaches over to cover her child’s ears.

“Sorry,” Greg mumbles before looking at the kid with his ears covered. “Stay in school, or you’ll end up like this dickhead.”

The mother huffs before grabbing her son’s hand and dragging him away.

“Was it something I said?” Greg looks up at me and frowns.

I shake my head and chuckle. “Some people are just too sensitive.”

“Speaking of sensitivity, what was that all about with Lara?”

I tense. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The fuck you don’t.” He stares at me, waiting me out.

“She’s a fucking child.”

“Say it often enough, and you might just believe it. I’ve already said it, but she won’t be seventeen forever. And before you open your mouth and say something else that makes me want to punch you, she might be many things, but a child is not one of them.”

“Oh, please, you only have to look at her to know she’s innocent.”

“And don’t try to fool an old man like me by pretending that’s not one of the things that drew you to her.”

I fist my hands so that I don’t wrap them around his throat and choke him to death.

“Don’t confuse innocence with being childish or immature.”

I open my mouth to argue, but he gives me a look that shuts it and continues.

“She sees the world through innocent eyes filled with wonder. And the fact that she can still do that after everything she’s gone through makes her a remarkable young woman.”

He looks back toward the aisle we left Lara in, a pensive look on his face, before he adds, “She has zero life experience outside of the Division. Everything is fresh and new and full of hope for her. Don’t shit all over that because you can’t get past your own hang-ups.”

“Hey, this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Lara being a potential threat.”

“Bullshit. I dare you to spend time with her and then tell me you think she’s in any way involved.”

“Do you ever think that maybe she’s just a good actress?”

He looks me dead in the eye. “No. Not for a second.”

I throw up my hands and growl.

When I hear laughter behind me, I turn and see Lara and Oz racing down one of the aisles on scooters.

“In your face, missy,” Oz yells like the oh-so-gracious winner he is.

Lara’s bottom lip starts to quiver, and Oz immediately stops and apologizes before Lara busts up laughing.

“Why you little—” He picks her up and tosses her over his shoulder, making her squeal.

I take two steps toward them, ready to rip her out of his arms, when Greg’s voice stops me.

“He sees her as a little sister, and honestly, that girl needs a family more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

I stop and watch them together and realize he’s right. There is no sexual chemistry between them at all.

Still, watching her smile because of another man makes it feel like a hot poker has been shoved into my chest.

“I’m not sure Salem would feel the same way if she saw them like that.”

“Then you’re a fucking idiot.”

I whirl around because that isn’t Greg’s voice. It’s Zig’s.

“Zig—”

He cuts me off with a glare before he walks past me, knocking his shoulder into mine.

“Fuck,” I mutter. Nobody likes pissing off the boss. Not if it means we’ll end up with the shitty jobs.

Greg looks at me and smirks.

“You don’t have to look so fucking smug.”

“Actually, I do.” He leans back and puts his hands behind his head, like he’s relaxing on the beach.

“You’re a dick. Good luck getting out of that thing on your own.”

I turn and walk out, leaving him cursing away behind me.

I head back to my car and climb in before taking a deep breath. I drive home, pissed at how that all played out. How I became the bad guy all of a sudden, I don’t know. All I want to do is protect the people I love, and I can’t do that when there is still so much mystery surrounding Lara.

Pulling into the ranch, I park in the garage and head inside the house. A couple of the kids are sitting at the table coloring, and the others are in front of the TV watching something to do with talking sea creatures.

I make my way to the kitchen just as Salem slides a tray of cupcakes onto a cooling rack, and as I reach for one, she slaps the back of my hand with a spatula.

“Ouch. I don’t remember you being this violent when you first moved in.”

“That’s because I wasn’t until you all drove me to the brink of insanity.”

“I resent that, even if it is the truth.”

She chuckles before turning around and grabbing a second tray from the oven.

“How was your run?”

“My run?”

“Yeah, when I asked Wilder where you went earlier, he said you were out running.”

“Oh, right. It was good. It gave me time to think.”

I look over at Bella and Delaney, who are coloring, before my attention drifts to the two boys. The youngest one, Noah, is asleep, resting his head on Alfie’s thigh.

“Where is everyone else?”

“Zig took the truck to meet up with Oz, Greg, and Lara. Ev is upstairs in his office. Astrid is working on a new game and Avery is shopping online for clothes for all the kids who are in the library. Hawk and Creed are moving all their things into their new place, and I believe Astrid volunteered Slade and Jagger to help, though I wouldn’t be surprised if they managed to slip away somehow.”

“Can’t say I blame them.”

