Chapter 17

Idalia had been moping all day. Her thoughts were scrambled, and her feelings annoyed her like nothing else ever had. For the first few hours after she and Bran had returned to the castle, everything had been perfect. She had been filled with so much happiness to be back with her family.

It had been so good to see Leonor again and to know that her sister was not angry with her, as she had feared. When she had returned to her room with her sisters and Adamina, she had been happy to have their company, enjoying their attentions and the stories they told of all she had missed in the very short time she had been away from home.

She had been so happy to see her nephew again. Although she had never wanted to have a husband or children of her own, she loved her nephew dearly and enjoyed immensely to have him in her arms. Idalia had not realized how much she missed him until she picked him up from his cot and the little one grabbed her hands and let out a happy giggle as though he was as excited to see her as she was to see him.

The only part of her day that had been difficult for her was being forced to admit her feelings for Bran. It was not long before she had been left alone after everyone else had retired for the night that she faced having to deal with her feelings all on her own.

She had spent the night tossing and turning in bed as she thought of Bran. Try as she might, it was impossible to get him out of her mind and she soon gave up on the idea, he invaded her thoughts. She thought of the moment they had on the boat, replaying it over and over again in her mind until it was all that she could think of.

Idalia closed her eyes and imagined his fingers dancing across her body as he pleasured her the way he had done in the boat. She had never known such pleasure and she wanted to experience it again with him.

She did not understand why he could not allow himself to be free with her, why he refused to give himself to her just as she had given herself to him and it frustrated her terribly. It frustrated her all the more whenever she recalled that he had been the one to kiss her and encourage her feelings for him. Why couldn't he have left her alone to continue to hate him for going along with August Raymond's plan to abduct her? Why had he shown her that there was more to him than that?

Idalia had been glad to know that she had not lost the man who had saved her life to August Raymond. She was glad to see that he had not been possessed with the darkness that dwelt in August. She was happy that all of this was for his daughter whom he was willing to risk everything for. She would never fault a man for doing all that he could to make sure his daughter was safe and able to live a normal life.

She could not understand how Bran could see himself as a terrible person and she doubted that whoever would hear of all that he had done would fault him for it also. He was a good man who had lost his way and she wished that she could help him see that.

Idalia had gone to bed with thoughts of Bran in her mind and it had come as no surprise to her when she dreamed of him. She had gotten out of bed and pulled back her curtains to allow the sunlight into her rooms, positively excited about what she was about to do. Idalia had quickly called for her breakfast before she went on her hunt for Bran.

As she neared his room, Idalia was disappointed to see that he was not in it, so she had gone off to meet her sister, Leonor who had not come down for breakfast.

She arrived at her sister's room just as she opened the door.

"Good morning, sister. Where are you off to?" she asked her in a jolly tone. Idalia really was happy that after her foolishness, running off by herself into the hands of the very man she should have been running away from, she had been given the opportunity to see her family again. She did not know what she would have done if Bran had been another man and she had been handed over to August Raymond with no hope of ever coming home again.

"Good morning! I was just about to go for a ride and then to take a swim at the lake just a short distance off. Would you like to come with me?" Leonor asked her as she closed the door behind her.

"I would love to, but there is something I really need to do. Maybe some other time?"

Idalia walked with her sister to the stables and grinned at the stable boy. She had apologized to him for stealing his clothes. She had offered to have them replaced, but he told her he was glad to see she was safe and that was all that mattered. Idalia had apologized once again, but he had only smiled.

Now, the thought of August coming after her began to fill her mind. She wondered if he was still obsessed with her and if she would ever escape him. And then Idalia suddenly found herself thinking of Bran instead.

I'm losing my wits!

For the first time, roaming around without anything to do did not feel good to her. Idalia walked past the council room, and her curiosity was piqued when she heard voices inside. She had not realized there was a meeting going on. Still, she did not stop to listen until she heard her name spoken.

Idalia paused by a window and peeked in, making sure she was not caught in the act. She was just trying to find out what it was about her they were discussing, yet it felt inappropriate. As she strained to hear past the different murmurs in the room, she hoped it had something to do with August Raymond. She hoped they were finally going after him and that she would soon be free to go about as she pleased, without the fear of being abducted hanging over her head.

"Are ye sure, Bran? Once she makes her decision she will be married tae Andrew and there will be nothing ye can dae," she heard Dunn's voice. Andrew? Why would she want to be married to him? Andrew was a wonderful man if a bit on the quiet side. She had, of course, had conversations with him, but he was mostly content to simply watch events unfold.

"Aye, I am certain." She knew that was Bran speaking. Her heart broke as she took in his words. All day she had been looking for him to confess her feelings, certain that he felt the same way about her as she did about him. And yet, here he was handing her off to his brother. Idalia was suddenly equally devastated and embarrassed. Did he not care about her at all? Not even a tiny bit?

Idalia knew that the only reason they were discussing her marriage was because they imagined it would stop August Raymond from chasing after her. Katarina had told her all about it during breakfast, but she had not realized it would be so soon. Still, even if they had to marry her off in order to save her, was the prospect so terrible for Bran of being with her that he would rather have her married off to another man, and his brother no less?

Her heart was shattered. She held her chest as the pain filled her. Had she really been a fool to think he cared for her? So many thoughts were running through her head, they made her dizzy. She had only just admitted to herself that she was in love with him, so how then could she so quickly shut him out just because he did not seem to return her feelings?

Idalia moved closer to the door of the council room, staying behind a huge pillar so that no one who walked past would see her. When she was certain she was safely hidden away from wandering eyes, she listened to the rest of what was discussed during the meeting. At least they seemed to have moved on from the issue of her marriage after agreeing to tell her first. She was glad they were giving her the option to refuse, although she knew there wasn't much else they could do to protect her.

They moved on to the topic of Bran's daughter and decided they would go and rescue her immediately after Idalia's marriage, which filled her with relief. She knew Bran was still berating himself about having had to leave Mahala there with August Raymond despite hearing the man say that he would never hurt his niece. She knew she would act the same way if it was her child in that situation. It would not do to have August Raymond taint the purity of the child with his black heart and terrible ways.

It was not long before the meeting ended. As the men made their way out of the chamber, she made up her mind to speak to Bran. She needed to know his reasons for refusing her. As he came out of the hall, she moved closer to him, grabbing his arm, pulling on it. She held back the smile that threatened to escape her lips when he jumped and looked back. She watched as the shock in his gaze eased into confusion when he took her in.

"Idalia?" he asked, still confused. "What are ye doing here?" She let go of his hand despite her desire to hold on to him and never let him go.

"We need to talk," she said, studying his expression. She noticed his hesitance and her heart broke even more at the realization that he did not even want to be near her. Still, she uttered, "Please."

"All right." He gestured for her to go towards the garden. Idalia looked at him and went ahead, with him on her heels. She paused in her steps and looked back at him without uttering a word, and he seemed to understand what she wanted. He hurried his steps until he was walking beside her. Together, they took a stroll into the garden, in silence.

Idalia closed her eyes as the evening air blew around her, carrying the scent of the flowers. She took in a deep breath and exhaled as she opened her eyes slowly. Although she had always enjoyed the smell of flowers and being in the garden among all the wonderful colors, she could not bring herself to enjoy it as much this time, not after what she had heard and what she was about to do.