CHAPTER THREE

"So how'd things go yesterday?" Dominic Olson asked Matty as they skated lazy laps around the rink, waiting for some of their teammates to arrive for the informal practice this morning.

The season wouldn't officially begin until mid-October but things were beginning to ramp up already. Matty couldn't wait. Hockey was the best time of year.

"Yesterday?" Matty asked.

"Your real estate agent was showing the house to some guy, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah," Matty said. "Uh, it went fine, I guess."

Dom lifted an eyebrow. "No offer?"

"Nah. Sounded like maybe it wasn't the right place for him."

"Oh, bummer."

"It's fine. Really, it's not supposed to go on the market until next week, anyway." Matty shrugged.

"Are you having second thoughts about selling it?"

"No. Not really," Matty said.

Though he couldn't stop thinking about the idea of Antoni and the kids moving in.

God, the place would be perfect for them. The kids would love the tennis courts and the artificial ice surface in the basement. There were plenty of bedrooms and a big backyard to play in. Matty could hang up a tree swing and …

He sighed, realizing he needed to slow his roll.

Just because he wanted a family to do stuff like that for, it didn't mean he was going to be able to do that for Antoni's kids. The guy was practically a stranger and Matty had never even met those kiddos.

But, gah, it sucked to see people hurting and not be able to help.

It was why Matty liked going to the children's hospital and cuddling the babies in the NICU. It made him feel useful.

The team did volunteer work there all the time, meeting with kids, signing autographs, handing out merch … but going on his own was Matty's favorite. When he wasn't on the road, he went once a week to cuddle the sweet little babies.

It made Matty feel so good to see them go from fussy and squirming to sleeping quietly against his chest. Some of the nurses called him the baby whisperer.

He wondered what Antoni's baby was like. He hadn't mentioned a name or anything or how old it was.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Dominic asked, sounding concerned. "You're on another planet today, man."

"Umm, yeah, I'm okay," Matty lied. "Maybe just didn't sleep well."

That part was true. He'd tossed and turned all night thinking about Antoni's van breaking down or the kids having to sleep in some rundown motel, scratching from bedbugs.

But hopefully Antoni could find something better than that. Matty didn't have any doubt that Antoni would try his best. It was clear he loved those kids like crazy and wanted to do everything he could for them.

But it was also pretty clear he was running himself ragged already. If something more went wrong …

"You sure?" Dominic shot Matty a suspicious look. "Because you're usually bouncing all over the place and being the funny man."

Matty shrugged. "Like I said, I'm tired. And I was … thinking about some things."

"You don't think." Dom narrowed his eyes.

Matty made an indignant noise and thwacked Dom's chest with the back of his glove. "Fuck you, dude. I think about things plenty."

"Sure." Dom didn't look convinced but he tapped Matty's shin with his stick. "Hey, you want to do some face-off drills? My speed and offensive production aren't where I want them to be, so the least I can do it is win as many fucking face-offs as possible for the team this season."

Dom sighed heavily.

"Sure," Matty said, tearing his thoughts away from Antoni and his kids. "Of course. Whatever you need."

Dom was an incredible player. In his career, he'd won two Stanley Cups and countless awards. He'd played for team Canada in the Olympics and won Gold.

But his career was winding down and everyone knew it. Last season, he'd been their first line center, then been shuffled to second when it was clear that Colton Yates was out-producing him.

This season … well, no one knew what their lineup would look like. Coach Casey had taken a leave of absence to be with his wife while she was undergoing cancer treatment. Their new coach, Michael Gilbert, was known to be a hardass.

It was definitely going to be a big change for all of them.

Defensemen like Matty rarely took face-offs and even when they did, it was usually a guy like Jonah Brewer or Nico Arents who took it. But Matty was strong and he liked helping his friend, so he regularly practiced like this with Dom so he could get his reps in.

By the time they were done, Matty was damp with sweat and he skated over to the bench to grab a water bottle.

As he squirted water in his mouth, he could hear the noise of some of their teammates in the hallway that led to the practice rink. His captain and top line winger, Dustin Fowler, and Eric Jensen, their other top line winger, were squabbling playfully about who was right about some random hockey statistic.

They skated onto the ice, still arguing, and Matty grinned.

Some things never changed. Dustin would always talk hockey with anyone who would listen. Poor Charlie. His adorable little husband didn't deserve that.

Felix Hale and Jonah Brewer skated out a moment later, laughing about something else, and Matty smiled at them. They were in their own world—like always—and Matty was glad to see they were doing well.

