CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The beginning of the school year was always busy for Antoni and this year was even more chaotic now that he had the kids, but, thankfully, his parents were a godsend.

And so was Matty.

Last semester, Antoni had taken a leave of absence at the end of the school year to care for the kids and help them through the initial transition but after, he'd worried about how he was going to manage getting four kids ready when he started his workday before Alexis and Eli left for school.

His mom had suggested scheduling his planning period for the first hour of the day. He'd been hesitant to ask Principal Cunningham if that was an option but she'd been understanding about his situation and it really did make his life so much easier.

The first day of school was chaotic of course.

River was sleepy and clingy. Alexis was surly and anxious about her new teachers, worried she wouldn't have friends in her classes. Eli moved slower than a turtle who'd just woken up from a hundred-year nap. But along with some coaxing from Matty, Antoni got them all wrangled.

This year, Alexis was going into grade eight and Eli was going into grade five, which meant they'd be riding the bus together. It was a relief to Antoni, knowing Alexis would be there to keep an eye on anyone hassling Eli, though so far, there hadn't been any issues.

Then again, Bethany had put the fear of God into the school after a bullying incident a few years ago.

After Alexis and Eli got on their bus, Antoni dropped Reese off at his parents' house, then took River to preschool.

It was difficult saying goodbye but despite her tears and clinginess and his struggles leaving her when she was so upset, he made it to school with half an hour to spare.

There was time to drink the travel mug of coffee Matty had fixed for him and Antoni smiled when he found breakfast tucked into his bag.

That man …

Antoni stared at his empty classroom, thinking about the near kiss last night and the feel of Matty's warm palm on the back of his neck.

Antoni wanted it. God, did he ever want it.

And to know Matty felt that connection to him … knowing he wanted more than just some convenient sex … it made Antoni's head spin. A part of him wanted to throw himself at Matty and see where it would go …

But it was just too much to risk.

Antoni had done the right thing; he was sure of it. He just really, really hated that it was the complete opposite of what he actually wanted.

"Hi, Mr. Bianchi!" one of his students chirped as she walked into his classroom and he jumped, realizing he'd lost time mooning over Matty.

"Oh, hi. Ready for a new school year?" he said, clearing his throat as he gathered up the trash from the frittata bites and fruit, yogurt, and granola cup Matty had packed.

She grinned. "Totally."

After that, Antoni focused on school, only checking his phone between periods to make sure there were no important texts from his parents, Matty, or the kids' schools, even though he knew if it was that urgent, someone from the head office would get a message to him.

Still, he worried.

But the day passed smoothly and before he knew it, he was packing his bag to go home.

His parents were there, his mom reading, his dad working on his laptop at the dining room table. Reese was napping, River had been picked up from preschool, and Alexis and Eli had just gotten home.

Of course Matty was there too. From his mussed hair and the crease on his cheek, he must have just woken up from a nap.

Antoni sighed with relief when Matty appeared as warm and friendly as ever, asking the kids about their day, exclaiming over a picture River drew, then hanging it on the fridge and beaming when Eli talked excitedly about their new teacher.

"Well, I think you have this all in hand," his mom said to Antoni with a smile after Matty immediately got up at the sound of Reese awake and fussing after his nap.

"We're doing pretty good," Antoni said with a smile. "Life feels a lot more manageable now."

"Good. Since Matty gave us keys and the code to the gate, that should make things run smoothly in the afternoons. You really should think about adding him to the approved lists to pick the kids up from school too. I know you don't want to lean too heavily on him for help, but in case of an emergency …"

"No, you're right," Antoni said. "That would be smart."

"And I don't want to disrupt your schedule if you have something else planned, but would you all like to come over to our place for dinner tonight? Matty too, of course."

"I think he was going to teach me to cook something," Antoni admitted. "But you and dad could probably stay for that."

"No, thanks though." She patted his arm. "Maybe some other time."

"You just don't trust my cooking," he said with a laugh.

"That's not it, I swear!" she protested, laughing too.

But before Antoni could respond, Matty appeared with a fussy Reese. "What's going on? This little guy is having none of it. I didn't even get a single smile today!"

"I think he may be teething," Eliza said with a grimace. "I put some of his teething rings in the refrigerator earlier so they should be ready to use by now."

"Sounds good," Antoni said. "Thanks."

"You ready to go, Enzo?" she asked.

