Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

S he found herself in a warm, airy chamber, with a fire blazing cheerfully in the hearth behind a metal fireguard. Nearby was a clothes rack with some small clothes hanging upon it to dry, scenting the air with lavender. By the window stood some chairs surrounding a big table full of games, toys, books, and various paraphernalia.

But Raven's eyes went immediately to the big space in the middle of the room. There, laying on his belly on a large, brightly patterned rug, was a small boy. His feet were waving in the air as he clutched a pencil in one hand, his tongue peeping out of the corner of his mouth as he scribbled on a piece of paper laid out in front of him.

When he heard the door, he looked up, and Raven nearly collapsed on the spot. He was Arne in miniature, with the same bright blue eyes and features, the same dimples on either side of his grin as his father. The only difference was the mop of thick black hair on his head.

Raven trembled as a seismic shift took place inside her, leaving her temporarily unable to speak or move as her world turned upside down. Her heart pounded as she stared at Thorsten, feeling as though it was going to burst out of her chest from the overwhelming need to be close to him.

"Da! Come play with me," Thorsten cried, jumping up and running to Arne, his cheeks rosy with delight.

Raven watched, a lump in her throat, as his father caught him and swung him up in the air before hugging him close and kissing his hair. His love for their son was glaringly obvious, and it made her heart ache even more that she was not a part of it. Her whole body yearned to hug and kiss Thorsten as Arne could.

"Sorry, lad, me work took a wee bit longer than I thought. But 'tis all done fer the day now. I'm all yers until bedtime."

"Hooray!" Thorsten crowed happily as his father set him back on his feet. The little boy peeped up at Raven shyly from beneath the cap of midnight hair.

"This is a friend of mine I'd like ye tae meet, Thorsten. Will ye mind yer manners and say hello tae her?" Arne asked him, gesturing at Raven with his eyes.

Thorsten looked up at her, his bright blue eyes shining like silver sixpences against his pale, flawless skin. His shy smile tore at Raven's aching heart. She had to stop herself from grabbing him and squeezing him tightly to her breast as he said in his childish lisp, "Hello, I'm Thorsten. Pleased tae meet ye." He held out his hand for hers.

Hardly able to believe the moment she had imagined for so long was actually here, Raven slowly extended her hand and enfolded his small, warm pudgy paw in hers. The touch sent a whirlwind of emotions rushing through her, and it took a great effort for her to stay collected.

Smiles came unbidden to her lips as she bent down, and they shook hands, her and her son, for the first time in three long years. She tried to stop her voice from shaking as she said, "Hello, Thorsten. Me name is Raven. I'm very pleased tae meet ye too."

She did not immediately let go of his hand, loath to relinquish the touch of her boy's skin, proud of the sturdy, handsome little lad he had grown into. He continued smiling up at her, as bright as a button, almost as if he sensed something of great import was taking place. Finally, he squeezed her hand and let go, turning back to his father.

"Would ye like tae show Lady Raven some of yer favorite toys?" Arne asked Thorsten as they went further into the chamber. He sat down by the table and leaned his elbow upon it, smiling at their son in encouragement.

"Aye!" The little boy said with enthusiasm, looking at Raven with his miniature eyebrows cocked, just like his father. Pure laughter bubbled from Raven's lips as she nodded, while trying to chase away the tear threatening to fall down her cheeks. "I'd love that."

"Here, look," the boy said, running across to a large cupboard and throwing open the door. Raven saw it was full of toys and books, all neatly stacked. Thorsten bent down the bottom shelf and with some effort lifted out a large object. Grinning, he carried it over to her and placed it carefully on the floor. "This is me Noah's ark," he said, beaming with pride as he presented it to her.

Without a thought, Raven sat down cross-legged on the rug, rucking her skirts around her legs. "Why, 'tis marvelous. What is it made of?" she asked, watching every move her son made with a mixture of pride and anguish.

"'Tis made of wood, just like Noah's boat was, and it floats. I've sailed it on the lake many times with me Da" he turned back to Arne for validation. "And she's nae sank."

"Aye lad, she's a sturdy craft all right," Arne agreed with a nod, showing the gentle side to his nature that warmed Raven's heart towards him.

"Well, I hope I can get tae see her sailin' one day," Raven said.

The child smiled up at her, a picture of innocence. "Of course ye can, if ye stay here with us."

She thought she might burst into tears there and then at his childish earnestness, but she was determined not to upset him. Making an effort to keep her voice light and steady, she said playfully, "Now, if this is Noah's ark, then I suppose I can guess what's inside."

Thorsten giggled,

"Is it sailors?"

"Nay!" he burst out laughingly.

"Is it soldiers then?"

Thorsten sat down on his behind with a thump and rolled about clutching his heels with merriment. "Nay! Again!"

"Och, now, let me think." She paused, pretending to be deep in thought. "Ah! I think I have it. 'Tis… animals."

Thorsten rolled around with delight before getting to his knees. "Aye, animals! They all went in two by two, ye ken. Look, when I open up the roof," he lifted the hinged roof, "ye can see them all inside. I think they're asleep now though."

Raven leaned forward, her head close to his as they peered inside the ark. "I think ye're right, Thorsten, they look fast asleep. Can ye show me which ones are which without wakin' them up?"

"Oh, they like wakin' up because they like tae play with me," he assured her, lifting out the pairs of delicately carved animals and presenting them to her on his small palm. "Look, here are the lions, they're me favorites because they roar." He handed them to her.

