7. Ben

BEN

I was fucking boiling.

What temperature did Juno set the thermostat at? No one else at my little sister's party seemed bothered.

Just me.

My head rifled through a list of symptoms, trying to diagnose myself.

Feverish, skin tight, joint and muscle pain.

I was either about to come down with a flu or I was an omega going into heat.

Ok, so it was probably option A. But god, if this is what Juno felt like on a regular basis then I felt sorry for my sister. Sure, she was the human embodiment of a mosquito to me sometimes but that didn't mean I wasn't sympathetic.

There was also a scent I kept picking up traces of. As a beta, I wasn't used to scents being distracting or affecting me. They were more like muted air fresheners I would pick up on as I went about my day.

But this particular one — something sweet, fruity and floral all in one — was like a nail being hammered into my skull.

Get it together, Ben. You're here to celebrate with Juno. Focus on that.

If someone had asked me if I had a sister five years ago I would've said no.

Shameful. It was fucking shameful and I hated any reminder of it.

I thought Juno had abandoned our family and our financial struggles for an affluent pack of alphas.

In reality she had been forcibly bonded, going through an unimaginable hell. Handed over by our own father to settle a gambling debt when he discovered she wasn't his biological daughter.

None of my excuses were good enough. It didn't matter how demanding my course load at med school was. How busy I was because my parents pressured me to keep my part-time job to help with household expenses. Or the way they had participated in crafting a lie about Juno's supposedly happy life.

I would always live with the guilt of letting her down.

"Have you received your residency offers for next year?"

I blinked hard to try and clear the fog overtaking my brain. I was in the middle of making small talk with Juno's unnerving as fuck alpha Isaac and was certain both of us would much rather be elsewhere. His tone was friendly enough but there was a flatness to his stare that conveyed volumes.

"Er, yes I have actually." I cleared my throat and massaged the back of my neck, trying to loosen the stiff muscle. "I start at St. Elizabeth's soon. I've been looking for a place to rent in the city."

"So you'll be around for Juno more often."

I gave the prime alpha a sidelong look. "I can't tell if that makes you pleased or annoyed."

"That's because I haven't decided yet, Ben."

That was fair. I wouldn't like me very much if I was him either.

Before I could say something dumb that would probably ruin my chances of ever gaining Isaac's approval, one of his dads appeared and stole him away to be a fourth for mahjong. I took a deep breath, relieved.

There it was again. That fucking scent.

I spun around, eyes darting madly trying to track down the elusive source. I finally landed on a small group of women chatting in the corner. There was something inescapable and haunting about one of them. Even though all I could glimpse was a curtain of silky, long dark hair.

My eyes tracked downward. Curvescurvescurvescurvescurves.

Fuck.

I found myself searching through the crowd for my sister, sprinting toward her when I spotted her near the buffet table. I grabbed her by the elbow, only half-hearing her protests about being taken away from food or something.

"You'll live," I cut through her yammering. "Hey, those are your friends from the Omega Village, aren't they? Who's the taller one with long hair?"

The one that makes me feel like no one else exists in this room.

Juno and I looked over just as she turned slightly. I got my first look at her side profile and a flash of eyes so alluring I wondered if she was descended from the deadly sirens of legend.

"Ew, Ben."

I glanced down at Juno wiping her hand on her shirt with a disgruntled expression. Had my forehead really been that sweaty? She offered to let me lie down upstairs, which was the absolute last thing I wanted.

What I wanted was to know who she was.

"Say please."

God, Juno was going to make me jump through every possible hoop like a circus animal, wasn't she?

"Please," I muttered.

"That's Hazel."

Hazel.

Her name rang in my heart with the deep resonance of a cathedral bell.

"We were in the same trial group and lived in the Village together. Do you want me to introduce you?"

Yes. A thousand times yes. Except—

"I can't meet her like this. My hair." I ran my hand along my scalp, mourning the loss as I felt stubble instead of my ordinarily thick strands.

I'd shaved it (or rather Juno did) as part of my attempt to make amends and do better. Sitting in on her interview and corroborating her story was the least I could do. We had our DNA tests but it made for better television when an old photograph showed I looked exactly like my (balding) father and Juno didn't.

I would shave it off again for her in an instant.

Maybe.

As if she could hear my thoughts, Juno unceremoniously slapped my hands off my head. I almost retaliated before realising drawing the ire of her six packmates was not a good idea. "You did a very selfless thing for me in the interview. That will be omega catnip for her more than whatever the hell your hair looked like before you shaved it."

Magnificent. That's what it looked like. Why wouldn't she admit it?

I didn't quite catch the last thing Juno said until she was walking away from me towards Hazel.

"No! Juno. Juno!" What was she doing? I wasn't ready. "Come back here."

Juno was returning with Hazel in tow. Holy shit. I felt like I was having a panic attack, a cardiac episode and respiratory failure all in one.

"Ben. I'd like you to meet—"

Oh.Seeing Hazel up close was disastrous.

She wasn't just beautiful. This was some fabled, written in the blood of history, face that launched a thousand ships type shit.

And I was just Ben. Ben with no hair.

I was fucked.

"I thought what you did for Juno during the interview was so sweet." Her voice was light and lilting, like spun sugar. "Was that really all your idea?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Juno mime something incoherent before backing away.

"Yes, I…" I paused and swallowed, really wishing my tongue didn't feel like dead weight in my mouth. "I severely let her down in the past and it was the least I could do."

