Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Rainier wanted to throttle Lance. People aren’t born as outlaws and criminals, and there was always a first crime. They weren’t all purely evil bastards either, but some people were sick in the head, and they enjoyed cruelty.

He couldn’t believe one had been working for him, and he hadn’t suspected. They’d been sort of like friends for a few years, although Lance wasn’t the type Rainier would tell his secrets to. Still, he’d thought of the man as decent.

He took a deep breath once they left the prison. He’d taken care of the paperwork, and it would be sent to the Castle later so it could be stamped. Either he or Mum would do that.

“I’m sorry, Kitten.” Rainier put his arm around Felix. “I don’t know why people end up like that. He must think I’m stupid if he thought he could force you to act normal later with threats.”

Felix hugged him back. “Don’t apologize, Rainier. You did nothing wrong. Besides, we’ve probably all talked to absolute bastards before and had no idea what they were truly like inside.”

“I feel responsible because a dominant should always keep their submissive safe no matter what,” said Rainier. “You put your trust in me, and that’s not something to take lightly.”

“I still trust you. You’re taking care of me, and you’ve thought about my future safety. You can’t control everyone even if you are the future King, and your Mum can’t either. Also, that was a really dumb insult to say someone is stupid just because they’re skinny. You can’t look at someone’s body size and decide what kind of person they are.”

According to Mum, Rainier’s size meant he was lacking in control. He didn’t say that to Felix.

When they returned to the Castle, Tab had sent over Felix’s stuff, so the Prince told him where he could put his clothes and things.

“You haven’t gotten out much, so how about if we go somewhere tonight?” Rainier asked as Felix got on the bed to stroke Inky who was sprawled out. “You don’t strike me as a heavy drinker, but do you like wine?”

“A bit,” said Felix. “I don’t like to get drunk, and it’s really unsafe to do that if you’re a whore, so Tab was strict on that too. People might take advantage of you.”

“That’s smart thinking.”

“I’ll drink a glass of wine.”

“Have you been to the Berries and Ballads tavern?”

“I went there once.”

“Did you like it?”

Felix nodded. “Yeah, it was pretty good.”

“We’ll go there tonight,” Rainier said, and Felix bit his lip. “What? Do you not want to?”

“We don’t have to.”

“If you’d prefer somewhere else…" Rainier sat on the bed next to him. “Is there something about that place that you don’t like? Is it someone working there?”

“No! The problem is that they’re pretty expensive. That’s why I only went once.”

“I’m paying for it, so it wouldn’t be a problem.”

Felix hesitated. “You’re already paying me a lot to stay here with you. You don’t have to buy me other stuff. I’d rather save my money too instead of drinking it.”

“But you’re here to be my Kitten. I don’t mind sharing my clothes with you or buying you something, and I’m certainly not expecting you to buy your own drink from the money I paid you.”

Felix squinted as he looked down at Inky. “Then I shouldn’t go.”

Rainier tilted his head. “Is your family actually struggling?”

“No, they’re fine.”

Maybe he was too ashamed to say anything.

“Kitten, if there’s something wrong, you can tell me. I’d keep it private.”

Felix took a deep breath. “They’re not struggling, and I’d prefer to keep it that way. I save as much as I can at the bank and send Mother money every month. She’s also permitted to take it all if something happens to me. I don’t like to spend it unless I need clothes or something for my work. Once I get too old to be a whore, I might start some kind of business of my own. If Grandma gets to a point where she needs a lot of care, I’d also prefer to be able to go home and help so Mother’s not doing it all. If I have a lot saved up, we’d still be okay even if I’m not working. I don’t buy things unless I need it.”

“You’re afraid of struggling later on?”

“Yeah, because when Father died, we had a lot of debt. He had borrowed money to try and get a business going, but stuff doesn’t always work out. We struggled for years and had a lot of shit luck while we tried to pay things off and keep a roof over our heads. We got used to doing without.” Felix patted Inky. “Mother’s getting older, and Grandma can’t work anymore, so I want to make sure they’re set for the rest of their lives, and I’m going to have a big savings for when I get old.”