"Are ye sure they willnae bite me?" she asked, pretending to be scared.

"Dinnae worry, I'll nae let them bite ye," he promised, his little body shaking with mirth. He smelled of soap, and she longed to take him in her arms and cuddle him. He took the lions, held them close to his lips, and whispered to them, "She's our friend, so nae bitin' her, all right?"

The lions apparently obeyed, for she took them into her hands and examined the delicate carving without incident. Two by two, he introduced her to his fleet of wooden animals: bears, monkeys, birds, even a pair of salmon, lifting them out carefully and handing them to her.

It was so wonderful to her to be playing with her son that she soon became immersed in the pleasure of his company and started to forget where she was. Until a pretty young woman with long, dark hair and dark eyes stepped in from an ante-room. She smiled at the scene in front of her as she dried her hands on a cloth.

"I thought I heard yer Da's voice," she said pleasantly, and Raven knew instantly that this was Muriel, Thorsten's nursemaid and possibly, Arne's new love. Unable to control it, Raven was seized by hot jealousy again.

"Muriel, this is Lady Raven, a friend I brought tae meet Thorsten," Arne explained as the young woman came further into the room and stood by him, watching Raven and Thorsten where they were playing.

"How d'ye dae, melady. 'Tis a pleasure tae meet ye. We love tae have visitors, eh, Thorsten?"

"Aye, I like new friends," the boy said, handing Raven a pair of wooden geese. "This is the sound they make," he told her, hissing and honking.

Raven pretended to look around her in surprise. "What was that? I thought I heard some real geese in the room," she declared, trying to banish her jealous thoughts over Muriel and enjoy her son.

"That was me, silly!" Thorsten cried, clearly tickled by her charade. "We dinnae let the geese indoors. They live in the farm yard with the other animals."

"That's very sensible, fer we'd all be in a muddy mess if we let them in here, eh?" she answered. They continued playing with the animals, and Raven could not help but feel resentful of Muriel's watchful eye upon them.

"Well, Thorsten, I'm afraid 'tis time fer ye tae start gettin' ready fer bed," the nursemaid finally announced.

"Ach, can I nae stay up a bit longer tae play with me friend please? I like playin' with her. She's funny," the boy protested, screwing up his little face, leaving Raven not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

"Five more minutes, then, and maybe melady will help ye tae tidy away yer animals, eh? They need their sleep as well, ye ken."

Thorsten looked at Raven and rolled his eyes. "We have tae clear up. I have tae go tae bed soon. But will ye come and play with me again?"

"I'd love to. We'll play tomorrow, eh?" she told him, her heart aching as she helped him tidy away the ark. Then she was forced to watch Muriel lavish all the care on her boy that she should have been. It was like being made to swallow bitter gall. When she saw the nursemaid changing him into his night attire and he clambered into bed, she could have wept with frustration and jealousy.

"Sweet dreams, lad," Arne told Thorsten as he bent over him and planted a goodnight kiss on his forehead.

"Good night, Da. I want Lady Raven tae give me a kiss as well," Thorsten piped up, smiling across at her and she looked toward Arne for permission.

"All right." Arne turned to look at her. Filled with a mixture of elation and pain, she summoned a smile and went over to the bed. She looked down on him, putting all the love she had inside her into her eyes as she bent and pressed her lips to his smooth, soft forehead.

"Night night, me darlin;" she breathed. "Sweet dreams."

"Night night, Lady Raven," he whispered back. "'Tis a shame I have tae go tae sleep now, but we'll play together again tomorrow." He put his little arms around her and hugged her. Raven almost broke down, but she forced herself to smile at him and move away from the bed, hiding her face from Arne and Muriel as she secretly dashed a tear from her cheek.

Seeing Thorsten with his mother made Arne feel as though his heart really was breaking all over again. Raven had been so emotional, he could easily see how she was holding it all in and putting on a cheerful face for Thorsten's sake.

And the way Thorsten seemed to have taken to her so quickly seemed almost uncanny. Was it possible the boy could sense their close connection? He knew it was not, but he had to wonder, for he had never known Thorsten to bond with a stranger so quickly.

As they said good night to Thorsten and he led Raven out into the hallway, he was in such a confused state, he was glad to see Sofia approaching them. He needed a chance to be alone or talk things over with someone else and try to make some sense of his thoughts and feelings.

"Ah, there ye are," Sofia said, smiling as she came up to greet them. "Am I in time tae say goodnight tae Thorsten?" she asked.

"Aye, he's only just got intae bed," Arne replied. "Before ye go in there, Sofia, would ye be kind enough tae take Raven tae her chamber? I'm nae sure which one's ye've prepared for her."

"Of course, gladly," Sofia said beaming at Raven, and linking her arm with hers, she drew her further along the hallway and stopped outside a door. Arne listened as Sofia opened it, saying, "I've put ye in here, Raven, so ye'll be close tae Thorsten." She pointed down the hall. "Me and Haldor are further down tae the left, and the door opposite ours is Ivar and Catalina's chambers—they're away just now for a wee trip tae her home, but ye'll meet them very soon. Catalina is a lot of fun. And the door opposite this one is Arne's."

The two women disappeared inside the room, leaving Arne to his thoughts. He felt emotionally drained but also rather put out. It appeared that Haldor and Sofia were prepared to accept Raven as part of their family without even consulting him about his feelings.

Would it nae be best to keep her at a distance? How is it they can trust her when I cannae?