It had been a really tough end to last season. The team had been eliminated in the second round of the playoffs and Matty knew Jonah still blamed himself.

But Jonah had been defending Felix from an asshole who'd made fun of his alcohol addiction—a seriously low blow—and he'd been totally justified in throwing the punch, if you asked Matty. Jonah and Felix had been in a bad place that night anyway, with Jonah's grandmother, Ji-Min, in the hospital and both of them worried sick over her.

Felix and Jonah had argued in the locker room that night too. It had been kind of a mess all around.

And sure, maybe if Jonah hadn't punched Dallas Sutton in the face and half the team hadn't wound up in the penalty box, they could have tied the game up and gone into overtime.

Maybe they'd have won the game in OT, then won a few more.

But Matty had his doubts.

The team had been struggling all around last season. By the playoffs, their goaltending situation had been a disaster and with Nico Arents out and recovering from a brain tumor, that wasn't really a recipe for playoff success.

But it made Matty happy to see Jonah and Felix happy now, laughing and joking around, looking at each other with heart-eyes. Pretty cool that they'd gone from being best friends to crazy in love.

Matty was a little jealous. Maybe someday he'd find love like that …

But a whistle brought him back to reality and he joined his teammates as they skated over to Dustin to await instructions. Some days they ran drills, some days they did 3-on-3 scrimmages, some days they did a mix of things.

Today was a mix and by the time they were done, Matty was drenched in sweat and happiness. Hockey always put him in a great mood.

In the locker room, Matty couldn't resist checking his phone in the hopes that there would be a message from Antoni. Not that he wanted Antoni to have an emergency or anything but he'd kinda hoped he'd at least get a quick little text or something.

Maybe a ‘thanks, the kids enjoyed the food' or something. Not that Matty had done it because he wanted praise or anything, he just …

He sighed. He'd just hoped that Antoni had wanted an excuse to talk.

He definitely seemed like he needed a friend. And Matty would love to be that for him if Antoni would let him. Something about the guy just tugged at Matty's heartstrings. Besides, this was who he was. He was the guy who was there to help out people who needed it.

He always had been, always would be.

Lost in his own thoughts, Matty stripped down, half-listening to the guys talking over one another, making plans for lunch.

"You coming with us?" Dustin asked a few minutes later as they ambled toward the showers. "I think we're going to that new Italian place."

Matty nodded. "Yup. Sounds good to me. I could eat a fucking moose."

Dustin laughed. "So the usual?"

"Yup." Matty grinned.

But as he soaped his body, he thought of Antoni again. Maybe it was the mention of Italian.

Whatever it was, it was probably dumb to be so worried about someone Matty had only talked to for an hour or so but thoughts of Antoni and the kids had hooked into his brain and refused to let go.

No matter how many times Matty checked his phone that day, the texts were the same ones he always got.

By that evening, he had messages from his family back in Oklahoma, group chats from the guys on the team about dumb stuff, updates from his real estate agent and the tradespeople coming to fix up his house. And a couple from some guys he knew in town.

They weren't friends, exactly.

In the past few years, Matty had let a couple of them crash at his place for a while and loaned several of them some money. Dom and Dustin were always telling Matty he shouldn't be so generous but Matty had been where they were—or at least close to it—and he hated to see people struggle.

Of course, not all of them got around to paying him back …

They liked to throw parties too. Drink his booze and eat his food. And Matty didn't mind—he loved having the company—but with the house going up for sale next Wednesday, Matty had told them his place was off-limits.

They'd sounded a little annoyed but what was Matty supposed to do?

Risk having another hole in the wall from a couple of guys drunkenly tussling? No, Sharon would kill him and he wanted this place gone.

Still, on nights like tonight, when Matty was stretched out on the couch in front of his TV watching Sunday night pre-season football, he almost wished one of those dudes was crashing here.

At least the house wouldn't be so damn quiet. Playing at the lower levels of hockey, a guy got used to sharing rooms on the road or sharing apartments or rental houses. The leagues paid peanuts and players had to make every dollar stretch as far as possible.

Matty had hated the loneliness after he started playing for the Fisher Cats. Maybe that was why he'd married Courtney so quickly.

Of course, as his mother liked to say, marry in haste, repent at leisure.

His parents had grown up together and dated for a long time before they got married and they'd been happy for nearly forty years so Matty supposed she knew what she was talking about.

This was what he got for not listening to her.

Annoyed and restless tonight, Matty went through his messages again. He contemplated asking Dom if he wanted to hang out but he was always busy on Sunday nights.