He didn’t mention anything about getting married or possibly having a family of his own. Maybe he wasn’t interested in marriage, or he saw it as another potential expense in the long run that he didn’t want to risk. It’d be rude to ask.

Rainier wrapped his arms around him, and Felix reciprocated. “Is that why you’re worried about someone buying you something? It makes you feel indebted?”

“Yes, and you’re already feeding me for six months. That’s a lot of money right there.”

Rainier kept one arm wrapped around him. “When I said I wanted to spoil and pamper you, I meant it in all ways. I want to share my time with you, and I wanted to talk and get to know you, remember? Even if you ended up staying at that house, I’d want to go out with you and do other stuff besides sex or a simple walk. You’re not just a hole or a toy to me. If I buy you something, there’s no debt to pay back, and you don’t owe me anything extra.”

“I feel like I do. A family friend bought us food once, and they hung it over our heads afterward and made Mother feel like shit.”

Rainier knew Felix had agreed to this whole thing for money. He worked as a whore, and they provided services for a fee, and he wasn’t the first whore Rainier had been with either.

Basically, selling sex was a job like any other in Rainier’s mind. If Felix bought clothes and things for it, he’d see it as an investment. No wonder his cat stuff had been mismatched and not as nice as the other whore in his brand new, red cat stuff. Felix didn’t think he had a chance to be picked so he hadn’t bought anything new because he must have figured it would likely be a waste of money, and Rainier wouldn’t be interested in someone with no experience at pet play.

“Would you still let me take you out and pay for it?” asked Rainier. “It sounds like you’ve been concerned with amassing savings and always thinking in terms of making more money. There’s nothing wrong with working, saving, and being smart with your money, but do you remember how I said I like to take care of my pets? Beyond making sure you’re mentally and physically safe when we play, I want someone to care for and dote on. I like that kind of thing, and if you let me pay for you whenever we go out, you could see it as another way that I’m caring for you. You’re sort of like a pleasure slave even though we don’t have a written contract like that, and their owners always take care of their expenses.”

Felix seemed to be thinking. "You really like that?”

“Of course. Caring for someone’s needs beyond sex is satisfying to me in a different way.” Rainier kissed the top of his head. “It’s not just about spending money either. It’s taking you to see something and sharing the experience with you. Inky certainly doesn’t mind when I buy him a feather toy, and he gets to have the experience of trying to destroy it.”

Felix snorted. “All right.”

“Think of this as a vacation, and you get to have some fun without worrying about costs.”

“I also get a handsome Prince to cuddle with.”

“I get the cutest Kitten.”

***

When Natalie and Betty were about to leave that afternoon after lunch, Rainier was hungry, and for a moment, his brain said he should have eaten all of the vegetable stew because veggies surely wouldn’t make him fat. The meal had been light except for the brownies and the bread with norben. He hadn’t touched either of those things, and he hadn’t eaten all of the stew of course.

The dull salad beforehand hadn’t been enough either. He wished he could be like Felix who could eat whatever. It wouldn’t make him fat, and even if he gained weight, he’d still be adorable and sweet. If Rainier gained weight, he might as well get in a puddle of mud and start oinking.

The servants had already brought Natalie and Betty’s bags to the carriage, and it was hitched. As he hugged them goodbye, guilt poked his gut because he shouldn’t be glad that they were going, but he was. It would be only him and Mum at meals, and there would be no tempting dessert or watching his perfect cousin eat everything and never gain an ounce.

They were watching the carriage leave through the gate when he started thinking about his stash of dried fruit. It was for when he was desperate. Since he’d skipped breakfast, the typical hollowness in his gut after so little at lunch was more pronounced than normal. He didn’t even need a whole handful, just a few pieces would do. He’d have to wait until Felix was distracted because the thought of eating in front of him made Rainier’s gut tense.

“What does your whore eat?” asked Mum.

“Can you call him my friend?” Pure shame filled him because he’d been thinking of food. "His name is Felix, not whore.”

“Some friend. What does he eat?”

“I told the kitchen to give him whatever we have, and for breakfast, they make him other stuff like eggs or whatever the cook herself feels like having.”

Mum only ate oats for breakfast, and Rainier did too. No sugar, cream, or anything was added to it, but he couldn’t bear to make Felix force down bland oatmeal.

