CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

"Huh, that's strange," Matty said as a notification popped up on his phone following his post-practice lunch the following day.

"What's that?" Dustin asked, glancing up from his plate.

"Oh, I got an alert from the bank. I have it set up to let me know about any large amounts of money coming in or out. And this is a decent-sized chunk of money. There was another one a few weeks ago," he said with a frown. "I forgot to check the details on it because life got kinda crazy. Guess I should now, huh?"

"Uhh, yeah," Dom said. "Sounds like fraudulent charges or something."

"No," Matty laughed. "I would have checked on that. These are both deposits. I don't worry about them so much. Probably some endorsement checks I forgot about or something. I just like to stay on top of it, you know?"

He wasn't great with money but he was trying. He had a lot more responsibilities now and he didn't want to let Antoni and the kids down.

Matty opened his banking app and logged in. He scanned his account, confused. "Oh, hmm. I don't see anything … Ohh wait. Must be Antoni's account. Let me check that."

"You have joint accounts?" Dom asked, his brows drawing together.

"Well, yeah," Matty said, not looking up. "When we got married, we did all that. I mean, we have some separate accounts too but it made way more sense to shift everything over to my bank and put my name on his stuff and his on mine, you know?"

"Yeah, I'll bet Antoni loved that," Dom said snidely. "Easy access to all of your money."

"Dom …" Dustin said, his tone warning.

"What? It's true, right?" He looked between them.

"First of all, I was the one who suggested the joint accounts," Matty said with a scowl. "Second, he argued with me about it. Third, he finally agreed because banks screw poor people over. I know you two have never had to worry about that shit but it's true. They charge way more fees on accounts with low limits and he was getting totally screwed over."

"I thought there were laws about that," Dustin said with a frown.

"Yeah. They went into effect last year." Dom pursed his lips. "See, Antoni's been lying to you."

Annoyed, but not willing to let himself be goaded into an argument, Matty rolled his eyes. "There are laws, yeah. But it's only if you're young, a student, a senior, or getting disability payments or whatever. Before we got married, Antoni didn't have much money but he still didn't qualify for any of those things."

He wouldn't have known that if Antoni hadn't told him but hey, he was learning.

Dom frowned. "Oh, I didn't know that."

"Anyway, Antoni was getting screwed over by bank fees and shit so we opened up some new accounts for him. And no, he hasn't drained me of all of my money," Matty scoffed before Dom could claim that had happened. "Actually, I keep telling him to spend more money on himself but he only uses it for stuff the kids need."

"Okay, fine, so he's playing the long game," Dom argued. "But don't you think it's suspicious that he got two big deposits right when there was a ‘leak' about the team?"

Matty blinked, staring at his friend. "Seriously? You think that it was Antoni who soldus out to JockGossip?"

"It's kind of suspicious."

"Yeah, okay." Matty snorted. "I am sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for the deposits, dude, but you have fun with your paranoia."

"Guys," Dustin said tightly. "If we're having this conversation, we need to do it elsewhere."

Matty glanced up to see several guys on the team looking at them, glancing away when they realized they'd been caught staring. He became aware of several other people around too, staff at the practice facility who cooked their meals and cleaned up after them, and he felt a flicker of unease go through him.

Someone had sold their private info to JockGossip.

Matty had been thoroughly reamed out by Kate again, since apparently, he was the one who'd left the door to her office open a crack.

He felt terrible about it but he felt even worse knowing there was someone in the organization that couldn't be trusted. Someone who hadn't hesitated to leak private information.

Someone who had sold team gossip for money.

Looking back, they could see that it had been happening for a while now. At least since Dustin and Charlie's wedding. Until now, it had mostly been stuff that was easy to explain away. August's presence at the hospital where Nico had his surgery. The mid-game fight between Jonah and Felix in Buffalo.

Things that could have come from another source.

But this hit a lot closer to home.

Matty hated to think that it could be anyone on the team or one of the SAPs like Birdie, but he didn't like to think about it being someone like Mitchell or any other person on staff.

But the truth was, most organizations struggled to keep a lid on leaked info at some point or another.

It was usually trade speculation or stuff that related more to the game than players' personal lives but that wasn't always the case.

