5. Brody

5

brODY

A n uncomfortable tingle burns down my spine, reminding me of the shit that just went down and the mess that is yet to come. I pace back and forth, wearing down the grass beneath my boots as my knuckles turn white, anticipation clinging to me.

Kryll only let me bring him so far, and he's been gone for what feels like an eternity while I'm left here to simmer in my thoughts, in my mistakes, in my betrayals.

I feel like I'm in a waiting room, nervously listening for my name to be called. I don't know when it will be, and deep down, a part of me would like to be left suspended in this moment, the inevitable never arriving, but I won't be so lucky. I don't deserve to be.

I fucked up, and my father dropped me in it.

The truth should have come from my lips. That's what makes this worse. That's what burns through my body more. The knowledge that I should have shared, but didn't.

Tilting my head back, I allow the heat of the sun to wash over me in an attempt to let it erase my sorrows, but there's no cure for the shit I'm feeling. By the time the guys are done with me, there will be no cure for what they put me through either.

Wings flap, once, twice, and it's the only warning I get as I turn to my right, watching Kryll shift as he lands beside me. He shakes off his cloak before ruffling his auburn hair. There's a lilt to the corner of his mouth, but it doesn't meet his eyes.

"All good?"

"It's perfect," he murmurs, rubbing at the back of his neck as he sighs.

"Where did you take them?" He finally looks my way, cocking a brow. "Fair enough," I grumble, taking the hint. "Are you ready to head back?"

"Are you ready to face everyone's wrath?"

I gulp, my spine stiffening as I meet the disappointment shining in his gaze. "No, but I don't have a choice."

He nods, silently agreeing with the downfall I know is coming.

Muttering the transportation enchantment under my breath, Kryll plants his hand firmly on my shoulder before the ground shifts beneath our feet. All too quickly, the fountain on campus comes into view, and the familiar surroundings take over.

My gaze flickers to the pathway that leads to the fae building before considering my usual path toward my room, but instead of going in either direction, I follow Kryll's heavy footsteps toward the vampire building.

The walk is quiet. Too quiet. There's only one way to get past this and it's to face it head on, and that starts with explaining myself. Well, attempting to explain myself, at least.

Stepping inside the vampire building, I take the stairs two at a time, cursing my father with every step. I want to blame it all on him, but my silence hasn't aided my innocence in all of this.

Is that a trait I get from him? Is that a part of him that runs through my veins? Am I just as foolish and tainted as him?

I fucking hope not.

All too quickly, Kryll raps his fist on Raiden's door, and it swings open a moment later.

"Oh, good, the liar is here," Raiden grunts, taking a step back to let us in.

"He is." Acknowledging myself as a liar is the first step to recovery, right?

"At least you're owning it, not even claiming some bullshit about omitting," Cassian adds, glaring at me as I step into Raiden's ridiculously large room.

I sink into the sofa closest to the door, bracing my elbows on my knees as I hide my face behind my hands. I need a minute. One whole second to gather my shit together before I force myself to sit back and meet their expectant stares.

"I don't think that would do me any good," I admit, making Raiden scoff as he collapses onto the sofa across from me.

"You'd be right." The bite to his tone and the sharpness of his jaw confirms he's beyond pissed, but it's no surprise.

"Are you actually this mad at him, or are you frustrated that Addi is mad at you, and you're redirecting all of that?" Cassian muses, perching himself on the arm of the sofa to my right, earning himself one of Raiden's signature death stares.

"You can shut the fuck up."

Touchy subject. Noted. Something clearly went down after we left, but I'm guessing now isn't the time for me to find out the details.

"How about we address one situation at a time?" Kryll asks, standing with his arms folded over his chest between the two sofas.

It's weird. I'm usually the one in his position, trying to calmly placate everyone, but not today, it seems. Today I'm the one in the hot seat.

"We can start with Brody," Raiden decides, completely shifting away from whatever drama he has with Addi right now.

All eyes turn to me, a heavy weight settling over the room before nestling itself deep into my gut. There's no point wasting more time with the thoughts that have been taking up far too much space at the back of my mind.

Taking a deep breath, I let the words slip from my lips. "I knew what they were planning with Vallie."

A weight shifts from my shoulders, but it doesn't leave entirely, confirming that expressing the truth now doesn't alleviate the mess I've created or my guilt.

"Why didn't you share that sooner?" Cassian asks, foot up on the sofa as he stares at me intently.

I rub my lips together, hating the fact that we're going to get deep on this, but there's no avoiding it. "Because I thought if I could just get my father to listen, he would realize how dumb it was."

Once upon a time, I told him everything. Once upon a time, he was an amazing father. Once upon a time feels like a distant dream, so far away that I question its authenticity now.

"But he wasn't listening," Kryll murmurs, and I hum.

"No."

"So, why didn't you say something?" Raiden pushes, and I exhale, my breath deflating me as I avoid their gazes.

"Because I felt helpless."