Matty never knew with what but, well, Dom could be weirdly tight-lipped about his personal life.

Dom had never once brought anyone to team events or even hooked up with someone at the bar. Matty would assume he was asexual or something but once or twice the team had spotted marks on his collarbone from someone's mouth, so clearly, he was doing something with someone. Even if he'd never say who.

But whatever Dom was doing and whoever he was doing it with, he absolutely never answered his phone on Sunday nights so that was a lost cause.

Unable to sit still any longer, Matty got up, leaving the TV playing so there would be some noise, and walked over to the home gym.

He made a beeline for his squat rack and stripped off his T-shirt.

Weightlifting wouldn't make him less lonely but at least he wouldn't have time to stare at his phone and wait for a text that was never going to come.

"Bye, Antoni!" Tabitha Alvarado called out as she passed his classroom the next morning. "See you tomorrow!"

"Bye! See you then!" Antoni called back to the world lit teacher, tacking the last poster on the wall of his classroom. He surveyed the walls and nodded. There. At least it was starting to look like his space again.

He'd planned to buy several more this year but that definitely wasn't happening now.

He wasn't spending a single penny he didn't have to.

His Aunt Sharon hadn't come up with any places in his budget and when he'd politely told her that the ones she was sending him were impossible, she'd apologized but said she'd run out of options.

He'd found a few on his own and she'd arranged showings for them, but as nice as she was about it, she clearly thought they were below her standards.

She specialized in high-end real estate so that was fair.

Especially since the one place needed massive renovations. Not just because it was ugly—though it was certainly that—but because it wasn't safe for the kids to live in. It was at the top of Antoni's budget anyway and he didn't have the kind of money he'd have to pour into it to make it safe.

And every day they inched closer to the move-out date on the rental.

Antoni had hardly slept in the past few days, his head whirling with anxiety as he wondered what the fuck to do.

This was crazy.

How could there not be a single affordable house or apartment in Toronto?

He expanded his search area, wondering if a cheaper place farther out was the answer. Maybe he could hire a nanny to run the kids around? Maybe the savings in the mortgage would make up for what he'd have to pay them?

But no matter how many times Antoni crunched the numbers, they didn't add up. He was still coming up short.

Maybe Matty was right. Maybe he wasn't the best person to take care of the kids …

Not that Matty had been trying to be cruel when he said it. He didn't seem to have a mean bone in his body.

But Antoni had done plenty of soul searching since that weird hour he'd spent at a stranger's kitchen island spilling his guts out to the man with kind brown eyes.

Antoni kept circling the problem, going around and around until his head spun.

He put on a cheerful face for the kids whenever the subject came up but Alexis was suspicious about why they didn't have a place yet and Antoni didn't know how much longer he could pretend that this would all work out.

Now, Antoni's phone buzzed in his pocket and he held his breath, hoping it was his Aunt Sharon with some miraculous house that would solve all his problems.

But no, it was his mother. He accepted the call and lifted his phone to his ear.

"Hi, Mom," he said, glancing at the clock to be sure he wasn't late picking the kids up. Nope, he still had time. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, sorry to worry you. Just wanted to ask if you were going to eat lunch here. The kids have already eaten.

"Uhh, probably not." He still had a few things left to do around the classroom. Mostly cleaning up.

"Oh, well, I'll pack some food up for you to take home," she said cheerfully. "Any luck on the house front?"

"No, not yet," he said.

"I still can't believe Sharon was showing you those ridiculously overpriced houses. She really has no touch with reality, does she?" his mom said, making a little tsking noise.

"Not really," Antoni admitted.

But why would she? Antoni's Uncle Vince had made a fortune in house flipping and Sharon was certainly doing just fine on her own with her real estate commissions. They had no kids and, well, they'd never had to budget the way Antoni did.

"It's fine," he continued. "I'll keep looking."

"I wish our place was bigger," his mom said. "You know I'd love it if you stayed with us, even just for a year or two."

"Yeah, but we've talked about that," Antoni said, pressing his phone between his shoulder and his ear as he threw away some trash. "It's too small, we'll disrupt Dad's work, and you don't need that kind of worry."

She sighed but didn't argue. His dad mostly worked from home and reducing stress was one of the biggest ways his mom managed her condition. Having four kids and Antoni always underfoot wouldn't help.

"Okay, I'm gonna have to let you go so I can finish up here," he told her. "I'll see you in about an hour, okay?"

"Okay. Love you!"