The Dallas Steers had done a big house-cleaning last season after it became obvious the organization was leaking info like a sieve. Since the new support staff had been hired, there hadn't been a single bit of news from there hitting the gossip sites.

Maybe the Fisher Cats would have to do something similar.

Kate was furious and there had been so many meetings with the ownership group and management. Matty was sick and fucking tired of all of it already.

"You coming?"

Matty blinked, looking up at Dustin and Dom who stared expectantly.

"Huh?"

"We're going to have a private chat at my place. Because I'm sick of you two sniping at each other all the damn time. This needs to get hashed out before it impacts play."

Matty bit back the urge to point out it was all Dom's fault.

He didn't, because he wasn't an idiot, but damn was he tempted. Dom was really testing his patience these days.

Matty kept his mouth shut and cleared his dishes, taking a moment to compliment the team chef, Geoff, on the meal. Geoff the chef. Poor guy, players made that lame joke all the time and he had to be sick of it.

It wasn't until Matty and Dom had taken a seat on Dustin and Charlie's couch that Matty spoke about the tension that had been simmering for months. "Dom, I know you're trying to look out for me, but I'm really fucking tired of having you treat Antoni like shit."

Dom protested. "I'm not—"

"You are, man," Dustin said with a sigh. "Matty and I both love how protective you are but you have been an asshole to him for months and it's gotta stop. I know you care about him and you're trying to look out for him but you've gotta find another way to do it."

"Am I wrong that these deposits are a little fucking suspicious?" Dom asked, leaning forward with a frown.

Dustin's lips tightened for a second. "I'll admit it's an odd coincidence. However, I think you're assuming a connection that isn't there."

"Look, there's a really fucking easy way to clear this up," Matty pointed out. "Let me call Antoni."

"Isn't he in school?" Dustin asked.

Matty glanced at the time and shrugged. "Ahh, yeah. It's his last teaching hour of the day. Well, I'll text him and he can call once he's done."

"Fine." Dom crossed his arms and Matty resisted the urge to throw something at his head.

He was acting like a spoiled child. There was probably a good reason for it but it was getting on Matty's last nerve.

He shot off a text to Antoni, then looked at Dom.

"So tell me this, why in the hell would Antoni leak stuff to the gossip blogs? I don't believe he did it, but I'll humor you for a sec. What possible reason could he have for it? The amounts that got deposited were pretty small compared to what he could drain me for if he really wanted. Which, clearly, he hasn't done!"

Dom remained silent.

"See," Matty said. "It makes zero sense. And why in the fuck would he want the fake marriage stuff to end up on JockGossipanyway? It'll only hurt his custody chances. We had to do the stupid podcast to try to fix the PR disaster we're already in!"

"I don't know, Matty! Maybe he's playing a long con or maybe he wants the fame like Courtney! He's been posting all of that stuff about you and the kids on his social media so clearly, he's not shying away from that!"

"Yeah, which we discussed ahead of time with the kids and we all agreed it was worth it."

"I'm just saying—"

"And I'm just saying I'm tired of it," Matty snapped. "Dustin's right. I love you, man, and I appreciate you being protective of me but you are driving me fucking nuts. I love Antoni. And he loves me too. If you're not okay with me marrying a guy, then goddamn say it. Because you've always been a little paranoid but you've really leveled up here lately."

Dom scowled. "I have my reasons."

"Oh, well, that explains everything." Matty rolled his eyes in Dustin's direction. "I swear to God, dude, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous."

Dom snorted. "Of Antoni? Jesus, Matty! Seriously?"

"Well, I don't know!"

"I love you but I'm not in love with you, dude, trust me," Dom scoffed.

"How the fuck would I know?" Matty snapped. "You never tell me anything!"

"Hey, guys, I think both of you need to take it down a notch," Dustin said, always trying to be the peacekeeper.

"No, I think we need to have it out once and for all," Matty said with a scowl. "I'm sick of it. Who hurt you, Dom? Because clearly someone did!"

Dom's face went white before he sagged back against the couch, looking down at his hands.

"Dom?" Matty asked, stricken, because he hadn't seen this coming. At all. "Shit! Dude, are you okay?"