“You’re not eating his leftovers are you?”

“No,” he said in a stiff tone. Felix pretty much ate all of his meals anyway.

“I don’t want you finishing whatever he doesn’t,” she said in an equally stiff tone. “Months of that will certainly put weight on you. Remember, I can tell when you’ve been snacking, and you’ve always been such a sneak with food just like your sister was thanks to your Father.”

His face burned. “Mum, I don’t sneak food. I don’t eat candies or sweets at all. I’ve told you this before.” Of course, he’d never mention the dried fruit he occasionally ate when he truly couldn’t stand the hunger in his gut.

“I know you by now. Don’t lie to me.”

He couldn’t win either way.

***

Berries and Ballads was rather crowded, and it seemed a couple of women who were to sing and play the violin were quite popular. Rainier hadn’t had any idea what the entertainment would be, but he knew they had something every night. Berries and Ballads had a fee to get in which was unusual for a tavern, but they didn’t want people watching the entertainment and not buying the drinks which were expensive.

They picked a spot off to the side by a wall, and a woman came to ask what they wanted to drink.

Berry wine was their specialty, and Felix picked a strawberry one. Rainier did too, and before the lady returned, he debated with himself about drinking it.

Wine certainly could make a person gain weight, and it wouldn’t be watered down here. Mum had theirs cut because she didn’t want to get tipsy. He was pretty sure that showed a lack of self-control in her mind. Normally, he let himself drink some if he went out, and he’d gotten drunk with Lance a few times when they’d gone to different taverns to play cards.

A single glass wouldn’t make him drunk, but after Mum’s earlier comments, he certainly shouldn’t be putting anything extra in his body. He must have gained weight, and he simply couldn’t tell despite scrutinizing himself in the privy room looking glass

When the lady returned with the wine, he’d decided he wouldn’t drink it. It came in a glass with silver on the outside, so Felix wouldn’t see how much was in it. When she said they had a fruit plate, Rainier told Felix to get one if he wanted it.

When he got it, Felix pushed the plate over a bit.

“I’m not hungry, Kitten.” Like Rainier would dare eat in public after earlier.

“I can’t eat all of that myself. It’s a lot.”

“Just eat what you want of it.”

The two ladies were on stage, and they started singing. The song was soft, and after a minute, they ripped into their violins as they danced. Some of the other fairies in the room cheered.

“It was poetry when I came last time,” said Felix. “I like this better.”

The fruit practically taunted him as Felix ate pieces of berrymelon and mellyballs. Dinner had been light too, and Mum must have asked for the chicken soup even though she didn’t often prefer soup for dinner. Part of that, which had been mostly broth, and the salad had barely made a dent in his hunger, and he kept imagining how light and sweet the fruit would taste.

He cursed himself inside because Mum was right. He didn’t have any self-control. Maybe he should skip breakfast entirely from now on. Missing it certainly hadn’t killed him lately, and Mum didn’t even care about that meal because she ate it in her rooms. It was lunch and dinner she fussed over.

He’d eat a tiny bit more at lunch and dinner to help with hunger, and with one less meal, he’d certainly lose more weight. He forced himself to focus on the women and told himself the damn fruit plate didn’t exist.

He picked up his wine glass a few times and pretended to sip. His Kitten never noticed a thing.

***

A couple of weeks later, he was in the office and trying to finish up the ledger one afternoon. Felix had gone outside to walk in the garden. Rainier hadn’t eaten breakfast in the past two weeks, and he’d managed to stay away from his dried fruit stash.

Training had been a bitch that morning. He’d been particularly hungry, but he figured he better suck it up and deal.

He could fight well, but running around and swinging a weapon while trying to avoid the attacks of whichever guard was his practice buddy had worn him out. He’d wanted to quit halfway through, and that had further shamed him inside.

Mum came in and started speaking before he had a chance to say hello. “I saw your whore in the garden.”

“My companion,” he said with a barely disguised edge to his voice.

“He came from a whorehouse.”

“That’s a profession like any other, and there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Hardly! You know you can’t have whores anymore when you get married. It’s not right.”

“Of course, I know that,” he said. “If I was married, I wouldn’t cheat.”

