Chapter 5

What am I going to do about Eli? This was supposed to be a week of endless fucking and somehow I have ended up fervently needing to care for him. I want to hold him in his sleep. I want to fuck the brat out of him. Yesterday, when he'd found that small cove by the rocks and grinned widely in excitement over his shoulder at me, my heart had gone into overdrive.

I called him baby.

I never even called Marcus baby. Marcus hated endearments, found them off-putting at the best of times. I was Colby and he was Marcus. That was the end of that. And I still loved him until his very final breath because at the end of the day, pet names don't mean anything when you're in a committed relationship. But something about calling Eli baby had just felt right. It felt good.

Eli snuffles sleepily against my chest as I run my fingers through his tight curls. The waves break against the shore outside as the sun fights to rise above the horizon. I know Eli will wake soon, no doubt goading me into fucking him, sucking him, or letting him suck me. But I've missed these sorts of moments the past few years. Just holding someone against me as they sleep. Protecting them. Feeling their warmth seep into me.

Last night against the piano was glorious, borderline akin to heaven. Fucking Eli into submission, making him beg, hearing him ask me to give it to him. I helplessly shiver under the weight of Eli just remembering it.

Eli lets out a soft noise as he curls tighter against my side. I lie there as the sun rises and watch him sleep. An hour or so after the sunrise, his dark brown eyes blink open and gaze up at me. His gaze quickly sharpens at the sight of me watching him. He kisses me softly with a sweet smile tilting his plush lips upwards. I run my hand down his spine to cup one ass cheek in my palm as he tucks his head into my neck with a pleased sigh.

"Are you sore?" I ask, getting a mouthful of curls.

Eli stretches against me, seemingly taking stock of his body. "In a good sort of way."

"Would you like to go dancing tonight?"

Eli lifts his head to look down at me, head cocked. "Dancing?"

I brush curls away from his forehead, grinning when he coyly smirks down at me. "There's a gay nightclub a few towns away. I would like to take you dancing if you want."

"I love to dance," Eli admits with a dreamy sigh. "You wanna show your husband off, huh?"

I grab his hair and tug, making him gasp. "Yeah, I do."

"Wanna show them who I belong to?"

"Yeah."

"I'm your husband," Eli says softly, eyes dipping down to my mouth.

"Husband," I quickly confirm, head dizzy from the word. I take his mouth in a deep kiss. Keeping my hand in his hair, I angle his head until I can kiss him just how I want. "You're such a good boy for me," I murmur against his kiss-slack lips.

"Yeah?" Eli asks dreamily.

I swallow against some emotion I'm too scared to name. "Yeah."

I kiss him once more before rolling out of bed.

Eli lazes in bed as I make him breakfast. When I return with a tray full of waffles, turkey bacon, eggs, and only pineapple, the grin on his face threatens to bring me to my knees.

"Waffles?" Eli asks excitedly. He looks down at the tray in awe before blinking those wide Bambi eyes up at me. "You made waffles for me?"

"Yeah, baby."

Eli flushes bright crimson, then quietly digs into the breakfast. We share off the tray and a few times Eli feeds me, and I happily let him. I nibble at his fingers when he slips a corner of a waffle into my mouth, earning me a beautiful laugh. Eli has the best laugh. It's soft, low, and genuine each time, so I know I've really earned it.

"Can I ask you something?" Eli asks once we've eaten our fill.

I skip my fingers up his spine. "Anything."

Eli glances over at me once before looking out the windows at the horizon. "I noticed a tan line on your finger. I encounter a lot of things being an escort, but my least favorite is when I help someone ruin their marriage. Are you married?"

My hand pauses on his back, and my heart pounds painfully in my chest. Eli can't meet my gaze and I hate it. I hate that even for a moment he's thought I'm that type of man. I'm a lot of things, but that isn't one of them.

"I'm not married," I tell him firmly.

Eli glances back at me. "Yeah?"

"I was married, but I'm not anymore."

Eli takes that as a good enough answer and some of the tension disappears from his shoulders. I tenderly rub my hand up and down his back, feeling the knobs of his spine against my palm. His skin is so warm and golden tan compared to my paler skin. He's only got dark sparse hair on his legs, the rest of him is flawless, golden skin. Except for a nasty scar on his right knee.

"How'd you get that scar?" I ask him, rubbing the scar with my thumb.

Eli hums absentmindedly and kisses my shoulder. "I was in a dirt bike accident as a teenager. Needed surgery on my knee."

"Dirt bike?" I ask in shock.

