Chapter 13 - Victoria

Victoria

X avier slept soundly next to me. I sat up and watched him, toying with my sore lip. I wanted him to bite it some more. I wanted him to do everything some more. Kiss me, talk dirty to me, bite me, spank me. Well, he hasn’t spanked me yet even though I tried to make it happen a couple of times. He totally knew what I was up to.

I felt like the one who needed to be tamed, not him.

Tamed. Held. Loved. His.

Shit .

What am I DOING?

Mind-blowing sex was not part of the plan. An aggressive, possibly dominant man was also not part of the plan. Falling in…nope. Don’t even go there.

The plan was the damn house. Nothing more.

Okay fine. I liked him. He’s engaging, hot, dirty, fun, mysterious to a degree, spectacular in bed. A pleasurable distraction to an otherwise annoying trip across the pond.

I reached out and touched his hair, gently running my fingers through it.

So soft.

I sifted my fingers through it again, reveling in the feeling. I’d done this so much over the last few days it should feel normal. Yet, sitting here in the dark and sneaking a touch while he slept felt forbidden. Like I was tempting fate.

So I kept tempting. Tracing the scar above his eye. Caressing down his cheek, over his stubbled jaw to his mouth. I moved down his neck to his collarbone, tracing the words Trust Your Struggle inked in black script. I should ask him what this meant.

I stopped when his breath hitched.

A hand encased my fingers, squeezing them. Holding my hand tight to his chest, he inhaled slow. Without saying a word, he pulled me down beside him, resting his head in the crook of my neck. He kept my hand firmly pressed to his chest, his eyes remaining closed.

“Victoria. You belong right here. With me. Always.” His voice was deep and raspy, thick with sleep. The sound vibrated straight to my core. His warm breath tickled my neck on an exhale.

A powerful compulsion to imagine a future with him tempted and taunted me.

No.

I can’t.

This has to end when I get on the plane Wednesday.

It has to.

“This looks ridiculous on me.” I turned every which way possible to see myself at all angles in the bathroom mirror. “I’m putting my dress on instead.”

I brushed by Xavier, who stood shirtless in jeans with an amused grin on his face. “You’ll be in my car. Nobody can see you. Except me. And I think you look cute.”

I stopped, turning on my heel to face him. “First of all, bunnies and puppies are cute.” He snort-laughed. I continued, “Second, I’m literally swimming in this.” I held out my arms. My hands were nonexistent thanks to how long the sleeves on this hoodie were. “And don’t get me started on these pants.”

He prowled over to me with a smile, led me to his full-length mirror and placed me in front of it. “What’s with all the dramatics?” He stood behind me with his hands on my hips. “I like you in my clothes.”

I caught his eye in the mirror. They glowed with adoration and mischief. I sighed, soaking in my temporary outfit. A royal blue zip-up hoodie with the Royal City crest sewn on the upper-left chest along with stretchy warm-up pants. He’s so damn tall and muscular. I looked like a little kid in his clothes.

“I don’t mind wearing this. The problem,” I paused when he pressed soft kisses to my neck, “is really just these pants. They’re way too long.”

“I’m sure you’ll sort it out.” He grinned, swatted my backside, and walked away to finish getting dressed.

“Menace,” I called after him with a smile. I settled on cuffing the pant legs. The fact that every inch of material I had on my body smelled like him didn’t escape me. Honestly, it made me lightheaded in a way that was reserved for long-term boyfriend status.

Knock. It. OFF.

Xavier was scrolling through his phone when I walked into the living room.

“Anything good happening on your phone?”

He glanced up. “Not really. But I could take your picture and change all that.”

“Don’t even think about it,” I paused and emphasized, “ mate ” while grabbing my dress and heels.

“I’ll post it on Instagram,” he teased, watching me put my heels on. “ You’ll go viral.”

“I will end you,” I threatened, half-serious. “Besides, I don’t need all the unnecessary attention as much as you do.”

“Gotta keep the fans happy, love,” he said, leading me to the door. “You should follow me. I’ll let you slide into my DMs.”

I laughed as he fake moaned about only having two million followers while I bragged about my paltry twelve hundred followers that loved to see what coffee mug I used each day.

“You really think I’m going to let you drive my car?” Xavier’s inquiry made me jump. I stood by the passenger door waiting for him to unlock it.

“No, I’m, oh.” The realization dawned on me. The passenger side for me was the driver’s side for him. “Right. Still in England.”

“Americans,” he muttered with mock distain, laughing at me as I shuffled to the other side of his car.

“You love me,” I retorted, looking him straight in the eyes. His easy-going exterior faltered.

I had no filter when I flirted. Approaching the line but never crossing it was one of my favorite games to play. Killian could scoff at my no sleeping with the product line all he wanted but he knew my reasoning behind it.

