CHAPTER THIRTY

"Hey, handsome." Matty slid onto the practice arena bench beside Antoni on Thursday evening. "Come here often?"

Antoni glanced over and his eyes widened, his face absolutely lighting up in a way that made Matty's heart go soft and fond.

"Oh my God, you made it!" He cupped Matty's cheek and leaned in for a brief but warm kiss.

Matty grinned when he drew back. "Of course I did. I told you I'd try."

"Yeah, but I wasn't sure …" Antoni bit his lip. "I know you had practice today and the team trip to the hospital to film your volunteering and …"

Matty reached out, tugging Antoni's lip out from between his teeth. "Hey, I meant what I said. I'll always come home to you and the kids," he whispered. "And I'll be here at their events as much as I fucking can, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay." Antoni leaned in, pressing his forehead against Matty's. "Thank you."

You never have to thank me for loving you and wanting to be with you,Matty thought, his heart aching a little from not saying the words aloud.

But this wasn't the time or the place.

So all he did was wrap an arm around Antoni's shoulders and let him snuggle close. He looked great right now, all cozy in a Fisher Cats hoodie and jeans as he watched Eli's practice.

Alexis was in the next rink over and Antoni said he'd been trying to alternate watching both of them. Matty had already peeked in on her to see how she was doing and he'd made it in time to see her score a goal in the drill they were doing.

"Hey. How's Eli doing?" Matty asked with a frown as he nodded at the kids out on the ice. "Anyone hassling them?"

"It's been good so far," Antoni said. "I'm always holding my breath but …"

"Yeah, I hear that." Matty watched Eli skate for a few minutes, trying not to be distracted by the feel of Antoni's hip pressed against his own and the warmth of his palm on Matty's thigh.

According to Antoni, Corey had taught both kids to skate. Alexis had been playing hockey for years but Eli was just getting into it.

"What drills do they have them running?" Matty asked.

Antoni looked blankly at him but Elena—who sat on the other side of him, watching two of her own kids—laughed. "Today, it has been stick handling, passing the puck, and instruction on how to correctly hold the stick."

Right now, they were practicing their skating and doing laps around the ice.

Impressed, Matty said, "They're going pretty well."

"Eli, or all of the kids?" Antoni asked.

"Eli."

Antoni chuckled. "See, you know, I totally support Eli being non-binary but this is where the English teacher in me admits that occasionally the language gets confusing."

Matty chuckled too, leaning in to speak in Antoni's ear. "I'd like to have an English teacher in me right now."

Antoni playfully knocked their shoulders together. "You're terrible. Such a dad joke."

Matty felt a little pang because he wanted that.

He wanted to be the kids' dad. Not to take away who Corey was or what Antoni was doing raising them now. But another person there for them. Another father figure.

And, yes, Matty knew he was doing that already and the title shouldn't matter but somehow it felt like it did.

"Hey, you okay?" Antoni said, his voice husky and concerned as he squeezed Matty's thigh. "You looked a little sad there for a minute."

"Yeah, I'm good." Matty turned his head to kiss Antoni's forehead. "Just thinkin' about things."

"I'm here if you want to tell me about them."

"Not right now but I will," Matty promised.

"Ugh. The honeymoon phase. You two are sickening," Elena said with a sigh as she dug a protein bar out of her bag.

Antoni scoffed. "Like you should talk. You and Anton have been married how long? And you're still grossly adorable together."

She gave him a little smile, flicking her long brown hair over her shoulder. "We are cute, yes?"

"Seriously," Matty said, laughing. "And I hear congratulations are in order, huh?"

With a wry smile, Elena pressed her hand to her midsection, her glossy pink nails flashing. "Yes. Number six is on the way."

"Oh shit, really? Congrats!" Antoni said, beaming.

"Thank you. We are happy. This is it though," she said. "Anton got snipped when we found out two months ago. We figured best to do it while he was out with his hip stuff anyway."

"Smart," Matty said with a nod. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, pretty good," she said with a sigh. "I'm a pro at this by now."

Matty chatted with her for a little bit before she got distracted by something Kayla said and he turned back to Antoni.

"At least that's not something we have to worry about, eh?" Antoni said with a smile.

Matty laughed. "No, I'm definitely not going to knock you up."

Antoni snickered. "Good. I've got enough on my plate right now."

But Matty wondered. Did that mean Antoni might want more kids later? They were definitely going to have to talk about that at some point.

They watched Eli pass by one of their teammates and Matty hummed and said, "Eli has some good speed."

"Yes," Elena agreed, rejoining the conversation. "They're good on their skates and the stick handling will come in time."