Dom drew in a ragged breath before he let it out slowly. "Christian Patton."

"Holy shit," Dustin whispered. "Dom, I …"

He looked up, his eyes a little red but dry. "There. Happy now, Matty? You know my big, dark secret."

"Buddy," Matty said, his heart aching as he scooted closer to Dom. "I didn't mean … I wasn't trying to force you to out yourself or anything."

"I know, Matty." Dom sighed. "I know that. I do. You're not the kind of guy who would. But I know it's bugged you that you don't know anything about my personal life."

"Well, yeah," Matty admitted. "It made me feel like we weren't really friends. Like you didn't trust me."

"It's not that." Dom winced. "Or, maybe I don't really trust anyone anymore."

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Dustin asked quietly.

Dom's swallow was loud, his throat working for a moment before he shrugged. "I really don't but I probably should."

"We aren't trying to make you feel bad," Matty admitted. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed."

Dom took a deep breath. "No, you—we're always talking about mental health and shit and I know I shouldn't bottle this up. I just … I don't know how to talk about stuff the way you guys do."

"Well, we're here for you when you're ready," Dustin said earnestly.

"Thanks. I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be now though. Might as well rip off the fucking bandage." Dom laughed bitterly. "So, when I played in LA there was this guy. Christian. I met him at a club. I—LA is different, you know? No one gives a shit about hockey there. I mean, we have fans, but not compared to the way they care about it here. Actors, musicians, basketball players … they get way more attention. I felt safe enough to go to this little nondescript club when I needed the, uh, release."

"So, tell me to shove it if I'm being too nosy," Matty said. "But are you bi?"

Dom shook his head. "Gay. I couldn't—I had a couple of women I ‘dated' as beards but it was just … mutual PR shit arranged by my agent, you know?"

‘Shit', Matty mouthed. Well, that explained a lot.

Dustin nodded. "Yeah."

Dom drew in a deep breath. "So one season I was going through a little scoring slump where I was all up in my head and I was gripping the stick too tight every game. You know what it's like, the more you get in your head the worse you play and …"

Matty nodded, although it wasn't really goal scoring that was an issue for him. It was bad turnovers and shitty puck possession.

"I needed something, you know? Something to get my mind straight again."

Matty bit down on his tongue to stop himself from making what would be a funny but probably totally unwelcome joke, then caught a flicker of a smile from Dustin, like he knew exactly what Matty was struggling with.

"So I met Christian that night. He was—he was, you know, he was an actor and in the closet too so we both had a lot to lose. We were really compatible and we had a great hookup that night. He gave me his number after, and I wasn't going to use it but I scored two goals and an assist in my next game."

"Ahh," Dustin said and Matty nodded.

Dom was a superstitious motherfucker and if he did something before a great game, he'd do it again and again until the magic ran out.

"So, I texted him. I was nervous as hell. I had no plans to date a guy or anything but well … it just sort of happened and I had a monster season after we got together. LA won the fucking Cup that year and I won the Art Ross and a Conn Smythe too. And by then, Christian and I were more or less living together. Or, I was at his place all the time, anyway."

Matty exchanged a look with Dustin. Yeah, that made sense. The Cup was everything and to top it off with the trophies given to the player who led the league in scoring points and the player who was voted MVP in the playoffs … well, it was no wonder Dom had leaned hard into the relationship.

Dom looked down at his hands. "I thought—I thought he was my good luck charm, you know?"

"Did you love him?" Dustin asked quietly.

"Yeah," Dom whispered. "That was the worst part."

"What went wrong?"

"After a while, he, uh, he wanted me to come out."

"Shit," Matty whispered.

"Yeah. We were—we'd been dating for a few years and the longer we were together, the more pissed he got about me staying closeted. He kept talking about how Hollywood was ready for there to be openly gay actors and I kept fucking arguing that didn't mean hockey was ready for openly gay players but he—he blew up at me. We fought a lot in that final year and my scoring dipped too and then, well, I got traded."

"To Toronto," Matty finished.