No attachments. Ever.

Broken people didn’t get happy endings. Especially the ones at fault for destroying an innocent person’s life. Doubly so if that person was their twin. Triply so if it tore the whole family apart.

I already thought of myself as a horrible person. What others said about me could never be worse.

“Thanks for letting me borrow these.” I handed the folded hoodie and pants to Xavier. I’d changed into my own clothes and started laying out the rest to pack later.

“Keep them,” he offered. “Authentic souvenirs. Way better than a tea cup with the King’s face on it.”

“I’ll pass, thanks,” I laughed.

“On the tea cup? Smart move.”

“You know what I mean,” I grinned.

“You’ll change your mind. I could tell you liked being in them.”

His ability to combine cockiness, a touch of arrogance, and flirting was pretty masterful. The fact that he could do it without coming off as a complete asshole was also impressive.

“Do you plan on keeping me in this bedroom all day?” The silkiness in his tone prompted me to stop folding and look up. He leaned into the door jamb all casual and hot and boyfriend-like, exuding sex appeal with little effort.

Nope. No more sex. Maybe some kissing. Definitely some kissing but that’s it.

“You’re free to explore,” I suggested. A sultry glow lit up his eyes, forcing me to amend my statement. “The house. You’re free to explore the house.”

“Smooth. C’mon. Stop fidgeting with your clothes and let’s go get lunch. Remember, you’re with me all day.”

Food sounded like the best idea. Besides, I wanted to see Dawn and Ray before leaving. A little twinge of sadness filled me for not spending as much time with them as I’d planned. Charlotte and I loved going to the Black Rose Tavern. Dawn would always give us extra french fries with our orders. She also worked tirelessly to convince us mayonnaise tasted better on them than ketchup.

Poor thing. We never had the heart to tell her nothing topped ranch dressing.

And then there was Ray. He called us his two little ginger snaps while serving us heaping bowls of Eton’s Mess. With all the empty calories we consumed there my mother would always make sure we ate nothing but fruits and vegetables once we got home.

Not too many people were at Black Rose, so we opted to sit at the bar. Dawn came over as soon as she saw us.

“This is a lovely surprise,” she beamed, eyeing me warmly.

“Figured it was time to be cordial to my neighbors,” Xavier said, winking at Dawn.

“Helps that she’s a looker, yeah?” She reached over and ruffled his hair in a motherly way. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Xavier blushed. This man can’t possibly have a bashful bone in his body.

I smiled at their interaction. Dawn was about twenty years older than me. She and Ray never had children so I considered her to be the cool aunt type. She was stylish, always ready for a joke, and had the kindest brown eyes.

“You know me,” he stated. “Always the gentleman.”

“You’re a rogue,” she declared. “I’m keeping an eye on you.” Turning to me she asked, “The usual fish and chips for you, love?”

“Yes, please.”

“Same for me,” Xavier chimed in. “And don’t hold back on the chips.”

“I thought your body was a temple,” she teased.

“It is.” He smirked. “But the temple is closed today.”

Dawn scoffed and swatted his arm gently before heading toward the kitchen. I pounced at my chance for a little fun at his expense.

“So you do have the ability to be friends with a woman you haven’t slept with.”

“Wow. Do you want the knife back that you just plunged into my heart?”

“Drama doesn’t suit you.” I rested my arm on the bar. “How long have you known Dawn and Ray?”

“Since I moved here. Ten years.” He put his hand on my arm, stroking it slowly. “How long have you known them?”

“Forever.” The light caresses on my arm set off a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. “I was probably nine or ten when I first met her.”

“So before she owned the place?”

“Mmhmm. She worked here then. There was no Ray at the time. Well, there was. They just weren’t a thing.”

“A thing,” he repeated quietly, turning my hand so the palm faced up. “You came here with your family often?” He glided a finger along my palm before holding my hand. I knew what he was doing. He wanted me unguarded.

“We’d come here in the summer. Usually mid-July to mid-August.”

He rested his foot on the lower rung of my stool, positioning his leg so it fit between my knees. The constant feel of his body on mine helped assuage my growing anxiety. Keeping my walls up around him became more and more of a challenge. The more physical contact there was, the less resistance I had.

“Did you like coming here?”

“Very much.”

He laced his fingers in mine, pulling my hand down to his lap so he could hold it in both of his. He looked at me with his brows knit together, like I was a puzzle meant to be solved. Like there was some huge secret meant to be uncovered.

“You should come back more often.”

“Why?”

One shoulder lifted in a small, elegant shrug. “Just a suggestion. Besides, I need someone to swat all the ladies away like you did the other night.”

I stifled a giggle. “Seriously?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to mention it but yeah, that would be a big help.”

“There must be hundreds of them.”

