Chapter 14

Istand there with a stack of pizza boxes burning my hands and watch as Lara dips her head, trying to hide.

I look over at Bella as Crew and the guys reach her. They check to make sure she’s okay, but she laughs and runs off to play.

Jagger looks at me in shock as I turn to look back at Lara, who is carefully handing Aries over to Astrid. I know as soon as he’s out of her arms, she’s going to run.

I hurry over to her, slowing only to shove the pizzas at Greg. My eyes don’t leave Lara as she gets to her feet and moves towards the house. Before she can take another step, I sweep her up and pull her to my chest. She’s stiff as a board in my arms, and I don’t blame her. I’ve done nothing but give her mixed signals.

I feel the others approaching as I press a kiss to the crown of her head. “That was fucking amazing, Lara.”

She jolts at my words, her head tipping back to look at me, trying to gauge my sincerity. She won’t find anything but honesty on my face. “She could have broken her arm or leg or—heaven fucking forbid—her neck.”

She swallows hard, her lip quivering. “I didn’t think. I don’t usually react like that, but I couldn’t let her get hurt. I promise, I’m not a danger to anyone. I’ve never even lifted anything as heavy as Bella before,” she rambles.

Zig steps closer, touching her shoulder lightly to grab her attention, making her jump. “You should be proud of yourself, Lara. None of us would have reached her in time. Yes, Salem could have healed her, but that wouldn’t have spared either Bella or Salem the pain. What you did was incredible.”

She stares at him before her eyes scan the rest of the people gathered around, each of them congratulating her or patting her on the back. She looks so adorably confused that I’m torn between kissing the frown away and going on a rampage to kill everyone who ever made her feel less than she is.

“I never thought I’d actually be able to do anything useful with it,” she whispers.

“Those aren’t your words, baby. Those are someone else’s. I don’t care who said them. They were talking shit. Seems to me, you could do anything you put your mind to.” I swipe my thumb under her nose, wiping the blood away as best I can.

When her eyes start to well up, I pull her back to my chest, knowing instinctively that she won’t want the others to see her cry. Everyone immediately understands, backing away to give her some space. All except Crew, who walks over and stands beside us both, his hand taking Lara’s.

She doesn’t fight or pull away from us. She stands there and lets us support her in the only way we can right now.

When she finally pulls back, she looks up at me before her eyes slip to Crew’s.

“Thank you,” she whispers. A part of me sighs as I see her mentally building her walls back up to shut us out.

“Let’s get some pizza before everyone eats it all.” With his hand still holding Lara’s, Crew tugs her from my embrace and leads her to where everyone’s gathered. I follow behind and wait for them to sit before I sit beside her.

Nobody says anything about what just happened, which makes Lara relax slightly. She takes the pizza box Greg offers her and sets it on her lap.

As everyone talks among themselves, I watch Lara lift a slice of pizza to her mouth and take a bite. When her eyes drift closed and a moan slips from her lips, I feel my cock go rock hard. When I look over her head at Crew, I can tell from the pained expression on his face that he’s just as affected as I am.

I fight between pulling away and pushing closer. Reminding myself she’s seventeen, which seems to have become my fucking mantra, I scrub my hand over my face and reach for my own slice of pizza.

I feel Lara’s eyes on me, but I keep looking forward, needing a minute to get myself together. The fact that I can’t control my dick around a teenage girl is messing with my head more than I want to admit.

Once my dick settles down, I stand up and make some excuse about grabbing a drink and head inside. I lean against the kitchen counter and take a deep breath, trying to figure out where to go from here. It all seemed so clear before. Enemies to friends, friends to lovers—once she’s old enough to decide what she wants, of course.

The problem with that is that I seriously underestimated how my body would react to hers. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to pull off a friendship without it feeling strained, and Lara is way too perceptive not to pick up on it and question why. And what the fuck do I say to her? Sorry, but I can’t stand beside you without wanting to shove my cock down your throat.