Dom nodded. "Yeah. Exactly. And that was when it all fell apart. He gave me an ultimatum; he'd move here to be with me if I came out. Give up his career and everything. And you know, he's an American. For him to stay here, I probably would've had to marry him and—yeah, I wasn't ready for that shit. I'm still not. But it got nasty when I said no. We both said shit that … well, I know I regret it. No idea if he does. But it was an ugly ending. He—he threatened to out me. I finally had to have my agent pay him off to keep him quiet."

"Fuck," Matty spat, hearing Dustin's similar exclamation of horror.

"So, yeah. You asked who hurt me, Matty?" Dom looked up, his gaze a little haunted. "His name was Christian Patton and he broke my fucking heart."

"Dom …" Matty said helplessly. "Shit, I am so sorry, man. What he did was …"

"Unforgiveable," Dustin finished grimly when Matty fell silent.

Dom's mouth twisted. "Yeah, well, it was still shitty of me to take my bullshit out on you. I just—I saw too many similarities between what you have with Antoni and what you had before with Courtney. You're just so fucking nice, too. You're good and trusting of everyone. And it scares me. I don't want to see you get hurt again."

Matty could see that Dom really did care. How worried he'd been. Had he been too paranoid? Sure. But it had come from a good place.

Dom continued. "Everything going on with you got all mixed up in my head with the shit from my past with Christian. Plus, my head's been in a bad place to begin with because of where my game's at. None of this is an excuse. I know that, but …"

"It's a reason," Matty agreed.

"Yeah. It is. But, uh, you're important to me, man." Dom looked Matty in the eye, then over at Dustin. "You both are. And I don't want to fuck up what we have. Not just the team stuff but our friendship. And I know I haven't been a good friend lately. Or, maybe, ever, because of the shit I keep bottled up but I—I'll get better. I have to. Because I know I've been a dick."

"Yeah, you have," Matty agreed but he stood and pulled Dom to his feet, then yanked him in for a hug.

Dom sputtered because he really wasn't much of one for physical contact unless they were in their gear and Matty had some ideas now about why Dom was that way but oh his heart really hurt for his friend because it was all so fucked up.

The whole situation from start to finish.

"Well, we forgive you, man," Matty said, pressing a big smacking kiss on the top of Dom's head. "We love you."

Dom worked his way out of Matty's grip, giving him a vaguely annoyed look as he smoothed down his chin-length hair but he turned to Dustin. "Ahh, well, maybe don't speak for the captain."

"Shit, of course I love you and forgive you," Dustin said, scoffing as he rose to his feet. "Come on. Bring it in."

"I don't know why this team is so fucking touchy-feely," Dom grumbled but he let Dustin hug him.

"Don't lie. You secretly love it," Dustin teased.

Dom rolled his eyes.

Matty threw his arms around them both and squeezed tightly. "God, I feel so much better now."

They pulled back and Dom glared, straightening his clothing. "Good thing one of us does."

Dustin reached out and took Dom by the upper arms, looking him in the eye. "Do you feel worse now that we know the truth?"

Dom hesitated. "No. Not really, it just makes me uncomfortable to talk about. I—I think eventually, it'll feel better but right now, I hate it."

"I am sorry if we forced it out of you," Matty said, feeling guilty.

"You didn't—I mean, maybe a little but—look, it was time," Dom said with a sigh. "I made a choice to open up and I don't regret it. I hate it but I don't regret it."

Antoni closed his classroom door after the last student, staring at his phone.

Matty often sent him little texts throughout the day, but they were usually random little notes or pictures or memes or whatever.

The Hey, can you call me when you get this? was a little unnerving.

Antoni's immediate worry was about the kids but if it was that urgent, someone would have called the office and gotten ahold of him that way.

So what on earth would it be about?

Only one way to find out, he thought grimly, pressing the green button.

"Antoni!" Matty said when the call connected. "Hey."

"Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah. I just wanted to check on something," Matty said, his tone cheerful. "I got an alert on my phone from the bank earlier. Did you have a couple of big deposits go into your account recently?"

"Well, I had the van sale a couple of weeks ago," Antoni said, frowning. "Is that what you mean?"

"Ohh. Yep, that tracks with the first one. I'd almost forgot about that."

"Yeah, me too. Rob got a pretty decent price for it. I don't know anything about a second deposit though. When was this?"

"It went in a few hours ago."

