Chapter 38

Vivian

I sit up and wince, but ignore it, my body on fire with the need to find my husband. My heart thumps with the irrational terror that he"s left me. And then, there are the orgasms. Oh God, I need to see him. I need to feel his arms around me. I miss him so much. My feet don't seem to touch the floor as I race to pick up the shirt he abandoned and shrug into it. I head to the bathroom, take care of my needs, then walk down the stairs.

In the light of day, the place seems bigger, but there's also a warmth to it. The wooden floors, the thick area rugs, the deep sofas, the bookcases, the fireplace, the flowers in a vase on the table in the center of the foyer, which I missed completely yesterday. The flowers are fresh, and there's no dust on any of the furniture. Which means, he has someone who comes in to take care of the house. I walk through the living room and toward the kitchen. The scent of coffee greets me. There's the unmistakable sound of the news being read on the radio, and in front of the range stands Quentin.

He's wearing a pair of grey sweatpants, and his torso is uncovered. Which means, the raven on his back is on full display in the sunlight which pours through the windows of the kitchen. It bathes him in a golden light and turns his shredded physique into that of a pagan king. The kind who'd throw you down and rut into you, fucking you without compunction. The kind who'd protect you and burn the world down for you.

As if he senses my thoughts, he turns and smiles at me over his shoulder. "Good morning," he rumbles.

My pussy quivers. Is there a direct connection from his words to that part of me that makes me feel the need to run over to him and climb his beautiful body like a tree? I lock my fingers together and slide one foot over the other to stop myself from doing that. I settled for, "I missed you."

His eyes flare. He scans my body, clothed in his shirt, and his features soften. "I missed you, too, baby."

The tenderness in his voice lights a fresh trail of heat under my skin. I love his dominance, but I absolutely adore his ability to make me feel so cherished.

A sweep of his gaze down to my feet, and when he meets my gaze again, there's a possessiveness in his, a glint of something feral and dark and wicked, which turns my pussy into a sodden mess. A nervous tension knots my belly. Why do I feel like I'm in the presence of a predator? If I show him the slightest sign of nervousness, I'm sure he'll jump me, and I'm even more sure I'd enjoy that.

I swallow around the dry sensation in my throat and croak, "Did you sleep okay?"

His smile is a flash of white teeth against his tanned skin. "I did. And you?"

Heat flushes my skin. "I did, too, but I wish you were next to me when I woke up."

He scans my face intently, then nods. "Make sure you're next to your wife when she wakes up after a night of fucking. Noted."

"Oh, my God." I blush even more. "You are filthy."

"Only when I'm around you." He looks surprised by his admission. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to wake you up, but I wanted to make you breakfast."

"Breakfast?" My stomach grumbles on cue.

It's his turn to laugh. "I love that you have a healthy appetite, though I have no doubt, the night's activities also contributed to it."

I make a face and mumble, "It's so embarrassing."

"Don't be embarrassed. I love feeding you. Seeing you eat satisfies me in a way I didn't think was possible." He shakes his head, that bemused look back on his face. "Take a seat." He nods toward the island.

I make my way to a stool and slide onto it. He works a complicated espresso machine and brings me a cappuccino, complete with a design in the foam and a dusting of cocoa on top.

When I look at him in surprise, one side of his lips hitches up. "I saw the milk frothing wand at the apartment and since Felix takes his coffee black, I concluded that was your drink of choice."

"Oh." I nod slowly. "It was a gift from Lizzie. She won a competition with her troupe and bought it for me with her prize money. I was so upset with her. I'd rather she spend money on herself, but she wanted me to have something nice, she said, something that wasn't about the essentials of life." I smile in recollection.

"The two of you love each other."

I can"t stop the smile that spreads over my face. "We do. I'm lucky to have her for a sister."

"And she's lucky to have you," he says in a serious voice. "You love her."

I nod. "As you do Felix."

I don't know why that just dawned on me, but something about the wistful expression on his face clued me into it.

