Chapter 14

CHAPTER

14

‘Maggie, the gate isn’t properly latched.’

‘Oh. Sorry.’ The girl immediately swung back towards the gate, causing the lead rope she was holding to jerk tight on Digby’s halter. The alpaca gave a grunt of displeasure. ‘Oh, sorry.’ Maggie turned back to Digby and the gate started to swing open again.

Bree caught the gate and deftly slid the latch into place. ‘Gates are the most important thing to remember,’ she patiently told Maggie. ‘That and never threaten or hurt one of the animals.’

‘Yes, Miss Johnston. I’m sorry.’ The girl hung her head.

Bree sighed. Despite her advertisements in the shop and post office, and her visit to Centrelink in Muswellbrook, nineteen-year-old Maggie was the first—and only—applicant for the job as assistant, or farmhand, or whatever it was called, at The Gums.

‘It’s all right. All this is new to you.’ Bree had hoped for an assistant who had grown up on a property and was used to dealing with animals. Who knew about checking gates. And turning taps off. But Maggie was a townie. She seemed nice. Nervous and very young, but kind. That was important when dealing with animals. She’d also be dealing with clients. There would be times she’d have to tell the walkers they were doing something wrong. Or instruct them not to do something. Bree could teach her what she needed to know, but would the girl ever have the confidence to do those other things?

‘Let’s take Digby back to his stall.’

‘Yes, Miss Johnston.’ The girl’s shoulders had visibly sagged. She wasn’t stupid. She had guessed the way Bree’s thoughts were leading.

With Digby safely settled, Bree thanked Maggie for coming for the interview, but was non-committal about her chances of getting the job.

Maggie walked back to her car and Bree turned her attention to the leaky pipe that fed the water troughs in the small paddocks near the stables. She checked her watch. There’d be time to get this done before she went into town for dinner with Matt and Vicki. She had never done any serious plumbing before, but with online videos and help from the man at the plumbing supplies shop in Scone, she was pretty sure she had this.

With tools in hand, she set about trying to remove the damaged section of pipe. She locked the big adjustable wrench in place on a join and heaved on it with all her strength. It didn’t budge an inch. She tried again, with no joy. Frustration set in after the third try. She lay on her back and kicked the wrench with all the strength of her leg. The wrench moved, the pipe burst open and water poured out, instantly turning the ground to mud. Cursing under her breath, Bree realised she’d forgotten to turn off the water. She scrambled to her feet and sprinted towards the stables and the valve.

When she returned to the open pipe, she saw she would be standing or kneeling in mud to finish the job. She braced herself to pull the damaged pipe free and slipped, falling flat on her backside. If only she’d found an assistant. An extra hand would be helpful.

She kept at it until the damaged section of pipe was replaced. Crossing her muddy fingers, she turned on the water flow. The join held without so much as a drip.

‘Yay, me!’ she shouted at the sky. ‘I did it!’

As she returned the tools to the shed and sprinted towards the shower, Bree suddenly understood. She was a townie too. Even worse, she was a city girl. If she could do this, maybe Maggie could too? She should give the girl a chance. Besides, there was no-one else.

She showered in record time, but her hair would have to do. She caught it back in a clip as she decided what to wear to her not-really-a-date with Matt. Her probably-just-a-thank-you-dinner with Matt.

She looked at the dress hanging on the bedroom door. It was a nice dress by a well-known designer. So too were the shoes that were waiting on the floor a short distance away—nice and designer. She’d worn this dress on many social occasions in Sydney. It was her ‘going to dinner with a male colleague’ outfit, to be worn if she wasn’t sure if it was a date or just a working dinner. Or if she wasn’t sure which she wanted it to be.

And while she had some of those same thoughts about tonight, deep down, she could acknowledge this was simply a thank-you dinner with Matt and Vicki. She wasn’t out to impress anyone. Leaving the firm and the city and her old life was all about becoming the person she wanted to be. This was her new home. These people were the first of her new friends.

She unclipped her hair and ran her fingers through it to encourage it to flow freely in wild and slightly frizzy curls down her back. That was better. The smart dress and shoes went back into her wardrobe, replaced by her favourite long skirt and a top she had knitted out of her own alpaca yarn. A wool coat would keep her warm during the drive.

She collected a box of biscuits she’d baked that afternoon, donned her ugg boots and set off.

She parked outside Matt’s house and had barely raised her hand to knock on the front door when it was flung open and she was greeted by a grinning Vicki.

‘Hello, Miss Johnston.’

‘Hello, Vicki.’

‘How’s Digby? Is his leg better?’