“I keep picturing that scene from Friends—you know, the one with the sofa? Pivot!” she says, smiling, and I can’t help but laugh, remembering the scene.

“Where’s Lara?”

We both turn at the sound of Alfie’s voice. He gently lifts Noah’s head and slips a cushion underneath it before heading our way. He doesn’t get too close, though, his distrust clear in his eyes.

“She went shopping. She won’t be long.”

He looks at me for a second before he nods and pulls his headphones out of his back pocket. Before he slides them on, I move closer, making him freeze. I don’t crowd him. I’m not sure what his story is, but I don’t want to make him any more uncomfortable than I already am.

I crouch down in front of him so that I’m not towering over him. “Hey, I’m sorry we upset you last night. That wasn’t our intention. We just worry about you all.”

“You made Lara cry. She never cries, not unless one of The Lost Ones is hurt.”

“The Lost Ones?” I ask.

He looks at the girls. “You know, like from Peter Pan, but with girls. Lara is our Wendy.”

I swallow at his reference. “You’ve known Lara a long time, huh?”

He shrugs.

“She’s good to you? Doesn’t make you do anything you don’t want to?”

“Crew,” Salem snaps from behind me, but I keep my focus on Alfie.

“She protects us. Even if she gets hurt doing it. She loves us even though she isn’t allowed to. If she were my mom and not just my Wendy, she would have kept me safe.”

I want to reach out and hug him, but I know instinctively that it would be the wrong move.

“You’re safe here, though. You know that, right? None of us would hurt you.”

“I know. Lara wouldn’t let you.”

“Even when Lara isn’t here, you’re still safe.”

He looks at me, his eyes staring into mine, and in that moment, I understand what Greg meant about age and maturity not being the same thing. Alfie has the haunted eyes of a man who has seen and heard too much. I know that look. I’ve seen it on the faces of the men I served with.

“I don’t think you’ll hurt me,” he says, eventually making me release a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. But his following words have me tensing all over again. “I just don’t want you to hurt Lara.”

“I wouldn’t do that either. I promise.”

“People promise things all the time, but they always lie. You made Lara cry,” he tells me accusingly.

And ain’t that just a kick in the dick.

“I didn’t mean to. I’ll tell her I’m sorry, okay?”

He shrugs. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. She might forgive and forget, but I won’t. Then you’ll always be just another liar to me.”

I hear Salem gasp, but I nod and hold my hand for him to shake.

“I can’t guarantee I won’t hurt her feelings or make her cry again. I mess up a lot. I’m sure you mess up sometimes, too. But I can promise that I’ll always say sorry when I’m wrong, and I won’t say it unless I mean it.”

He stares at my hand for what feels like an eternity before he tentatively reaches out and shakes it quickly. As soon as he’s done, he wipes his hand on his pants and pulls his headphones over his ears, clearly reaching his limit. I watch as he goes back to the sofa to join Noah, a lump in my throat.

I clear my throat and stand up. Turning, I find Salem glaring at me.

“She’s good to you? Doesn’t make you do anything you don’t want to? That was a dick move questioning him like that.”

I don’t argue because it was absolutely a dick move.

“I hope his words hit home because every time you step over the line, you’ll find it harder and harder to find your way back.”

I open my mouth to tell her I have everything under control, but she cuts me off.

“Penn was good man once, at least to me. He changed my life by teaching me what he did. And I’m alive because of those lessons. I don’t think he taught them because he had some plan for me one day. I think he was a good man, or maybe a man who had few morals but still knew the difference between right and wrong. But somewhere along the way, he crossed a line too. Then he crossed another and each time it became easier. And now, he can never go back to being the Penn I knew him to be. I would have loved for him to have told me he was my father back then because God knows I needed one. But now, that bridge has been burned. He will never know me as his daughter. He will never know his grandchildren, and there is every possibility that one of us will have to die for the other to stay alive.”

I reach for her, but she backs away.

“This here, being with you all, my family, and the love I’ve found with Oz and Zig, it’s as close to heaven as I can get without dying. For my father to achieve his goals, he will have to tear my world to shreds. The man I once knew would never do that. But that was then, and the man he is now wouldn’t blink twice. I’m telling you this as a cautionary tale. Don’t lose yourself in this by crossing lines you know are there for a reason. Don’t become the very monsters hunting us. What’s the point in fighting if they turn us into what they wanted all along?”

She turns away and wipes at her eyes. “Watch the kids for a second. I need to check on Aries.”

She’s gone before I can say anything, leaving me with a brick in my stomach and a wildfire of thoughts burning up my brain.