My truth tumbled out, even though it was possibly the least alluring, mood-dropping thing I could have possibly said. But something about Hazel made me want to expose the bleached bones of my messed up psyche.

Hazel blinked. "Wow, that's…admirable." I could almost see her flirty facade recede. She cast a glance over her shoulder. "The girls and I were talking about how grateful we were to not be hearing all the negativity around bond dissolution anymore. Well…not that it's gone. But it's certainly a lot quieter."

There was a fragility in her expression. It was a sharp reminder, like a stiletto blade sinking into my chest, that the bond dissolution trials had been for omegas who were escaping abusive situations.

"Many omegas are in a better place because of it." My voice roughened. "I hope you are too."

There was not enough joy in Hazel's wry little smile. "In a manner of speaking."

That drove me crazy for some reason. I needed her beaming and happy always.

"You deserve all the good things in life, Hazel."

Instead of looking repulsed, Hazel looked…stricken. Then her eyes hardened, shimmering water turning to glass.

"You don't know me, Ben."

I didn't. But I needed to.

And I was already fucking it up.

Don't say shit like ‘you deserve all the good things in life' to a complete stranger.

"Can we…can we start again?" I held out my hand and hoped for the best. "I'm Ben, Juno's brother and my hair is usually longer, I swear."

The pause that followed before she slipped her hand into my palm was possibly the longest of my life. I was certain I had imagined the little catch in her breath as we made contact.

"Hazel. Sometimes my hair is pink," she said, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

My brow furrowed. "Pink?"

"Maybe I'll tell you if you're a good boy."

I wasn't sure why being called a good boy made me feel like a wild animal was about to emerge from my chest, hold her down and show her all the ways she was wrong.

The dull ache behind my left eye sharpened considerably.

"Are you ok?"

Her voice sounded far away from where I was crouched over, hands on my knees.

"Yeah, I…I just need some air, I think."

Hazel glanced behind me. "There's kids running amuck in the backyard. It'll probably make whatever you have ten times worse. Maybe you can try the balcony on the second floor. Come on."

The noise from the party grew dim as we ascended the stairs but the ringing in my ears only got louder.

The balcony and quiet did help.

Having Hazel there, leaning against the wall watching me, helped even more.

"For what it's worth, Juno's glad to have you around."

A surge of hope shot through me.

"Yeah?"

Hazel shook her head placatingly at me like I was being foolish. "How do you feel seeing her like this?"

It was a loaded question. Omegas tended to have a greater sense of intuition and empathy than most and Hazel was no different.

"Like how?" I asked, buying myself some time.

"Happy. Bonded."

I gazed out into the distance, taking in the view of the affluent suburb where Juno's pack house sat. "Bittersweet," I admitted. "So happy for her." I leaned over the balcony and stared down at my clasped hands. "Angry knowing everything she suffered. Guilt over my part in it."

Hazel drew closer and her scent swirled between us. A flower-lined path, pushing aside overhanging leaves, each step bringing me closer and closer to—

I gripped the stone beneath me so I wouldn't waver on the spot.

"It doesn't go away, you know," Hazel said.

Her voice was barely audible in the still night air.

"What doesn't?"

"The guilt."

I found myself standing over her, losing myself in those infinite dark eyes.

"What happened to you, Hazel?" I asked hoarsely.

She didn't answer. Instead, we took our next three breaths together.

In and out. In and out. In and out.

"Why does it feel like this?" she whispered.

I knew what she meant but asked anyway. Needing to hear her say it.

"Like what?" I said thickly.

"Why does it feel like we can dig the worst parts of ourselves up for each other and it'll never be too much?"

"I don't know."

We moved towards each other like it was preordained. My hands found the curve of her waist and pulled her against me. Her fingers at the nape of my neck tightened at the first touch of my lips against hers.

It was the end of the world and the start of my life all in one devastating instant. I sank into the oblivion of tasting and feeling her. Lost my sense of self at the small involuntary noise she made when I deepened the kiss. The way she pulled my head back to hers the moment we separated branded me.

And her scent.

The trees seemed to swallow me, the aroma from their adornments inescapable. Plump limes, soft white flowers. I pushed the final branch aside and there she was. Past, present, future melded into one. She turned to greet me and her face blurred—

My thigh slipped between her legs as our tongues met for the first time and the energy between us tilted. Turned dark, primal and hungry. The heat of her burned through my system and there was a persistent, pulsing pressure in my cock driving me.

I needed her on all fours.

Presenting her dripping pussy.

Ripe for me to mount.

Rut.

Breedfull of my—

Hazel ripped her mouth from mine and I was bereft. She was staring up at me, a stunned horror seeping into her gaze. Her chest rose and fell as she took a deep inhale and her expression shifted like she'd confirmed something.

"No." Hazel stepped back.

"Hazel," I rasped, not even knowing what I was pleading for.

"No," she repeated, resolutely this time. "You can't be."

She turned and ran. Everything in me screamed at me to follow.

Not just follow but to chase. Subdue.

Pinning her to the ground before—

"What the fuck is happening to me?"

I collapsed against the wall, trying to clear my head of the rabid impulses bombarding me out of nowhere. My body felt coiled, loaded, ready to burst.

And to my great humiliation, nothing more so than my fucking dick.

I reached down, trying to adjust myself into some semblance of decency. My fingers stilled when I felt an unfamiliar rounded muscle at the base of my shaft and everything crystalised for me in a great rush.

I wasn't a beta at all.

I was an alpha. A newly awakened, late-presenting alpha.

And the omega who just ran away from me was mine.