“Another knife.” He clutched his chest in mock agony. “I don’t know whether to kiss you or leave with whatever dignity I have left.”

“What happened to nothing about you being fragile? A little truth never hurt anyone.”

“Maybe.” He ran his tongue along his bottom lip. “I’d end up kissing you though.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Yeah? I could kiss you right now.”

I felt my cheeks flush. Sneaky flirt. “You could.”

“I want to.” He reached to feel my lip, which I knew was still a little bruised. The whisper-soft caress felt so good. “I won’t stop if I do.”

His hand fell back to his lap to hold mine while I sat beguiled by his words. By his touch. By the way his throat worked when he swallowed. The messy tousle of his hair. The flecks of midnight in his sapphire eyes. The urbane exterior that swaddled the edgy, sexy, filthy lover beneath it.

Two plates of food slid in front of us, breaking the spell.

“Alright you two, enjoy.” Dawn caught a glimpse of my hand in his and smiled at me. “I told you to watch out for this one. The charm is real.”

Oh, Dawn. You have no idea how real .

He released my hand so we could dig into the food. True to form, the chips were plentiful. I didn’t realize how hungry I was. I’d had an apple at Xavier’s place this morning but that was it. I wasn’t about to make him prepare a gourmet breakfast for me. For one, that’s not my style. Plus, it’s not what casual flings do. It falls firmly in the long-term boyfriend column, which he was not.

Still, I was curious about so many things. I pulled out my phone and searched his name on social media. I found him pretty quick.

“Hmm. You really like to post photos of yourself diving for the ball.”

He glanced over at me. The left corner of his mouth ticked up in a smile. “Checking me out, are you?”

“Well, you know. I suppose I should see what the fuss is all about.”

He looked inexplicably sexy in his uniform. Maybe this wasn’t as good an idea as I thought. Getting all hot and bothered scrolling through his feed while sitting next to him wasn’t exactly smart.

A video of him with a young boy no older than six or seven caught my attention. They were fist bumping and posing for a photo.

“Who is this little boy?” I asked, turning my phone so he could see.

“Oh.” His eyes brightened. “He’s my number one fan. Theo. We spent part of the afternoon hanging out at training last month.”

Another longer video showed Theo meeting other players, including Cade. They were all sitting in the locker room laughing.

I smiled. I love when professional athletes give their time in this way. There was additional footage of Xavier chatting with Theo and showing him around parts of the stadium. Looks like this little boy also got to meet the manager.

And he assisted Xavier in goal with some drills.

My heart melted. Sexy, talented, and a really good guy.

I’m so screwed .

“How did this all come about?”

“Funny story actually. He was imitating some of my moves in goal and his dad put together a video with a side by side comparison. It went viral. Apparently the internet thinks I’ll be replaced by a six year old this season.”

I laughed. “Love it.”

I closed out the app and put my phone away. “So, what do you have planned for me for today?” I asked, dipping a french fry in his mayonnaise. “Aside from stopping by the cottage?”

“Do you really want to know or do you want it to be a surprise?” He pushed the mayo closer to me.

“Do you actually have a plan or is this one of your deflection tactics?”

“That’s the fun of it,” he said silkily. “Keeping you off guard.”

“There she is,” Ray bellowed, walking over to me. “I heard a rumor you were out here with this hooligan.”

Xavier’s pout made me laugh .

He waved off Xavier’s expression with a good-natured grin and hugged me. “Just as pretty as the last time I saw you. It’s been too long, Victoria.”

“I know, I know.”

“Thank goodness your father keeps us up to date on what you’re doing.”

My mouth popped open in shock. “He does?”

“Yes, yes. He comes here once a year. Tells us what you’re up to. Brags about your fancy job with that American football team all the time.”

“I had no idea,” I said softly. “I mean, I knew he visited his cousins. I just didn’t know he’d come here.”

Ray smiled. “Maybe you’ll be back more often, too.” He looked at Xavier. “Convince her, would ya? Use some of this alleged charm my wife keeps going on and on about.”

“I’m working on it.”

“I like how you’re both conspiring in front of me.” I chuckled.

“You class this place up, Victoria,” Ray declared. “Besides, Dawn and I consider you family. I don’t care how many years have passed, you’re always welcome here. Always.”

I hugged Ray again, finding it hard to keep the tears from falling. I managed to hold them back though. I missed these people. I missed coming here every summer. I missed my sister. I missed my family. I missed so many things about how life used to be.

“Thank you.” I squeezed Ray tight before letting him go. “I’ll try to come back.”

“You better.” His gentle smile almost broke me. “I was very sorry to hear about Charlotte. She was so lovely. You two were always a joy for us every summer. I hope you know we’re here if you ever need anything.”

The chorus of this is all your fault , you did this , you don’t deserve anyone’s kindness bubbled up with a vengeance.