4. Nice to Meet You Tabby

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“T old you we’d be late ,” Rob said, shaking the handle of the locked game shop for Ethan’s attention. “They already got started without us.”

I rolled my eyes. “We’re only five minutes past closing. Chill out.”

“You were the one who insisted on changing after work. You know nobody cares if you wear your scrubs.”

“Except me. I care.” I tucked the waist of my shirt—a beige button-up covered in bright-colored books—into my black skinny jeans. “Come on, I can’t do fun things at work, and I’m there all day every day. Least you could do is support me wanting to get some use out of the rest of my closet once a week.”

He puffed up in his red hoodie. “Is that a jab at me for not taking you out enough? You’re the one who—”

“No, no. Not this again. I took an extra five minutes at my place to change. That’s all. We’re not going to let five minutes explode into a fight before D then I remembered people were watching, so I took him firmly. You taught me how to do this long ago. Straight wrist, firm grasp, quick end. Do you remember the lines of my palm the way I remember yours, even now? They’re familiar, like tracks in the land that I’ve cut to not forget my way home.

“Nice grip,” he said, releasing me.

“Uh-huh.” I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Like the last night I saw him, I was otherwise numb.

He squinted, flitting his gaze over my face. “Have...have we met before?”

“No, you don’t know me,” I said, hating myself as I did.

“So, are we ready to get started?” Rob shook my shoulder. “Babe?”

“I’ll be right back.” Escaping before I lost my cool, I ran to the bathroom and disappeared.

Catching my breath felt impossible. The man in my reflection meant nothing to Jax. He had no idea. I now had a dark, defined goatee. Hair that was no longer bleached and curled—instead, it was auburn and barely reached past my ears, flipping forward in a natural wave. I was bulkier, confident, not afraid to be who I was and show it to the world. Tabby’s eyes, my eyes, were hidden behind rainbow-colored contacts that I wore to cover my coloboma.

It was my only escape. Like this, even Jax’s keen senses couldn’t guess. If my eye was covered, so was I.

“I’m okay. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t have to know. I’ll tell him when I’m ready, if I tell him at all. I don’t have to. I can just...go out there and act like everything’s normal. It’s fine. It’s—”

On my hand was my D&D ring. Jax’s ring. The same ring he gave me years ago. I wore it every time I gamed because without it, my D20 rolls were low.

Is the ring lucky, or is it you, Wah?

As I stared at the twisted branch talisman on my thumb, a tear spattered on my knuckles. “Dammit.” I wiped my face and sniffed back hard, then took a few deep breaths and cracked my neck. An inescapable feeling of exposure came over me, and my psyche and self were naked in a way I’d never been. The ghost of my past life returned to haunt me.

“He won’t know you. Don’t say anything.” I took off the ring and stuffed it in my pocket, certain even if Rob noticed it was gone, he wouldn’t mention it. “It’s Tabby’s turn to get to know Jax. So, there.”

Outside the bathroom, Annie grabbed a can of Coke from the machine. “Hey, everything okay?”

Hell no. “Uh-huh.” I raked through my hair and straightened my shirt once more.

She quieted her voice and stood close to me. “Are you and Rob fighting again?”

“Ugh.” Standing against the wall, I hid my face a little.

“He’s still giving you shit, isn’t he?” Annie sighed. “When are you going to tell him—”

I mumbled, “It seems not telling people things is my new M.O.”

“What does that mean?” she asked, putting a concerned hand on my shoulder.

“Nothing. Thanks for looking out for me, but Rob and I are fine. Let’s go.”

Everyone was laughing when we returned. I sat beside Rob and kissed his cheek. “Sorry about that.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Forgot to pee in my rush to get ready. What’re we doing?”

Cordelia cleared off the table in front of her. “It’s a Battle Royale tonight. Since Jax doesn’t have any character sheets, we’re just gonna pick something and fight to the death. Last man standing sets the campaign for next week.”

“Or last man standing declares Hawk’s new name,” Gavin said with a chuckle.

“Sheezus,” I groaned, but winked at Hawk. It never bothered me that he couldn’t stand his given name. Made sense to me, even if he only wanted to play around with us and not do it for real. Even my last name changed when I made things official, so I respected all of Hawk’s efforts to redefine himself.

Jax helped unfold a large hand-drawn battle map that Annie brought, already armed with various pitfalls. “I really appreciate you letting me cut in. How long have you been running this, Annie?”

She cocked a brow and eyed me. “Actually, Tabby started the group four years ago. Rob joined a couple years after and brought Ethan, and they set up the regular game nights here. I just like being DM more than playing a character.”

“Oh.” Jax looked my way. “Hope you don’t mind my being here, then.”

“It’s cool.” I averted his gaze and focused on anything that could distract me from him. Impossible, but at least I tried.

“I’m sure you’ll find a group that you fit in with soon enough,” Rob said.

We all paused.

Hawk snapped, “Excuse me?”

Rob’s patronizing tone threw a cloud over everyone. “Come on. He isn’t exactly...one of us , if you catch my drift.”

I tapped his shoulder and whispered, “What are you doing?”

“Did I...miss something?” Jax asked as his cheeks flushed.

Gavin leaned forward. “Rob’s implying that we all have something in common. Did you notice?”

Jax’s brow furrowed, and he met everyone’s eyes around the table. “Um. Gimme a hint.”

“Well, some of us prefer a little more male persuasion than others,” Gavin said, hugging Hawk at his side.

“Some of us, women ,” Cordelia chimed in, looking at the map again to dismiss the issue.

“A few of us prefer a, uh, more complex trans action.” Rob chuckled and bumped against me. While I normally would’ve found his comment funny, now I felt he used it to push Jax away.

Ethan huffed. “He’s bi. One of us. Can we please drop this?”

Lightning shot through me. Jax said that?

“Wait, wait, wait.” Jax leaned back and held his hands up. “I really don’t get it.”

“We’re all queer, dude,” Rob said flatly. “This is the LGBT D&D group.”

Annie added with a groan, “Excuse me, add the A to the end of that, if you don’t mind.”

The blush creeping up Jax’s face said he truly didn’t notice. “Um. Okay?”

“But if you say you’re bi...I guess we’ll take your word for it.” Rob sighed and arched his brows while shaking his head.

So, you don’t believe him? Why are you being such an asshole right now? I wanted to defend Jax, but fear held me back. After all, I didn’t know enough about him now to say anything.

“Rob, don’t be a dick.” Ethan snapped his fingers at Jax to get his attention. “Seriously, it’s fine. You fit in great. Rob and Tabby are trans, you can guess who all’s gay, Annie’s ace, and I’m bi, but I think pan fits better—the labels are always shifting a little. Whatever works. You don’t need to prove anything.”

“Thanks, I guess.” He folded into himself somewhat, losing a bit of the shiny excitement he had when Rob and I came in.

Annie passed out two trays for dice rolling. “Enough of this crap. To the death!”