CHAPTER 19

“Y es, Mr.Roman,” Raleigh said. “I sent that over yesterday.”

She hurried to find the email in her sent box, scanned the messages from the day before, and couldn’t find it.

“If you sent it, I don’t see it. Did you forget to copy me on it, like you did last time?”

“Maybe it went to your spam folder,” she said, making things up as she went along.

“It’s not in my spam, Raleigh. You were supposed to send it to the client and copy me on it, like always. I don’t have it, and my client doesn’t have it, either. They’re upset. And you don’t have to deal with them when they’re upset. I do.”

“Let me just resend it over to you right now,” she said.

“Forward me the original email you sent yesterday,” he replied.

“It’ll be faster if I–”

“Raleigh, you didn’t send it, did you?” Mr.Roman asked, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Forward me the original email if you did.”

“I’m sorry. I thought I did,” she said, knowing she’d been caught.

“What has been going on with you? I’ve never had these kinds of problems. Then, recently, it’s like you’re not on top of things at all. A simple email from me used to be enough. Now, I have to email you and follow up with a phone call when you don’t deliver.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I–”

“Raleigh, I can’t. I don’t have the time. Send the email to me and the client right now, please. Then, send me the invoice, and I’ll get your final payment over to you by end of day.”

“Final?” she checked.

“It’s just easier if I do this for myself until I can find someone else.”

“Mr. Roman, I–”

“I can’t, Raleigh. I’m sorry. I need someone reliable. My business is growing. I might as well just do this stuff myself until I can find someone who can be in the office and dedicate forty hours a week to me and not their other clients.”

“I’ll send you the invoice,” she replied, defeated.

“Thanks. I’d recommend maybe slimming down your number of clients or just making sure that you can take care of the ones you have. I’m not going to bad-mouth you or anything, but I can’t keep paying you when I’m doing a lot of the work.”

“I understand. I really am sorry,” Raleigh said.

“Send the email with the info?” he asked.

“I’ll do it right now,” she replied.

It was the least she could do. She’d screwed up several things for him over the past few weeks, and he had every right to fire her. It just wasn’t good news, and she needed more clients, not fewer. She had enough to get by now, but nothing saved, and that made her worry about the future. God, she’d worked so hard to start saving young in order to have money later, but now, it was all gone because someone had decided to take her daughter away from her, and she was spending everything she’d saved up trying to find her. The copy place down the street had donated the first batch of fliers, but she’d gone back day after day, printing more to hang around her town and every town in three surrounding counties. And she’d do it all again, too. She’d spend every dime she had if it meant having Eden back.

While Raleigh would still be able to make her mortgage payment, and she had enough for food and other bills, she’d really wanted that recommendation from Mr.Roman to put on her website. At least, he wasn’t going to bad-mouth her. That was about the only good thing. In the meantime, she was friends with a network of VAs who sometimes shared clients and work. It wasn’t something they told their clients, but she could always let them know she had the bandwidth to take on projects. She’d make less per hour by doing this, but it could still work until she picked up a client to replace Mr.Roman and maybe a few others.

Raleigh looked down at her phone when it dinged at her, expecting a text from Mr.Roman asking why he didn’t have the email yet, but instead, she saw Hollis’s name and opened the app. She quickly typed her response and then made sure the email was sent this time before she wrapped up by getting Mr.Roman the invoice for the few hours of work she’d done for him this week and closed her computer. Then, she went to change.

◆◆◆

“Over here,” Hollis said, waving.

Raleigh smiled. She’d been doing that a lot lately, and she hadn’t smiled and laughed this much even since before that day. Hollis seemed to bring it out in her. What was more interesting to her about it was that she hadn’t felt guilty about it, even though, from the first moment she’d lost her daughter, the guilt had sunk into her, deep down inside. Everything Raleigh did made her feel awful. When she’d pour herself a glass of water, she worried Eden was thirsty. When she’d sit down for dinner, once she could actually keep something down, she felt guilty because her little girl might be hungry and unable to eat. As Raleigh walked toward Hollis, though, she didn’t feel guilty about joining her for a drink, and that worried her.