Before she could answer, Matt appeared behind his daughter and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. ‘How about you let Ms Johnston come inside out of the cold first?’

‘Sorry.’ Vicki stepped back to let her enter.

Matt smiled at Bree. ‘Hi.’

Her heart did a little double take. Whoa. Where had that come from? A welcoming smile shouldn’t do that to her.

‘Thanks for the invitation,’ she said, the formal words hiding the turmoil inside. ‘I brought you this.’ She held out the tin of biscuits. ‘It’s nothing much. Some homemade biscuits, that’s all.’

‘What about Digby?’ Vicki asked.

‘He’s fine.’ Talking to the child would give her a minute to gather her wits. ‘The cut is healing nicely. Another few days and you will never even know he was injured.’

‘Good.’ Satisfied at last, Vicki took the biscuit tin. ‘What sort of biscuits?’

‘Chocolate, of course.’

‘Yay.’ Vicki opened the tin. ‘Can I have one now?’

‘After dinner,’ Matt said. ‘And again, let’s give Ms Johnston a few minutes to actually come inside and take her coat off first.

Please take the biscuits to the kitchen.’ Matt took Bree’s coat and hung it behind the door. ‘She’s been very excited about your visit.’

‘That’s nice. By the way, it’s all right for her to call me Bree, if that’s okay with you.’

Matt gave her that gentle smile again, but she could see something else behind his eyes. A darkness. A question or a hurt that he was hiding.

‘It’s fine. Feel free to tell her that. And thank you for asking. Not a lot of people would do that.’

‘Of course.’ Bree suspected that might be a hint of the cause of his frown, but it was not for her to ask. She followed him into the kitchen.

It turned out that Matt, with enthusiastic assistance from Vicki, was a pretty good cook. Dinner was grilled chicken pieces with a crispy salad. Dessert was homemade fruit salad and cream. Vicki had a glass of orange juice, while the adults both opted for mineral water. Talk was mostly centred on knitting and alpacas.

‘That was wonderful,’ Bree said when they were done. ‘Thank you. Now, point me at the sink and I’ll do the washing up.’

‘No. No,’ Matt said. ‘I can’t ask you to do that.’

‘You didn’t ask. I offered. Vicki can help me.’

Thus it was that while Bree and Vicki cleared up after the meal, Matt made coffee.

‘Can we play a game please, Daddy? The one with the sheep.’

‘Bree might not want to play a game. She’s our guest, so you should ask her.’

‘Please, Bree? The game has sheep but we can pretend they are alpacas. Just for you.’

Bree looked over the little girl’s head. Matt was smiling and gently waving one hand around in a manner Bree interpreted as You don’t have to do this . She was about to say no when the thought struck home—she wanted to play Squatter with Matt and Vicki.

In a matter of minutes, a box appeared on the table and the game was being set up.

Vicki dispersed tiny plastic sheep, which she announced were definitely alpacas, and the game was underway.

It was fun. Plain, simple fun. Between them, Bree and Matt guided Vicki through the harder parts, and it was soon clear to Bree that whatever happened, Vicki was going to win. She winked her approval at Matt and was rewarded with an answering nod that sent a warm glow through her. This was how parents and kids were supposed to be. Spending time together. Helping each other. Sharing a meal, or a game or a plot. Something her family had never done. Her parents had been so focused on their careers, she could hardly remember a night when both of them sat down to dinner with her when she was a child. They had certainly never played board games. Or laughed together. When they talked, it had been mostly about how well she was—or was not—doing at school or uni. And after, every conversation was about work. They were a law firm, not a family.

And for the first time in her adult life, she realised something extraordinary. This was what she wanted. One day. With a child of her own. And the right man. A man who made her insides quiver, as they had earlier tonight. A man who laughed when she did. A man who wasn’t too busy to show his love for his family. A man who could accept the love that was offered to him.

A man a lot like Matt.

***

‘All right, young lady. Bedtime.’ Matt began gathering up the tiny sheep scattered over the table.

‘Aww, Daddy. Can’t I stay up a little bit longer?’

Her pleading eyes tempted him to say yes. The evening had been wonderful, and he was as reluctant for it to end as his daughter was. ‘No. Say goodnight to Bree, clean your teeth and I’ll come and tuck you in.’

Vicki’s bedtime would be the end of their evening. Matt hadn’t realised how much he missed having another adult to talk to, share the enjoyment of a quiet evening at home playing Squatter with, or to simply talk about things other than school and alpacas. He wanted to talk books and movies and politics. The weather and world events. Most of the time it was just him and Vicki, and as much as he loved his daughter, that wasn’t always enough. He watched as Bree hugged Vicki and wished her goodnight before his daughter vanished down the hallway.

