Chapter Seventeen: Rollercoaster （Forever and a Day）

Gia

ROLLERCOASTER (FOREVER AND A DAY)

Performed by Brothers Osborne

I’d left the blinds open, watchingthe thunderstorm as it had breezed through last night, and now the soft sunlight filtered through dripping branches. Mist drifted up from the damp earth, giving the entire scene an otherworldly appearance. It was how I felt. As if being here was an alternate timeline in my life. I had to keep reminding myself to work the case. That I wasn’t here just to make sure Ryder and Addy forged a family from the remnants of the one Ravyn had stolen from them.

Even though her letter had said she’d run away to protect them, I wasn’t sure how Ravyn had done it. She’d left this honey-like sweetness to live on the run, in cheap hotels and out-of-the-way places. Rory’s notion that she was playing Robin Hood, dropping clues for us to follow, only added to the puzzle. Had she been hoping to come back? To return to Ryder and the ranch and the people who’d accepted her with open arms? I didn’t want to feel any empathy for the woman, but I did. It hadn’t been two days, and already I was being lured by the Southern charm and deep roots of the Hatley family.

I couldn’t afford to get too close to this, to feel too many emotions for any of these people. The possessive protectiveness I was already feeling would surely cloud my judgment. And yet, I’d have to be a robot to feel nothing when presented with Addy’s quiet bravery and Ryder’s brooding acceptance. The sweetness with which he dealt with Addy would stir the coldest of souls.

Frustrated with the situation as much as myself, I rose, showered, and dressed in a pair of jeans and a flannel I’d picked up the day before. I braided my hair to keep it away from my face and went in search of coffee.

Ryder was already in the kitchen. He had on tight jeans and a Henley pushed up at the sleeves, baring corded forearms. The shirt stretched over his wide shoulders, accentuating muscles that came from hard work rather than weights and machines. The entire look was appealing in a way that was dangerous, in a way that reminded me of high school heartbreak.

My first real crush had been the summer after my sophomore year. It was for a boy who’d lived next door and spent all his free time at the rodeo or listening to country music. I’d begged Holden to take line-dancing lessons with me so I could catch the boy’s eye come fall. I’d spent the summer learning how to impress him with my dance moves only to have Dad restationed just as the school year had started. I’d had to leave the boy and my moves behind.

“Coffee?” I asked.

Ryder tilted his head toward the old-school pot in the corner. No Keurig here. I’d had to figure it out the morning before, when I’d made myself at home in his kitchen. It should have felt weird, and I’d expected a snarky comment from him when he’d come out of his room, but instead, he’d taken it in stride, as if he’d seen me there a million times before. I hadn’t known what to make of it.

“I’d like Addy’s help this morning in creating the image of the guy she saw,” I told him as I poured a cup.

“I need to get over to the ranch, keep going on the new cabins. Otherwise, they won’t be done in time for the guests we already have booked.”

“You can go this morning, and I’ll bring her over when we’re done.”

His brows were hunched together, a scowl replacing the calm that had been on his face. I was tempted to smooth the wrinkles between his eyes with my fingers before the bite in his voice raised my hackles.

“I’m not letting her go through that alone.”

“She won’t be alone. I’ll be with her.”

“You’re not her family.”

The words sliced into me even though they were the truth. The shock of how much it hurt was almost as painful as the words themselves. As soon as I got what I needed from Addy and could ensure she was safe, I’d have to move on. I wouldn’t stay. I never did. I didn’t want to stay. Certainly not here, in the middle of Nowhere, Tennessee.

“Don’t act like you’ve been at her side her entire life, Ryder. You’re no more family to her than I am at the moment.”

“She’s never going to be without a family again. That was true the moment you walked her into my brother’s office. It’s why you brought her here, isn’t it? So you could get what you needed and walk away? I imagine you’re really good at it.”

“Excuse me?” Why did this man always put me on the defensive? Why did every truth feel like a barb instead of a salve? As if it were a knock to my character instead of what made me excellent at my job.

“Why are you taking offense?” He seemed legitimately puzzled. “That’s what your job entails, right? One case closed, and you go on to the next in a new location.”

“Yes. But you make it sound like, just because I’m good at my job, it means I don’t give a shit about the people involved. As if I simply use them before I disappear.”

“Don’t you?”

I put down the coffee cup and stepped into his space, poking at his solid chest with my finger. “I care about the people I work with and the individuals impacted by the criminal networks I help unravel, asshole. Hell, I even hired the last person whose world was turned upside down by the Lovatos. I don’t use people. I protect them. That’s my job.”