Eli laughs, rolling his eyes. "I know. I had a crush on an older guy and wanted to be cool. I spent the summer learning to ride a dirt bike at the track. I got pretty good until … well, my mother wouldn't let me back on track after that."

"Do you get along well with your mother?"

A happy smile forms across Eli's lips. "She's my best friend. She raised me alone and she's a tough chick. She immigrated from Russia as a young girl. My nana was a wonderful woman too. Her favorite phrase was ‘tough titties.'"

"I love that." I can't hold back from kissing the hinge of his jaw. "Your dad?"

"She met him on vacation in South America. Had a crazy fling. She told him about me a few months later and he then told her he was married. She gave me his last name just to stick it to him. Sometimes I wish she'd given me her last name. Eli Kozlov sounds pretty good, huh?"

He says everything with a laugh, but I hear it in his voice. The wispiness of his tone, the hard cut of his jaw, it's a soft spot for him. His father. I don't push any further, instead I kiss his closed eyes, then finally his slack mouth. I kiss him down into the bed until he's soft and pliant underneath me. Then I give him the slowest, most decadent blowjob I've ever given, and afterwards I hold him just a little longer than necessary.

We amble downto the shore and spend the afternoon relaxing by the waves.

"I'm gonna get into the water," Eli says sometime later.

I follow after him even though he rolls his eyes at me. I don't like letting him get into the water alone. Not for any particular reason. Ever since Eli walked through those front doors, I've been on high alert for him. One look from him sends the protectiveness inside me careening.

He dips under the warm salt water's surface and breaks back through with a grin. Curls a mess and water dripping down his face, he's so beautiful. I duck down just enough for the water to crash over my shoulders, which Eli finds as an invitation to cling to my back. He adheres to me like a sloth, arms around my shoulders, legs around my waist, face tucked into the crook of my neck.

"Tomorrow's the Fourth of July," Eli mumbles against my neck. He licks me once, making me shiver, before gliding his teeth along my shoulder. "Will there be fireworks?"

I reach back to grip his neck tightly. "Definitely. Do you have another thing on your bucket list?"

"Let's play that one by ear and see if you can figure it out."

"Testing me?"

Eli chuckles, sending vibrations through me. "Just a little."

"I've got your number, Elijah Ruiz."

Eli lets go and swims to face me. "Oh yeah?"

"You're a brat and you like when I take what I want."

A shadow crosses the sun, making it easy for me to see the heat radiate from Eli's eyes just from my words. He launches himself at me, all lips, tongue, and teeth, and I hold him up easily. I skim my hands down his body to cup his ass until he gets the clue and jumps up to wrap his legs around me.

He pulls away panting. "Jesus."

"What was that for?"

"I don't know if this husband shit is working better for you or more for me," Eli admits, butting his forehead against mine.

I can smell the sweetness of him. He smells like the ocean, like something wild and free that I wish so badly to hold on to even after these next few days are over. This is dangerous, but I'm too caught up in him to stop it. Maybe it doesn't have to end. Maybe at the end we can ride into the sunset. Danger! My brain screams at me as I carry Eli back on shore. He's not light, but he's not big either, just the perfect size for me to easily handle.

I lay him down on the large beach towel, hovering over him on my forearms.

"Husband," I whisper to him. A small whimper escapes him.

"Stop," Eli says from between his teeth.

"Why?"

He blinks his hazy brown eyes up at me. "You're going to destroy me."

"That's a bad thing?"

Eli nods quickly, then tugs me down to kiss me. His kiss is different than usual, tender, but deeper in a searching sort of way. We kiss on the blanket until the salt water dries on our skin. Until our lips burn from our feverish kisses. Until finally, I pull away from him, and tug him into the house to shower the ocean off of us. I promised to take him dancing and I'm going to do just that.

Once it's dark outside, I dress in tight jeans and a button-down with my sleeves rolled up. Eli strolls out of the bathroom in skintight black jeans, ripped artfully on his thighs, and a sheer light pink T-shirt. He grins at me as he folds to the floor to pull on a pair of Converse.

"Do I look good?" Eli asks coyly, blinking up at me with feigned innocence.

"Come here." I wiggle my fingers between my spread knees.

Eli doesn't even get up. He crawls towards me, puts his hands on my knees, and blinks up at me with that same doe-eyed expression I'm coming to realize means he's up to no good. I take his curls in a tight grip and yank, forcing his gaze to dip and stay on me.

"Don't look at another man tonight."

"Just you," Eli confirms, unblinking.

"You'll only touch me."

"Only you."

I take his mouth in a bruising kiss, leaving him panting, hard, and wanting for more. I help him up, steadying him on his feet when he sways a little.

"Good?" I ask him, teasing.

