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44. Hazel

HAZEL

My mother was a poison.

She had a way of invading my thoughts. Sticky black murk clouding my judgement and staining every choice.

Knowing that she was behind the threat to expose me meant my profile wasn't in jeopardy at all. My panty-selling method was secure and there was no stalker subscriber who went too far.

I should've started posting again.

I wanted to start posting again.

But now that I knew she was watching me…

I couldn't fucking do it.

Even though that was giving her exactly what she wanted.

I stared at the door to my filming nest and couldn't even bring myself to open it.

The blanketing warmth of a low blaze hugged me from behind.

"Talk to me," Remy said comfortingly.

I closed my eyes and let his scent wash over me. I could taste the whisky, pulled from a bottle as we traded secrets. Kept them safe within the quiet of a million undying stars.

"It all feels tainted," I finally said.

"Why does it feel tainted?"

"Knowing she can see what I'm doing." I bit down on my back teeth hard. "And judging me."

Remy was making little loops on the back of my hand with his fingers, the smooth, repetitive motion centring me. "When you think about making content, does it feel like a chore? Or is it more like you have ideas but there's this roadblock?"

"Definitely the second. A scary-ass Jesus-loving Chinese mother of a roadblock," I groaned.

"Would it help if you didn't show your body?"

I drew back, confused. "What do you mean?"

Wasn't that the whole purpose of my profile?

"I have an idea, if you're open to it." Remy seemed quietly hopeful as he kissed my hand quickly. "If you want to stop, we stop. And goes without saying that nothing gets uploaded unless you're 100% ok with it."

I hated to disappoint him. "I appreciate you wanting to try but it might not work."

"That's ok, too," he said, undeterred. "Are you up for it now?"

Anything was better than wallowing in thoughts of my mother.

"Yes. I-I trust you."

His answering smile made me feel golden inside. We were the only ones at home but Remy didn't let me in on his plans just yet. Instead he kissed me, gentle little presses of his lips on mine. Every now and then he would tuck my fallen strands of hair behind my ear or stroke my chin with his thumb. It took forever for us to fall back onto the cushions.

This was nothing like the way we usually started our filming sessions. His hardness and my slick arousal were completely secondary to our affectionate touches. The connection between us built and built, twin flames set alight.

"Give me one second," Remy said eventually. "I'll be back."

I wanted his weight back on me the moment he got up.

"I hired these when I got the idea." He returned with a couple of folded up tripods and a hard black equipment case. "If we do this in the future, it'll probably be easier to just pretend and read scripts, though. But where's the fun in that?"

The latches on the case clacked loudly as he opened it. Three microphones lay protectively in the foam inside.

Remy unspooled the largest one and set it up on the table. The other two are placed on the stands. Once he was done, I was certain whatever sounds we were about to make on that couch would be thoroughly captured.

He switched them all on one by one and instructed me to say something so he could check the audio levels.

I looked him straight in the eye. "You're so fucking hot."

Competency kink was a thing, right? Something about watching him spread those tripod legs made me want to spread my legs.

He grinned. "Glad you finally see the light."

Remy rejoined me on the couch and pulled me into his lap. "No cameras," he said.

"No cameras," I repeated.

"Just you and me. No one sees anything." His hands slid down my back and cupped the ample cheeks. "But they sure as hell are going to hear me take this ass for the first time."

I gasped.

There was a deep, seismic shift in the energy of the room. All his soft kisses and sweet words fell away as he put on his mantle of Ryder Hard.

And fuck if I didn't want to be a good little omega and please him.

"I said I would one day, didn't I?" Remy said lightly, indicating for me to stand up. One rough movement and my leggings and panties were down by my knees. I kicked them off as quickly as I could and he resettled me on his thighs. "I told you there wasn't going to be a single part of you that wouldn't know the feel of my cum. We both know I've knotted your sweet pussy and that you love the taste of me on your tongue."

I cried out as he spanked my bare ass. The sound was sharp, reverberating right up to the mics. "Now I'm going to fuck this tight little asshole and make it mine," Remy promised me darkly.

"Yes," I hissed. Should I be louder? "Yes," I repeated, clearer this time. "I need it."

"What do you need?"

"Your cock. Stretching and filling my ass." His finger inched lower and I whimpered.