"God, I feel like you two speak a different language. I still have so much to learn," Antoni said with a sigh.

"That will come in time too," she said with a grin.

After a few more rounds, the drills wrapped up and the coaches got them organized to play sharks and minnows.

It made Matty smile, thinking about La Bouche. The team had gone through a rough spot a few years back with their goaltender, Noah Boucher, coming back from knee surgery and the team dynamics getting skewed.

Noah had always been the heart and soul of the team and Dustin had … well, he'd struggled with his leadership. He'd been the captain—partly because goalies couldn't be captains—and partly because everyone could see the potential in him.

Unfortunately, Dustin had gotten in his own way for a while but he and Noah had straightened it out eventually. And Noah's suggestion that the team play some sharks and minnows at practice to break up the tension and get everyone relaxed and having fun together again had worked.

Smiling, Matty watched as the kids lined up at the goal line as minnows. The three coaches became the sharks and their job was to stay between the blue lines.

The object of the game was for the minnows to skate past the sharks and make it to the other end of the other goal line without getting touched by a shark.

Anyone touched by the shark turned into a shark and it grew progressively harder for the remaining minnows to get past them.

Matty cheered as Eli dodged the sharks for several rounds. They were eventually tagged by a shark and didn't win, but Matty still cheered for them and for the kid who was the last one standing on her skates.

Eli was pink-cheeked and smiling when they were finally released from practice.

Some of the kids headed for the locker rooms where there were designated and vetted parents to oversee the kids, but some kids, like Eli, went straight to the benches to change.

"I'll wrangle Eli's gear if you get Alexis," Matty offered.

Antoni nodded. "Sounds good. Meet you back here shortly. Thanks again for dropping the kids off today, Elena!"

"Oh sure, no problem," she said with a wave as she helped one of her boys. "Any time!"

With a quick kiss, Matty let Antoni go and walked over to Eli who was struggling with their skates, the laces a tangled mess.

"Did you see me, Matty? Did you see me?" Eli asked, practically bouncing in their seat as Matty helped work the laces loose.

"I did! You're so speedy! I'm really impressed."

"Yeah?" Eli's eyes glowed. "It was super fun at the end there."

"I'm glad you had fun," Matty said. "I love watching you skate. Your dad did a great job teaching you."

"I wish he could see me now," Eli whispered, eyes big and a little teary, and Matty had to blink really hard to keep from crying.

"Oh wow, I do too," Matty said, reaching out to hug Eli, his heart aching. "But, you know, I bet he'd be really proud of you if he could see you. Your mom too. And I know it's not the same, but Antoni and I are gonna be here to cheer you on as much as possible, okay?"

"Yeah," Eli said with a sigh, leaning into Matty a little. "That sounds good."

"Now, how about you get changed and we can go home and have some dinner?"

"Okay." Eli shrugged out of their jersey. Something got snagged when it was partway off and Eli flailed. "Ugh, crap. I'm stuck!"

"Need some help?" Matty asked with a laugh.

"Yes please."

Matty found the issue and helped Eli get untangled, tugging off the jersey to reveal a flushed and disheveled kid in a pink Fisher Cats tee.

"Thanks," they said with a bright grin.

Matty was relieved that the sad moment had passed without too much fuss but he made a mental note to talk to Antoni about it later.

Maybe they should talk more about Bethany and Corey with the kids. Matty knew there were photo books and some DVDs in the living room but Antoni never went near them and Matty hadn't seen the kids reminiscing either.

"Matty! You're back!"

He glanced up to see Antoni and Alexis walking over.

"Hey there, big shot," he said, holding out a hand for a high five. "You're looking good on the ice! I saw your goal earlier and I was impressed."

Alexis glowed. "I got a few of them today!"

"Awesome. You're doing better than me," he teased.

Alexis grinned. "Maybe I can give you a few tips."

Matty threw his head back at the chirp, then held his fist out for her to bump. "Nice one."

Eli zipped up their bag and bounced to their feet. "Okay, I'm changed."

"Ready to go home?" Antoni asked, smiling brightly at them both.

"Yes. I'm starving," Alexis said.

"Snacks are in the SUV," Antoni said. "Protein bar, applesauce, and sports drink for you, Alexis. Cheese and salami and chocolate milk for you, Eli."

"Aww, I wanted to ride with Matty," Eli whined.

"Me too!" Alexis said. "I want to tell him more about practice since he didn't get to see it for long."

Antoni shrugged. "So grab your snacks from my vehicle and ride with Matty, if you want. He can have your gear stinking up everything and give my poor nose a break."

