Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

SECRETS AND LIES

I rush to get dressed as soon as I wake, the deep blue silk of my shirt sliding against my skin as though my nerve endings are sensitised. My breath catches at the thought of Kyle, of his hands on me, his mouth. Of what we did on the roof. What I want to do again. I pull on black skinny jeans, looping several silver chains around my neck, though I leave my Raven necklace behind. I know I'm about to witness something awful as well as, potentially, meet the people who tried to kill my father. I hope, at least, to gain some understanding of what's really going on out there. And part of me, despite everything, is excited. If we succeed tonight, it means my plan to leave might actually work. I grab my navy leather jacket, making sure I have the vial of anti-feed.

When I leave my room Kyle is there, with another guard.

‘I'm going outside,' I say. ‘Just on the estate. Kyle, will you take me?' I say this as though of course it will be allowed. Besides, my mother isn't here to stop us.

‘Of course, my lady,' he says, bowing slightly.

He and the other guard flank me as we head down the curving golden stairs towards the front door. I hold my breath as it opens, hoping Bertrand won't be there. But our luck holds and a moment later we step into the cool dark, the other guard watching from the double doors. Stars burn overhead. Kyle adjusts his jacket collar, then turns to me. I'm buzzing with nerves.

‘Ready?'

I squeal as he scoops me up in his arms. He starts to run, the night turning to flickers of silver and black. I turn my face into his neck, breathing in his scent, the world fading away so all that's left is him. All too soon we come to a stop, Kyle putting me down. We're outside one of the guardhouses stationed at each entrance to the estate. It's one of the smaller gates, the house a faint dark square in the distance. I think it's where deliveries come in.

‘What are we doing?'

My question is lost as Kyle pulls me to him, kissing me.

Mmmm.

A few minutes later he leans his forehead on mine. ‘Are you sure you want to do this? The Moon Harvest… it's not going to be nice to see. Plus, I'm worried about your safety.'

‘I know.' I don't, really. And my nerves are starting to get to me, my legs shaking. ‘Are – are we going straight there?'

He shakes his head. ‘It won't start till midnight, after the fireworks.'

‘Midnight? It's barely nine-thirty – where are we going first? To meet the rebels?'

He laughs. ‘I don't know any rebels. But I do know where you can have an authentic human experience.'

‘But—'

‘Hush.' He kisses me again. ‘This is what you want, isn't it?'

He starts towards the guardhouse and I grab his arm. ‘What are you doing?'

‘Trust me.'

I swallow, summoning my courage. And follow him to the guardhouse.

He knocks on the door three times. It opens a crack and I glimpse someone's eye. It opens further to reveal a guard in Raven livery. He shakes Kyle's hand.

‘You made it, then?' He bows to me. ‘My lady.'

I nod, but don't say anything, fear cold in my stomach. What the hell is going on? The guard turns his attention back to Kyle. ‘Our deal holds?'

‘It does. I'll keep your secret, if you keep mine.'

His secret?

As my eyes adjust I see a black shape further inside the room. It resolves into a young woman, with long black hair like mine. She's wearing a short sparkly dress, a leather jacket slung over one shoulder. Traces of glitter shimmer along her décolletage and arms.

Kyle touches my arm. ‘Right. You two need to swap outfits.'

My mouth drops open. ‘Are you mad? This is your plan? My parents?—'

‘Aren't here.'

‘But Bertrand?—'

‘Is busy elsewhere. You made sure of that, right?' He addresses the other guard, who nods. Kyle puts his arm around me. ‘I'll keep you safe, I promise.'

I bite my lip. This is madness. The girl is waiting, her dress glimmering like fireflies. The guard has his arms folded. Whatever happens next is up to me. I was the one who asked for this, after all. So, I can choose to trust Kyle, or I can go back to the velvet confines of the house. And then Kyle will probably never take me anywhere again, and all my plans will mean nothing. I gather up the last remnants of my courage. ‘Okay.'

‘Come with me.' The girl's voice is low and husky. She turns away, her long black hair swinging.

I follow her through the darkness into another room. There's a candle-lamp on the small table, a welcome glow of light. The girl closes the door, then drops her leather jacket on the single wooden chair. She slides down the straps of her dress, revealing a black lace bra.

I just stand there. This feels weird and wrong.

She stops what she's doing. ‘Can I have your shirt?'

I swallow. ‘Um, sure. Yeah.' I slide my arms out of my jacket. I'm keeping that, I don't care what Kyle says. It's my favourite.

‘Is something wrong?' She tilts her head. There's more glitter on her, running down her bare stomach and, I see as she steps out of the dress, some on her inner thighs. A blood dancer. Not one of ours, though.

‘It's fine.' I unbutton my shirt and slip it off, not looking at her. There's a rustle of fabric and the sparkly dress hits me on the arm. I fumble, managing to catch it before it drops.

‘I couldn't believe it when Nick told me what we were doing tonight. Are you excited about going out?'

I don't know why she's being so chatty. ‘Uh, yeah. I guess.' I slide the dress over me, pulling my jeans down underneath. The sparkly fabric is warm and smells faintly musky. I hand my jeans to the girl, who's standing in her underwear, arms folded.

‘Sorry,' I say, though I'm not sure why.

‘At least you can come back home, afterwards.' Her voice changes, a warning in her words, as well as bitterness. I don't know where she came from, but get the feeling that home, perhaps, isn't an option for her anymore.

‘It's fine,' I say again. I tug at the hem of the dress. It's short and low cut, and I feel exposed, as though the glow of the candle-lamp is a spotlight. I shrug on my leather jacket, pulling it closed across my chest. The dancer, meanwhile, is in my clothes, her jacket over the top. We're similar enough in build, I suppose, that the guards won't be able to tell from a distance. And Nick, the other guard, has dark hair like Kyle. I remind myself why I'm doing this. To bear witness, and to test my plan. I don't want to be Raven, and this is my way out.

There's a knock at the door. ‘Are you ready?'