CHAPTER NINETEEN

After Matty walked Judy to the door and watched the gate close behind her, he turned to look at Alexis and Antoni who were locked in a staring contest.

"What the fuck was that about?" Antoni said furiously.

Alexis scowled, shouting, "Why are you yelling at me?"

"I'm not yelling! I'm just trying to—"

"Whoa. Okay, time-out for both of you." Matty winced and tugged at Antoni's arm, speaking under his breath. "Look, Antoni. This might not be my place but I think you might want to take a moment to cool off before you talk to Alexis about this. Or you might wind up saying something you'll regret later."

Antoni clenched his jaw but he nodded. "Fine. I'll go work out. And then we're going to talk, Alexis. Because I don't know what just happened here, but I am not okay with you lying that way. Not to me. Not to Judy. Not to anyone!"

"Oh, don't get mad at me!" She protested. "I did it because—"

"Hey!" Matty said, his tone firm. "I think you both need a moment to cool off."

"Fine! I'm gonna go shoot pucks then," she said with a glare like she was defying them to say no.

"And I'm going to go for a run to clear my head." Antoni turned and stalked back toward his bedroom.

When he was gone, Alexis deflated a little. "He's really mad at me, isn't he?"

"Well," Matty said slowly. "He's definitely upset that you put him—us—in this position."

"You don't get it! I did it for Eli, okay!" she hissed and turned on her heel, running for the basement door and slamming it behind her.

Matty sighed and rubbed his face. "So, that went well," he muttered.

And damn it, he hadn't even gotten a nap in today. How was he supposed to help fix a problem like this on no sleep?

Since the only thing that cleared Matty's head when he was feeling like this was a workout or cooking, he lifted some weights, took a quick shower, and was chopping vegetables by the time Antoni joined him in the kitchen.

His hair was wet too, like he'd also showered, and he wore Matty's hoodie and a sheepish expression.

"God, I fucked up earlier, didn't I?" He slumped against the counter, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "With Alexis, I mean."

"Well," Matty said, trying to word this carefully and not put his foot in his mouth and make things worse. "It was maybe not the coolest, calmest reaction ever but I totally understand why you were freaked."

"What the fuck was Alexis thinking?" Antoni asked, but there was no heat in his voice, just confusion.

Matty shrugged. "Talking to her is probably the only way to find out. She's done shooting and back in her room, so now's probably as good a time as any."

"True." Antoni straightened. "Would you come with me?"

Matty must have looked surprised because Antoni added. "Only if you want to. I just … I think I might lose my temper with her again and I don't want to do that. I thought maybe if you were there, you could pull me back if it starts getting too heated."

"Yeah, of course," Matty said, though some part of him had to laugh internally at that. The idea of him being the cool, calm, rational one would be a hell of a joke to anyone who'd ever tangled with him on the ice.

Then again, they'd made him alternate captain for a reason. He was pretty good at talking to the refs and calming his teammates down when things got heated.

Matty set down his knife, wiped his hands dry, then followed Antoni down the hall to Alexis' room. He felt a twinge in his stomach at the sight of Carlson stretched across Antoni's shoulders.

He didn't hate that. He didn't hate it at all. But now was not the time for thoughts like that.

Antoni knocked on Alexis' door. "Hey, Matty and I would like to talk to you for a few. May we come in?"

There was silence for a moment before there was a surly, "Sure. Whatever," from inside.

Matty followed Antoni into the bedroom and shut the door behind them.

"What do you want?" Alexis said, tossing her tablet on the nightstand. She was seated on her bed cross-legged and her scowl was ferocious.

"You know what I want," Antoni said calmly. He took a seat in the chair by the desk and Matty got comfortable on the floor next to him. "I want to talk. Why did you lie to Judy?"

"I didn't—"

"Alexis, you told Judy that Matty and I are dating and want to get married. That is a lie."

"You went along with it."

"And I deeply, deeply regret that now." Antoni sighed and pushed his damp hair off his forehead.