He looked up from his laptop screen and blinked. "Oh, yes. Just one moment while I wrap up this email."

"Oh, before you go, let me show you the pictures from this morning," Matty said, reaching into his pocket for his phone. "I took first day of school pics. I thought you might want some."

"He made me do some too," Antoni said with a roll of his eyes. "Apparently, I went into Grade Thirty-One this year."

Eliza laughed. "Oh how cute. Let me see."

Matty stepped closer to show her his screen and she exclaimed delightedly over it. "That's adorable! Send me this shot of Antoni with the kids. I want to have it framed."

"I hate you all," Antoni muttered.

No, I really don't,Antoni thought with a sigh. That would be so much easier.

But despite Antoni's conflicted feelings about Matty, the next few days flew by.

He was as kind and helpful as always and Antoni tried to ignore the way it made him feel when Matty taught him to cook, then helped clean and get the kids ready for bed.

He was around in the evenings too but Antoni usually fled for his room with the excuse that he had stuff to prep for classes. It was true, but Antoni was also grateful he was so busy trying to settle into the routine of a new semester that it meant he didn't have a lot of time to think about Matty.

Antoni didn't have time to sit beside him on the couch and watch TV. He didn't have to worry that he might do something stupid and rash like kiss Matty and tell him he'd changed his mind.

Because God, was Matty Carlson an amazing man or what?

It wasn't the grocery shopping he did, bringing home cheese and clementines for Eli and teaching Alexis how to make protein-filled vegetarian lunches.

Or the way he read Reese a story every night.

It wasn't that he'd hung a swing in the big old tree in the backyard for River and pushed her on it for half an hour after dinner.

It wasn't that Eli and Alexis were both already enrolled in the hockey program or that gear had arrived for everyone.

It wasn't even the back-to-school gift Antoni had found waiting for him on Friday, a brand-new brown leather laptop bag to replace his old, threadbare one.

It was all of those things and none of them.

It was Matty's laugh and his smile and the fact that he continued to go to the children's hospital to cuddle the babies there, even though he got plenty of time in with Reese.

It was who he was as a person that Antoni felt helpless against.

So when Matty asked him that weekend if he wanted to go out on the boat with a few of his teammates, Antoni said yes.

It wasn't a boat; it was a fucking yacht, which was the height of insanity as far as Antoni was concerned, but the weather had stayed very warm into early September, so Antoni figured they might as well enjoy it.

Alexis and Eli had a blast jumping into Lake Ontario along with Anton Makarov's and Eric Jensen's older kids and River happily splashed in the pool on the deck with the littler ones—supervised by Matty, Eric, and Anton—while Antoni hung out in the shade with Reese and talked to Elena Makarov and Kayla Jensen.

They were lovely people too and by the time the day was up, Antoni had agreed to some playdates and gotten a whole list of tips and tricks from Elena about managing schedules and teething babies and all sorts of other things.

The woman was frighteningly organized and incredibly capable as a parent and Antoni felt lucky to have met her and Kayla.

He suspected it was exactly why Matty had arranged for them to get to know one another.

Antoni promised them that he'd text if he ever needed anything like emergency childcare and, as Antoni drove Matty and the kids home that evening, all of them drowsy from the sun and exercise, he thought he might as well be dating Matty at this point.

It felt like they were dating. Just platonically.

And wasn't that fucking stupid because Antoni had been trying not to stare at Matty's ass in those wet swim trunks all day and Jesus he wanted to bury his face between his cheeks and eat Matty out until he came all over the sheets, sobbing Antoni's name.

Or, you know, vice versa. Antoni wasn't picky. Just as long as they were naked and touching each other.

But Antoni was being good. He was.

So later that night, when the kids were settled in to sleep and Matty asked him if he wanted to watch TV together, Antoni shook his head. "I'd kinda like a quiet night in just to read."

He couldn't remember the last time he'd sat down with a hardcover book and a mug of tea and just got lost in another world.

He loved audiobooks too and he listened to them as often as he could but it was a different experience, especially since he was usually doing ten million other things while he listened.

"Okay," Matty said quietly. "Um, some of the guys on the team asked if I wanted to go out and grab a drink tonight actually …"

"Go!" Antoni said. "Don't stay home on my account."

Antoni hated the way Matty's face fell. But it was for the best, right?

After Matty had left, Antoni checked that the kids were all sleeping. Alexis was spending the night at a friend's house and Eli, River, and Reese were out cold so he ducked into his bedroom to grab a book.