The true weight of what I'd revealed shifts inside of me, the admission of a weakness lightening the world sitting on my shoulders. But what causes even more of a stir inside me is the calming silence that swirls around us.

I expect a jibe from Raiden or a grunt from Cassian. Shit, even a mutter from Kryll, but instead…there's none of that.

When I finally manage to lift my head, I find them all frowning, but there's no overwhelming outbursts of anger. Yet.

"You know this is all bullshit, right?" Kryll states, wiping a hand down his face. "Forcing fated mates is wrong," he adds for clarity, and I nod in agreement.

"Being mated to Vallie in any way at all is wrong," Raiden grunts, his jaw ticking even tighter.

"But to Addi?" Cassian asks, his words lingering in the air as a deeper silence descends over the room.

I can't deny the sense of hope that takes root in my chest. The idea of being connected to her in any way at all is consuming, but on that level? Fuck, that's something else entirely.

No one disagrees with his question. No one makes it sound absurd. Not even Kryll, the solitary shifter who refuses to admit anything when it comes to her.

But as much as the idea of connecting with Addi like that offers me a blossom of hope, I know full well it's not an option. Especially not in the way they were attempting to make it happen. Forcing that on someone like Addi would only push her further away, which is the complete opposite of what I want with her.

It bundles my stomach in knots, but I express that fact to the guys. "Addi would never have responded well to that, especially under forced pretenses."

"Agreed," Cassian admits with a disgruntled sigh. "But she's hot when she's angry," he adds, making me snicker.

Raiden practically snorts. "She's hot when she's taking down the fucking council, not so hot when she's taking it out on me."

I jump at the opportunity to shift the topic of conversation, especially since they're not intent on burying me in my mistakes. Leaning forward again, I rub a hand through my hair. "I'm guessing she's pissed because you were followed while following her?" I ask, and his eyes widen.

"How did you figure that out?"

"How did you not?" I retort, brows pinching.

"It's beside the point," he grumbles, waving me off.

"It happened, and there's nothing we can do about it, but that doesn't change the fact that she's pissed at you," Kryll states, and Cassian nods in agreement.

"Facts."

Raiden glares at the wolf. "If we're airing all our secrets, it's probably Cassian's turn."

I turn to look at Cassian, noting the confusion on his face as he points at himself with a slack jaw.

"Me?"

"What were you doing on the Kenner compound with her last night?" Raiden asks, pushing to his feet. His shoulders roll back, his ego inflated by the height difference between him and Cassian since the latter is sitting.

Sometimes I can forgive Raiden for being a vampire. It wasn't his choice to be what he is, but in moments like this, when he uses classic vampire moves to flex his perceived superiority around him, it pisses me off.

"That's none of your business," Cassian bites, hands balling into fists on his lap. When no one turns away, he sighs. "She wanted to see her mother."

"She spoke with her?" I blurt in surprise, and he shakes his head.

"No."

"So what then?" Raiden pushes, and to my surprise, Cassian gives in.

"She just wanted to see her."

"She wanted to see her mother, who is apparently a wolf?" Kryll clarifies, and my gut twists, but before I can sink in my worry for Addi, I'm fixated on the way Cassian's shoulders sag and he dips his head.

"I noticed the lack of ears last night, but we hadn't put two and two together yet," he admits, making my chest clench.

"She's a half-breed," I murmur, and Cassian's gaze whips to me.

"Don't call her that." His jaw is clenched, anger vibrating in his eyes.

"I didn't."

"Just. Don't."

"She's a fae wolf. There's nothing wrong with that," I reiterate, and he rises to his feet.

"I didn't say there was."

I lift my hands in surrender, but it does nothing to calm him.

"I'm sorry." My words aren't much more than a whisper, but he must sense the truth in them because he, thankfully, takes a backward step.

Kryll clears his throat, taking a step toward the irritated wolf as I run my hands over my knees. "Did she say how she was feeling?" he asks, and Cassian shakes his head.

"All she said was how mad she was at Fangs over here."

"Will you stop calling me that?" Raiden grumbles, tugging at his hair. His distress is clear. Who would have thought it was because Addi was mad at him? It's half amusing, half concerning. Because I lied about something, and I get the feeling that doesn't put me in her good graces either.

"What do we do now?" I ask, wetting my dry lips as Kryll sighs.

"We give her space. Only a little, but we need to figure out how we push back on this. We all know that's not going to be the end of the trouble. But before all of that, we need it to be clear that we don't keep fucking secrets like this again," he states, eyes swirling, and I nod.

"How much space?" Raiden asks, eyebrows bunched in a mixture of dismay and anger.

"That's what you're focused on?"

He shrugs like there's nothing else to be concerned about, and it takes more than I care to admit to keep my snicker at bay.

"She gets until morning," Cassian decides, and no one disagrees.

"I can work with that," Raiden relents, making me scoff, despite my best efforts.

"Let's hope she can."