"Oh, hmm. Let me put in my earbuds so we can talk while I take a look at the app."

"Sure."

Antoni got everything connected, then said, "How was your day?"

"Oh, pretty good. Hanging out with Dustin and Dom."

"Yeah?" Antoni asked distractedly, punching in his password. "That's good."

He knew there had been some friction with Dom lately so that was a good sign that they were working things out.

Antoni scanned the banking transactions. "Oh, shit that is a lot of money. What in the world is that from?"

"Maybe the bank made an error?" Matty suggested.

"Maybe," Antoni said but he was kinda doubtful. He squinted at the info about where the deposit had come from, trying to work out what that was. Why wasn't the sender more clear and obvious? It was always some cryptic shortened version of the bank name or …

Oh. Oh.

"Fuck. I know what it is," Antoni said hoarsely. "It's … it's Corey's life insurance policy."

"I thought they'd already paid the life insurance out to you," Matty said, sounding confused. "You told me you set it aside for the kids' education."

"I did, but that was Bethany's life insurance. She was, uh, a little more organized about stuff than Corey. He could be a little scattered. She mostly managed the household finances and stuff but his life insurance policy was from before they met. When I cleared out the house after—after their deaths, I dumped some piles of random papers I found stuffed in Corey's desk into a couple of boxes to sort through later. It took me months to get through all of them and then I had to contact the company and there was some question about if he'd let the policy lapse. I was able to prove he hadn't but it took a while. I guess they finally got it all processed and paid out."

"Oh wow," Matty said. "You doing okay?"

Antoni swallowed, his throat thick, his eyes pricking with tears. "I guess?"

"Baby," Matty's voice was so tender. "Do you need me to come get you?"

"No. No." Antoni sniffed and blinked a few times. "No, I'm okay. We can talk more about it tonight but I'll be fine to drive home."

"Okay, I'll see you there. I'm at Dustin's so it won't take me long."

"No, don't rush on my account," Antoni said. "See you soon. Love you."

"Love you too." Matt's voice was soft and Antoni had to blink back more tears.

He was careful as he drove home, knowing that it wasn't the safest thing to be behind the wheel when he was feeling emotional. But he made it home without any issues and a part of him was glad to see Matty's vehicle already in the garage.

His dad had already left and Matty was in the living room with the kids. Antoni got hugs from everyone and he kissed Matty hello and he knew that outwardly he probably looked and acted pretty normal but he felt strange inside.

Like some part of him was looking at the world from a distance.

Like he wasn't really there at all.

"You need anything?" Matty asked, frowning, as he crowded Antoni against the kitchen counter. "You can go for a run while I watch the kids, if you want. Or do whatever."

"I don't know," Antoni said and that was the truth. "It started raining so I'm not really in the mood to go for a run. Maybe a little time alone?"

He felt guilty asking for it, didn't want to ignore the kids or Matty, but …

"Of course." Matty kissed his forehead. "Say no more."

He turned away and Antoni immediately missed the warm strength of his body but Matty was already calling out to the kids. "Hey, Alexis, Eli, are you done with homework?"

"Yeah," Alexis said, looking up from her tablet.

"Yep, all done!" Eli grinned.

"Okay, why don't we do a little bit of shooting practice before we cook dinner? Antoni needs some quiet time."

Alexis frowned. "Do you have a headache or something?"

"No, just had a long day," Antoni said with a weak smile. "I'll be fine. I just need to … decompress."

"Oh, okay. Yeah, we can shoot," Alexis said, already getting to her feet. "C'mon, Eli."

And it wasn't like they ever had to twist her arm to do anything hockey-related but it was still sweet the way she was worried about him.

Antoni swallowed thickly.

The emotion pressing against his throat only worsened as Eli darted over to hug him. "Love you, Babbo Antoni."

"Love you too, kiddo," Antoni said, eyes watering as he pressed a kiss to Eli's head.

"River, you want to come shoot pucks?" Matty asked.

She giggled. "No. I want to draw."

"Okay, let's take your paper and crayons down with us then," Matty said, reaching for Reese. "And, c'mon, little man. We're going to hang out in the basement. I'll bring your toys down. I know how much you like making a mess for me to pick up."