The gesture made Matty want to do it for him, to press his lips there and smooth away the lines stress had created on his forehead but he folded his hands together and listened as Antoni kept talking.

"Just explain this to me, Alexis. Because I don't understand your choices but I want to. I want to know why you felt like that was the right decision."

"Don't you get it? I was protecting Eli!"

Antoni blinked. "I'm not sure I follow …"

"Grandma and Grandpa Swanson want custody, yeah?" She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring.

Antoni nodded. "Yes. But we talked about that—"

"Well, Eli overheard too," Alexis blurted out. "We were both down there last night to shoot pucks. They were worried that they would be bad at it before their first hockey lesson and I—I was going to teach them how."

"Okay," Antoni said slowly. "I understand that part. But—"

"So Eli and I both heard you and Matty talking. And Eli freaked and ran up to their room. I thought about going after them but I wanted to know what was going on. But when Matty said he was going to make dinner, I panicked and ran in the guest room to hide."

"Why didn't you tell me about Eli when we talked after though?"

"Eli was upset! They didn't want to talk about it with you and it's not like you noticed at dinner or anything anyway."

Antoni winced and so did Matty. How had neither of them paid attention to Eli's mood last night?

Of course, Reese had been fussy because he was teething and River had spilled some burrito on her lap and it had been, well, chaotic at best.

Eli had been overlooked in the midst of it. Damn it! Matty should have been paying more attention.

"We should have noticed," Antoni said with a wince. "I mean, I should have. That's my fault."

Matty wanted to argue that no, it was on both of them, but he kept his mouth shut. He'd just have to do better in the future.

"So I talked to Eli about it after dinner," Alexis said. "And they were freaking out that Grandma and Grandpa Swanson would cut their hair and dress them in boy clothes if we had to go live with them."

Matty bristled at the idea. "We wouldn't let that happen."

"Yeah?" Alexis said. "Are you gonna tell the court no if they get custody? Are you going to fight anyone who comes to take us away?"

Honestly, if Antoni would let him, Matty would take them all to another country if that was what it took to keep them safe.

He'd do anything to keep them safe.

"I understand why you're both worried about that but it's not going to happen, Alexis," Antoni said calmly.

"Oh my God. You're living in a fantasyland, Uncle Antoni! We don't know what's going to happen. And I'm not just gonna sit here and wait to find out. I won't let them hurt Eli!"

"Neither will I," Antoni said. "But even if your grandparents got custody, we don't know for sure what they would do. Maybe with some time and some education they would understand—"

"No, you don't get it. They've already done it before!" she argued.

Horrified, Matty straightened. If those people hurt Eli ….

Antoni leaned forward. "What do you mean? What did they do before?"

"Before—before Mom and Dad died, Eli and I went to stay with Grandma and Grandpa Swanson overnight. And they—they cut Eli's hair. They put them in boy clothes and chopped up their dress right in front of them. It was awful. Eli was screaming and crying and begging them to stop so I snuck away and called Mom and Dad to take us home. They came right away and yelled at Grandma and Grandpa and said they were never letting them near us again."

Alexis was crying now and the fear and worry in her eyes made Matty's stomach churn.

"Why didn't I know about this?" Antoni whispered.

Alexis shrugged, wiping at her face. "I really thought Mom had told you."

"No. She didn't."

Antoni turned to look at Matty. "I—I don't understand. Bethany told me everything. Or at least, I thought she did." His voice had a weird hollow sound to it. "We got together for coffee to chat once a month maybe. Usually just at home but sometimes I treated her to a coffee out when she had the time. Why wouldn't she have told me about this?"

"I don't know." Matty reached out and squeezed Antoni's shoulder, wishing he could do more to help him.

"When was this, exactly?" Antoni asked, turning back to Alexis.

"I dunno," Alexis said, blowing her nose. "Maybe two weeks before the accident."

