22. Amy

CHAPTER 22

AMY

I love him, and he doesn’t love me, and that’s going to be okay.

The words play on repeat in my mind as I stand in front of the mirror, glancing down at the beading over the sheer panels on my dress. The skirt hugs my thighs before it flares out just above my knees, trailing behind me.

It’s by far the most beautiful dress I’ve ever put on, but there’s something that doesn’t sit right about going through with this.

Daphne sweeps back into the room with a smile. “Well, this is it. In a couple minutes, we’re going to go downstairs, and the ceremony will begin.”

Gabby sips from her flute of champagne. “There’s still time to run if you’re thinking about it.”

“When were we thinking about running?” Daphne asks, eyes wide and mouth dropping open. “You can’t do that. I know this is difficult, but give him a little time.”

“I don’t think time is going to fix us, but I want to try anyway.” I smile as Daphne grabs the veil and nestles the comb into my wavy hair, disguising it behind the white florals the stylist weaved into it.

“The two of you are going to be happy together. It’s just going to take Xander a little while to come around to it.” Daphne gives me a sympathetic smile.

“I know you all think that he’s going to have some miraculous change in personality and decide that maybe he could love me, but it’s not going to happen. We all just need to accept that this is what life is going to look like until the divorce.”

“Well, maybe I should go then.” Xander’s reflection appears in the mirror as he stands in the doorway.

Daphne gives me a sheepish smile. “I came back to tell you that he was on board for the first look.”

“A first look?” I turn and stare at her, wondering how she could set me up like this when I told her everything that was already wrong with the marriage.

Daphne nods. “Yeah. Gabby, let’s go downstairs and find out where the wedding planner wants us for now.”

The pair scurry out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

Xander scrubs a hand over his mouth. “You look beautiful, Amy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look more beautiful than you do right now.”

“Thanks,” I say, tone cold as I watch him.

One part of me hopes that he stays on the other side of the room and doesn’t come anywhere near me. I know I won’t be able to think with him too close.

And then the other part wants him to cross the room and tell me that he was wrong.

But this isn’t a fairy tale.

I take a deep breath. “What are you doing in here? I know that Daphne said there was going to be a first look, but I wasn’t planning on that. Besides, it’s bad luck to see me before the wedding.”

“It is?” he asks, his gaze roaming my body before he meets my eyes. “I didn’t know.”

“It is. Though I guess with a fake marriage that doesn’t really matter much, now does it?”

My laugh is bitter as I pace away from him, heading over to the vanity and leaning against it for support.

Xander makes a noise in the back of his throat. “I came in here for a reason, and you looking like that is making it extremely hard to think.”

“Was that reason to tell me that you want to call this whole thing off?”

“No!” He shakes his head, hands curling into fists at his sides. “That’s not what I came in here to say at all, though it seems like that’s what you were talking about with Daphne and Gabby.”

“I was.” There’s no point in denying it when he walked in here and heard us. “I know this isn’t what you want, and I know you’re never going to love me despite the way I feel about you. And I feel like such an idiot because I knew this was never real, but I still fell for you either way.”

“Amy, I need you to calm down and listen to me.”

I grab a cotton swab, pressing it to the corner of my eyes and catching my tears before they fall. “I’m not going to run, Xander. You don’t have to be worried about that. I told you that I would help you.”

“That’s not what I’m concerned about.”

“If this is about living up to your brother’s name, you should know that you don’t have to do that. You’re your own person, and Yorgos would be proud of you either way. Look at all the good you’ve done in the country in the last few months.”

“I’ve done all that because I’ve been trying to prove something, but it wasn’t to him. It was to you.”

My breath catches in my throat as I look at him.

Every argument I had disappears as my mouth opens and closes.

Out of all the things he could’ve said to me, I wasn’t expecting that. I thought he was going to tell me that it was time for us to get down the aisle and promise to love each other. Maybe we were supposed to take a couple pictures before moving on with our lives.

Or maybe he was going to call everything off and tell me that it was time to go home.

“You don’t have anything to prove to me,” I say, voice wavering as I look at him before glancing past him at the clock on the bookshelf. “We should get downstairs. The ceremony is supposed to start soon. People are going to be wondering where we are.”

“Damn it, Amy. Let me talk for a minute, okay?”

“Why should I?”

“Because we’re either going to do this wedding properly, or I’m going to call it off.”

Xander tucks his hand into his pocket, pulling out a little black box. He flicks it open and holds it out to me. “This was my mother’s engagement ring. It was left to me when she died. She told me that I had to give it to the woman I loved when I was ready to marry her.”

I look at the stunning gold band with tiny diamonds encrusted into it and an emerald in the center. “Xander, you should save this for the woman you love. You know that.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do!” Xander says. He sighs and takes my hand, sliding off the ring that’s there and replacing it with his mother’s.

Holding my hand up, I stare at the way the ring sparkles on my finger. It’s stunning.

“Do you understand what I’m trying to say?” he asks, tone teasing as he takes me by the hand and pulls me to him.

I stare up at him, holding my breath and waiting for him to break the silence.

Right now, I need him to say it to me. I need to hear the words for myself and know that he means them. No implied meanings or skirting around what he’s trying to say.

I need to know that he loves me enough to admit it to himself and me.

Xander cups my jaw with one hand, thumb drifting over my cheekbone. “I love you, Amy. I’ve been half in love with you since I met you that day on the beach. While you look at me like I hung the stars, I know without a doubt that you’re my sun. My entire world revolves around you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tears sting the corners of my eyes. “I love you too.”

“Good. I would never dream of marrying a woman I wasn’t in love with,” he says, those teasing words making my heart flutter and the butterflies come to life. “And just so you know, I plan on loving you every day for the rest of my life, even when you bring out the orphan story for sympathy.”

Laughing, I throw my arms around him. “You’re horrible. I wouldn’t bring out the orphan story at the ceremony when we’re both missing our parents.”

“Are you sure about that?” His arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me closer to him.

“I was saving it for the reception. I thought it might get us some good wedding gifts.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “I love you, Amy.”

“I love you, too.”

For the millionth time, I can’t help but think of my fiancé as the most attractive man on earth.

All I want to do now is get to the part of the evening when the tuxedo hits the floor and I’m out of my corset.

His head dips down and his lips press against mine, molding to me like he was made for me.

And maybe he was.

This wasn’t the start of the whirlwind romance I was expecting. It was messy and carved from lies, but something beautiful blossomed after the fire that tore through us.

Xander steps away from me with a small smile on his face as he gets to one knee in front of me. “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. With you, it feels like my life is finally headed in the direction it’s supposed to be. I know that the two of us are going to have a long life together, and I know it’s not going to be easy all the time, but I love you, and I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” I laugh as he gets to his feet and sweeps me into another kiss before letting go. “You should go now, though. We’re already late, and they’re all going to think we ran for it.”

“We could run away and elope if that’s what you want.”

“Really?” I raise an eyebrow, arms crossing as I tease him. “You would leave everything behind and run away with me to get married? Right now?”

“I told you, Amy, you’re the sun. If I don’t have you, then nothing in my world makes sense.”

I smile and gesture to the door. “Go to the altar.”

He kisses the corner of my mouth. “I’ll meet you there. I’ll be the best-looking one in the garden until you arrive.”

Xander hurries out of the room, shutting the door behind him and giving me a minute to myself.

I take a deep breath and make sure my makeup is still in place before turning toward my future, confident that this is the life I’m meant to live.

As I enter the garden to a soft melody, Xander’s full attention turns to me.

And when he looks at me like he adores me, I know that he’s my forever.