His eyes narrowed, and he grabbed my wrist, pulling it away so my finger no longer dug into him like an arrow finding its target. The heat of his hands snaked up my arm, over my collarbone, landing in my chest like a spark. The desire I felt when we were like this only irritated me more. I didn’t want these feelings. I didn’t want him. But just because I didn’t want a boyfriend or, God forbid, a husband, it didn’t mean I didn’t care about people. That I didn’t love the people in my life. I might not be able to stick around and shower Addy with the attention she deserved, but I wasn’t going to wash my hands of her either.

“You didn’t protect us,” he growled, and instead of pushing me away, he tugged so I had to step even closer. “In fact, all you did was leave more wreckage in your wake without ever looking back. You gave your reservation to your brother, who traumatized my family all over again with a shoot-out in our front yard, destroying our fence, and our field, and sending Maddox on a wild-goose chase.”

“That’s hardly my fault. It isn’t like I knew the people Holden was running from would find them here. He might have ruined a fence or two, but he was doing everything he could to protect the vice president’s daughter. That was mission number one.”

I jerked my wrist, trying to step back, but he squeezed tighter, pulling in the opposite direction, and the motion brought me colliding with his body. Hips against hips. Heaving chest against heaving chest. Fire rained through me. Embers threatening to combust.

“You’re still the one who sent him to us, knowing it could put us in danger. And after it all went down, we didn’t hear a peep from you. Not an ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘Is everyone okay?’ So don’t give me a line about caring about the people impacted by the criminals you and your brother chase.”

His blue eyes sparked, fury and lust combining. The look made me nervous in a way I never was—not when facing a gun or sneaking into a facility to install listening devices. This look…the passion…it threatened to knock open the secret door in my heart I’d kept safely under lock and key ever since it had been brutally stomped on the one time I’d really given it away in college.

I licked my lips, biting down, and his eyes tracked every movement. The punishing kiss he’d given me last summer seemed to bloom between us, and in that moment, I knew the truth. He wasn’t pissed at what had gone down with Holden. He was pissed his body reacted to me the way mine did to his. He was furious I’d left and not come back, which made no fucking sense when I knew for a fact he didn’t keep women around.

“What are you really upset about, Ryder? That I left or that I didn’t show back up? You can’t have it both ways.”

He looked like I’d hit him. He let go of me, stepping away, and the heat that had threatened to consume us crested and drifted away. For some awful reason I knew I’d regret, I didn’t want it to disappear, so instead of letting him escape, I stepped closer, chasing the heat and the spark and backing him into the counter just like he’d done to me in his office.

I fisted his shirt and rose onto my toes so I could bring our mouths closer together. “Is it because you didn’t get what you needed from me? You didn’t get to finish what you started?”

His gaze dropped to my mouth, and his hands went to my waist. I wasn’t sure if he was going to push me away or pull me closer, and I didn’t give him a chance to decide. I pressed my lips to his, the firm hard lines turning silky smooth beneath mine. He tasted like coffee and danger and regret. I wasn’t sure if it was regret for what was happening or what the aftermath would be.

A mere second was all it took for the surprise of my kiss to wear off and for him to take control. He nipped at my lips with more than just a love bite, and when I gasped, he thrust his tongue inside. And just like last time, there was nothing sweet or tender or kind about his kiss. It was all fiery punishment. Not only for me but for himself. For wanting to play with this flame when we both knew it could do nothing but leave burnt ash in its wake.

He tilted his head, seeking further access, exploring and licking in a way that immediately made my breasts ache and heat pool down deep. He hauled me up against him, the press of his belt buckle in my stomach adding a spike of pain that should have been another warning. That should have been enough to make me step back, and yet I found myself pushing in harder, the sting of it only adding to the longing growing inside for more.

His hips shifted so his legs caged mine, the bulge growing inside his jeans pushing as if it could somehow make its way through layers of denim and brand me. My hands went to his neck, dragging nails into the skin there, and he reciprocated with fingers digging in at my waist.

I’d never been one to play games with sex. I’d never needed ties and bonds to get off, but heaven help me, I wanted this man to tear the clothes from my body and take control. I wanted him to demand I follow his commands. I wanted to forget everything but his words, his taste, his feel. I could spend a lifetime lost in his touch.

That singular thought came down on me like rain on scorched earth.

A lifetime was not in my playbook.

I pushed his hands from my waist, untangled my legs from his, and stepped back.

His eyes were hooded and heavy, his lips red and slick, and a lock of hair dropped over his forehead that I wanted to push away. He gripped the counter, forearms straining, as if he was holding himself up or holding himself back from reaching for me again. And in that moment, fully clothed but straining everywhere for me just like I was straining in every molecule for him, Ryder Hatley became the sexiest human being I’d ever encountered.

Movement behind me broke our gaze. His eyes drifted sideways, and I whirled around to find Addy, fully dressed in some of her new clothes with the new Converse on her feet and her jaguar pressed to her chest. Her backpack was in her other hand.

