5. New Guy Jax

W hen the game was over and Hawk came out victorious long after the other four groups left the store, we cleaned up the table and said our goodbyes. Jax gathered our numbers and traded text messages until we were all on the same chat thread. He was a fine addition to us, regardless of my apprehension. I was simultaneously over the moon and panicked that he would be a regular at game night.

Jax lingered by me after Annie and Cordelia caught an Uber. His small talk was nauseating. “Is you guys’s place close by here?”

We don’t live together yet but I don’t want to say that out loud because Rob will hear me and think I’m trying to force him into talking about it again and that’s not something I want to tell you because you—

I halted the running dialogue in my head and kept things short to avoid saying something I might regret and shrugged instead. “Not really.”

“Yeah, I don’t live close either. I kinda wish I’d known how hard it was to get around in the city before picking my roommate. It takes almost an hour to get to work in the morning. Shit—I thought Denver’s traffic was bad.”

“Colorado, huh?” I did my best to pretend I knew nothing about him; how he’d grown up in Denver, how his Dad worked construction, how his mother used to take us to the Tattered Cover bookstore and let us run rampant through the stacks. “So, what brought you out here?”

“Work, and I had to get the hell out of there. They could’ve sent me to Mars, and I would’ve said yes.”

He didn’t say what I secretly wanted him to. It stung. I’m such a moron. You didn’t move out here for me. It’s been, what, twelve years? Almost thirteen?

“Why’s that?” I asked.

“My girl left me. Correction, she cheated, and I kicked her out. Glad I found out before proposing.” Jax pressed his lips in a thin line, then flitted his eyes toward me. “Sorry. It’s not anyone’s problem but mine. Don’t mean to unload that on you when we just met.”

How sad. “No, it’s—”

“You ready?” Rob asked me, killing our conversation.

Ethan chimed in, tempering my irritation with Rob’s harshness. “Thanks for coming in tonight, Jax. We’ll be happy to have you as a regular. Next time, show up a little early and I’ll let you pick a set of dice from the case, on me.” He shook Jax’s hand again.

Jax beamed. “Wow, that’s awesome. I’d better head out. Rob, Tabby, real nice to meet you.” He waved with a more suppressed smile as he turned to leave, then put an open hand over his head to protect from the rain.

“He’s decent,” Rob said, then grimaced when I glared at him. “What’s that look for?”

“You know exactly what. Why were you such an asshole to him?” I folded my arms and stepped back to not be so close. “That gatekeeping you don’t fit in here bullshit.”

“Okay, you two,” Ethan said, acting as peacekeeper, which he often did. “Personally, I think Jax is great. He lives by Golden Gate Park, but his roommate’s never home. Seems temporary. I’m thinking about asking him to move in upstairs so he’s not as far away from everything. I could use the company since Carlos left.”

Hawk sauntered past us. “I think Ethan has a crush on the new guy.” He made kissy noises and squeaked before running out the door.

Gavin chased him. “Get back here, you! Later, everybody.” They ran through the rain to the parking structure up the street.

I watched Ethan carefully, and he smirked on just one side while staring at the floor.

Oh, no. Not that.

“Come on. It’s time to go home,” Rob said, taking my hand.

I nodded and let him lead me away. The sooner I could forget about that night, the better.

––––––––

R ob drove with the radio on and didn’t try to chat with me. I was lost in thought and silent the whole ride back to my apartment. He pulled up to the sidewalk in front of my building and locked the door so I couldn’t escape.

“You feeling okay?” he asked, sounding more soft and concerned than he had all day.

“Yeah. I’m fine, I think.” More lies. More hiding. I’m trapped in a new darkness.

Rob rubbed my hand. “Tabby, look at me.”

I turned but could barely see his olive eyes in the dark.

“I can tell something’s wrong. You’ve been weirdly quiet all night.”

“It’s just...” I sighed, but Rob was being kind, like he genuinely cared about what I had to say and wasn’t already forming a response in his mind before I finished. A nasty habit. “Did you happen to hear Jax say where he was from?”

Rob squinted. “No...?”

“He’s from Colorado. Came from Denver. I used to live in Denver, remember?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, so?”

“It...brought back some memories, is all. I’m fine.”

“So, you’re upset because some dude showed up to D it’s me. I have a lot on my mind, okay?”

“Babe, come ‘ere.” He graced the side of my face with the tips of his fingers, following the dark line of hair on my jaw. “I can stay over if you don’t want to be alone.”

I kissed his hand. “Thanks, but I have an early morning tomor-row and don’t want to kick you out before you have to get ready.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking about what you asked me last month.” Rob closed in on me, leaning across the cocked emergency break to be in my space.

My heart pounded. Tonight was turning into a crossroads of my past life and my current one. Are you remembering the same conversation?

“Tabby, you were right. It would be nice not to have to sleep alone ever again.” He kissed me softly, his bottom lip lingering against mine. “I wouldn’t want to wake up with anyone else but you.”

“Rob, really?” What a delightful distraction. My breath caught.

“Yeah.” He nodded and pecked me again. “My lease is coming up in ten days. I’ll start moving stuff in next week. More than a drawer this time.”

I let out a prolonged sigh. “Can’t wait.”

“I love you, babe.” Rob squeezed my earlobe when he kissed me once more. In a switch from his annoyance at my taking time to change, his affection brought me back to why I loved him in the first place. The gift of our future was exactly what I needed to bring me back to earth.

When I got to the door of the building, he beeped his horn and winked at me, then drove to his apartment five miles away—one of the last times he’d ever do so. Life wasn’t what I thought it would be when I was seventeen, but this was so much better. Wasn’t it?