“Thanks for the invite,” she said, sitting down across from Hollis in the booth.

“Thanks for coming.”

“It’s early for you. We usually don’t get together until after your mom is asleep.”

“She told me I was hovering and that I needed to get out of the house,” Hollis replied, laughing. “She’s probably right: I’ve been a little all over her lately.”

“Did you ask her about Ada’s brother?”

Hollis nodded and said, “She doesn’t want to see him.”

“Oh, Hollis… I’m sorry.”

“Me too. She explained why, though, and I think I’m starting to understand. It’s not about me, you know? It’s about her. She’s the one in pain.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“What can I get for you? Happy hour is on for another five minutes,” the bartender said when he approached.

“Are you hungry?” Raleigh asked. “They have good apps here.”

“Half off for the next four minutes,” the bartender added.

“I thought it was five,” Hollis noted.

The guy pointed to the clock on the wall, and, indeed, it was now four minutes till seven.

“Right,” Hollis said. “Sure. I can eat.”

“Nachos? Potato skins?” the bartender asked.

“Whatever you want,” Hollis replied with a sideways smile Raleigh hadn’t seen on her before.

“Both,” Raleigh said. “And I’ll have a lite beer. Whatever you have on tap is fine.”

“Just water for me,” Hollis added.

“Two light beers,” Raleigh told the bartender instead. “What?” she asked when Hollis turned to look at her. “If I order them both now, they’re half off.”

“I’ll be right back,” he replied.

“Are you okay? Two beers?”

“You asked me to have a drink with you, Hollis, and you’re drinking water.”

“I’m not much of a drinker.”

“I thought if we were at a bar, though, you might have an actual drink. ”

“I just thought coffee was getting old,” Hollis replied.

“You’re bored having coffee with me already?” Raleigh teased.

“No,” Hollis said seriously. “Just thought a change of scenery might be nice.”

Raleigh leaned over the heavily lacquered table and asked, “Hey, what’s going on? You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Everything,” Hollis said, leaning back. “I’ve got a prosecutor calling me, telling me there’s going to be a trial because my dad won’t take a great deal to stop this circus for the rest of us. My mom won’t get treatment for her cancer, and it’s getting worse. I feel guilty going to work every day and not spending every second of that time with her, but I have bills to pay. Then, the library called me today and said they couldn’t extend my leave any longer. They were looking to make cutbacks anyway, and since I’m down here for who knows how long, they just started with me. I found that out right before I texted you. They told me they were sending a box with my stuff in it to my apartment in Vancouver. I don’t even know what stuff they’re talking about, Raleigh. I didn’t have anything on my desk. Maybe a stapler or something. I don’t know.” Hollis sighed. “The defense attorney also called again today. He’s still asking me to help my dad. I’ve got both sides now trying to get me to either help them put my father away for twenty-five-to-life or get him off for kidnapping me.”

When the bartender dropped off the two beers Raleigh had ordered, along with the glass of water Hollis had asked for, Raleigh pushed one of the beers toward Hollis.

“I think you need this more than I do.”

“I just want it all to be over already,” Hollis said.

“I know. I’m sorry you have to go through this. None of this is your fault.”

“Why won’t he take the deal? The prosecutor said he offered ten years. He’d be out in five with good behavior.”

“I don’t know,” Raleigh replied, wishing she had something she could say that would make things better .

Hollis grasped the beer mug with both hands before she moved it closer to herself, but she didn’t drink it.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to dump all this on you.”

“It’s okay. You can dump anything you need to on me,” Raleigh replied, meaning it. When Hollis licked her lips, looking like she was about to say something, Raleigh waited a moment, but when the woman didn’t end up saying anything, Raleigh added, “It’s a lot, Hollis.”

