22. Hazel

HAZEL

I didn't have the strength to fight post-heat. Under different circumstances I might have pushed him back when he first wrapped his arms around me. Stomped my foot a little more when he got all alpha with me.

But I came home from NOC to an Alpha Brotherhood "A" spray painted across the pavement outside 101 Riverside and an inbox full of shitty DMs demanding my attention. In my vulnerable state, every one felt like the savage peck of a vulture. Slowly picking my flesh clean.

My omega did not understand why Remy wasn't with us, continuing to tend to us. Bonding us the way his bite attempts had promised.

Then my nightmares had been awful this morning. They were always worse after a heat. Incredibly vivid — sights, sounds, smells, bringing me all the way back to that awful day when—

I didn't fucking want to think about it. It was bad enough that I relived it when I was asleep, I didn't need to when I was awake too.

I didn't argue because the truth was I wanted to be taken care of.

Ben was here. Worried about me. Not in the least upset that I had ridden out my heat with another alpha.

I still wasn't sure he was real.

"Ok."

Ben seemed startled by that. "Ok?" he repeated.

I flicked his arm. "Don't make me say it again."

He made a motion like he was going to pick me up.

"Ben, just…normally, please!" I pushed my palm against his chest which was surprisingly sturdy and hard.

"Sorry, I just feel like my brain and instincts are pulling me in two different directions somehow. Just…let me hold you for a second." He engulfed me in a big hug.

"Feed the non-crazy wolf inside you, please," I said dryly, patting his shoulder. But I held him tightly against me, getting the full brunt of his new alpha scent for the first time since that night on the balcony. Liquid dark chocolate drizzling down my chest, sliding off the curves of my breasts. A low groan before my nipple was sucked into a warm mouth, tongue flicking out to taste me.

"Hazel, I'm getting you the fuck out of here. Right now."

His hand was in mine and I let him guide me out of the gym in a daze. The fresh air cleared the fog from my brain and I could think again.

"Shit, your scent is like a fucking stimulant injection of horniness."

"Yeah well, feeling's mutual, sweetness."

The elevator ride up was suffocating.

"I didn't bring you up here for that, Hazel."

His black eyes and the way the muscle tensed in his braced forearms said otherwise. He guided me down the hall with one hand on the small of my back and indicated which door was his with a nod of his head.

"What did you bring me up here for, then?" I asked, turning and leaning against his front door. Ben drew close, his body caging me in.

"To sleep."

Then he turned the knob and only his arm around my waist stopped me from falling on my ass inside his apartment.

I walked purposefully through his place, intent on finding the bedroom. It was stark, with no real sense of personality apart from a plant with a bow on it that I was pretty sure had come from Juno. Ben was right there beside me, turning and redirecting me whenever I headed in the wrong direction.

"If you think I'm sleeping when I'm feeling this fucking wired—"

Straight then left. Right into the laundry. Hands on my hips guided me down another corridor.

"I will wind you down and you will sleep."

His bedroom door flung open and the last thing on my list of bed activities was sleep.

"I'd like to see you try."

He disappeared into what I assumed was a walk-in robe.

"Get out of your clothes."

"Finally."

A t-shirt landed on my face. It smelled like clean laundry and nothing like chocolate sex.

"And put these on." A pair of men's pyjama shorts flew out at me.

I pushed my leggings down. "You're not going to help?"

"I know you have been dressing yourself without any assistance for many years now, Hazel. So no, I'm not going to help."

I couldn't help pouting at that a little.

"I'm done."

Ben came out with his hands over his eyes, in an almost identical get-up to me. But his T-shirt was filled by broad shoulders instead. And just enough of his thighs were revealed that I could clearly see that he had been diligently attending the gym for non-stalking purposes.

"Seriously? You thought I was lying?" I crossed my arms.

His fingers parted slightly so he could peek, only dropping his hand once he was satisfied. "Not lying but definitely prone to fibbing to get what you want."

"Maybe I don't want you," I sniffed.

"That's a lie." Ben smirked. "Now get on the bed."

"What?"

"Sitting. On the edge," he clarified. "I'm going to give you a massage."

"Oh."

Then instead of playing smooth RnB and promising to rock my world, he turned on sounds of the ocean and began to gently coax the tension out of my head and neck with his fingers.

Ben had some sort of wizardry in his hands because after a few minutes of this, I felt my eyes grow heavy. My body felt loose, on the verge of sinking into a puddle.

"Up we go."

He threw his covers back and laid me down on the bed, his fingers continuing their rhythmic, pressured circles. His body was very warm as he slid in next to me.

"Good night, Hazel."

I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

There was a cock in my ass.

Not in in. Just laying there, like a hot dog in a bun.