After a few moments of noise and chaos as Matty got the kids wrangled, they went downstairs.

The first floor was suddenly eerily quiet.

Antoni felt strange and listless as he wandered into the living room, automatically straightening toppled-over cushions, and tossing toys into the storage trunk below the window that overlooked the backyard.

He glanced out at the dreary skies, darkening into dusk already. He twitched the curtain closed to hide the steady rain coming down, then turned back to face the living room.

There were a few books lying on the floor and he walked over to put them away. Maybe he'd find something to read and go soak in the bath or something.

A big built-in bookcase lined one entire wall of the room and the upper shelves were mostly filled with Antoni's books and the ones that had belonged to Bethany and Corey that he hadn't had the heart to donate or sell.

The lower shelves held books for the kids and there were some sentimental and pretty knickknacks scattered throughout.

River had probably pulled some books down and forgotten to put them away. Antoni bent to pick up the books and froze.

Oh.

No. They weren't children's books. They were hardbound photo books.

Bethany had been both sentimental and practical, so she'd scoffed at the idea of scrapbooking. Instead, she'd uploaded the family photos to a website that arranged them all nicely, printed them as a hardcover book, then shipped them to her.

Antoni had placed them on the low shelves where the kids could access them if they ever wanted to look through them, but he hadn't been able to stomach it since they moved in.

He probably shouldn't avoid them but he hadn't felt ready to rehash the happy memories when everything felt so chaotic and uncertain with the custody fight.

Antoni's eyes watered as he stared at the book from last year.

God, it was from before Reese was born.

Antoni sank onto the nearby couch and opened the book at random, sniffling a little as he stared at the photo of Bethany, Corey, Alexis, Eli, and River trick-or-treating last October.

Antoni's heart clenched as he remembered taking the photo, laughing when River kept grimacing at the camera in that weird way kids did when they were learning to smile and pose for a camera and got awkward about it.

He flipped the page and there was a photo of him and Bethany with their arms slung over each other's shoulders, Antoni tipsy at the Halloween party they'd gone to after the kids were safely in bed at his parents' house, the photo a little out of focus because Corey had been buzzed too.

Bethany had, of course, been pregnant with Reese at the time, so she'd been their designated driver.

Then every page turned blurry and Antoni blinked as he flipped through them, taking in Thanksgiving and Christmas, watching Bethany's stomach round out as her pregnancy progressed.

And then Antoni couldn't see the pages at all, his eyes welling with tears that he couldn't stop. He let out a strange, hitching breath and a sob escaped him.

And then another.

The tears flowed freely then, his chest heaving with strained breaths as the emotion he'd held in for the past six months finally broke through.

It felt like water from a crumbling dam, rushing through him, sweeping everything in its path away.

I miss you so fucking much, he thought. I love your kids, I love the family Matty and I have now but why did I have to lose you to get it?

That was the feeling that had been lingering inside him since April.

He'd had to lose so much to gain the love he'd found. The family he and the kids had formed, the one they'd created when Matty stepped into their lives … it was so beautiful and good and Antoni loved it with every fiber of his being.

But there was an ache of loss running under it all, a sharp pang of bitter in the midst of the sweet.

He knew life wasn't really fair and no one had ever promised that it was, but it still felt cruel of the universe to take two good people, two amazing parents, from the world.

Another ragged sob tore from Antoni's throat.

The sound of pounding feet on the stairs and the door flying open startled him and he looked up to see Matty frowning.

"Baby," he said. "What's wrong?"

All Antoni could do was sob harder and then Matty was beside him, gathering him close, wiping his face clean with his hoodie sleeve.

"I miss them so much," he wept.

A fresh wave of tears coursed down his cheeks and he pressed his face to Matty's broad chest, clutching at the soft fabric as Matty rocked him and made soft, soothing sounds against his hair.

Eventually, they shifted so he lay on his side, Matty stretched out beside him, holding him close.

For a little while, Antoni drifted on the waves of grief, and then a small face peered at him.

"What's wrong, Babbo?" River asked.

"Antoni's feeling sad," Matty said. "He misses your mom and dad."

"Me too," River said with a sigh.

Still sniffling, Antoni reached out to touch River's hair. "I know, sweetie."