But once he was in there, an idea occurred to him. Maybe before he read, he should take advantage of the privacy.

So he locked the door behind him, showered, then pulled out a toy.

He felt guilty as he slicked the vibrating dildo and pressed it inside himself. Because he wasn't picturing some random fantasy man or someone famous.

It was Matty he imagined sliding into him.

It was Matty he pictured kissing and fucking.

It was Matty's name—strangled and muffled against his arm—that Antoni cried out as he came all over his stomach, chest heaving, body trembling.

After, when Antoni was cleaned up, dressed in pajamas, and he'd climbed into bed again with a book, it was Matty he pictured in bed beside him.

A big Sunday breakfast was apparently a thing around here because the following morning, Antoni woke to chocolate chip waffles, scrambled eggs, fruit, and turkey sausage waiting for him in the kitchen.

Matty looked unaffected by his night out, smiling brightly as he handed Antoni a cup of coffee.

But Antoni guiltily felt grateful that he didn't have to wonder if Matty had hooked up with anyone last night. Sure, at some point, Matty would probably date someone else. But he'd said it himself, he didn't do casual sex and if he needed time to get to know a person, it wouldn't happen quickly.

Antoni ignored the little voice in his head that said that the connection he and Matty built hadn't exactly taken that long.

But for now, since Antoni didn't have Matty, he was grateful no one else did either. Even though it made him feel like a horrible person.

Because Matty deserved all of the love and affection in the world.

When Matty returned from practice later that day, he asked if they wanted to have another picnic at the park since the weather was still lovely and warm.

Antoni didn't have the heart to say no.

So he let himself enjoy the day, playing tag with Eli and River while Matty minded Reese and Alexis skateboarded—this time with her own board, because she'd come prepared.

When they got out of the SUV after, and Matty wrapped an arm around Antoni's waist to gently coax him out of the way so he could grab Reese, Antoni took a deep breath of his cologne and tried to pretend like he could hold out forever.

He should. God, he knew he should.

But he'd never wanted anyone so much. He'd never felt like he'd met the right person at absolutely the wrong time.

Matty smiled, murmuring something about needing to get the mail, and Antoni almost leaned in and kissed him then.

But the kids were right there and he stepped back, grateful and disappointed at once.

The following morning, Antoni was fixing himself a second cup of coffee in the teachers' lounge when Tabitha Alvarado sidled up to him with a smirk.

They were friends—or, work friends at least—and often ate lunches together and discussed curriculum and yeah, sometimes talked about their personal lives. Being the only two queer teachers in the school had made them gravitate toward each other.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you're dating Matt Carlson?" she asked, blowing on her coffee.

"What?" Antoni blinked, nearly overfilling his own mug in his surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"I seriously can't believe you let me find out from an article on JockGossip."

"What?" he sputtered. "What the hell is JockGossip?"

"Oh, Antoni," she said with a sigh, the same one everyone gave him when he was clueless about sports things. "Seriously?"

He shrugged. "Look, I'm hopeless. We know this."

She shook her head, her brown eyes amused. "It's a sports gossip page. You really think you'd know that since you're dating an NHL player."

"Uhhh." Antoni managed a strangled noise of confusion. "Seriously. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh my God. Hang on."

She pulled out her phone, brought something up, then handed the device to him. "Here. Read."

Matty Carlson Playing House with Local Schoolteacher?

Toronto Fisher Cats enforcer, Matt Carlson, was recently spotted in the park with a hot mystery man and four children ranging in age from pre-teen to infant.

A close source indicates that the man is prep school English teacher Antoni Bianchi, who has been spotted with Carlson in public recently.

Following the cozy park outing, Carlson was photographed with his arm around Bianchi as they returned to Carlson's home, adding fuel to the speculation that the men are dating and, perhaps, living together.

Just friends or is something else heating up their late summer nights?

Since Carlson's acrimonious divorce five years ago, he has not been romantically linked to anyone but rumors swirled of involvement with a man prior to the split.

Is the enforcer ready to "switch teams" for good?

When asked to comment on her ex's sexuality, aspiring actress Courtney Quinn stated, "I don't know why everyone is surprised. It's not like it's the first time he's been with a man."

Sour grapes from a jilted lover or secrets from his past revealed?

Check the JockGossip blog for all of the latest developments in this intriguing new chapter of Carlson's life.