I had no idea what time it was but this was probably the most refreshed I had felt waking up in a long long time.

It was very likely due to the fact I was encased by a peppermint chocolate smelling alpha I wanted to eat right up. I wiggled my bum against him and his breath hitched slightly, the palm on my stomach jerking involuntarily.

Oh, this was dumb. I couldn't let my horny brain take over again. We hadn't talked about anything — what I did for work, if it was safe to forgo protection. But then, even if he did have a condom, the idea of him coming into latex instead of in (or on) me made my omega hiss.

His hand slid up and cupped my breast.

"Hazel."

His sleep-roughened voice melted down my spine.

"We can't fuck," I said immediately.

Ben nuzzled his nose against the curve of my neck and shoulder and the sensation went straight to my clit. "Ok, we won't," he said, sounding unbothered.

"I'm serious." I tried to put a bit more steel into my words but his thumb was so far away from my nipple it was absolutely aggravating me.

"Do you see me putting my cock in you?"

I groaned. "Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"You know."

"Ok."

It was unfair, because I really wanted him to talk about his cock more.

"So, why can't we fuck?" Ben asked after a beat. His hard length slipped just a bit deeper into the crease of my cheeks.

"I do OmegaFans and I need to make sure your tests are negative," I blurted out.

I couldn't take the silence that followed. I turned onto my back so I could look at this face. There was a shock, sure, but I could also see the gears turning in his head.

"Is this what the pink hair comment you made back at Juno's party was about then?" he finally said.

"Ben," I said, a little miffed. Surely he couldn't be so blasé about it.

"What drew you to it?" he asked. "Initially, I mean." I searched his face, finding no trace of judgement in his open expression.

"At first it was a bit of a fuck you to my religious parents," I admitted slowly. "What would scandalise them more than their only daughter going into the sex industry? But once I started…I got really invested in getting better. There's not a lot of actual omegas on OmegaFans, you know. And the ones on there mostly just relied on saying ‘yes alpha' a lot and showing they could take knots easily. I just thought there was so much more you could do! Like teasing your slick through leggings and, and—" I faltered as I realised how long I'd been speaking for.

Ben did not appear offended or repulsed. "You like doing it, don't you?"

"Yes," I said firmly. "I'm fucking great at it."

When people weren't being assholes about it, I caveated to myself.

"Do you work with other people?"

My cheeks grew hot despite myself. "Just one. The alpha who helped me through my heat."

"Does he have a name other than ‘the alpha'?" Ben prompted.

"Remy…but his OnlyA's handle is Ryder Hard."

"Of course it is. What's yours?"

"Sierra Echo."

"That sounds pretty tame."

"Not when I follow it with XXX."

"I don't get it."

"It's the phonetic alphabet and it spells…you know what, never mind, it isn't relevant." I waved my hand, feeling like this conversation was derailing. I wish I knew what Ben was thinking but I supposed I had to let him get to the end of his fact-finding mission.

Ben thought for a moment before he asked his next question. "Good money?"

"Excellent money."

"And you feel safe doing it? Your fans don't get crazy or anything?"

"That would be pretty fucking terrifying if they did. But I don't show my face, so it's not like they know who I am in real life," I explained. "I do sell my slick panties though," I added in a small voice.

Ben flopped back onto his pillow and suddenly I felt panic. Panic that this was a dealbreaker for him and I was going to have to choose. Choosing would lead to resentment which would lead to—

"Well, I can't say it was what I was expecting. But you're obviously passionate about what you do and I never want to hold you back from that. Maybe it's easier for me to feel this way because you're my scent m—" he cut himself off abruptly with a self-conscious glance my way. "Erm, I mean…I thought my alpha would be screaming at me that your vagina is only for him to look at but he's not."

"Are you sure he's not screaming a little bit because he hasn't seen it yet and wants to?" I teased.

Ben sat up on his elbows. "Are you offering?"

I shoved him back down. "Moment's over, champ."

He took that as a challenge, moving up and over me slowly until I was surrounded by him. A thigh slid between my legs, parting them slightly. "Is it?" he asked mildly, even as my breath caught in my throat.

"I-I still need to know that you're in the clear." Why was it so goddamn hard to talk all of sudden?

"I know," he said, grazing the tip of his nose against mine. "I haven't forgotten." He scent marked me, cheek and neck sliding along my skin. Goosebumps rose up, my hair standing on end as my body ached for him. "I'll get onto that straight away."

"Yes. You do that."

"And then what?"

"What do you mean and then what?"

"What happens once the results come back negative? It will, by the way. I haven't been with anyone without protection since my ex three years ago and I've always been careful since."

