35. Thirty-Five

That elvish seductress ported us directly into blinding sunlight!

Falling to my knees, I frantically searched for the shadows. Flashing to it, and not a moment too soon, my flesh burned, and my eyes struggled to take in the contrast.

Atreyis cocked an eyebrow at me with one hand on his hip.

As it would turn out, she did not plop me out in the open. The sun poured through the drawn curtains, and I stepped right into it. Embarrassed and not yet returning to my natural state of calm, I dared not speak.

The elf, Brianne, sighed and brushed her long braid over her shoulder as if she exerted herself.

“Explain this to me, Atreyis,” her words were clipped, but her gaze was soft.

Despite my weakness after resolving his healing issue, the man didn’t miss the opportunity to ensure he was dressed to impress. I gawked at his form-fitting pants, tight, long-sleeve navy shirt, and waistcoat. He wore knee-high boots with a half-inch heel. Blowing out his lips, he leaned against the four-post bed that I was crouched by.

“I needed to get to the Under Cloud for him.”

“So it was all a lie? A ruse?” She cupped her hands and tapped her chin with her index fingers.

Offering a lopsided grin, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Basically. I didn’t think you’d do it otherwise.”

“I think I’m going to be ill,” she whispered. “We are in love, Atreyis. You said you wanted to make this right. I still don”t understand.”

Every molecule of my being told me to speak up, to profess my claim on him. Yet I couldn’t. We’d shared quite a bit of each other—me more than him—but there wasn’t an actual title to whatever was happening between us. He and I hadn’t talked about it thoroughly. And part of me wondered if he would reject such an open proclamation of our…

“Sometimes you gotta do shit that you don’t want to,” he ground out. “But you and I are never going to get married. I lied. You can dump us wherever you want now.”

She looked at me, and I dared to rise to my feet. I at least had a little dignity to face the woman standing. “And what about you, Vampyr?”

Atreyis snapped his fingers to draw her attention back to him. “Don’t drag him into this—”

“He is mine,” I interjected, which warranted wide eyes from both of them.

She gaped, and Atreyis froze. His heart was pounding against his ribs, but not a single muscle moved. “He is mortal. How could you possibly—”

Stalking forward while steering clear of the light, I growled, ”He is mine, elf. Now, if you’d be so kind, either open a portal or leave this room.” I didn’t break her stare as I planted my feet beside him.

Lifting her hand, she paused before opening a portal. “You have until nightfall, then I will facilitate your leave.”

It’d been several minutes since Brianne left, and I’d closed those infernal drapes, casting the room into darkness. But Atreyis hadn’t moved and scarcely breathed since my proclamation.

I wished he’d talk, but I didn’t know what to say either. So I sat on the edge of the bed and watched him stare at his feet. His knuckles were white, his cheeks ashen, and his eyelids were pulled back so far it looked painful.

A few more seconds of this, and I was certain to break the silence.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get him out of my head, Vastian.” he finally said.

“Who?” I perked up way too quickly. Recognizing the eagerness in my voice, I cleared my throat and returned to my reclined position.

“Lucios,” he breathed, still keeping his eyes locked on his feet.

“What was he like?”

Atreyis blinked, lifting his chin, and looked at the ceiling. “Beautiful, funny, the best at fucking everything,” he said with a slight chuckle. “He was smart and kind. Strong. So damn strong. He ripped his bedroom door off the hinges all the time.” He smiled.

I couldn’t help but see those same qualities in the man standing before me, but I didn’t say that. “Why did he do that?”

Those wild curls and waves shook over his eyes as he shook his head in a delectable way. “He didn’t know his own strength. Miss Aeltri would always piss and moan about it.”

“That was his mother?” My hands were restless with need. I wanted to go to him, hold him, and help him release whatever darkness latched to this person.

He nodded, walked over to the bed, and sat beside me. “I do like you, Vastian. More than I probably should. But all I’ve wanted for the past fifteen years is to die. To end my miserable existence and tell him,” his voice cracked. “Tell him that I’m sorry.”

The pain in those two words split me in two. Atreyis was harboring a pain kindred to nothing I’d ever seen before. Even my own seemed insignificant. Ever so gently, I took his hand.

“He knows, Atreyis. He knows it every day. Every moment. The fallen never stop looking over us from the After.”

He brought his eyes to mine, his bottom lip tucked between his front teeth. Those deep brows furrowed as a sheen glistened over his gaze. Atreyis was otherworldly—a star in the void. And I wanted nothing more than to show him that he could relish life with me.

“I see that look in your eyes, Vampyr. I’ve seen it before from others, and I can’t be that. There is nothing here.” He patted his chest. “It died when he did, and no matter where I’ve gone, no matter who I’ve been with, I can’t bring it back. I want to, Vastian, Gods, I want to. But…”

“You’re wrong,” I whispered, pulling his hand to my lips. He shuddered under them. Placing his palm back over his chest, I held it there. “If this were gone, you’d have never come for me. You’d never explained yourself. And most of all,” I leaned closer so I was only an inch or so away from his face, “this wouldn’t make your heart race to the point of being lethal.”

Sucking in a shaky breath, he licked his bottom lip. “Then allow me to prove it to you.”

“Do not hold back.”