“I know.”

“Are you really doing okay with it?”

“I don’t know.” Hollis looked toward the horseshoe bar in the middle of the room.

“You know, there’s this doctor Molly keeps recommending to me,” Raleigh shared. “He’s supposed to be trained in dealing with people like you and me.”

“Like you and me?”

“Kidnappings and missing persons; victims and family members,” Raleigh explained.

“I don’t really consider myself a victim,” Hollis replied. “Even though the FBI and the prosecutor call me that.”

“I have his information, if you want it.”

“Do you go to him?” Hollis asked.

“No,” Raleigh admitted. “And I probably should, but I’ve been resisting therapy outside of the group.”

“Why?”

“A couple of reasons. I run my own business, so I pay for my benefits, and they are expensive as is. Therapy isn’t even included in what I have now.”

“I will never understand this country’s inability to provide healthcare to its citizens,” Hollis stated.

Raleigh smiled and said, “Says the Canadian.”

“Universal healthcare is a real thing, Raleigh.”

Raleigh laughed and replied, “I know.”

“And I’m not really Canadian,” Hollis added. “My dad just found someone to forge my birth certificate.”

“I know that, too. ”

“You said there were two reasons,” Hollis noted.

“Oh. I just never really thought I’d need therapy. It’s stupid, right? There’s nothing wrong with talking to someone. I just feel like going to group should be enough.”

“But what if it’s not?” Hollis checked.

“I haven’t gotten to that point yet, but I might.”

“And you think I am?” Hollis asked, lifting the beer to her lips.

“No, I just thought I should mention it. You seem off tonight. I want you to be okay, Hollis.”

“You know, I was working up the courage to do something, but I don’t think now is the right time,” Hollis told her. “Can I maybe have a rain check on drinks?”

“We’re having drinks right now,” Raleigh pointed out.

“I know. I think I need to go, though.”

“Hollis, what’s going on?” she asked a little louder than she’d intended.

“I wanted to ask you out, Raleigh. On a date, not just drinks. I didn’t have the guts to ask you over the phone, so I texted that we should have drinks. I’ve been sitting here wondering how in the hell I’d manage to ask you out when I can’t stop talking about all my shit. Then, you suggested that I need therapy, which I’m not mad about or anything, but I don’t think asking someone out right after they tell you to go to a shrink is the best chance to get a date, either. So, now, I think I’d rather just go home and try to get myself out of whatever funk I’m in right now.”

“You wanted to ask me out?” Raleigh leaned back.

“I like you,” Hollis replied. “It’s dumb. I know. How we met, and what we both have going on… But my mom told me I should go for it, and Kenna said–”

“Kenna?”

“We’re friends now, I think,” Hollis explained. “She figured it out, that I liked you, and she, too, told me that I should tell you.”

“I didn’t know, Hollis,” Raleigh replied.

“Yeah, well… Now you do. And I’m embarrassed, ti red, and about a hundred other emotions right now.” Hollis reached for her purse, which was next to her in the booth, pulled out her wallet and some cash, and deposited it on the table. “That should cover the drinks and the food. I’m just going to go.”

“Hollis, wait. Let’s talk about this. Don’t just go.”

“Would you say yes, Raleigh?” she asked. “If I asked you, would you say yes?”

Raleigh looked into Hollis’s eyes, which were sad and clearly exhausted.

“No,” she replied. “But not because I wouldn’t want to. I–”

“It’s okay. I understand,” Hollis said.

“How can you? You won’t let me finish.”

“Does the reason really matter, though?” Hollis asked, slipping out of the booth. “Don’t drink both of those and then drive home, okay?”

“I got the other one for you,” Raleigh replied softly, looking down at the beer in her hand that she hadn’t yet touched. “Hollis, can you–”

“I’m sorry. I know this is rude… and a lot. I just… I thought I could, but I can’t, so I need to go.”

With that, Hollis left.