Chapter - Twelve

It had become a reoccurring theme for me to wake in a bed that wasn't my own with no recollection as to how I'd made it there. I stirred awake, scrunching my eyes closed when light blinded me. I could feel the softness of a fur blanket covering me from the chest down. I peeled back my eyelids to reveal that I lay on blush-pink bedsheets and was wearing my silk nightgown from home. My hair tumbled over my shoulders as I sat up, still squinting at the bright sunlight streaming through the window. It looked like it was early morning, the night nearly gone from the horizon.

I needed water. Finding a glass sitting on the bedside table, I gulped down the contents, swallowing every last mouthful of water. Then I glanced around the foreign room, wondering where I was. I noticed a mirrorless vanity and a stool pressed against the wall opposite me. I pushed the bedclothes off and swung my legs down to the floor so I could begin to explore.

I glanced out the window to see a manicured lawn with sprawling flower beds and trees carved into animal figures. Beyond that was a high marble fence and then forest. I heard the lapping of water and figured the treetops covered the view of a body of water.

My memories were hazy, but I remembered Volker as he had de-glamoured me and how I'd felt like I was going to die. And then Felix had been there, his face gripped with terror. I remembered how he'd tried to soothe me, stroking my hair and saying my name but then I'd surrendered to the pain and after that, everything was a blank.

Am I dead? My throat swelled at the thought and I wrapped a hand around my neck as I gasped, trying to find air. You're not dead. Just calm down.

Moving towards the door, I twisted the doorknob but was met with the sound of a lock rattling. I ran my hands down my silk nightgown, feeling the material catch on my sweaty palms. Looking around the room, I spied a small room nestled in the corner. Inside were a toilet, shower and bath. The vanity in here was also missing its mirror, leaving an empty space above the sink.

Why are all the mirrors missing? Has the glamour been removed? Am I a full youngblood?

My mouth dried up. With shaking hands I felt the top of my head and around my lower back, feeling for horns or a tail. When I found neither, I exhaled deeply.

But my mouth felt weird – as though I had too many teeth. I put my hand to my mouth to explore what was causing this sensation and yelped in pain when a brand new pair of canines pierced the skin of my fingers. I groaned and cursed out loud. When I removed my fingers, I saw gold staining the edges of the wound.

I have gold blood and canines. Holy crap.

It appeared I was truly part child of death. I worked out that I could retract my new canines just by thinking of doing so and my terror subsided a little.

Apart from a couple of extra teeth, I couldn't feel anything different about my body; couldn't see any different parts on my skin. The only difference was the warlock mark on my leg, which I recognised because of its antler shape. It was a shiny silver colour, like a scar, sitting in the pocket of my knee. The rest of me seemed normal.

All I hoped was that somebody would come soon to tell me where I was.

???

For three days, I was alone. I was left in the room feeling like a rotting body. Food appeared through a small metal flap at the bottom of the door but nobody ever spoke to me. Without any mirrors to see what I looked like, my youngblood appearance was a mystery, other than my teeth. I'd tried to see myself in the window reflection, but even it wavered and trembled like it had been spelled to repel an image.

On the first day, I'd waited and hoped somebody would come in and explain what was happening to me. I'd knocked on the doors, softly asking to be let out, getting a little louder when no response came. After a hot shower and getting changed into the only clothes I could find in a drawer of the vanity, I'd returned to the door, hoping it would swing open and someone would tell me what was going on. But when the sun had set and night swept over the room, casting shadows of the moon on the floorboards, I'd felt my heart sink. As I crept into bed, one eye still on the locked door, I waited for the doorknob to turn.

But nobody came.

The terror had seized me on the second day and I'd screamed down the walls, begging for anyone to tell me why I was a prisoner. It felt worse than when Felix had kidnapped me. This was radio silence. Even the window was locked and I felt like I was choking on the air in the room. No one answered my cries; just three meals a day like clockwork were pushed through the flap in the door. Of course I tried to snatch at the metal, but it shut too fast and I sliced my fingers trying to pry it open, gold blood dripping from my wounds. I'd screamed that they couldn't keep me in this room forever. And yet still, nobody came for me.