"And what else?"

Saying everything I wanted him to do to me out loud was cracking something open in my psyche. Ask for what you want. Take what you want. Remy had been the one to initiate this but everything he was about to do was because of me.

I rose up on my knees, pulled my shirt off and unclasped my bra, tossing it aside. His eyes burned hot into my naked form and he groaned when I resettled myself on him, my breasts resting delicately against his face.

"I want you to knot my ass and come deep inside me," I purred.

"Yes," Remy hissed. "You're not going to be satisfied until I've filled you up, are you?"

I lifted his chin with my palm and traced his jaw with my fingers. This beautiful alpha riled up and ready to give me what I needed.

"No," I said, making sure I sounded extra breathless for the mics. "Please don't make me beg, alpha. I'll do anything you want."

"God." The word was ripped savagely from his throat. He kissed me hard. "You're perfect," he said against my lips. "You're so fucking perfect."

His praise clenched something hot and low in my belly. He stripped his clothes off, before stealing kisses on my bare skin. Telling me how beautiful my body was, how much he lived for my tits and curves. Every word felt like a caress until I melted into him completely.

"I want you to present for me, omega. Show me what's mine." He lowered the register of his voice so it sounded more menacing than it was. The barest trace of his bark slipped through.

"Yes alpha," I said, obediently getting on my hands and knees. "Like this?" I popped my ass high in the air and lowered my face onto the cushions.

"Mm, look at you. You're just a perfect little fuck doll, aren't you?" His palm came down on my right cheek hard and the couch muffled my cry. Remy rectified this immediately, twisting my hair in his fist and yanking my head back.

"I can see how wet this is making you." Another slap, sharp and whip-like. I screamed, loudly this time.

Remy showed me no mercy, covering my ass with a rapid succession of quick, stinging slaps. All while telling me how pretty my ass looked when it was so red and how slick my pussy was getting. The pain and pleasure started to blend and meld until I was a whimpering mess beneath him.

Remy's fingers found my entrance and started dipping in. My cunt made an obscene wet squishing sound.

"Oh, god," I choked. My cheeks were flaming and he chuckled. He started to fuck me with his fingers, not for pleasure, but to show how unmistakably drenched I was.

"Do you hear yourself?" Remy asked nonchalantly. Yes, I could hear it and fuck, if it wasn't getting louder. "I don't even need lube. You're already soaked and perfect for me."

I shuddered when he spat. I felt it land on my ass crack and his thumb pressed the wetness against my back hole.

Then he withdrew entirely. I turned around to see him reaching for the bottle of lube.

"I'll cut this bit out." He winked. But the way he caressed my cheeks was adoring and careful, wanting to make sure the experience was good for me.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"I'll always take care of you."

We kissed. Affectionate, light and only for the two of us.

"Ready to keep going?"

"Yeah." I grinned. "Come wreck my ass."

He gestured forcefully at the little clear bottle. "Excuse me, I literally just took a lube break!"

"You're so big, it wouldn't matter."

Remy hung his head like I'd utterly defeated him. "God, I forgot how much trouble you can be sometimes."

I laid my chin back on my arms and pushed my ass high into the air. "See if you can fuck it out of me, then," I challenged him. Then a butt wiggle, just to really rub it in.

I was a little less cocky when he embedded his fingers roughly back into my pussy, coating himself in my arousal.

My breath started to come out in shallow, uneven pants as he took his slick-covered fingers and started to press them one at a time into my ass.

"Yes omega," he praised me. "I can see you working to take me. So eager for me to fuck you."

I knew he was doing it for the recording but his non-stop commentary of what he was doing to my body was ruining me. Every sensation felt doubled somehow as he seduced me slowly with his words and his hands. He was everywhere, inescapable and I ascended to a higher plane when he told me I'd taken one finger, then two, then three.

Surely I was ready for him?

"P-please." My legs were starting to tremble.

"Please what?"

I knew what he wanted and I knew what our scene needed. "Please," I begged. "I need your cock in my ass. It's yours, alpha. Fuck me, use me, own me."

Remy leaned down, lightning zapping between us at the touch of his chest against my back. "You are so pretty when you beg," he said admiringly.

There was the click of the lube bottle opening again. And a wet sound of him slicking his length.