"Love you too." He ended the call, then finished organizing the room. Tonight he needed to work more on lesson plans. Plus he desperately needed to clean the kitchen and bathrooms and search for houses, and, and, and …

No sleep for me tonight. Antoni's thoughts were grim as he locked his classroom behind him and walked through the corridors, his footsteps echoing.

When classes started, the place would be filled with the noise and chaos of hundreds of teenagers. But most of his fellow teachers had come and gone already today, done with their prep work.

Antoni pushed open the door and was hit with a wave of muggy air that immediately made sweat bead up on his skin.

He tugged at his shirt, disgusted by the way it clung to his body.

Ugh. Gross.Antoni couldn't wait until this heatwave broke, bringing in cooler temps. He'd just have to suffer through for the next few weeks.

He groaned as he walked toward his van. That was going to be boiling hot too.

The minivan looked sad and pathetic, all alone in the parking lot except for a few vehicles parked under the meagre shade.

After the kids moved in, Antoni traded in his much nicer and newer car for the minivan. It was ugly and it made horrible noises sometimes, but it had good safety ratings and it had gotten them around for the past four months.

With a groan, Antoni got inside the hot, stuffy vehicle. The air-conditioning didn't put out a lot of cold air but even the hot breeze was better than still air.

He cranked the ignition immediately, and was met with silence. The engine didn't even sputter once.

"Fuck!" he swore, thumping the steering wheel with the side of his fist.

He didn't need this shit.

He tried to start the van again, but nothing.

Had he left the light on or something? Please let it be the battery, he prayed as he got out.

He jogged over to the small booth where the school security officer was stationed, grateful to see Clancy there.

"Hey, Mr. Bianchi," Clancy said with a big smile. "What's up?"

"Uh, my van won't start," he admitted, pushing his sweaty hair off his forehead. "And it's Antoni, remember?"

Clancy smiled. "Want me to take a look?"

"Would you?" Antoni asked hopefully. "I'd appreciate it."

"Probably just a dead battery. Let me lock up and I'll drive over in case you need a jump."

"Thanks," Antoni said with a grateful look. "Appreciate it."

But twenty minutes later, Clancy shut the hood of the van and gave Antoni a sad shake of his head. "Sorry, Mr. Bianchi. No luck. It's not the battery. Could be your starter, maybe? But that's not something I can fix here. You're gonna have to get a tow."

Antoni bit the inside of his cheek to keep from crying. Fuck! Not only was he going to be late picking the kids up from his parents' house, but he was also going to have to pay for a tow truck and whatever repairs he needed.

Fuck my life, he thought.

And immediately felt ungrateful. He was alive. As hard as it was, he was alive. Bethany and Corey weren't and they should be, goddamn it.

But his friends were gone and Antoni was taking care of their precious children and God, he had to keep it together. He had to show them they'd made the right choice, leaving their kids in his care.

"Thanks for trying, Clancy," Antoni said, his voice thick.

"Sure thing, Mr. Bianchi. And if you want to stay cool while you wait for the tow, just come over to the booth."

"Thanks," he said hoarsely. "I appreciate it."

Ten minutes later, a tow truck was on the way and Antoni wiped sweat off his forehead as he debated what to do next.

He should probably order a ride share but it would be horribly expensive to get one from here to his parents' house. And then he'd need another to get from his parents' house to the rental house and fuck, he definitely couldn't afford that.

Maybe someone could pick them up. But who?

His brother, Andrea, and sister-in-law, Stephanie, were out of town visiting her parents.

Antoni could borrow his parents' car but there was no time to run the kids around before his parents needed to leave for his mom's doctor's appointment. Antoni could stay at his parents' house with the kids until they got back but fuck, he needed his personal laptop for all of the house-hunting stuff and he'd only brought the work one to school today.

Antoni scrolled through his contacts, wondering if any of his friends could do him a favor.

He sent out a few texts and heard nothing back.

Antoni kept going, ruling out people who had full-time jobs that wouldn't allow them to leave in the middle of the day.

He hesitated when he scrolled past Matty's name. Matty Carlson :)

Despite the stress he felt, Antoni chuckled at the cheerful little emoji Matty had added. It was what had made Antoni hesitate to delete the number in the first place.

It had made him smile and there was too little that made him smile these days.

Antoni chewed his lip as he considered texting Matty. He had said to call if there was an emergency and, well, this was kind of an emergency. Antoni didn't want to encourage the guy or make him think he was going to take him up on his offer to move in for God's sake but … but fuck, he didn't have a lot of options at this point.

Antoni took a deep breath and typed out a message.