Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

JUST A GAME

‘M y lady?'

There's a knock at my door. I look up from my laptop. I've not left my room since the confrontation with my parents – when my mother knocked, earlier, I told her to go away. It's easier that way. I don't want to see her, see the love and concern in her dark eyes, hear her try to change my mind. I don't want her to tell me I'm wrong, that I'm not a disappointment. That she is not a monster.

I'm leaving.

I've spent half the day checking my bag, repacking it, making sure I have all I need for my new life. I've spent the other half dozing, dreaming of a life with Kyle.

‘My lady, are you there?' The knock comes again, the voice louder. It sounds like Bertrand. I close my laptop, rubbing my hands over my face and through my hair.

‘I'm here.'

I open my door. Bertrand is there, holding a wrapped package.

‘This just arrived for you.' Bertrand holds out the package. It's oblong, wrapped in pale lilac silk and tied with a blue satin bow. There's a small blue tag attached to the bow.

‘Er, thanks?' I take the package. It's heavy, and sloshes when I turn it upright. I frown, turning over the tag. ‘For my lady,' it reads. ‘I trust you're safe at home.' I pull off the silk packaging to reveal a bottle of wine, encased in a fancy printed wooden crate.

‘It's from the Dome.' Bertrand raises his eyebrows. ‘Ira delivered it himself. He seemed… concerned, wanting to make sure you were here. I assured him you were fine, but not receiving visitors.'

Because I can't.

No visitors, not that I ever had any anyway. And no going outside the house. Basically, I'm grounded. Which is why I've not yet grabbed Kyle and had him jump me over the fence. My mother told me my sentence, after I told her to go away, her melodic tones sounding clipped through the wood and metal of my door. She and Father were leaving again, and I was to stay where I was.

Yeah, right.

She might shut me in my room, might surround me with guards, but I refuse to be a prisoner any longer. Refuse to be part of their rules, their violence and blood.

‘Is Kyle on duty tonight?' I keep my tone light. ‘I thought he'd be with you.'

Bertrand looks uncomfortable. ‘Er, well, that is, he's busy. At the moment.'

‘Busy?' Fear starts to curl, deep in my stomach.

‘Yes.' Bertrand's frown deepens. ‘In fact, your father sent me, my lady, before he left. There are some guard exercises taking place tonight, and he thought you might like to watch. You will, after all, be Raven soon, the guards yours to command.'

I will not be Raven soon. But I suppose I need to act as though I am, for tonight. I can do that.

‘Fine.' I try to sound decisive, like my mother. There's a pang when I think of her. And I wonder at my father, wanting me to watch the guards.

* * *

A few minutes later I'm outside, standing at the top of the steps. Huge pillars stretch away either side of me, Bertrand standing at my shoulder. Another row of guards stands at the base of the steps, a wall of silver and black facing out to the silvery lawns. Where the games are in full play.

At first I don't understand what's going on. There's a vampire, shirtless, carrying someone, dodging and weaving as he evades a group of guards. Some of the guards are holding weapons, swords and long spiked things that glitter in the moonlight, and there are several cuts sliced into the running vampire's back, blood dark on his skin. I realise it's a woman he's carrying, a human. She's wearing dark jeans and a tattered blue shirt. It's my shirt, I suddenly realise. And I know who the woman is. Cold fear thrums through me. Then the running vampire turns, and I see his face.

It's Kyle.

I think I'm going to be sick. Bertrand's hand comes to my waist. ‘Are you all right, my lady?' The words are murmured, meant for my ears.

It takes me a moment to answer. ‘Wh-what are they doing?' I turn my head slightly. Bertrand leans in closer.

‘Your father wanted Kyle to demonstrate how it was you evaded the guards until you were caught in the woods. He requested I reassign him, to train our other guards in his techniques. Useful skills, in these trying times.'

Of course he did. Not much gets past my father, courtesy of a long life and towering intellect. I knew he'd let me off too easy. And now, of course, he wants me to watch, to see how he knows of our lie. Kyle is very, very fast, and strong. But there are a dozen guards around him, who are also fast and strong. Even from here I can see he's straining, his muscles corded beneath his skin. The girl in his arms is screaming, the sharp blades only just missing her as they jab at Kyle, who shields her with his body as best he can.

Tears prickle my eyelids. I breathe in through my nose, trying to contain myself. The screaming woman, the darting vampires, bring back images of a dark meadow holding deeper darkness.

Bertrand's hand is on my back again, gentle. ‘We can go back inside, if you wish, my lady.' My heart twists, then hardens with anger.

‘If my father wants me to watch, then I suppose I'd better.' And remind myself what I'm giving up. The killing, the pain, the screaming humans. The blood and darkness.

Bertrand keeps his hand there a moment longer. ‘He'll be all right, my lady. You see how fast he is.'

I turn my head, and I know Bertrand can see the glitter of tears in my eyes. ‘He is, isn't he?' My voice shakes. Bertrand nods, his rugged face gentle. Oh, Bertrand. He's been part of my life since I can remember. And I wish, oh I wish he could come with us.

But he can't. And I'm going. I turn back to the games on the lawn, holding my breath as I count the minutes until this is over, and we can be gone.