“Jesus, fuck,” I growl and press my forehead against the cool marble.

“If Aries’s first word is fuck, I will stab you in the balls, heal you, and then stab you all over again.”

I lift my head at the sound of Salem’s voice and grin at her sleepy face.

“Question: if you take on the injuries you heal, would you feel nothing or have phantom pain like some amputees have?” I ask curiously.

She looks at me like I’m from another planet. “What’s wrong with you?”

I sigh and walk over to the table, yanking a chair out and dropping down onto it. “I ask myself that daily at the moment.”

She walks over to the fridge and pulls out two cans of Coke, placing one in front of me before she sits down and pops hers open, taking a small sip as she waits me out.

“Bella fell from the playset?—”

Salem jumps up, ready to run outside, but I reach out and gently grab her wrist. “She’s fine. Lara caught her.”

She slowly sits back down, her eyes staring into mine. “Why do I get the feeling there is more to it than that?”

“Because you aren’t stupid. Lara caught her before she hit the ground, but she was sitting a good fifteen feet away with Aries sleeping in her arms.”

“So how did she…” Her voice drifts off as she gets a knowing look in her eyes. “Right, telekinesis. Wow, I’m sorry I missed it. Everyone’s okay, though, right?”

“Yeah, everyone’s fine. Bella was off and playing again before most of the adults’ heart rates had returned to normal.”

Salem chuckles. “Kids are fearless. I’m sure they’ll cause a lot of gray hairs.”

I smile, thinking she might be right, before I feel it slip from my face. “I can’t get her reaction out of my head.”

“Who, Bella’s? You said she was fine.”

“No, Lara’s. She was terrified.”

“Why? Did she think we would be mad at her?”

“I don’t know, maybe. She started babbling about never using it on anyone before, and she’s never lifted anything as heavy as Bella before, but she calmed down when we all reassured her it was fine. It was after, when we were all praising her, that she fell apart.”

“Don’t forget what Avery said earlier. Lara was told she was useless her whole life because she couldn’t move bigger objects.”

“Yeah, well, hearing about it and seeing the damage it’s caused are two different things altogether.”

She reaches over and grabs my can, opening it before sliding it back to me. “We’ll just have to keep reminding her how amazing she is. She’ll learn, just like Astrid did. They’re similar, you know. They were both starved of love and belittled. The difference is while Astrid shut herself off from the world, Lara was hidden from it.”

I nod, thinking she might be on to something there. We are the sum of our experiences, but Lara has spent her life in a figurative cage. Her experiences have been so negative it’s a wonder that she’s turned out as well as she has.

“Those kids, they kept her going.” It’s a statement because I’ve seen the sadness in her eyes and how lost in her head she gets even in a crowded room.

“Kids are the greatest gift. You’d be amazed at what someone would be willing to do to protect one. Still, none of this explains why you’re in here instead of out there with everyone else.”

I take a sip of my soda and think about how to word it without coming off as a pervert. “I don’t know how to be her friend and not…” I trail off because I can’t think of anything PG to say.

Salem rolls her eyes. “God, spare me from testosterone-filled idiots. Oz and Zig were my friends before they were my lovers. Yes, what we went through was an unusual way to get to where we are now.”

I snicker. “Yeah, I think crash-landing in a jungle and then having to survive for months together alone is more than unusual.”

“My point is, I had to trust them. They became my sounding board and my shoulder to cry on. They helped carry my burdens, and they’ve never made me feel less than I am to make themselves feel better. We built a friendship before and alongside our physical relationship.”

I stare at her, waiting for her to get to the point. When she rolls her eyes, I realize I missed the point entirely.

“You can date without having sex, Wilder,” she snaps, making me grateful the fruit bowl in the middle of the table is empty as she eyes it. I have a feeling she would have thrown something at my head.

“I know that,” I tell her. Though mentally, I’m wondering if she’s on drugs. A relationship without fucking sounds exhausting. It would be different if Lara were injured, or… wait, that’s it. I could pretend she has an injury or a disease preventing me from sleeping with her.