His eyebrows knit. "Of course I do. I'm aware I may not be demonstrative about it, but I do."

"You should tell him so."

I wish I could tell you that I've fallen for you, too. I wish I could come out and say I love you. I wish you'd say the same to me, for I've seen how you look at me. I've felt how your body feels against mine. How when you fuck me, you do so with your entire body and soul. I wish... We'd cross this unsaid barrier that's still there between us.

He half smiles. "Noted, wife." He returns to the coffee machine and fills a mug with a stream of brown almost black liquid.

A warmth squeezes my chest. I love, love, love it when he calls me wife. Also, I loved his performance on our wedding night. As if he's read my mind, his forehead furrows. "Why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?"

I pause halfway to bringing my coffee cup to my mouth, then decide to take a sip of my cappuccino before I try to answer that one.

"Not that I'm complaining." He seats himself at the island with me and takes a sip from his own cup.

"Of course not." I snort. "And I didn't tell you because, whoever heard of a woman reaching twenty-three and not having done it yet? I was embarrassed."

"And Felix?" His tone is cautious.

When I look up at him, he holds up a hand. "Not that I want to know about my son's sex habits, but"—he shakes his head—"you must admit, it's strange. The two of you were about to get married, after all."

"It's not like Felix didn't want to, but I didn't feel… ready? And when I said I wanted to wait until our wedding night, he agreed. And I was relieved." I laugh without humor. "That should have warned me that marrying him wasn't the right thing to do. Talk about hindsight." I take another sip of the cappuccino.

When he stays silent, I sneak another peek at his face. "What?"

"You have nothing to regret. You have the rest of your life in front of you. It's best to commit mistakes early, so you learn from them. The trick is simply not to repeat them again." His voice is sober. I spot regret in his eyes.

"Are you thinking about the mistakes you"ve made?"

He shrugs. "I made the best choices I could in the moment with the information I had. It hasn"t always been the right one." He smiles sadly. "Sometimes, I wonder if I'd make the same choices, and I can't say." His expression turns contemplative. "But that's life. I've learned to live with my decisions, and I"m determined to make up for the fall-out from those decisions."

"Hence, your fight with Ryot?"

He winces. "Nothing I say or do will bring his wife back. And that's one occasion in my life I'd probably make the same decision, given the circumstances. All I can do is do the right thing by Ryot when, or if, the opportunity arises. As for Felix?" he sighs. "I regret not being there for him. I screwed up his life by being absent for such long periods on end. I intend to remedy that."

His confessions stir something primal in my core. "It's not easy to admit to one's mistakes. Some say it requires a great deal of bravery."

He shrugs, then smiles sadly. "It's the least I can do, don't you think?"

That melting feeling in my chest intensifies. "This is why I'm attracted to you. It's not that you're older than me and more mature. It's because you have your shit together. You know your mind, and you don't hesitate to speak it, no matter how difficult it might be. Your confidence and your courage of conviction is very attractive."

"Only my confidence?" His eyes gleam.

I roll my eyes. "Is this where I'm supposed to say I also find your dick impressive, and your sexual prowess?"

"I know that already, but it wouldn't hurt to hear it from you." He chuckles.

"Oh, my God, your insufferable ego." I toss my hair away from my face. "The worst thing is, I find that attractive, and I shouldn't."

His smile widens to a shit-eating grin, and I can't stop myself from laughing. "Stop looking so pleased with yourself."

Our gazes hold. The air in the kitchen thickens. Heat crawls up my spine, and I want to lean over and close the distance between us and kiss him again. My cheeks flush, and for some reason, I feel embarrassed. The man has had his dick and his fingers inside me—not to mention, his tongue—and it's this heated look between us that floors me? Get a grip, woman! I clear my throat, then drain my mug. "This cappuccino is very good."

He shakes a finger in my direction. "That's a diversion, but I'll accept it."

"Thanks." I lower my chin so my hair covers my heated cheeks.

"I do have a question for you."

I look at him with curiosity. "Oh?"

"Why did you agree to marry me?"