"You're going to leave me like this?" Eli asks, frowning, staring forlornly down at his hard cock encased in his tight jeans.

"It'll be worth it tonight."

"It better be," Eli mumbles sourly.

I slap him once on the ass with a smirk, earning me an annoyed look back. Eli heads towards the Jeep, but I stop him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"We're not taking the Jeep tonight."

He looks around in confusion for a moment until I pull the cover off the 1967 Ford Mustang. Eli gasps in shock as he looks at the car. Gently, he runs the tip of a finger across the hood.

"What the fuck, Colby?"

"Like it?"

Eli laughs softly. "It's fucking gorgeous. She's yours?"

"Yeah, I restored her with my grandfather as a teen. She's my inheritance."

"Fucking gorgeous," Eli mumbles under his breath. "I get to ride in her?"

"Yeah, baby." I open the passenger door and help Eli in. The awe across his face was worth holding this surprise in. The air is humid when we pull onto the highway, but riding with the windows down is worth it to have the air whipping through Eli's curls. The smile on his face is priceless too. I can't help but reach over to tangle our fingers together.

Eli aims one of those lopsided, blissful smiles at me as we make the drive inland, and my heart is a goner. Four days with him and already I know he's something goddamn special. I want to keep him. How in the world do I even try to lay claim to a wild and beautiful thing like Elijah Ruiz?

The club is dark and full already when we arrive. I usher Eli to the bar with a firm hand on the small of his back. Once we reach the bar, I flag the bartender down, and nod for Eli to order whatever he wants. He orders a shot of top-shelf vodka and I hold my fingers up so that the bartender brings us two.

Eli surveys the crowd while leaning his weight against me. I keep my hand on the small of his back, letting my fingers dip into his waistband just a little. We take the shots at the same time, then Eli kisses me while wearing a blinding grin so that I can taste the liquor on his tongue.

"You gonna dance with me?" Eli asks next to my ear.

The weight of him against me is going to make me do indecent things in public. But I wanted this and I wanted to show him he's mine, even if only for this week. Bodies sway against us in the crowd, but all I can see is Eli. He twists to the beat, curls all over the place, all I can do is try to keep up.

Other people, even couples, stare at Eli. I understand because I can't stop staring either. He's the most beautiful thing on the dance floor. There's an inherent freedom that radiates outward from Eli that others just can't help but notice. That I can't help but notice. I'm mesmerized by him.

He sweeps me up with him so that I spend hours dancing with him. At a certain point some other guy tries to dance against Eli's back, but he pulls away when I aim a lethal look his way. Eli notices my look with a laugh, cups my jaw, and kisses me so filthily that I'm afraid we'll catch a charge. I tug him against me so tightly that I think maybe he'll become a part of me.

His laugh echoes against my mouth before he bites my bottom lip. "I don't want them!" Eli shouts against my ear. "I only want you. My husband."

All the blood in my body threatens to boil. I tangle my hands in his hair and kiss him with everything I have. I dip him on the dance floor, feasting on his mouth, trying to consume every inch of him. He finally pulls away from me, eyes glazed over from the kiss.

"Take me home," Eli says so softly that I almost miss it.

But I don't. I hear him.

I tug Eli out of the bar, ushering him towards the parked car with my arm around his shoulders. He's quiet on the ride home, looking out the window as we ride up the coastal highway. The cloudless sky blinks stars above us and the sound of the waves curls around us.

I lead him inside, a hand on his back, then give him a gentle shove towards the stairs.

"Here's the plan," I say slowly without breaking his gaze, "I want you to go upstairs and get yourself ready. I will give you exactly fifteen minutes to get outside and then I'm going to chase you. I will fuck you where I find you."

Eli doesn't move, he just stares at me from the edge of the stairs. I turn my wrist, look down at my watch, and tap it in clear expectation. That sends Eli scrambling up the stairs. I go to the kitchen, heart pounding in my chest.

I haven't done this sort of thing in years, not since before Marcus. He was never into primal play, he was just barely into my dominant streak at all. Most of the time we made love which fit us just fine. I guess I didn't realize how much I missed this side of myself until Eli unleashed it. I hadn't even intended to be this way with him. Something about him, sweet Eli, just brings it out of me.

After drinking an ice-cold glass of water, I take off my shirt and shoes so that I'm left in only my jeans. The rushing sound of water running upstairs alerts me to the fact that Eli is still getting ready for me. My watch says it's only been a few minutes, so I go over to the piano. I take a calming breath as I sit down.

