30. Revisited Jax

––––––––

“M issed you for turkey soup, kid,” Dad said, yammering on about work while I anxiously prepped for the night’s date. His voice in the background distracted me enough to keep me from checking my text messages every five minutes to make sure Tabby hadn’t canceled. “It was better this year since your mother wasn’t around to leave the burner on and turn the bottom to sludge.”

He’d said the same thing every year since she left. “Thought you liked how she overcooked everything.”

“It was her signature style. Didn’t mean I liked it. Wonder if Brian’s enjoyed her hockey puck— I mean pot roast—yet.” He chuckled, more lighthearted than I’d heard him in a while.

Despite his recent turn to feeling comfortable by himself, I worried. This would be his first year with nobody at home. Even if he didn’t say he missed Mom terribly, the truth lingered. “How are you holdin’ up for Christmas, Dad? Need me to come out and keep you company for a few days?”

He sighed. “Nah, I think I’ll be alright. Besides, if your date goes well, you won’t exactly have time to come out here, will you?”

A shiver ran up my spine. “Here’s hoping.”

“Your mother always dragged us to that ballet. Guess I’m glad for it. Helped teach you to be a gentleman.”

“No, you taught me that.”

“Damn right I fuckin’ did,” he said with a laugh that forced me to stop shaving so I could, too.

“I know you’d like this guy, Dad. Maybe I’ll get lucky and bring Tabby home to meet you soon.”

“Sure. You’re a good judge of character. Truth be told, though, never did like Heather. Always felt something was off about her, knowhatImean?”

I rolled my eyes and patted my face dry. “You’ve said that about all my exes but one.”

“Well, that’s because Jamie was special, Jax.” He yawned. “Hey, it’s getting late, isn’t it? When are you leaving?”

I sighed and picked up the phone, which had been firmly on the bathroom counter while I got ready. Shirt, pants, tie, all black, more serious than my normal palette. It felt appropriate for the occasion—confident, cool, and worth remembering. “I have about twenty minutes before I have to get in the car. I’m so anxious, I might leave now and circle the block a few times just to shake my nerves out.”

“Hmm, that— oh ,” he coughed, like he stubbed his toe.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, kid. Must’ve hurt my back earlier. I have a twinge in my shoulder. Let me know tomorrow how things go, alright? I’ll be thinkin’ about ya.”

“I will, Dad. Extra hot, extra—”

“Cheese, extra crispy relleno, kid. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Wish me luck.” Click.

As if mercy smiled on me, a text from Tabby lit up my screen when the call ended.

Don’t forget to be here by six.

Leaving now.

The man in my mirror was nearly a stranger with his crisp, dark outfit and visible nerves. I tucked the phone into my back pocket along with my wallet. My keys felt empty, lighter than they should’ve been since I’d finally purged the old one for the duplex back home. It represented the lock on my heart that kept me from opening up to anyone but Tabby. Now that he welcomed me on his own, I didn’t need to guard myself.

I put on my father’s double-breasted wool trench coat—one of the many relics from my youth that didn’t fit him anymore. It was too formal for him anyway. The soft fabric used to swallow my lanky self; now, I filled it well. The green and black scarf Jamie made for me years ago waited in the side pocket, where it lived for its annual reveal. I unrolled it with care, wrapping it once around my neck before tying it in front.

With my courage bundled in the yarn down my torso, as if Jamie’s blessing accompanied me, I hurried to the garage at the top of the street, ready for tonight to be the last first date I’d ever go on.