"Oh God." Antoni closed his eyes. "I … canceled on her. I was busy with school stuff and I—I canceled. I thought we'd reschedule but"—his voice cracked—"she died before we could make plans. I bet that's what she wanted to talk about that day. Oh, I feel sick."

He bent over, head in his hands, and Matty reached up to rub his back.

"I really thought you knew, Uncle Antoni," Alexis said in a small voice.

He straightened, shaking his head. "No, I had no idea. I knew your grandparents were … not super supportive of Eli but I thought … I had no idea they'd done something like that."

"So you see why Eli's scared?" Alexis pressed. "Why I'm trying to protect them?"

"Of course I do! But that doesn't mean it justifies lying! Look, I love how much you want to protect your sibling. You are so much like your mom sometimes, it's spooky. But that doesn't mean we should lie to the court about dating or God, getting married."

Alexis scowled. "Mom would."

Antoni opened his mouth but no sound came out.

"You know it's true," Alexis said with a toss of her head. "Mom would lie through her teeth to anyone if it meant keeping Eli safe. She would burn the world to the ground to do that. And don't you dare lie to me and say she wouldn't."

"Oh God." Antoni covered his face with his hands again and when he dropped them, Matty could see tears clinging to his lashes. "No, you're right. She would."

It made Matty sad he'd never meet Bethany. She sounded like someone he'd absolutely love. But at least he understood Alexis better now. At least he knew why she'd said what she did earlier.

Alexis reached for the stuffed fisher cat, hugging it to her chest. "Maybe I went too far today but this was the only way I could think of to fix it. I thought—I thought that if you and Matty were married, if the courts thought you were together forever—they would see that this is the best place for us."

"Okay," Antoni said slowly. "Okay, I understand why you lied now."

"Am I in trouble?" She chewed at her lip.

"Honestly, I don't know," Antoni said slowly. "You did something wrong, but for the right reasons. I—I'm going to need to think about it. Because lying—Alexis, that isn't good."

"I know." She looked down.

"And you don't need to take this all on yourself, Alexis. That's what I'm here for. I understand why you feel like you need to do it yourself but I want to be here for you when you need me. We're supposed to be working together."

"We're a team now," Matty said and then he wondered if he'd crossed a line, including himself in that group. He opened his mouth to reword it but Antoni reached out and touched his hand.

Matty held on.

"Yes, exactly, Matty. All six of us, we're a team. Matty and I"—he searched Matty's face and Matty nodded, even though he didn't know what Antoni was about to say—"we're here for you. All of you. I love that you want to protect Eli but let Matty and I do that too, okay?"

Matty's heart felt full, glad Antoni was including him in this. Glad he was finally acting like he believed how much Matty wanted to help him.

"I thought that's what I was doing when I played up the idea of you being together," she muttered, looking a little guilty.

"Uhhh." Antoni sighed, his expression conflicted. "Well, I guess you did."

"But maybe talk to us about it first next time?" Matty offered. "I don't like lying either, Alexis. I want to help Antoni and all of you guys. I mean it when I say I'd do anything to protect you. But you really surprised both of us with the wedding thing. I had no idea what to say to Judy or how to word it so I didn't make the whole thing worse. I don't like being surprised like that and I'm sure Antoni didn't either."

"Exactly," Antoni said, looking relieved. "We can't have you spring stuff like that on us."

"I'm sorry," Alexis said in a small voice. "Really. But it worked, didn't it?"

"I accept the apology and yeah, it did seem to work," Antoni agreed. "I just want you to understand what a difficult position you put both of us in."

Antoni was still holding his hand and it made Matty's chest warm. He liked that they were dealing with this together.

"But, Alexis, you might be right about the marriage," Antoni said slowly.

"Really?" She glanced up.

Antoni turned to Matty with a conflicted expression on his face. "I feel like I shouldn't ask but …"

"Hey," Matty said, his tone soft as he squeezed Antoni's hand reassuringly. "I meant what I said earlier. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you're all safe and happy. And if that means getting married to protect the kids, let's get married."