Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

HER — PRESENT DAY

“You know, Sadie and I would love for you to come around after the baby is born. We obviously have a lot to catch up on, and I’m just…” Cal rubs his cheek, like he does when he’s overwhelmed. “I’m so glad you found me.”

Janelle looks down, pretending to be shy. “I’m so glad I did, too. When Mom finally told me who you were, she said she wasn’t sure if I should reach out to you. She said you might not be receptive to meeting me, but I just…” Her eyes flick to me. “I had to try, you know?”

“Of course.” He pats the table, where we’ve been sitting for the last hour, despite the empty bowls in front of us. “I just can’t for the life of me fathom why she wouldn’t have told me about you. We grew apart, but I wish I could’ve helped her. I wish I would’ve known. The idea of her doing this, raising you all on her own…” He shakes his head as if clearing away the thought.

“Mom was stubborn,” Janelle says with a soft, sad laugh. “She liked to do things her way. I don’t know the details about how you broke up or what happened back then, but I do know she never had a harsh word to say about you. She said you were kind to her. That if you hadn’t left home, things might’ve been different.” She goes quiet, running a finger along the grain of the table, then lets out a loud sigh. “Anyway, enough about the past. Clearly, it all worked out for you.” She gestures toward me, and I can’t help feeling like the stray puppy he just picked up on the side of the road. The afterthought, the second choice.

Cal nods thoughtfully, not looking at me, and I’m positive his mind is with this other woman. It’s awful to admit, even to myself, but if she were still alive, jealousy and insecurity would be eating me alive right now.

“I think I’m going to step outside for some fresh air,” I tell them, standing up abruptly. On the one hand, I don’t want to leave them alone together for fear of what she might tell him, but on the other, if I don’t get away from them right now, I’m afraid I might scream. I’m suffocating here under the weight of her reappearance and the secrets that could be uncovered with it.

“What? No. It’s freezing out,” Cal says, as if I’ve lost my mind. Perhaps I have. “You don’t need to go outside.”

“I—”

“Honey, there’s ice out there. If you want to go, I’ll have to go with you.” Even as he says it, though, he doesn’t move. Truthfully, the last thing I want to do right now is start an argument or push back in front of Janelle. I want Cal to choose me, and as much as it stings right now, disagreeing with him isn’t the way to get that to happen.

Slowly, I sit back down, feeling defeated.

“Well,” Janelle says, clearly trying to ease the tension, “I’m dying to hear how you two met. I’m an absolute sucker for love stories.”

“Oh. Right.” I put my head down, feeling embarrassment for the first time about our story and how it all started. I lean back in my chair, forcing a smile that hopefully doesn’t scream to Cal that something is terribly wrong here. “Right. Um, well?—”

“We don’t really need to tell that story,” Cal says, cutting me off. For once, I’m grateful for it. I don’t want to tell her about how I was sleeping with a professor. Never before have I felt ashamed of our origin story, but now, I’m more aware than ever of how wrong it was.

“I’m sensing some type of scandal.” Janelle laughs. “Do you two work together at the university?”

“No,” I say quickly. “I work for a small marketing firm. Mostly from home, especially now with the baby coming. What about you? Cal didn’t mention what you do.”

Before she can answer, Cal’s phone rings loudly on the table, and we all turn to look at it. Cal is one of the only people I know who still keeps his phone’s ringer on. I’ve never once seen the man set it to vibrate. It’s an obnoxious ring, too. Like an old telephone. It makes him feel sophisticated, I think, though he always just says it’s because he doesn’t want to miss anything. I can’t count the number of times I’ve woken up from a dead sleep because his phone is ringing for this reason or that. He knows it drives me crazy, but it’s one of the many things he’s inflexible on. He glances down at the screen and shakes his head, silencing the phone. “Probably a scam call.” He waves a hand for Janelle to go on. “Finish what you were saying.”

“ Well , I teach workout classes at a local gym,” she says. “I actually want to open my own gym someday.” She holds her hands in front of her face, pushing them together, then pulling them apart like she’s displaying an invisible canvas. “That’s, like, the long-term dream.”

“That’s amazing,” Cal says, as if she’s just announced she wants to be the first person to inhabit the moon. Still, at least this part of herself is real. At least this part is true.

At Cal’s end of the table, his phone starts to ring again, and he looks down, appearing annoyed. “I guess I’m going to answer this.”

“The same number?” I ask.

He nods, standing from the table and pressing the phone to his ear as he walks out of the room. “Hello?”

Left in silence, I stare at her. It takes several seconds for her eyes to find mine, but eventually, they do. In the blue, I see a challenge.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper, straight to the point.

“What do you mean?” she asks, eyes wide.

“What do you want, Janelle? Is that even your real name? Because the way I heard it, it’s Ellie.”

She’s quiet for a while, and I swear she’s about to deny knowing what I’m talking about, but eventually, she lowers her voice enough to say, “You can see where the nickname came from, though. Surely.”

“Why are you here?” I ask through gritted teeth. “What is this about? Are you really his daughter, or are you here because of me?”

She sucks in a breath through her teeth, eyes darting between mine, but before she can say anything, Cal is back in the room, and the wall she’d dropped just moments ago is back up.

Without looking at us, he stalks over to the sink and rips open the cabinet beneath it.

“Who was it?” I ask, watching as he kneels down and pokes his head into the small, dark space under the sink.

“The homeowners. They said the water department just called them and said there’s more water than normal being used here over the past few days. They’re worried there’s a leak. They’re coming to check it out.” He glances back at me, his face somber.

“Oh no!” Seeing my opportunity, I stand, “I’m so sorry, Janelle. You’d probably better leave in case this all gets messy.”

Her face falls. “But I just got here.” She looks at Cal to see if he’ll argue, but he’s too busy looking under the sink to notice.

“I know. It’s the worst timing. Maybe once we get back, we can have you around for dinner. I’m so sorry, but these people are kind of weird. If they find out we have someone else here that wasn’t on the reservation, I’m not sure what they’ll do.” I gesture toward the door, a perfectly pleasant smile on my face. I have no idea what game she’s playing at, but at least for the moment, I’ve taken control of the board.

She looks back at me, then nods, but her face is cold. She’s angry. “Okay. Um, sure. Fine.”

Cal stands up finally, realizing what’s happened. “Oh, right.” He looks at me, but there is no budging on my expression. Adjusting his belt, he puffs out a breath of air, looking back at Janelle. “Yeah, I guess she’s probably right. The rules do say we’re supposed to get guests approved.” He approaches her slowly, arms outstretched. As he hugs her, everything in me goes tight. “When we get back home, we’ll all go out to eat somewhere. Your choice.”

She releases him and steps back. “Thanks again for having me.”

As she leaves, she doesn’t spare me a single glance.