‘Thank you for being so patient with her.’

Bree shook her head. ‘No. I want to thank you for a lovely evening. I guess I’ve been a bit lonely since I moved here but I’ve been too busy to notice.’

‘Would you stay for a glass of wine, once I’ve put Vicki to bed?’

What was he thinking? This visit had been all about Vicki. A thank you for her alpaca visit. A way of helping her understand how to thank people who were good to you. It was part of her growing up. It had nothing to do with him. And if Bree stayed, it would be because he had asked her. That made it a very different part of the evening. Half of him hoped she’d say yes. The other half was slightly afraid that she would.

‘That would be lovely. Thank you.’

‘Why don’t you go into the living room and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be back in a minute with—white or red?’

‘White, please.’

Matt stood up and slid the game back into its place on the bookshelf. Then he made his way to Vicki’s room, to find her lying in bed, her nose, as always, buried in a book. When she saw him, her face broke into a wide smile.

Look, Kim. Look at our beautiful daughter. See how happy she is? I’m trying my best, Kim. But it’s been so hard without you.

He perched on the edge of her bed. ‘You can read for a little while,’ he said. ‘But I’ll be back to turn the light out shortly.’

‘I love you, Daddy.’ Two little arms went around his neck and hugged him so tight he could hardly breathe. Or was it the weight in his chest that made breathing hard?

‘I love you too, honey.’

The nightmares that had woken her again and again after her mother’s death had mostly faded, but Matt left the door ajar, just in case. Making his way to the kitchen, he retrieved a bottle of wine that he kept in the back of the fridge for reasons that escaped him. Since Kim’s death, he rarely drank. And certainly not at home. Alone. He’d tried that once or twice in the early days. It blotted out the pain for a little while, but it always came back. And he quickly recognised the danger in it, both for himself and for Vicki.

But tonight he wasn’t alone.

He found two wine glasses and gave them a quick polish, then returned to the living room, where Bree was looking at the bookshelf that filled one wall of the room. From where she was standing, her back to him, he knew what she was looking at. A framed version of the same photo that he stared at so often in his office sat on the middle shelf. Any minute now she would turn around and he would see pity in her eyes. She’d say something about how beautiful Kim had been. About how much he must miss her. About how hard it must be raising a daughter alone. The words would be well meant, but every one of them would hit him like a hammer blow, bringing back the grief and the loneliness and the black misery that he had been fighting for so long. People always said those words out of kindness and concern. They could not know how each one was like a wrecking ball, shattering his attempts to rebuild a life without the woman he had loved from the moment they’d met.

As he set the two glasses down on the table, Bree turned. He saw a flicker of sympathy on her face, not pity. And only a flicker.

‘You have some interesting books there, Matt. I read a lot too. I like adventure and romance.’ She picked up one of the glasses and settled herself comfortably at the end of the sofa. ‘But you read mostly non-fiction. Why? What’s the attraction?’

‘Learning things, I guess.’ Matt settled at the other end of the couch. ‘I never had the chance to go to university. I think I would have liked it.’

‘I didn’t. Like it, I mean.’ Bree took a sip of the wine. ‘This, however, I do like. Is it local?’

And so started a conversation that ranged over a dozen different topics. A conversation that brought laughter and challenge and enjoyment. A conversation like he hadn’t had in two years.

He was sad when, after putting down her empty wine glass, Bree declined another and got to her feet.

‘I should go. It’s late and I have animals that will expect to see me bright and early in the morning.’

‘Let me walk you out.’

He opened the front door and went down the stairs behind her, hunching his shoulders against the wind. Bree opened her car door and faced him.

‘Thank you for this evening.’

‘Thank you for being so kind to Vicki. I had a good evening too. I’m glad you came.’

Before he could react, Bree kissed his cheek. The touch of her lips was brief, a butterfly kiss, but it felt like a burning ember placed into the icy hole where his heart used to be. Then she kissed him again, and not on the cheek. Her lips moving on his were warm and soft and oh so sweet. The ice cracked some more, as his lips began to move with hers. She tasted of wine and warmth and joy. It was a taste like no other.

Matt flinched away. He looked down into those beautiful eyes, one blue and one green, at the wild hair framing the lovely face of an attractive woman.

A woman who was not Kim.

He tried to speak. Find some way to explain why this was wrong, but he couldn’t. He shook his head, took another step backwards.

Bree’s face fell as confusion and regret swept over her features. But still he could say nothing, he only shook his head again and walked back into the house, firmly shutting the door behind him.