Then Eli was there and Alexis, and someone settled Reese into the crook where Antoni's body met Matty's and he was squashed in the middle of all of them.

It helped, knowing how much they loved him, and eventually the tears slowed and he took a deep, shuddering breath. And then another, until the tightness in his chest was gone.

"Are you okay?" Eli asked, their tone worried.

"Yeah." Antoni gave them a soft smile and took their hand. "I … I was thinking about your parents today and I ran across the photo book and I got sad. But it's okay. I needed to cry. I'm sorry if I scared you guys though."

"No, it's okay," Alexis said. "I cry about it too sometimes. We just wanted to be sure you were okay."

"I will be." Antoni shifted a little, patting Reese's belly. "Should we do this on purpose sometimes though?"

"Sit down and cry?" Eli asked and Antoni laughed.

"Well, we might cry. But I meant go through these books. Watch the DVDs of family memories. Talk about them."

Alexis frowned, like she was thinking really hard about it before she nodded. "Yeah, I think that would be good."

"Me too," Eli said.

"Me three!" River piped up.

Antoni groaned. "Nooo. That's such a bad joke. I think you've been spending too much time with Papa Matty, River." He reached out and tickled her.

She shrieked, grinning. "I love Papa Matty!"

Antoni smiled. "Me too, kiddo, me too."

But Reese grew fussy, demanding to be fed, so they untangled themselves and stood.

Antoni tucked the photo book away, washed his face, drank some water, then helped with dinner.

Matty got Reese to bed while Antoni did the dishes, then sat at Antoni's feet while he read River her bedtime story.

They said goodnight to Eli and Alexis, then retreated to their bedroom.

"You doing okay?" Matty asked, gathering him close.

"Yeah." Antoni took a deep breath. "Honestly, I think I needed that little breakdown."

Matty hugged him more tightly and Antoni buried his face against Matty's chest, breathing in the scent of him. "I think you did too."

"Thanks for being there for me while I went through it."

"Baby," Matty said, his voice so tender Antoni would have cried if he wasn't completely drained. "I'll always be there for you. You and the kids."

"I know." Antoni kissed the Fisher Cats logo on his hoodie. "And I know your team will too."

"Of course." Matty fell silent but he fidgeted a little so Antoni knew that something else was coming and he waited patiently.

"Dom wants to apologize to you."

"Yeah?" Surprised, Antoni drew back far enough to look Matty in the eye. "For what?"

"Being a suspicious dick," Matty said with a scowl.

"Ahh." Antoni put the pieces together. "He thought the bank deposits were something shady?"

"He thought you'd been paid by JockGossip."

Antoni snorted. "Right. Because I love having my private life talked about by the greater Toronto area. And photos of our family taken at the fucking pharmacy."

"I know, right?" Matty grimaced. "Which, he realizes that now."

Antoni narrowed his eyes. "Matty, did you make him feel guilty when you found out the money was from Corey's life insurance?"

Matty held up a hand, his fingers a few millimeters apart. "Maybe a little?"

Antoni snorted. "You're terrible."

"Ehh, you like me. I can't be too bad."

"I more than like you, big guy," Antoni said, getting his hand under Matty's hoodie and poking him in the side.

Matty squawked. "You better."

"So, I guess if Dom wants to apologize, that's fine," Antoni said with a shrug.

Antoni suspected he might not be as forgiving if he knew what Dom had actually said about him but he didn't, so he was going to let bygones be bygones.

Matty hesitated. "Dom has … he has some good reasons for being suspicious. I—I can't tell you what they are because it's personal to him but I will say someone important to him did him really dirty and that's why he was acting that way."

"Ahh. Well, I can understand that. Maybe we could have him over for dinner or something?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. We'll figure out a time soon."

"Perfect." Antoni stepped back but he caught Matty's hand in his, tugging a little. "Hey. Come to bed with me?"

"You don't have to ask me twice." Matty ripped off his hoodie, flinging it across the room.

Laughing, Antoni shook his head and stripped out of his clothing too, letting Matty tumble him to the bed.

He was still smiling as he reached out and traced Matty's face, softly touching his short beard and warm smile.

"Love you," he whispered and Matty's whole face lit up.

"Love you too."