On the third day, I stayed in bed, unable to even eat the food sitting at the door. It was then, I really thought I was dead. Or at least somewhere in the afterlife being held hostage. Perhaps this is limbo, the space between life and death everyone's always going on about. Maybe my soul is trapped here until I can sort out my old life and move on. The thoughts were making me want to rip my eyelashes out.

In a world I was still adjusting to, it seemed plausible that I could have died from Volker removing the glamour. How was I supposed to know if he had even been successful? Maybe now I was a youngblood in limbo, my soul too wounded to escape to wherever souls went after death.

It was late on the afternoon of the third day, when the sun was setting below the treetops and showing me a pretty sunset of reds and purples and pinks that I heard a noise at the door. I lay still in my bed where I'd been most of the day, wrapped in blankets and feeling sorry for myself.

For a second, I thought I'd imagined it. But my hearing was incredibly sensitive now, and I heard the distinct sound of the snapping of a lock, then the twisting of a knob. Jolting upright, I saw a strong arm appear in the crack of the doorway. The scent drifting from the body it was attached to smelled clean and lemony. A man I did not recognise entered, his eyes fixated on me. An anxious furrow lined his forehead and I could smell sweat seeping from his hands.

‘Tabitha,' he said, his deep voice breaking the silence.

I nodded.

‘How are you feeling?'

My chapped lips cracked as I spat, ‘What a stupid question to ask.'

He looked at the untouched plate of food near his feet. ‘Do you need some food?'

‘No,' I snapped at him, feeling rage roll through me. The man remained calm as I untangled myself from the blankets and leapt to the floor in front of him. I felt raggedy and unkempt, having not showered this morning. He didn't seem bothered by my state and continued to stare at me with his curious green eyes. ‘Where the hell am I?' I said.

‘I can't tell you that,' he replied. ‘But I can get you some normal clothes.'

‘Tell me where I am,' I said again, gritting my teeth.

He shook his head, never taking his eyes off me. ‘It's not my place to say. Would you like anything? Food? Water?'

‘I want a goddamn dress, now that you mention it.' I wanted to swear at him but refrained. Swearing would probably not illicit any helpful responses. ‘And shoes.'

He nodded, stuck his head out the door and spoke to someone. ‘Pass me the bag.'

He returned and offered me a bag of sweet-smelling clothing. I stalked towards him and snatched it from him, then I rushed into the bathroom to change. Once I was dressed, I found the man still standing in the same position. He tilted his head towards the door and opened it wide. ‘Come.'

I was curious but still terrified. ‘Tell me where I am first.'

A glimmer of a smile crossed his mouth. ‘Still can't do that. Come.'

With a final glance at my prison, I followed him out, hoping that outside the room was better than inside. The doorway opened to a hallway of cream walls and hardwood floors stained the colour of honey. We appeared to be on an upper level in the building; a staircase was situated to the right of my room. To my left was a secluded hallway, its walls adorned with portraits and a statue sitting at the end where the hallway divided into two. The man was waiting for me, so I followed him down the internal hallway. Please don't let him be leading me to my death.

I studied the portraits as we passed and tried to figure out who the subject was, but each painting was different. Some of the folk in the pictures were dark skinned, others very pale, and some not really people at all. They all looked very regal however and were dressed in old-fashioned clothing.

My guide stopped and opened a door on his right, beckoning me through. I followed him into a large room with a piano sitting in the left-hand corner. Huge floor-to-ceiling windows allowed a perfect view into the gardens. And inside the room, Calum sat on a coffee-coloured couch, flicking through channels on a TV suspended on the wall. A frown creased his forehead into a hard line but when he turned to me, his face lit up. I probably looked like a startled rat as I stared back.

‘Tabs!' he cried, flinging himself off the couch and gathering me in a bone-crushing hug.

I was so surprised I couldn't hug him back for a few seconds. He held me for a bit, happily sighing into the crook of my neck, before slowly letting go. My hands tightened on his dress shirt. When he drew back, he gave me a sympathetic smile.