“I do not like that dumb look on your face.” Salem sighs as I stand up and smile.

“No, what you said makes perfect sense. Thanks. You helped me put things into perspective.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yep. I’m just going to pretend she’s sick or has a disease or something, so I can’t fu— be intimate with her,” I correct myself as she glares at me. “That way, I won’t feel like I’m missing out. I’ll feel like I’m doing the right thing, waiting for her to heal.”

Salem presses her fingers to her temples. “I don’t know what worries me more, your twelve-year-old boy logic or the fact that I understood it. So what you’re saying is, you’re going to pretend that girl out there is sick in order to keep your dick under control?”

“Exactly.”

Salem stands and rests her hands on the table, taking a deep breath as if trying to find strength. “Why don’t you just remind yourself she’s only seventeen instead of jinxing her with an illness?” she asks slowly, as if addressing a child.

“Because I don’t want to hurt her. Imagining she’s sick will stop me from touching her. Telling myself she’s only seventeen isn’t enough, no matter how many times I remind myself.”

She’s quiet for a moment before she shakes her head. “I give up trying to understand men. Do what you have to do, but don’t fuck with her head, Wilder. She deserves better than that.”

“You said fuck.”

“I’m exempt from the rule.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Yeah, well, when you’ve squeezed a whole ass human out of you, then you can complain. Right now, everything is measured by a unit of fuck. Fuck me, fuck this shit, what the fuck, fuck off, and my personal favorite, fuck you.”

I stare at the tiny, angry woman and slowly back up. “Well, thanks for the chat. I’m going to head out and think about everything.”

“You do that. And tell Oz and Zig they better have saved me some pizza.”

“I’ll get right on that.” I grin, leaving her to it for a moment.

I head out and see Crew talking to Lara, who looks like she’d rather be anywhere else.

The sight makes me laugh. I can’t help it.

“Salem’s awake, and she said you’d better have saved her some pizza,” I yell to Oz.

“We hid a box from the kids. They’re like tiny human garbage disposals.”

I laugh, knowing that, kids or not, nobody puts away as much food as he does.

Looking back over at Lara, I see her look away as soon as my attention is on her. I sigh, knowing it’s my own damn fault. For all the times I’ve reminded myself she’s just a teenager, only one of us here is acting like a kid. And it’s not her.

I sit back down beside Lara and turn to look at her. “Sorry about that. I got caught up talking to Salem.”

Lara turns to look at me and offers me a nod. I can’t tell if she believes my excuse or not. And that’s all it is—an excuse. I stayed to chat with Salem, sure, but that’s not the reason I left in the first place. And Lara knows it.

“It’s fine. Crew’s been talking my ear off anyway,” she says with a small smile.

“I told you I wanted to be friends, and friends talk, right?” he asks sincerely.

Lara’s smile looks strained as she gets to her feet and brushes the grass off her jeans. “I’m just going to spend a little time with the kids before bed.”

I almost ask her if she wants company, but something tells me she’ll make an excuse and bolt. I groan as I watch her leave.

“Well, that went well.” Crew sighs. “What the hell was wrong with you? One minute, you’re talking to Lara, and the next, you’re gone.”

“I just needed a minute, that’s all. What were you guys talking about?”

“Not much. She’s a prickly little thing. I see her let her guard down a little when she’s talking to the others or with the kids, but as soon as I try to talk to her, she slams that door between us. It’s frustrating as fuck.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed it too.” I sigh. “We did hurt her. We accused her of a bunch of shit, and now we’re telling her we want to be her friends. I’m not sure I’d believe her either if the roles were reversed.”

He shakes his head. “I was so sure that when we found our woman, we wouldn’t fuck it up like the others did.”

“At this point, I’m thinking it’s a rite of passage. Everyone here had to fight tooth and nail to make their relationships work. If the most we have to do is beg for forgiveness, then we got off pretty fucking lucky.”