I stand in the cold dark until the games are done. Kyle puts Janine down at one point and she staggers from him, crumpling into a dark shape on the grass. I step forward, but Bertrand puts a hand on my shoulder. ‘The guards will take her, my lady.' As he speaks, two guards pick her up, taking her around the side of the house. Kyle keeps running, fresh wounds striping his back and arms. This is no game. It's punishment. And my father wants me to watch.

So I do. I bite the inside of my mouth hard whenever tears threaten and, when it's finally over, Kyle on his knees, arms braced against the dirt, head hanging, I go inside. To my room, and my bag, and my plan.

* * *

Now I'm sitting on my bed, watching the door. It's 5 a.m. My heart is cold within me, as though I am truly vampire, some icy beautiful thing waiting in the dark for prey. But I'm waiting for my future instead.

I thought my mother was my only regret, the one thing that held me here. That's before I knew what she really was. What they both are. And what it means to be Raven.

Now I regret nothing.

I've left my Raven necklace on my dressing table. Faint candlelight plays on the diamonds and silver, sparks deep within the jet. Slides, golden, across the folded paper lying beneath it.

I'm not going to cut myself off from my parents altogether, I've decided. Once I'm settled with Kyle I'll get in touch, letting them know I'm safe. And that they're not to follow me. I've written a note, telling them I can no longer be Raven, that they need to let me go and make a new heir. It's short and to the point because each word cost me. I hope they understand.

There's a scratching sound, then muffled knocking. ‘Emelia?' Kyle's voice is faint.

I run to the door, pulling it open. He stumbles into my arms. I touch his face, his arms, making sure he's all right. Vampires heal quickly, are nearly impossible to kill. But that was a sustained attack by members of Raven guard, the most elite force in the realm.

‘Come and rest.' I pull him to my bed.

He flops back, his arms curved above his head. ‘Darkness, what an evening.'

I almost laugh. What an understatement. ‘Just stay there, as long as you need to. Recover. Take your time.'

‘We don't have time,' he says, slanting his silver gaze my way. ‘If we're going to go, if you still want to leave, we need to do it now.'

‘What?' I curl up next to him, my head on his shoulder, breathing in his violet scent. ‘But you just got here. You need to recover first, and then?—'

‘Bertrand let me come up here, by myself. To say goodbye.'

It's as though the blood drains from my body. ‘Goodbye?'

‘Before he left, your father told me. He's sending me back to Mistral.'

I sit up. ‘He can't! I won't let him!'

‘Emelia.' Kyle takes my hand, his fingers playing with mine.

‘I know.' Of course I do. I have no say here. Sorrow wells, deep and endless, at my weakness. ‘Then let's do it. Let's go now. I-I can't lose you.'

He brings my hand to his lips. His silver eyes are so soft, his touch so gentle. ‘I can't lose you, either.' He sits up, sliding closer to me. ‘I never imagined, never dreamed I'd work somewhere like this, meet someone like you. Now that I have, well…' He pauses. ‘I love you, Emelia.'

The world seems to stop, everything crystallising into one perfect moment of bliss. ‘I love you, too.' The words tumble out, feeling strange, as though someone else is saying them. But it's my heart beating like a bird's wings, my lips he's kissing. The bars of my cage expand, my world growing larger.

Raven no more. Instead a bird set free.

‘It's not going to be easy,' he says, a few minutes later. ‘And it will be dangerous.'

‘You'll keep me safe. I trust you.'

His head tilts to one side and he looks briefly sad, his silver eyes turning down. ‘Are you sure you're ready to live a human life? You have more privilege here than you know.' He brushes my lips with his to sweeten the words.

‘Can you help me do it?' I counter.

He smiles. ‘For you, anything.'

‘I love you,' I say again. I feel as though I could say it forever, over and over, and it still won't be enough to tell him how I feel.

‘So,' he says, between kisses, ‘how do you propose we get out of here? Bertrand won't let me stay much longer, but I was thinking you could meet me and?—'

‘Or,' I say, sliding from his embrace, from the bed. ‘We could use this.' I walk over to the fireplace and press the carved leaf. The panel slides open.

Kyle's mouth drops open. ‘Another passageway?'

‘Yes. They're all connected. I can get to the library from here, then down to the basement.'

‘And we can get out that way?'

‘Well.' This is the bit of the plan I'm not sure about. ‘I think there's another passageway, leading outside. Even if it doesn't, we could go from the basement. So I thought maybe?—'

‘—we could use it to leave?' He's smiling.

I nod. ‘What do you think?'

‘I think you're amazing.' He comes to me, picking me up and swinging me around. ‘But we have to go now. We need an hour to reach the Safe Zone, especially with me like this. And dawn's coming.'

I leave his arms and pick up my bag. The idea of seeing the world, of being with Kyle, stretches out before me, unrolling like some wonderful carpet, lit with sunlight and colour. And possibility. I shrug on my jacket, then reach for my phone.

‘Leave it,' says Kyle. ‘They can track you if you have it. We'll get you a new one.'

I hesitate. Then I put it down, next to my necklace. ‘I'm ready when you are.'

A smile curves across his face. ‘Let's go, Raven girl.' He holds out his hand.

I take it, stepping into the passage. I look back at my room, at the neatly made bed, the velvet and silver and wood, the soft linen and luxury.

Then the panel closes, and I'm alone with Kyle in the dark.