I let my fingers dance along the keys, playing a song that I don't know the words to at all. The sound of the back door opening and closing is the only sign I need that Eli left the house. Time slows as I look down at my watch, the two final minutes crawling by. Pushing away from the piano, the bench screeches on the wooden floor underneath me. I open the back door to step outside. It's the same cloudless night that it was a few moments ago but the air is full of crackling tension now.

I walk with a purpose to the shore, following the fresh footprints that Eli's feet pressed into the ground as he ran from me. But in a weird way, it feels like he's running towards me. The empty beach stretches in front of me both ways. My heart pounds when I don't see him in either direction. But a noise from the dune to the right has my head jerking in that direction.

"Shit," Eli mumbles, facing me in the dark.

His chest heaves. His fingers nervously clench and unclench at his sides. Even with only the moon to light him up, he's the epitome of perfection. We stare at each other for a moment before Eli takes off at a breakneck run towards the water.

I chase after him, feet pounding the wet sand. Either Eli is tired or he's slow on purpose, but I catch up to him quickly, and topple us to the ground in a heap. Eli lands on the compacted, wet sand with a loud huff. Grabbing his wrists with one of my hands, I hold him still as I unbutton my jeans.

"Please," Eli begs around a moan.

I slip a condom on before roughly slapping my dick against his ass. "You want this?"

"Colby …"

I roughly smack his ass. "Say it."

"I thought you were going to take what you want," Eli bites out from between his teeth.

I push into his tight heat, pushing down on the small of his back so he's forced to take me deeper. God, he's so fucking tight. Waves crash against the shore, mixing with the sounds of Eli's ragged breaths hitting the sand. I watch hungrily as he presses his cheek against the ground, eyes closed, lips parted. Moans of ecstasy slip from his mouth with each of my slow glides in and out of his tight, velvet heat. I thought I'd fuck him hard when I found him but that's not what I want anymore. Not what I need.

I let go of his wrists and roughly tug him up by his shoulders. Sitting on my haunches, I pull him back on my lap so that he's full of me. He lets out a little surprised gasp and presses his hand to his belly.

"I feel you here," Eli mumbles, sounding drugged and out of it. Just from my cock inside of him. "You're so deep that I'm going to choke on you."

I bite off a cry against the ocean water–damp skin of his back. Using my hands on his hips, I force him into a slow grind on top of me, until he's begging me to let him come. God, he feels so fucking good. Made for me almost.

"Please, Colby. Husband. Let me come. I'll do anything." Eli cries out when I take his cock in my hand and give a rough tug. He turns his face towards mine, mouthing at my jaw. "Make me yours. I wish you could come inside me, own me. Nobody else has ever done that. Just you. You can make me yours."

His cries absolutely destroy me. I come inside him with a stifled shout. Eli tosses his head back against my shoulder with his own cry as he comes all over my hand. I hold him in a vise grip, cock twitching inside of him until he slowly relaxes back against me.

"Wish you could stay inside me," Eli says as he glides his fingers over my forearm.

I bite at the damp skin of his neck, softening the bites with openmouthed kisses, then nose at the sweaty hairs. Gently, I pull out of him, hearing him hiss like he did the night before.

"Am I hurting you when we fuck?" I ask, concerned.

Eli tips forward on his hands, tossing an annoyed look at me over his shoulder. "No."

"You'd tell me." It's a demand, not a question.

He shakes his curls so that his face is half hidden from my gaze. "I'd tell you."

His words don't ring true to me though. Would he tell me? I can't be so sure.

I watch as he stands naked under the night sky, a gorgeous figure against the horizon. He lifts his head up to look at the stars, some unknowable emotion spreading across his perfect face. I raise my hand up to touch him, but he backs away out of my reach. Something about that hurts. I feel the loss of him even though he's still standing right there.

"I'll see you in bed," Eli says softly, averting his gaze from mine. "Give me some time to shower?"

I nod in the dark like an idiot. I won't push him, not on this. He quietly disappears back up the shore towards the house, leaving only his footprints behind. I sit there for a long time wondering how I fucked up. What did I do? My chest feels tight, everything heavy, my body weighted down. Breaths are oddly hard to come by as worry eats at me.

The lights in the bathroom come on in the house, until Eli's shadow appears in the bathroom. I watch with bated breath, as he stands stock-still, unmoving for a long time. Finally, once my lungs work again, his shadow moves as if still in tune with me despite the distance between us.

Never before have I felt such a need to shelter someone inside myself. Keep them safe from harm. Safeguard them from pain or anguish. How am I ever going to let him go?

My heart isn't going to cooperate by the end of this mimicry of a marriage. And I'm not really sure I want it to cooperate. Not anymore.