Matty laughed and picked up Eli's bag. Bad smells were pretty much inevitable in hockey so Antoni was going to have to get used to them. "Sure, you can both ride with me," he offered.

"I get shotgun!" Alexis called as she walked toward the exit for the lobby.

"Hey! No fair! You cheated!" Eli took off after her like a shot.

The kids squabbled playfully and Antoni rolled his eyes at Matty and took his hand, following in their wake.

Matty couldn't stop smiling.

This was … God, this was the life he'd wanted. Stinky gear and all.

"Mr. Carlson?" a small voice called out behind him.

Matty turned to see a cluster of three little boys looking up, wide-eyed.

"Hi there," Matty said.

"Could you—could you sign something for me?" one of the kids asked, looking so hopeful Matty didn't have the heart to say no.

"Sure. One sec." He turned to Antoni. "You mind?"

"Of course not." Antoni gave him an understanding look.

Matty passed over Eli's bag and his keys. "I'll be out in a minute, okay?"

"Sure. No prob. You need a marker? I have some in my bag." Antoni patted his leather satchel.

"Yeah, thanks."

After that was taken care of, Matty crouched down and smiled at the kids. "What do you want me to sign and who should I make it out to?"

Of course, after that, a few of the adults wanted him to sign something too and it took him a while to excuse himself. Hopefully after a few more visits, people would get used to him being around and stop asking.

Still, he didn't mind as long as people were polite and they weren't seekers trying to get an autograph that they'd turn around and sell on eBay or whatever.

Smiling, Matty pushed through the doors and stepped outside, enjoying the cool, crisp fall air. Ooh, maybe they should take the kids apple picking this weekend. He had a home game on Saturday but maybe Sunday …

God, he was looking forward to being in Toronto for a nice long stretch.

He couldn't wait to go home tonight, spend a little time with the kids, get them off to bed, then have some alone time with Antoni.

But he frowned as he drew closer to Antoni's SUV and caught a glimpse of an older, well-dressed couple standing near it, lit up by the floodlights in the parking area.

Antoni faced the couple, his arms crossed over his chest, a scowl on his face. Alexis stood right beside him and Eli was tucked behind her, peering around her arm.

"Don't you want to come on a trip with us, Lexie?" the woman coaxed and Matty's frown deepened.

"Don't call me Lexi," she spat. "And no, we don't. We don't want to go anywhere with you."

"But you'll have a great time and you can miss school …"

"I don't want to miss school," Alexis said, glaring. "I want to stay here with Antoni and Matty. You can't make us go, Grandma."

Oh shit.Matty stepped forward, sliding an arm around Antoni's waist in a silent show of support. Antoni leaned against him but he didn't relax at all.

"Bill, Robin," Antoni said firmly. "As I told you earlier, this is not the appropriate place to have this conversation. I'd prefer if we left all custody and visitation issues up to the courts but if you insist on discussing it with me, we should do it in private and not in front of the kids. If you want to—"

"Well, this is your fault that we had to come here. You won't let us see our grandchildren any other way!" Bill protested. "We had to see for own eyes that they were safe."

Antoni snorted. "Safe? You do realize the reason I won't let you see them is because Bethany and Corey and the kids made it clear that you aren't safe for the kids to be around, right?" Antoni asked. His tone was polite enough but icy cold.

Matty squeezed his hip, knowing how upset he must be. How worried for the kids.

"Not safe!" Robin gasped, wiping her eyes. "It makes me so sad to see the way you've brainwashed these poor children against their own grandparents."

Alexis snorted. "Uncle Antoni didn't brainwash anyone. I don't like you and I don't feel safe with you. I know exactly what you'd do. You'd hurt Eli again and I'm not going to let that happen."

"I didn't hurt him!" She protested. "I was just—"

"Don't say him," Alexis shouted. "It's they and you know it. You're being mean."

"I refuse to call any child they and them," she snapped. "For one, it's grammatically incorrect and—"

Antoni laughed. "Really? That's your argument? Well if you want to go that route, you're the one who is incorrect, ma'am. A singular they has been documented in literature as far back as 1375."

Her lips thinned. "According to whom?"

"Well, the Oxford English Dictionary for one, and written language usually reflects what's already present in spoken language so I think it's probably safe to say it's been in common usage for well over six or seven hundred years."

Robin sniffed. "Are you really going to lecture me on grammar?"

"For a start," Antoni snapped. "But mostly I'm going to lecture you on being an unsupportive asshole to your grandchildren."

"Oh, that language! And how dare you lecture me on how to treat my own flesh and blood!"