“Plenty of men say that, but they do it anyway,” she said.

“It doesn’t mean I have to, and I don’t know why you’re worried because I’m not about to get married.”

“Mm. Are you doing disgusting stuff with him?”

Rainier gripped his quill. “My bedroom life is absolutely none of your business.”

“It is because I know you’re into disgusting stuff.”

He still regretted getting with a particular courtier years ago. It was the first man he’d ever done kitten play with and realized how much he truly liked that kink. The courtier had gone and blabbed. Perhaps he’d been proud that he’d gotten fucked by the Crown Prince.

Most people didn’t give a shit about other’s kinks, but somehow, it had gotten around to Mum, and she’d acted like he’d gone and fucked a goat or something disgusting like that.

Mum kept glaring at him with folded arms, and he could imagine she was thinking he wasn’t as skinny as her. “You should get rid of him.”

“That’s not happening.”

“I’ve let you get away with having your whores and pets here before, but that needs to stop. Such indulgence shows a lack of self-control, and I’m sure you’re not just taking care of your basic needs with him. What if the servants figure out something and talk?”

“Can you stop harping on me about self-control?”

“No, I won’t!” she snapped as she came around the desk. “All your life you’ve been sneaking food. I caught you and your sister pigging out in secret, and I know you haven’t changed. I’m not going to be the Queen forever, and when I hand over the throne to you, I want to make sure it’s in good hands. People want to see their King as someone who puts them first and isn’t lounging around eating and fucking.”

“I don’t just lounge around, eat, and fuck.” Rainier jabbed at the ledger with the quill. “We share the work and-”

“You still have to put more effort in. How is it fair if you get married, and you end up overweight and dead from a heart attack before you’re even fifty!?” The diamond rings on her fingers twinkled as she gestured. “I tried to get him to lose weight, and the physician said his heart was strained, but he didn’t listen, and when that heart attack happened…”

“I’m not as big as him-”

“You’ll end up like him because you’ve been eating stuff you’re not supposed to your whole life, and when you get older, it’s harder to keep off weight. And you can’t throw up like Addy either.”

“I don’t throw up, and I don’t snack.”

“You’re fat,” she said bluntly.

Those two words were like a stab as he struggled to keep his expression composed.

“You have disgusting desires, you’re fat, and you keep lying to me,” she said as she stood by his side. Even though he was taller than her when he stood, he felt about two inches high and like he was a teenager again. “Surely, you know you need to lose some weight when you look at yourself in the mirror.”

“I know I do, but-”

“No buts. Just do it. And you need to get rid of Felix. Send him back to the whorehouse.”

“No. I’m keeping him for the whole time he agreed, and that’s that.” He forced himself to write a couple of last things in the ledger. That was one thing he wasn’t budging on.

“Then after him, there won’t be anymore.”

He’d ask the Earl to borrow his vacation home again if he had another pet in the future. Mum wasn’t keeping him from what he liked to do in bed, and she wasn’t taking away Felix.

“Stop snacking,” she tossed out before she turned and left the office.

The door slammed shut, and silence settled over the room as his face grew hot. He’d skip lunch too, but she would grow annoyed about that and say he was picking Felix over her. She wouldn’t believe that he didn’t secretly snack all damn day. He could never win, and part of the reason why he hadn’t bothered to look for a spouse was because of her attitude.

A companion was one thing, but if he had a husband, she might start bothering him and asking what Rainier ate in private. She might hound him to get Rainier to lose more, or she’d harass him about their private activities.

Even with only Mum, he felt ganged up on. The words “you’re fat” kept repeating in his head, and he wished he could shrink into nothing.

It would be easier if he could throw up his meals, but he was terrified he’d die like Addy and leave Mum all alone. It probably hurt too, and he didn’t want to go alone and possibly in pain to be found the same way. Mum would also know he’d been trying to hide his lack of restraint.

He’d eat less at meals, and that would have to work. No more dried fruit would be permitted no matter how desperate he was. That was a lack of restraint too. No matter how much his stupid stomach complained, he needed to deal with it and accept the facts. He was fat, and he’d never be like Natalie who could eat all day with no consequences.