I didn't think it was possible to crave him inside me anymore.

His tip felt so much thicker than his fingers as he pushed it against me. Remy had prepared me well though. I exhaled loudly as the head of his cock popped through my ring of muscle without any resistance. But he didn't stop, steadying me with one hand on my back as he continued sinking deep.

"Fuuuuck." He drew it out, matching the way he slowly filled me. "You're so fucking tight. Look at your perfect ass taking my cock."

His first proper thrust was heaven. The gradual pull outward. Then fucking back into me hard, his knot pressed against my ass cheeks. He was murdering me slowly and all I wanted was to be reborn so he could do it all over again.

"Remy," I whimpered as his pace increased. I'd forgotten what we were doing, why we were doing this. Who we were supposed to be.

All I could think about was him.

"God, Hazel."

"Remy, it's so good. How does this feel so good?"

"Shit Hazel, you're going to make me come too fast."

We were both losing it.

"I need you to come," he said desperately. Remy grabbed my wrist, bringing my fingers down to my clit. "Touch yourself." His voice was low and dangerous, the command of his alpha bark creeping in again.

I whimpered and began to rub tight circles in my sensitive, swollen flesh. His compulsion made the sensation otherworldly — it was my hand but it was also somehow his doing, splintering my mind from the pleasure.

"Do you want to come on my cock, omega?"

"Yes," I whined, my voice high and tight.

"Do you want me to make you come on my cock, omega?"

If a hint of his alpha command felt this good, I couldn't imagine what it would be like if he impressed the full weight of it upon me.

I turned to look at him. "I want to come so hard I can't even move, talk or think after."

The fires burning in his eyes rose, crackling and hot as his scent engulfed me entirely. Remy wrapped a hand around my neck, pulling my face up towards him. His kiss was so incongruous to everything else, worshipful and giving.

I gasped as his knot began to push into me. Stretching me wider than I'd ever thought possible.

"This is yours, omega. You were made to take me everywhere."

Straining. Pressure. The rightness of feeling him lock into place.

Remy's fingers covered mine, taking over the quick, tight strokes over my clit.

His bark was nothing like I expected. Gentle yet all-consuming. A soft request, weighted by a world with only the two of us.

"Come, Hazel."

There was Hazel the woman and Hazel the omega, and with his bark, Remy created a third.

A Hazel that was his.

Because the rapidly unravelling, uncurling sensation throughout my whole body was his. The neverending freefall was his. He was there the whole way with me, every contraction of my body squeezing the cum I craved from his knotted cock.

He demanded everything from me with his command and I gave and gave until I was reduced to a shaking, quivering shell.

"Shh." Remy was scent marking me. On my cheek, my neck, my shoulder. "You did so well."

It was a long time before I could form words again. And even then I couldn't manage a full sentence.

"That…that was…"

Remy kissed my hair in understanding, not needing me to finish a sentence I didn't even know how to end.

"Oh god," I groaned suddenly. "We didn't…I called you…"

"It's ok," Remy assured me quickly. "I'll edit it out later. Nothing will identify us, I promise."

He gently moved us into a spooning position on the couch, checking his knot wasn't uncomfortable. Tsked when I answered "a little, but a good uncomfortable" and started massaging my back and shoulders. One hand found its way to my front, sliding down my stomach. The other encircled my throat. I was entirely at his mercy, knotted and choked. He began to circle my clit, dipping down to delve two fingers into my pussy before gliding back up again.

"Come one more time, Hazel. Just for me."

I fell apart to the sound of his quiet praise in my ear.

When I finally felt him soften enough to pull out, I quickly squeezed my legs together and clenched tight so his cum wouldn't slip out.

"Take a picture. To go with the audio."

He groaned. "No. No pictures. We already said."

"I want it," I pouted. "I want to see."

I got back on my hands and knees, looking back over my shoulder at him with half lidded eyes. "Don't you want to remember this?"

Remy's chest rose and fell raggedly as he stared at the slow drip of him out of my ass. "I'm going to take pictures because you want them. And because you're so fucking hot like this. But I want you to decide what we do with it later, when you're not all high off orgasms. If they all get deleted then that's fine with me. Because pictures or no pictures, I'm going to remember this forever."

Remy grabbed my phone — not his — and I think I might love him a little.

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