"How dare I?" Antoni asked with a little laugh. "Oh, you have to be kidding me. I have done nothing but love and support all four kids—"

"Yes, where are River and Reese?" Bill interrupted. "I assume they're with a babysitter."

"They're home with my father," Antoni said calmly. "Who has been there day in and day out helping me with them. As has my mother. And my brother and his wife. And Matty, of course."

Antoni glanced over at Matty, his smile soft, like for a moment, they were totally alone.

"Yes." Bill sneered. "Your so-called ‘husband'."

"Oh no, he is definitely my husband," Antoni said, still smiling as he turned back to face the Swansons. "Legally and in all other ways, if you're curious."

Bills sputtered, his face turning an unhealthy shade of red. "I don't need to hear about your depravity and all of the ways you've warped my grandchildren. I suppose I'm glad to see Eli doing a masculine sport like hockey but—"

"Excuse me?" Matty said, no longer able to keep quiet. "What did you say?"

"Well." Bill looked him up and down. "Carlson, I'd think you of anyone would know what a masculine sport hockey is. Always liked you as a player but I can't say I think much of the choices you've been making lately."

"The choices?" Matty asked in disbelief. Because yeah, he knew there were shitty people out there but damn this dude was an asshole.

"Pretending to date and marry Bianchi here. How'd he get you to agree to it anyway? We all know you're straight and—"

"Yeah, that's the thing," Matty said, jaw tight, anger rising. "I'm not. I'm not straight and I guess I never have been. Probably bi but whatever you want to call it, I am married to a man because I care about him. Because he's the kind of partner I want. Because we want to raise the kids together. Because we're building a family together and it's the kind of family you can't even imagine. It's loving and supportive and –"

Bill recoiled. "You don't really believe this disgusting shit, do you?"

"I sure as hell do," Matty snarled. "And let me clear one thing up for you. Hockey is for everyone. Guys like me. Girls like Alexis. And non-binary people like Eli. And if you think for one second you get to show up and tell any of us how to live our lives, you've got another thing coming, man."

"I don't believe this. You really are a fucking fa—"

Matty grabbed Bill by the front of his jacket and lifted until his heels left the ground.

The older man made a choked sputtering sound, his hands flailing at Matty's forearm.

Matty glared. "Don't you dare use that slur. Not in front of me or my husband or our kids. Do. You. Hear. Me?" He shook a little, enough to make Bill's teeth rattle.

He squeaked, "You're so sensitive—"

Matty shook him again and Bill let out another choking noise.

"Fine, fine! I won't say it."

"Good." Matty lowered Bill to the ground, easing up on the grip he had on his jacket but not letting go completely, eyes still narrowed. "Because you're not going to get near my kids again. Ever. I will fight you in court because it's the right way to handle it, but remember, that's not the only way I know how to fight," he said menacingly. "You put one toe out of line and I'll make you regret it, Swanson."

He let go of Bill's jacket and patted the wrinkled fabric. He must have patted a little too hard though because Bill stumbled, falling back to the pavement.

"Oh!" Robin shrieked. "How dare you hit my husband!"

Matty snorted. "I didn't hit him. He fell on his ass."

She glared. "Our lawyers will be hearing about this."

"I'm sure they will," Matty said drily. "And you'll be hearing from our lawyers."

"We'll see who the public believes. Did anyone get this on camera?" Robin asked, glancing around at the crowd of people who were watching.

Several people nodded. "Yeah, I did," one guy said.

Matty groaned under his breath, looking back at Antoni with a guilty expression. Shit. He'd really fucked this up.

"Come on," Antoni said, jerking his head toward the SUV. "Let's get out of here. Let's go home."

"I hate them," Alexis muttered as she picked up her hockey bag, slinging it over her shoulder with a groan. She trudged toward Matty's SUV, scowling.

Antoni sighed and put his arm around her shoulders. "Honestly? Me too. And I wish you didn't have to, but you did a good thing sticking up for Eli."

Matty walked over to Eli, who stood there, looking a little lost, their bag still at their feet. "You doing okay, kiddo?"

"Yeah," they sniffled. "It was … I thought Grandma and Grandpa were going to do something bad. Try to take us away, or something."

"Not on my watch," Matty said firmly as he wrapped an arm around Eli, who threw their arms around his waist.

"Thanks, Matty. You're the best," they said, tears wetting the front of Matty's shirt.

All Matty could do was hug them back. He didn't feel like the best. He felt like he'd really, really fucked up.

It was one thing to lose his temper on the ice. But he should know better than to do it in public.

What if he'd just made Antoni's custody suit worse?