‘Calum?' I croaked, unable to believe he was there.

‘As always.' He glanced over my head. ‘Can you give us a moment?'

The man left the room and Calum guided me over to the couch. Tears streamed from my eyes and his glee faltered, worry now etched over his face. He pulled me to his chest and I sank into him as my body quivered from the violence of my sobs.

We stayed there for a long time, wrapped in each other. My shaking hands grabbed onto whatever part of Calum I could reach – shirt, shoulders, chest. And when I could finally breathe, he pressed tissues to my running nose and cleaned up my face.

‘You alright there?' he asked.

‘Kind of,' I mumbled, blowing my nose right after. ‘How long have you been here?'

He rested an arm on the back of the couch. ‘We arrived a little while ago. I didn't know where you were until yesterday. And I was quite mad about it, mind you.' His answer was vague. I tried to search for answers in his face but couldn't latch on to anything long enough. ‘I can't say any more than that. They'll explain everything shortly.'

I shook my head. ‘I don't know what's going on right now. Three days ago I woke up in a room alone. Where are we?' I whispered quickly before the man returned.

‘He told you nothing, I assume.'

‘Not a thing. Just gave me some clothes and brought me here.'

‘He's just doing his job. They're funny folk, these faerie servants.'

‘So he's a servant?' I grabbed onto that slice of information like a lifeline.

‘Yeah,' Calum said, nodding. ‘Works for the Lotus Siblings here.'

‘Where's here, Calum? Why won't anyone tell me anything?' I asked, verging on begging.

‘Well, it's not really supposed to be discussed. Technically, we shouldn't know where we are … because it doesn't exist.'

I frowned a little. ‘What do you mean? Who's we?'

‘You, me, Felix, the Lotus Siblings, Crimson Siblings and Volker. Of course, the siblings knew where you were because they brought you here before bringing us, that is, everyone who was in the room when you, uh, fainted.' He cut himself off, looking frazzled.

I felt my throat clench. ‘Am I a full youngblood?'

‘Yep, still you in all meanings of the word. Just … different you.'

‘What's different me mean?'

Calum rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Not really my place to tell you, Tabs. It's kind of hard to explain anyway.'

‘Calum. Am I okay?'

‘Of course,' he said, but his words came out weird.

‘Then give me a mirror,' I snapped. ‘I want to see myself.'

‘Not yet.' He tried to soothe me but I was beyond that.

I glowered at him. ‘Why can't I see myself?'

The door opened again and to my disbelief, Volker stepped through it. He pulled up short when he saw me standing over Calum, my hands on my hips. His eyes widened slightly and he cleared his throat, motioning for the man who'd brought me here to follow him. He took a seat on the couch across from Calum and me. I waited, watching him pour tea from a china kettle, the only sound, his spoon clinking as he stirred. When he'd taken a sip, he motioned for me to sit. When I crossed my arms and refused to comply, he rolled his eyes.

‘The siblings will be here soon,' he said. ‘They'll explain it all.' His eyes slid to Calum. ‘Good to see you again.'

I watched Calum smile at the warlock. What is going on?

‘How are you out of the pentagram?' I asked Volker.

He chuckled. ‘I keep you safe. Therefore, I am a guest here.'

‘Where is here, exactly?'

‘I can't say. You'll have to find some patience.'

‘I have none. After being kept locked up in a room for three days on my own, I've earned the right to be demanding.' My canines jutted from my gums. ‘Tell me what is going on, warlock.'

He smirked. ‘Now you speak like a true youngblood. Can't you feel it? Singing in your veins, the heavenly fire of a Fae's wrath? We warlocks may be part demons but the Fae are known for their tempers.'

‘So I'm part child of death and faerie, just like the siblings suspected?' I asked. Volker clammed up. ‘What are my features then?'

Volker avoided my gaze, putting some sugar in his cup. He seemed tired and he looked older than when I'd seen him last. But he was also a bit nicer this time round and I assumed that was because of his lack of being confined to a pentagram.

‘Your features,' he finally answered, ‘are your own.'

‘Meaning?'

‘They are your features.'