Ryder stepped toward her. The heat from our kiss was replaced with a look of tenderness as he looked down at her, and I suddenly wanted that softness for my own. I wanted him to look at me with that same concern and affection. With a shock, I realized I was feeling jealous of a seven-year-old, traumatized little girl, and wasn’t that just beyond ridiculous?

He cleared his throat and said, “Good morning, Addy. Did you sleep okay?”

She shrugged, putting her backpack on the floor by the edge of the counter. I’d checked on her in the middle of the night. Had he as well? She’d been in the bed, flat as a pancake and almost invisible with the covers pulled over her head, but she’d at least stayed there. She hadn’t hidden. In a matter of days, he’d made her feel safe.

“I made breakfast burritos. Do you like salsa?” he asked. She nodded, and he pointed to the counter where there were three different brands and heat levels. “They’re not my mama’s homemade version, but they’re decent.”

She pointed to the middle one, and he motioned her over to the plates he’d been assembling before our argument and our heated kiss had distracted him. A kiss I still felt in every single part of me. I’d be feeling and tasting and thinking of it for months. Just like the last one.

He helped her wrap the burrito and got her some juice. I took my plate and coffee and sat at the island on the other side of Addy, using her as a buffer so my body didn’t spontaneously combust. It was quiet while we ate, tension drifting through the air that wasn’t good for the little girl, but I didn’t know how to defuse it.

Ryder pushed his plate back and looked down at her. “My work is at the ranch, and I have a lot I need to do there today. You didn’t get to see the kittens, so I thought you might want to come and see them?”

“Okay.” Her words were soft and whispery, but they felt loud because she spoke so little. Normally, if she agreed, she’d just nod. So, getting an actual verbal response felt like a huge step.

When my eyes met his, I knew he felt the same way. His jaw ticked before he said, “Gia needs your help with that sketch of the man in your hotel room first. Do you think you could work on that before we go see the kittens?”

She put her burrito down, looked at her hands, and then glanced from him to me and back down. Then, she let out a shaky little breath and nodded. I wished I didn’t need her help. I wished I didn’t have to ask her to live through those moments again. I wished I could solve this without her.

“Let me go get my computer,” I said, jumping down and heading for the bedroom.

When I came back out, Ryder was washing up. I rejoined Addy at the island, opened my laptop, and brought up the program I needed. We started with a general male face with short brown hair and brown eyes. Then, I asked whether his hair was darker or lighter, shorter or longer, curly or straight before moving on from there. It took us over an hour. I changed the square face to more of an oval. Narrowed his eyes, moving them closer together and thinning them out. Added a rounder, bulbous nose, and heavy brows. Step by step, we moved closer while Ryder joined us and watched.

Maybe because it felt a bit like a computer game, Addy seemed to take it in stride. She clutched Balam to her chest and swung her feet, the toes of her shoes quietly banging into the island. But she didn’t freak out, and she didn’t cry.

When I’d done all I thought I could do, I pressed the icon that would turn the image into more of a 3D model and then turned the screen to her one more time. She jerked back, and only Ryder’s quick move kept her from falling off the stool. She turned, pressing her face into Ryder’s arm, and he lifted her off the stool and held her to him.

My lungs forgot to breathe at the image they made wrapped together.

I forced myself to inhale and shifted my gaze back to the computer, saving the image one more time. I worked over the lump in my throat, and said, “Okay. I’ll send this off to the team, and see if we can get a bead on who he is. You did an amazing job, Addy. I know I told you this yesterday, but you really are the bravest little girl I’ve ever met.”

Her eyes peeked out from where she was tucked up against Ryder.

“You don’t have to talk about him any more today. But just know, the more you can tell us about what happened, the better chance we have of catching him.”

“Mama argue,” she said softly.

“They argued?”

“She say he not be there. He should go.” Addy breathed in and then continued, “He kissed her. Mama mad. Hit him.”

“Good for her,” I told her, not daring to look at Ryder and break the trance.

“He had knife. Mama fell.” Tears filled her eyes, and then they were rolling down her cheeks, and she was crying, quiet little sobs, her body shaking. Ryder held on to her. He held on and kissed the top of her head and whispered soothing sounds and words. Promises of keeping her safe that I desperately hoped we both could keep.

After several seconds, she looked at me again. “I hid. He kicked her. He left…” She sobbed again. “I tried to help.”

Ryder squeezed her tight to his chest. “You did real good, sweetheart. Gia’s right. You’re brave. So very, very brave.”

They sat that way, cuddled together, for a long time with him soothing her, and I wished I could do the same. With her. With him. Because the tortured look in his eyes was almost as heartbreaking as hers. I wanted to wipe the agony away from both of them.

But the only thing I could truly do was find the man who’d done this.

I gritted my teeth and turned back to the computer, determined to get the image out to as many agencies as possible. He’d show up somewhere. Better yet, Rory would figure out who he was, and we’d have every single detail of his life spread out before us.