My omega raged at the thought of this alpha fucking other women. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and snarled, "Then you get to fuck me raw and fill my pussy with your cum."

I yanked his face towards mine, our lips crashing together. My scent absolutely detonated, overwhelming his minty richness with fantasies of summer heat and the press of sun-drenched bodies. He wasted no time, one hand coming to grasp my jaw as his tongue explored my mouth. Every time we broke apart, one of us would surge back, finding each other over and over.

"Ok, so no fucking," he panted.

"No fucking," I reiterated.

His hand slid along my stomach, lifting, lifting my borrowed shirt higher. "This isn't fucking," Ben reasoned.

"No, it's not," I agreed. He cursed as he exposed my body, nipples tightened and aching for him. His mouth and hands were on me in an instant, sucking the darkened tip into his mouth as he massaged the soft swell of my breast.

"God, every time I do this…" Ben swirled his tongue around and bit down lightly, making my hips buck involuntarily against him. "I get a hit of your sweet slick perfuming. Can't fucking think, all I want to do is get more of it out of you."

Two fingers hooked into my waistband and seconds later I was naked, unable to hide how wet he made me.

"This still isn't fucking," he confirmed as he draped his hard, clothed body against me. A roll of his hips pushed my legs open, his trapped bulge pressed against my slick core.

"Definitely not."

It wasn't. Just a facsimile of it designed to drive me utterly fucking crazy.

Ben's fingers entwined with mine, pressing the backs of my hands into the mattress. He began to grind into me, the fabric of his shorts instantly soaked with my arousal. His cock was sliding over and over my clit but I felt so fucking empty a whine slipped out of me.

"Wrap your legs around me," he demanded roughly. He released one of my hands and I obeyed, fisting the short strands of his hair. We were so fucking close yet so fucking far from what we needed.

"Oh fuck, Ben," I cried out as I felt him slide two fingers into me. When a third joined it, a harsh sob fell from my lips. The weight of him on top of me was such a tease. I was surrounded by his touch, his scent, the taste of his kisses — everything but that cock and knot still cursedly confined by layers of fabric.

"I want to feel you squeeze my fingers and soak my bed with your slick." There was a wild and frenzied gleam in his eyes. His fingers sped up, curving and pressing against the sweet spot inside me that filled my vision with sparks. "Let me go to sleep every night hard as hell thinking about how fucking beautiful you are when you come."

I instantly came undone. I was a mess. Gasping, sobbing. Yanking all the nerve endings from his scalp. Hips slamming against him, my slick convulsing pussy swallowing his fingers.

It still wasn't enough. My omega clawed at me, pissed as fuck at being denied this alpha's cock and knot and cum. The unsatiated need rattled my teeth and bones to dust.

"You have to come on me," I choked out. My hands grasped at his shorts, tugging downward and freeing his cock.

"Hazel, fuck, I'm barely holding it together right now," Ben snarled.

I began to stroke him desperately. "I need you. Need you to cover me and mark me." I didn't even fully comprehend what I was saying, just that I had to keep working this perfect, hard cock in my hands until it gave me what I wanted.

"Shit. Shit."

"Give me your cum, alpha."

The first hot spurt of him landing on my stomach sent an absolute riot of endorphins rushing through me. Yes. More. I kept milking his cock and knot as he groaned, staggering upward so he could unload on my tits as well. I pressed the head of him into my skin, running it down my body and leaving behind a streak of cum.

If I could somehow tattoo this sensation into me I would be a content omega indeed.

Ben collapsed on the bed, half on top of me. "Ok, I get it now," he mumbled, pressing a kiss into my neck.

"Get what?" I laid his hand on my stomach, guiding him to rub his scent further into my skin and he shuddered.

"The whole alpha and omega thing now. I get it." His cheek grazed against mine instinctively.

It was utter mayhem in that bedroom — pheromones, sweat and our mingled scents. None of it made sense. Citrus and floral and sunshine was not supposed to mix with dark decadence and a biting sharpness.

But it felt right for us.

"Get tested. And let's find out how good it can be."

This is a dangerous slippery slope,warned my left-brain.

My orgasm-drunk hormones promptly drowned the wispy voice out. It's just sex.

"I promise that is happening as fast as humanly possible," Ben said, breathing heavily. He smoothed back my hair from my forehead and scent marked me again. God his alpha was territorial. "But I need one thing from you too."

"What's that?"

"You. Here. In my bed, every night. Letting me do whatever it takes to help you sleep through."

The arousal faded from his eyes, replaced with a burning determination. I knew he wouldn't budge on this.

"That's all this is right? You're not like…trying to court me or anything?" I hedged.

He was silent for a long time. "No. No courtship."

"Then deal."