‘I'm not following.'

‘You have your youngblood features,' he replied, still looking down at his tea like it was relaying an important message. ‘And they are your own features. You must not hurry such a delicate process. Get used to your body first. See what it can do for you. Then, when you are familiar with it, you may see yourself.'

I felt like I was speaking to a madman. Volker spoke without emotion. I had no reply and left him to sip his tea. I stalked the room, trying to find anything that I could look at my face in. I poked at the glass in the windows, willing it to show me my reflection.

The sun had set by the time the Lotus and Crimson Siblings shuffled into the room. If they were surprised to see me, none of them showed it.

‘Tabitha,' Nerida greeted me, her voice tender. ‘How are you?'

‘A little peeved, if I'm honest,' I shot back. ‘Nobody will tell me anything and these two haven't told me anything useful.'

‘We're trying to protect you,' Calum said and sighed.

I glared at him. ‘Since when do you even know Volker? You weren't in the room. We left you behind. Felix was there.' I stopped short, my voice breaking on his name. ‘Where is he?'

‘Felix is helping us with some studies,' Thom said. ‘He'll be here shortly.'

‘Tabitha,' Nerida said. ‘Please, tell us how you feel.'

‘How I feel?' I cried out, my eyes blazing. ‘I feel like I've been trapped in a room by myself for three days with nobody telling me what the hell is going on. All I got was food three times a day like a dog being fed scraps! Why was I hidden? What is there to hide? Nobody will even let me see my own face!'

Nobody was surprised by my screeching and I was not even embarrassed by it. The hurt and humiliation I felt from being locked away was nothing compared to my anger over the situation. It felt like I was still being lied to. I would have to pry the truth from them. Even if none of them wanted to tell me, I'd make them.

‘It's hard to explain and we're very worried about you,' Clementine sighed, gliding over the floor to move closer to me. ‘Your youngblood features are quite unique. They could startle you. So we thought it best to remove the mirrors and allow you to adjust to your body before you see it in its full glory.'

‘It is fully removed, the glamour?'

‘Yes.'

I hesitated. ‘But I'm me still?'

‘In some sense of the word, you are you. But you are also not you in other senses.'

I turned to Volker. ‘What did you glamour?'

‘Better to ask what I didn't,' he muttered with distaste.

‘What's going on?' I cried out. Nothing was making any sense. ‘Am I me or am I not me?'

‘You're not you,' Volker put simply. ‘But you are you. The glamour made you someone else, remember. It made you appear mortal to all eyes, regardless of whether they were our kind or human.' He spoke slowly and cautiously. ‘So when I removed the glamour, I removed all the mortal looking parts to you. Now, you are a youngblood. And you are not you.'

‘You're speaking in riddles,' I snapped. Everyone turned their heads away from me. ‘What does that mean, I'm not me?'

He grit his teeth. ‘We just don't want to upset you.'

‘Any further,' Lawrence added, his eyes tracing my exposed throat. Not with hunger but with curiosity, following the curve like it was a map. ‘None of us are trying to make this difficult for you, Tabitha. Our concerns are not misplaced. But we must ease you into this gently.'

‘I'd rather be thrown in the deep end like normal,' I muttered, making him smile.

‘I'm sure, but for everyone's peace of mind, we'll start slow.'

‘She is different to how I pictured her,' Sebastian said, adjusting his collar. ‘I imagined a bit less hostility.'

Alice, beside him, scoffed. ‘Would you be pleasant company after being locked away on your own for three days?' She looked at me and shook her head. ‘I was against the idea to hide you from yourself and others. It was ridiculous. Leaving you in there was an unorthodox measure which didn't need to be taken. You are fully capable of keeping control.'

The smack of a door closing resonated through the room and everyone fell quiet. A familiar voice said, ‘Is she here?'

I turned abruptly on my heel, finding Felix scanning the room. He caught my movement and looked to me, but his eyes did not change from their cold, blank stare.

‘Felix,' I said, finally relaxing and taking a step towards him.

His brows furrowed. ‘I'm sorry, who are you?'

And I swore my heart stopped.